Understanding parental responsibility
When a relationship ends, parents often have questions about how decisions will be made for their children going forward. Much depends on whether both parents have parental responsibility.
Parental responsibility is a legal term covering the duties, rights and authority a parent has regarding their child. This includes decisions about education, medical treatment, religion and where the child lives.
Mothers automatically have parental responsibility from birth. Fathers have it automatically if they were married to the mother at the time of birth, or if they are named on the birth certificate for children born after December 2003 in England and Wales. Unmarried fathers whose children were born before this date, or who are not named on the certificate, can acquire parental responsibility through a formal agreement with the mother, by marrying the mother, or by applying to court.
If your ex has parental responsibility, they have equal standing in law when it comes to major decisions about your child. This remains the case regardless of who the child lives with most of the time.
Answer a few questions about your situation and get a clear summary of your child maintenance rights and options.
Try our Child Support Rights Checker free, here on this site →Contact and spending time together
There is no automatic legal right for either parent to have the child live with them or to spend time with them. However, courts in England and Wales start from the position that children generally benefit from having a relationship with both parents, unless there are welfare concerns.
If you and your ex cannot agree on arrangements, seeking legal advice or exploring mediation should usually come before considering a court application. Mediation can help parents reach their own agreement without the cost and emotional toll of court proceedings. Court processes can be time consuming and stressful, so resolving disputes through mediation is worth serious consideration wherever possible.
If court does become necessary, either parent can apply for a child arrangements order. This sets out who the child lives with and when they spend time with each parent. Before making an application, you will usually need to attend a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting.
Courts consider the child's welfare as the main priority. Factors include:
- The child's physical, emotional and educational needs
- The likely effect of any change in circumstances
- The child's age, background and any relevant characteristics
- Any harm the child has suffered or is at risk of suffering
- How capable each parent is of meeting the child's needs
Your situation may be slightly different. ask a question below ↓ and our editorial team will reply with our advice.
Can your ex take your children?
Many parents worry about their ex taking the children and not returning them. If both parents have parental responsibility, neither is technically breaking the law by keeping the child with them, unless a court order says otherwise.
If you are concerned about your ex removing your child from the country, you can apply for a prohibited steps order. Taking a child abroad without the consent of everyone with parental responsibility, or without a court order allowing it, can be a criminal offence under the Child Abduction Act 1984.
Where there is a child arrangements order naming one parent as the person the child lives with, that parent can take the child abroad for up to 28 days without needing consent from the other parent, unless the court has specifically ruled otherwise.
If you have immediate concerns about your child's safety, contact the police. For ongoing worries, seek legal advice or apply to the family court for protective orders.
Reaching a workable arrangement
Most parents manage to sort out arrangements without going to court. A written parenting plan can help you both agree on the practical details and reduce misunderstandings later. You can find templates on the Cafcass website.
Where communication is difficult, family mediation can provide a neutral space to discuss arrangements. Some parents find it helpful to use apps or shared calendars to coordinate schedules without direct contact.
If there are disagreements about the arrangements, keeping a detailed record can be helpful for future discussions or court proceedings. Note dates, times and what occurred in a factual way.
Child maintenance and contact are treated as separate issues in law. Your ex cannot withhold contact because maintenance has not been paid, and you cannot refuse to pay maintenance because contact is not happening. That said, these matters can become tangled in practice when emotions run high. Keeping them separate helps everyone focus on what matters most for the child.
For information about child maintenance calculations and the Child Maintenance Service, check GOV.UK. For guidance on family court processes, the GOV.UK website and Cafcass provide reliable starting points.
If you are unsure about your legal position, consider getting advice from a family solicitor. Many offer an initial fixed fee appointment. You may also qualify for legal aid if domestic abuse is involved or in certain other circumstances.
I was wondering if u could share to anyone u know so we can reform child maintenance law and increase payments as child maintenanc is ridiculously low and I want to extend the age to 23 so children are ensured a better future - I am a single mum who is struggling financially it would be greatly appreciated if u could share around
On there terms including never at Christmas . Me and my son have no choice and I’m the opp I’m fighting for his dad to see his son more. He has legail p r we wasn’t married but he my son or sons has him name he also has special needs . He also pays Matience that he wants amd chooses and hides his income it’s a horrible situation to be in feel so sorry for my son . They also live local
He has contacted his ex partner weekly when she unblock him, asking why she isn't sticking to order or replying to his solicitors letters, only to be told its a waste off her time and she dosent care what the judge says. In the mean time the children are living in a verbally and now physical abuse is happening. What should he do.
My daughter goes to her dad's every fortnight we have been court and have a court order but do I have to still send her if her dad grips her by her clothes and puts her in a coat cubbord for punishment.
Many thanks
I just want to protect my child away from him and his toxic family.
I had to ask him to leave my home so I don’t know where he lives. The other day he harassed me giving me 14 missed calls. What can I do?
Shortly afterI realised I was late so took a test and its positive, I have appointments with Dr's and such but when I told him he blocked me on every platform. Yet I fear he will try to gain contact when the baby is born, how could I stop this contact from happening or have some protection as due to his nature and behaviour i am worried he may possibly be agressive towards the baby or myself during the rest of the pregnancy
These heated arguments have gotten progressively worse over the past 3 years and have resulted in violence from my daughter and then a call to me to collect her as the ex can’t deal with her.
