When a non-resident parent is not paying maintenance towards his or her children it can be very tempting to withhold contact with the child as a means of punishment. Sometimes this non-payment can be justified, for example if a non-resident parent has been made redundant, and in other circumstances there is no good reason for the non-payment.
If a non-resident parent is not paying but still wants to see the children, it can be hard to know what to do. Your feelings of anger may be mixed with the desire of your child to see his or her parent. In legal terms, there’s no ‘right’ to see a child or to withhold contact with a child from a non-resident parent. Parents with care often struggle to understand this. It can certainly seem unfair that a non-resident parent can pay little or no money towards a child’s upkeep, but then is able to take the child abroad on holiday for two weeks, for example.
On other occasions, the CSA may have made a calculation that seems to be far below that which you expected, or seems not to be based on the non-resident’s actual income. However, it is never right to withhold contact, no matter what the situation.
The Child's Best Interests
The courts, social services and other public authorities look at what is in the best interests of the child, rather than one or both parents. If you are withholding contact from a non-resident parent, remember that time spent with a child is not a commodity that can be ‘sold’. It may be the child who will suffer, and they may blame themselves for the non-contact or non-payment. Despite their differences, this is obviously not what either parent wants!
Contact Orders
A contact order is usually made when parents are not able to agree terms upon which a non-resident parent can see his or her child. It essentially means that the parent with care must allow the non-resident parent access to the child, whether that means allowing the child to stay with them, or simply letting the child keep in touch with their non-resident parent by phone or letter. An interim contact order can be made while the final details of the contact order are being arranged.
An order details the type of contact that has been agreed between the parties and can mean a number of different things:
- Direct contact (physical meetings with the parent, who either visits or is allowed to have the child stay with them.)
- Visiting contact (non-resident parent visits the child)
- Staying contact (child allowed to stay with the non-resident parent)
- Defined contact ( the parents agree to specific timetables)
- Supervised contact (access given in a supervised contact centre)
- Indirect contact (no direct contact, but letters, phone calls, emails etc. allowed)
Breaching the Contact Order
The parent with care sometimes withholds contact that is agreed under the order. Unfortunately, this happens all too often. In these circumstances the parent with care may be brought back to court but it is a sad fact that it can mean extensive legal wrangling and increasing bitterness simply because a non-resident parent wishes to see his or her child.
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