So as requested on sudsy I collect my daughter, she has stated repeatedly she wants to stay with me and live here as she feels a lot calmer and her sometime violent behaviour doesn’t happen with me and there are few arguments at my house.
Now my ex had obviously gone nuts saying she can’t stay here and came to collect her on the 1st July 2020 but my daughter refused to go with her again stating that she wants to live with me and wanted to stay with me. I asked my ex to outline what she wanted regarding contact but she has refused to say anything. She has now said she wants me to drop my daughter back on Sunday of this week, I’m concerned I won’t get her back again. I have PR and just wanted to know what obligations I was under to take her back. Further if my daughter refuses to go does that improve the situation
Mine is getting easier but still a struggle in ways.
If a child lives or already is in the care of the main parent with out a residency order the other parent can take the child.
A child arrangement order ( CAO) is also required.
Apply to the courts for this and try internet to start the application ( May cost a bit but is the best way to get this secure.
If the parent is not on the birth certificate they do not have the right to take the child or have any legal rights.
If the parent who has not seen the child from 6months Onwards 0 contact no contact with in that time, you can apply to the court for full custody as the absent parent is not considered as a child’s best interest of importance.
Child maintenance is free to set up with them and they can track the absent parent, details would be name, number if have it ( not important)
Address or area known even old address.
Work info
Any info on the parent.
Any domestic abuse apply for a order if not safe to minimise contact while it get investigated and arrange contact centre supervised if safe enough, but most importantly a residency order needs to be applied also while doing this, report to police and women’s aid.
Hope this helps
my child does not know him well enough to have any visitation without me present .
What are my rights ?
What's with these threats of courts and with holding custody? It's nonsense and you should be ashamed of yourselfs.
I get most of your situation and it s scary but half of the comment section is full of vindictive snakes looking for control.
I have 2 kids a 12 n a 4year olds few years ago I went true domestic violance and had to run been in a refuge n manage to get life bk track so few years later found out ma eldest is a diabetic type 1 wit no families in the country I tried make it up wit him so we could get support but he started mentally abuse n I feel his trying to turn my kids against mi, says am and mom because I went true depression n anxiety so his constantly saying hi will take dem from mi am really scard simply because his on birth certificate, wat can I do will he be able to take my kids?????
My child live with his mum and has lewtning difficulties and speech problems. I am growing concerned that he is not progressing snd his mum isnt spending enough tine with hin to help him. He spends a lot of time at his nans.
I spend majority of weekends with him but i think he will benefit living with me. I love with my partner, second child and my partners chils who my sons gets on with very well. She also without knowing helps my son with his speech and learning and every week we do honework together which he loves and learns from. We also havr a set routain which he addapts to reallu well where at his mums he doesnt serm to have one.
He comes to me looking like a mess on many occasions and has sometimes come with no underwear on.
Has anyone got any advice?
This is the last thing I wanted, but he takes him away and won’t bring him home till his life is busy.
He sends abusive texts constantly watches my house and drives so dangerously.
I’m by no means perfect but my life is falling to bits I can’t sleep or think and I’m paranoid all time he’s watching.
He has my neighbors watching me and more.
The police are powerless because we do need to have contact over are son.
Can anyone help me with what will happen at court? My anxiety is through the roof :-(
hate me.... she doesn’t want to see him anymore but is afraid of him so next time he asks to have them I will have to say no as I need to protect her... what can I do to stop him as she is so distraught about all this he takes drugs and is very unreasonable.
Now we have split it up, I want to have access to our baby and take him home for a few nights a week. She is saying that while i can see him whenever I want i can only see him and spend tome with him at her house as she doesn’t like the area I live in. Is she allowed to do this ?
I have a problem my ex he want to see a child but he is not paying a maintenance so now he took me to children's court. I don't want to see him near my child since well he not providing. last when we were at court he said the child must not visit him i must keep her so i did what said now he her back now.
He arrived back to drop them back home, had a screaming match with me at the door, as if a power thing as he’s got and had the children. They wouldn’t then step inside their home and off they all went again in his car. He’s stating he’s keeping them and applying full custody. I don’t want to upset the children anymore then they must be or allow them to see us being like that, I wouldn’t of allowed it if the children were in the door already. We was married so in law I know he gets parental rights but 4 years amicable and now this. What happens now?
What can I do
I have never restricted her from calling them or from them calling her using my phone. Occasionally it hasn’t been convenient or it may be delayed but never refused.
She is threatening all kinds of things if I touch or restrict the phones in anyway. Do I have a right to ask god tracking is disabled and to limit phone usage in my own home / when my children are in my custody? I feel like she will digitally spy on them/me and it’s very unsettling.
Any advice anyone can give would be very much appreciated
Sadly, there is only one mens charity which deals with domestic abuse, and one refuge, in the entire UK.
A well written piece on this would be very welcome
Before doing so id like the check what sort of contact I should offer him baring in mind I would have to move back to my home town which is approx 40miles away?
Newmum
I just want my son and I'm coming back every 4 weeks for 5 days and I want him then and to facetime 2 or 3 times a week thats it. I do not want to leave him. I just want to provide for him and give him.the best life and I'm willing to sacrifice the time so I can own a house, provide for him and give him a good life.
Thanks in advance.
We both have PR as he’s on birth certificate.
I would now like to relocate with my son down south to be with a new partner and for us to be a “family”. My question is- what could my sons father do to potentially obstruct this and what are my rights as the mother and primary carer.
My sons father is not interested in the day to day runnings of things and for all intents and purposes has removed himself.
thank you for the help
I got a PSO and she moved there in June without the children who have been living with me ever since. I applied for a CAO and it will be heard early in January. CAFCASS have seen all concerned and are suggesting that my eldest (13) goes to live with her and the younger two stay with me(11/9). My question is as she is not a reasonable person can I get the court to define who pays for visitation, she moved why should I have to pay anything surely she should cover all the costs of flying the children backwards & forwards for visits? She currently pays maintenance for all 3.
Neither of us earn that much as to afford regular visits.
I do honestly don't want nothing from him, I've been alone in this situation by myself. Now he want to be the dad that has been there.
My question is: Can I have the baby without hes surname ?would he have right towards him?
If I got to other country to have my baby, because I dont have support here, it would affect my house with council?can them take it away ?
Cohabiting for 10 years. Relationship has broken down. Mediation agreed to settle residency, financial and property concerns. He cancelled pre-determined mediation date. He rearranged mediation date for a time when I couldn’t care for our children. His response “ask your friends to look after them”. While this is fine and well orrinarily it’s not feasible before half term. Now mediation arrangement for November and our relationship is deteriorating daily.
Issues, he ended relationship in August. Left family home after violent outburst and returned 2 weeks later. We are developing property. We are in debt. Neither of us have money to move out of the family home. He said categorically he cant do I’ve suggested I move into my parents. My parents live 4hrs drive away. He’s not communicating with me and keeps on saying we will discuss at mediation. This in principle is fine, but he cancelled mediation in October and I have little faith he will keep appointment in November.
Further, we have business together. 50% shareholders. He’s saying I have no rights to business. It’s my main source of income since 2012. He won’t give me child maintenance, or any support whatsoever. He controls all financial matters.
I want to leave to stay with my parents with our children. The advice I’ve been given is that it won’t look favourable in the Courts if I just take them.
I have looked into schools and I can get them moved and settled with another equally good school. He’s refusing to even discuss it.
We are now both arguing infornt of children. It’s a toxic environment. It’s awful.
Advise? What’s my legal position regards taking them without written consent.
I need some advice if anyone can help me.
Me and my current partner are going through a bit of a tough time and I have 2 children to someone else he has made remarks to my 5 year old stating he is going to slap my current partner and get some one to slap me. Over these last 2 year's he has said he will pick the kids up or just show up with attitude he rarely pays any child support for his children he will give me £6 a week for my daughter's dinner money for school he will send messaged to me calling my partner saying he is going to get people round my house to drag my partner out. When I was with him he was physically abusive towards me he is also ex army and suffers from ptsd and is still violent towards other women and has recently been in a fight with someone who has left his face a mess I don't want this around my kids however I don't want my children not seeing there dad. My son has a great relationship with however our daughter does not he only started seeing her when she was 15 months old and he was ment to take her for a few hours as he lives quite far away and I don't have transport however he kept her over night and refused to bring her home until the next day all if this is causing problems for me and my current partner please can anyone give me any advice
Ud appreciate so so much your answer ASAP. Thank you
L.
In the few months before the school summer holidays I noticed that his attendance had dropped into the 80% region. These Days off are usually Mondays and Tuesdays and come accross as a coincidence as they are his mum's days off work . She is always out at the pub sometimes with my son but 95% of the time without him and clubbing with friends leaving my son with his Grandad . This happens almost every weekend that she has him when I do believe she should be spending quality time with him .
The other day I bumped into an old friend for her to tell me that the constant partying and going to pub has meant that the people she is associating with has lead her into drugs as she was caught in the toilets of a pub taking Cocaine and was banned from the pub for one month. This all happened nearly a year ago and have only just found this out from an old friend. Obviously I have no proof that she is still using Cocaine just what I am still being told by people. I am very angry at the fact that drugs have been used whilst she is supposed to be looking after our son. I do believe that he would get the structure he needs and the safe environment with myself his step mum and his baby brother.
I am writing to you for advice in what to do next as I'm angry and upset about the partying and the drugs and how her lifestyle is affecting my sin and the low school attendance. He has only been back a week and has already had two days off. Please help what I can do next....
Please help
..my partner has parental responsibility rights and he has a court order which states he can pick his son up early afternoon every Friday due to work commitments he cannot sometimes make that time so he asks me to collect his son which is a two hour drive away. The ex is refusing to let me take him back to the fathers even though the father has given me full permission on his court times I’ve also been in the sons life for 5 years and up till now always collected h with no problems. Can she stop this or does the court order and the fathers permission allow me to collect him?
I am seeking advice regarding my ex the father to our son who is 6. We are both on benefits and he has never offered or contributed anything towards my towards my son( who lives with me). Can I apply Child Maintenance.
Presently he is acting really badly and I caught my children walking home alone (age 7&10). I stopped and asked them where they were going they said home because daddy is working. When I asked him about it he just had a go and swore at me. Then told my daughter off for telling me things. The children say he is always saying nasty things about me and they were sat in the car for two hours the other day whilst he made phone calls, and on more than one occasion have been sat in the back of a chip shop while he works.
He was emotionally abusive to me during our marriage and I’m worried for my children now - my daughter has told her grandparents she hates going as he questions her all the time.
I don’t know what to do I can’t afford a solicitors as I’m already paying off his bill for he divorce, as he chose not to even though he signed to say he would but the solicitor is not pursuing me.
My partner and I have a 2 year old boy, My partner is serving time for Child Grooming,and has a court order not to be alone with anyone under the age of 18. He will be released in 6 months time.
I have left my partner under going counselling and do not want to see him again can I get a court order giving me sole Parental Rights.
I stopped inviting him but kept him updated. He attended the birth but due to having to stay in hosp for a few days he created a scene arguing with me and becoming verbally abusive and offensive on the ward, although tactfully not around staff, to which i told him to leave. On discharge I still gave him the benefit of the doubt to have a relationship with his child, allowing him into my home whenever he pleaded, but again became too comfortable and verbally aggressive around the baby, to which i stopped. I resorted to meeting him in public and communicating through text, which has lasted 2weeks for him to continue to be abusive towards me. I have now put a stop to this as have tried everything i can. His mood and attitude towards me concerns me when our child is in his care. He refuse to listwn to simple instructions of last feeds etc. He has her about 3-6hrs a week on his terms and pays minimal maintenance. I am not allowing this environment around our child and informed him contact is stopping until he goes down mediation route, as shows more of a commitment to arguing and creating an issue with me than actually seeing his child. We both have PR due to being on the birth certificate. Am I being reasonable? Will our child hate me for this? I've tried what I can for him to build a relationship with his child although he creates an awful atmosphere during pick ups and drop offs. I'm at a loss, as have our childs best interest at heart, wanting a comfortable environment for her, but its proofing impossible? Any advice would help
I have been seperated for over two years. Me and my ex agreed to joint custody which with us both working shifts was tough but we managed.
Approximately 8 months ago she got a new job working 9 to 5 which meant the kids now spend more time her its less disruptive and we dont have to rely on family as much. I made it clear im also trying to find a job with similar workjng hours so we can get back to 50/50.
The children have always been registered as living with me in the family home and as im still single and earn less i can claim tax credits which i half with her.
She now wants the children registered as living with her. This would also mean we would lose tax credits as she has a nee partner and they dont qualify.
She did try and change the our sons choice of new school a few months ago...something we had always agreed on.
Where do i stand? Can she just simply register them as living with her.
I still have them every other weekend. Monday to friday. Every third week i pick them up from school and drop them off in the evening all week. School holidays i take time off and other odd days shifts allowing.
Financially im struggling. If i lose the tax credits as well im not sure how i will cope apart from doing loads of overtime which in turn means less time with the kids.
Too many sleepless nights over this. Please help
I have been divorced for 4 years. I have 2 sons, 8 and 5.
My 8 year old does not want to see his dad. I have tried to encourage him to go and I buy them toys or give them money to take with them. He has felt this way from the beginning but I know his father has a legal right to see his son.
What age can my son refuse to see his father?
Thank you
However my step son has been having lots of problems being with my girlfriend children and there has been name calling and some hitting and lying and my girlfriends childs pet fish was taken out of the tank and left in middle of lounge next to my son which he says he never done.
I have spoken to my ex and she doesn’t see any issue but obviously I’m having problems taking him to hers and we were discussing moving in together but there have been so many issues she doesn’t want him around I’ve spoke to ex and she says she won’t let me have my daughter if I don’t take my step son!
Does she have the right to do so???
What can I do???
I split from my partner over 8 years ago and we have a 14 year old son together. Unfortunately he has developed cancer and is in hospital at the moment. My ex has been making it extremely difficult when visiting my son and wont allow me my own time within the ward with my son. She literally sat there and ignored me for the 1 hour visit she allowed. He goes in for chemotherapy on Thursday and I was wanting to visit him but she has said not to come as he will be tired. Can I legally request private time with my son in hospital? I have parental custody!
We are still going to apply to the courts under child welfare.... but I want to know how likely the courts are to grant the Adoption?
It seams ludicrous to me that a man that has never sent a birthday or Christmas card to "his much loved son", has never paid for any upkeep or even taken him to the park should have PR and the entitlement to make decisions on a child's behalf.
My son has written a letter to the courts and we have al the proof about me asking for contact and him refusing ect.
I am worried about how much it will cost too!
He isnt allowed to see our son overnight as he cannot be trusted as he has a drug problem, so, i agreed that he could see our son on a Tuesday and Sunday evening where he takes him out for tea (straight from school on a Tuesday and from 12-6pm on a Sunday) and brings him straight back home for around 6pm latest. That in itself is not much at all but at the moment he never comes on a Tuesday saying he cannot get home from work in time and he rarely shows up or even answers his phone on a Sunday. He will sometimes ring me at 4pm on a sunday after our little boy has been sat waiting for him all day at which point i have to tell him no because i presumed he wasnt bothering and had to get tea on etc so our son is in bed for 7 ready for school. Last week end i ended up marching up to a pub i knew he was at and going ballistic at him im front of all his friends at how mad i was and sick of seeing my little boys sad face that his Daddy cant be bothered to see him and is sat outside pubs instead. It was not my finest moment but i was just so infuriated af the situation i had had enough. It is an absolute nightmare. I never get any help at all and i feel he is using the money situation to control my life and i am really struggling. I have no time for myself what so ever and on the rare time someone babysits for me i get nothing but abuse from his father about where i have been and what i have been doing. Please help with any advice on my situation at all. It is much appreciated.
My son is now on the old myself and his father separated about 6 weeks ago due to out of control arguments in the end his father raised his hand to me and has been out of control with his verbal anger for months now.
He has moved out and is sleeping on a friends sofa.
Me and his family never got on and they in the past have been rather nasty towards me and are involved with some very dodgy things.
I have been asking my boys father to come and see our son at my house on a regular basis that fits in around work and my other 2 children which aren’t his.
He has on numerous occasions has threatened to take my son and not bring him home. Hence me only allowing him to see our son at my house.
He is now saying he is taking me to court to arrange access even though I’m not denying him that.
I have no issues him taking me to court in order for things to be set out properly and regularly with certain rules as things are pretty volatile between us and he can’t have a conversation with me without losing his temper.
I don’t think he would ever harm our son that’s not my concern my concern is He won’t bring him home.
Where do I stand with this?
What do I do in the mean time?
He doesn’t want to co operate and see our son at my house or with any mutual friends.
Now I am on my own with 3 children and a full time job I need to set a routine for my children so my son sleeps properly.
He is currently going to bed at 9pm and his dad doesn’t finish work until 6 I have asking him if he would like to come over after work and bath feed and put our son together bed... this isn’t good enough for him...
He works 6 days a week as do I. I have tried and tried to make contact easy but he wants everything on his terms which is unrealistic as it doesn’t suit our sons wellbeing or routine and same with my other 2 children.
What do I do?
I am at a lose end as to what else to try.
While I am trying to do what I think is best for our daughter my husband has different views.
I have agreed that our daughter can go with him for tea dusting the week and sleep over with him at his parents house Thursday and a Friday andreturn her Home Saturday tea time. I came to this decision as I think she needs to sleep over convective days so she settles more. I don’t think it’s best for her to be sleeping out different nights of the week as he is suggesting he stays over the night he takes her for tea.
I don’t think as a 2 year old little girl it is best for her to be staying out during the week as well as the other 2 nights. She will be confused as to what is going on.
He is adimant he wants her this extra night during the week and wants to take me to court.
Its been a struggle looking after 3 daughters, 1 who is 17 has been sectioned for safety reasons (father does not want to know or understand, she has ADHD ); 1 is 18 and moving away. My youngest who is 15 has now decided she wants to live with her father and his girlfriend. Her fathers girlfriend is trying to claim I am a bad mother, and my ex husband is the victim. He has never had any interest in his children until he met with his new girlfriend 6 months ago. Only 2 months ago he left her stranded on the street at 2am in the morning as he couldn't cope.
I've spent my life a single parent looking after the children with little money or support. Now I'm at my wits end with the entire situation. My youngest has basically called me a failure and decided with my ex husbands girlfriend she would live with her at her house. She left yesterday screaming and shouting at me. My ex's girlfriends seems to think she can do what she wants. My daughter no longer wants contact with me. this is all very sudden. MY ex husband has paid no interest in our children; never provided financial support and basically didn't want to know. I've always allowed the girls to make their own choices to see their father. and always supported any visits.
Please can someone help or advise. I.m looking to counselling but I really am struggling with this entire situation.
I'm single mum of 3 not by my choice
My ex and dad to youngest two kids (3 & 1 yrs old) does wish to see the kids but only on his terms and conditions and if I refuse he refuses to collect the kids at all
He had kids 6 weekends then one week no access (Fri eve to Sunday eve) he won't commit to any set holidays and advised he will be removing kids from nursery for holidays as cannot have them during school holidays I wasn't to fussed on holiday aspect. I advised I was going to lawyer to draft up our agreement and this was fine until day after id seen lawyer he messaged me to say he will now only have kids 3 weekends then one off and if I Dont like it tough. I advised him to let lawyer know as should get letter in next few days and until we sort it all out properly we will continue with his access as it was so as not to upset the kids but he refused and hasn't seen the kids for three weeks now.
So yes men can push to see kids but where do I stand as mum on having an input to the agreement as it impacts my life my other child's life as well as my two kids I have with him.
He emailed lawyer to say he wants it reduced as he also has another child (13yrs) but his one bed flats too small for them all to stay at once so my kids never see their sibling as he will jit have all Tyree together. Is this a valid reason?
I've agree md via lawyer to reduce to 3 weekends out of 4 but with one midweek night added so give the kids stability and for him to be part of their education by doing nursery and school run. As well as statng access is still open until resolved. I'm awaiting a response.
If he is displaying and interest and wants kids would a judge rule on fair access in interest of kids or can my ex dictate that?
Me and my ex have a daughter together, she is 3. We split up when she was 1. Prior to splitting up I lived with my ex and my daughter. I took paternity leave when my daughter was born, she has my surname, I pay money to her directly through the CSA and I am also on the birth certificate. My ex is now making it very difficult for me to spend time with my daughter. Saying that I can only have access to see her round at her house, whilst she is in. She currently lives with her new partner and my daughter and I live with my new partner. One of the reasons I can’t have overnight access, or even access to take my daughter on days out is because the mother doesn’t want my new girlfriend seeing my daughter. My girlfriend has a child of her own and is perfectly fine to be around my daughter in my opinion. Can someone shed a bit of light on the situation as to my rights and what I can do to sort something out? As it’s really frustrating and I feel as though she holds all the cards as the residential parent and there is nothing I can do about it. Thanks :)
He works long hours and has always been very unreliable. I’ve taken care of the children since the day they were born and have also left my job in order to be at home for them.
He has told me he is planning on using his girlfriend and his family members to pick up the children and care for them at home until he gets home. Is this right? Should the children be with their mother over their dads girlfriend or family?
I’m so worried about court. I want him to play a huge part in the girls lives but not if he’s not even going to be there.
During their relationship, my brother in law also took on the roll as stepdad to his ex’s 2 children from a previous relationship. Which was very strained at times due to the behaviour of the eldest of the two.
It got so bad that his step son is under social services for beating his mum up plus my brother in laws ex is under the social services for not doing anything when the attendance became a cause for concern.
This relationship has broken down now as both children are on their mums side but my brother in law is so worried about his son being in the environment where his step brother usually smashes the family home up or raises his hand to his own mum if unable to get his own way. In fact, he is also extremely worried that he might get caught in the crossfire during one of his step brothers rages and get hurt.
Is there anyway the fact that my brother in laws ex is involved with social services and that her eldest is currently being monitored by social services be included in the application to the courts for contact. My brother in law is at his wits end and fears for his sons safety....
Split up with partner when baby was born,he was violent towards me previously then after baby was born. I have my concerns as he put baby in danger but says it was because of being upset.
He wont be on birth certificate but I have said he can still see baby with our family members. Father doesn't want any involvement unless he is on birth certificate.
Is this blackmail? Would he have equal rights if on birth certificate even though he has a history of violence?
What do I have to do in order of permission to move?
If I don’t put his name on the birth certificate could he gain any parental rights? How would I stop him taking this to court and keeping my baby in the right environment and growing up in a happy life?
He regularly books things on the weekends that he’s supposed to have his child so doesn’t end up having them.
He’s now threatening court as he wants more days with his child. I’ve been contacted by a mediator and expressed I wanted commitment from him for at least 3 months with him consistently having his child when he is supposed to, prior to making any changes. He has disagreed with this and proceeding with court. I’m just wondering where I stand in regards to this?
In the last 6months plus since finding out I have a new partner he has been as I would put it brainwashing my son into misbehaving at home being extremely rude and nasty and has told him to do this to get rid of my partner.
Every week (unless he lets him down) I dread him going as he comes back being so terrible.
I am really considering stopping him from seeing him as I believe in the long run the things he’s putting in his head will be extremely damaging.
Does anyone know where I would stand with stopping access? Thank you
The children have a different attitude towards me - especially our daughter and I'm beginning to feel pushed out and alienated from my children. My soon to be ex has been emotionally and mentally abusive to me in the past and I feel he is doing this to hurt me and get the children 'on his side' so they can choose to live with him and I will have to move out. He is adamant they should choose where they live. Any advise would be gratefully received.
My ex is demanding to see his son every other weekend which is not viable due to the distance and is not fair on our son.
I have offered longer periods in the school holidays which would more than make up for the less weekends.
Through out our relationship and since there has been emotional and verbal abuse.
My health has suffered and I need what is best for all of us. Help please
Since the split she's had thousands of pounds out of me in cash and threatened me on numerous occasions. I was going to work at 6am finishing at 3pm then getting my children from school everyday and then having to look after them on my own up until 8:30pm at night then expected to drop them off at her house. This has taken its toll on me. She's since had a baby with her new partner and is now claiming csa which is a big chunk of my wages. I'm not bothered about the csa payment what bothers me is when her maternity is over she is expecting me to go back to picking them up after work everyday feeding them and dropping them off. Because csa is based on how many nights they sleep and not hours of care I can't claim anything back. I'm not on a large wage and this will probably cripple me. It's not a case of not wanting it be with my kids it's a case of I can't physically and mentally cope with the pressure. Please advise.
I was in a domestic relationship, my son was born in 2014 and my sons father got put on the birth certificate, because I was peer pressured into it after his father beat someone up and it went though court, he got suspended sentence.
Up until my son was 10 weeks, it seemed as although he had changed - basically that my son had a good affect on him, he was proud etc.
I had my own place and we wasn't together because of previous DV, anyway my sister took poorly and my mum wanted me to visit her as her she deteriorated for the worst so I asked my sons father if he would watch his son, he come down and said he didn't wish to watch him, so I was worried for hours about my sister is she ok, I've let my mom down and because I ignored him while he was here and he assaulted me 2 hours later my sister passed away. I felt so heartbroken, didn't want to tell my family what happened to me. Because they had other things to deal with having just lost our older sibling I was so close to my sister she played a big part of my life i used to care for her because she needed a carer, i spoke to the police made statements etc.
And November the same month, I was at home with my son and my neice as she was living with me also due to personal circumstances, and my sons father come saying could he see his son, to which then I was the subject of an horrific attack (broken ribs) how much could someone endure in such a short period of time. I reported this to the police did statements he was charged with this and police had to pass it on to the social services because I was a high risk to domestic abuse and my son, i had an injunction put into place, his contact suspended for 9 months went to court and they didn't find him guilty. Supervised contact changed to normal contact, to which he then re come to mine and again infront of my son and neice in 2015 he ripped my clothes off my back took my underwear and bra off put marking on my wrists and neck and bruises on my body to which I rang into the police he stole my clothes and underwear make up most of my possessions, and still got away with this also, after this i still social care involved, who put my son onto a protection plan, had me go see counsellors for grieving over my sister, domestic violence and freedom and self esteem programmes, single point of access, mental health core groups and panel meetings, while poorly as well. I had alarms fitted and a phone that immediately went through to the police, he finally moved away to work away, did nothing to help what such behaviour he put upon myself and my sons life. And I did everything I had to even though me and my son was the victim a year later my son got took of the protection panel, had been clean for a year, my sons father let us down again but instead of the DV being on myself it was on my friend. Halloween night 2017 my sons father who I didn't know was around was stalking the streets to find me ended up finding me and dem
I left him two weeks ago because he raped me whilst I was asleep, but now refuses to admit it.
I'm scared to be around him as he is aggressive and volatile, and he's already threatened to take the child away once it's born.
I don't know what parental rights he would have, and I'd give up cs to protect the child.
Can anyone help me? I'm pretty terrified
Mediation takes place in front of a neutral third party. The mediator has no pre-conceptions and will not force you to make an agreement. They will assist the two parties in taking turns in the conversation, and helping you reach a decision that you are ready to agree with. Mediators do not pass judgment or offer guidance; they are there, in effect, to facilitate conversation between the two sides. Unfortunately, there is no other routes apart from negotiating the matter yourselves, negotiating via mediation and if mediation fails or your ex refuses to attend, you would have to apply to court. As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the child in question. The court will always put the child’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order.
Myself and my ex split when my son was18 months old and our original agreement was 3 days a week with me and 4 with his mother.
Since then this changes every week depending on her current mood towards me, if I have a girlfriend or am even speaking to a female she loses her cool with me and I tend to lose my cool in messages only.
I am now in a long term relationship and so is she, my issue is that every single week we are arguing about my time with my son as she claims Full PR when I do not believe she has this as I am on the birth certificate yet we were not married.
She cut my time to 2,2,3,2 format following a row after she turned up to my house 30 minutes earlier than agreed to drop off my son and I was not yet home as she had an appointment.
She is now dictating my life and my time with my son as she please while demanding more money and earlier payments.
I love my son and my time with him but she threatens to take him away to her Mums in cyrpus saying I have no rights and if I refuse payment she tells me to go court cause I wont be seeing my son.
I am completely stuck and unsure what to do, what rights I have and where to turn. I feel if I go to court that ill become an every other weekend Dad which I do not feel I deserve as my son means everything to me and he is unhappy when I have to take him home.
Any advice would be eternally appreciated.
Just looking for advice really
My son is now 3
Relationship ended when child was 1
Last contact he had with biological dad was 1 year and 4 months and when he gave him back he was circumcised without my permission.
And kept him for longer than he should on many occasions and refused to take him on weekends as he requested
Tried to get CSA from him but he said he weren’t the father and requested DNA test which I would have to pay for and didn’t have the money at the time.
So cancelled CSA and haven’t received a penny
Called constantly to try make arrangements outside courts he got a harassment form and restraining order on me not to contact him again.
As the police had called me I followed the advice and had not contacted him from that date
He got my new partner arrested for a false claims saying my partner gave him a phone call and said racists remarks to him and recorded a call and told the police it’s my partner, the police cleared my partner and said it was not him.
We left it.
Went to mediation to try get a child arrangement order.
He didn’t want anything to do with me or his child so they said I would need to take him to court again I didn’t have the money for this at the time so left it.
He has made no effort to contact us until recently I received a letter in the post a Birthday card for my sons 3rd Birthday
He knows where I live but I know nothing about his whereabouts and where he lives
Can I do anything to make him leave us alone?
He is on the birth certificate and I just want nothing to do with him
Can I take any legal action to make this happen?
Another county where he'd been working the whole of their child's life and had only seen their child for a few weeks in her 8 year old life. He has now moved near her bringing his other family with him and he's now wanting to take my granddaughter to his home to meet his other family, my daughter has allowed him to see his daughter at her house and will not allow him to take her back to his house, she's happy for him to see his daughter so long as he doesn't take her from the house. He has on one previous occasion been hung over and my granddaughter had to phone her other granny to come to get her as she was in such a state, thinking that he was dead. If she within her rights to only allow supervised access.
Can anyone shed light on where i stand. My daughter is 10 from a previous relationship. We have been split up 9 years. In June she split with her partner and has been in a refuge since (no voilence was involved in either mother or childen) i have kept regular contact but rather than every weekend i had to change to every 2 weeks as its 5 hours there and 5 hours back due to not driving.
It wasnt fair on my daughter traveling so much. I also called her every day to see how she was. My daughter has said she wants to live with me and my wife if her mom decides to stay in her current area. She also told her mom she wants to be with us at christmas.
I recently had words with her mom about her trying to tell my daughter to lie to me. Since then she has changed her number and cut my contact telling me i can see my daughter every 2nd weekend and call her twice a week between 6-7.
I have parental responsibility and im on the birth certificate which i have a copy of. I am cosidering keeping with me and not sending her back to a refuge when i have her next but dont know what to do? Any advice would be great.
Thank you in advance
The children have been placed with my brothers ex partners great grandparents and we have been told that they will remain living there for a year, as their mother has been given a year to turn her life around.
My brother is in jail on domestic abuse charges.
What I am confused about is that ‘we as the fathers family members’ have been told that we are not aloud contact with the children. Is this right? We don’t understand why we should be punished for my brothers wrong doing. We have been kept in the dark throughout it all, were not contacted in regards to offering kinship, were just not contacted by anyone. When we contacted child services to query kinship we were told it was too late, disbite the children not even been removed at this time from the parents care. This is all very confusing, we are totally in the dark. According to my brother ‘the final hearing’ is in two weeks time, yet we don’t even understand what that exactly means even. Surely if our family are spoken of, and are prevented from seeing the children, we should be aloud to be there and contest this?
I’m desperate and in need of help with regards to my daughter. I and the farther of my daughter are divorced but not officially yet as we are awaiting for the court order. We are both Bulgarian citizens with permanent residency in the uk for over 8 years. Our daughter is a British citizen with a British passport. About 5/6 months ago, we came to Bulgaria for holiday, however, after a serious conflict we got separated. And now, the farther does not agree and let our daughter to go back to the UK. I’m absolutely desperate because my daughter is only 1 year old and has missed 4 vaccinations. I have lost my job. I had to register my daughter to a GP here in Bulgaria so that she can be immunised but the doctor says that the different manufacturers of vaccinations have different doses, and some of them are hard maybe even not possible to be found in Bulgaria. The farther is trying to do everything possible so that we cannot return to the UK, to that extend that he has arranged one of the vaccinations and apparently found the right one from the right manufacturer (which I really cannot trust). The rest of the vaccinations are not given in Bulgaria at all, according to the doctor. However, the farther is saying that he will find them. Now, my questions is: having in mind that the court assigns the parental rights to me and that my daughter is a British citizen, do I have the right to want to live in the UK or at least freely and regularly come to visit it? Of course I will let the farther see his daughter as much as the court decides. I do not think the border police has the rights to stop me as they have done so once when I tried to return to the UK. My daughter has entered Bulgaria as a British citizen and would exit it as such. I cannot get any help here in Bulgaria at the moment. Can I do something from the UK in order to return for the vaccinations at least. I’m very concerned about my daughter health. I really hope you can help.
My question is... am I wrong in wanting details of where he’s living before I allow my son (age1) to go for sleepovers again. Contact hasn’t really been an issue between us and we normally get on brilliant but I feel very strongly on this.
Kind regards
He is ignoring all my messages and messaging my child basically apologising to her and saying I’m stopping him seeing them and saying he is going to pick her up from school. With no contact telling me about it. He does has pr as on the birth certificate.
Also he himself and had friends around his and my children that smoke cannabis. He has also stopped paying for them even though he hasn give me the correct amount for months.
Am I within my rights to stop him seeing my children. I have a gut feeling him and his mom may take me to court.
My name is on the birth certificate, so I am a PR and fully responsible parent. he prefers his days with me and cries his eyes out when ever he goes back to his mum.
I just want to see my son more!
My partner & I registered our 26 day old daughter under his surname & not mine at the registrar.
My mum is saying that if he wants to run away with the baby he can as he’s the only one on the birth Certificate & my surname is not on the Certificate.
Please is what my mum is saying true? & can I add my surname to the birth certificate?
Thank you.
My ex husband is threatening to take my children out of school and keep them.... he is their dad. Can I do anything about this?
Private proceedings began
In Aug 2014 judge urged that unless I was assessed as capable of caring for our daughter, she should go into care.
In Sept 2014 my wife returned to the family home with our daughter.
In Jan 2015 my wife left with our daughter and lived in refuges for nine months, then moved into her grandparents home
In Nov 2015 I was asked by my wife to have our daughter live with me full time because she couldn't cope, I agreed.
Jun 2016 residency order for our daughter granted in my favour.
Oct 2016 contact final order granted.
Nov 2016 my wife wanted to make a go of things. I agreed to us making a go of it but not to my wife moving back in with us until we had marriage counceling and Social Services agreed.
Jan 2017 wife moved into a rehab to get help with alcohol dependence. Two weeks later informed me that she was pregnant.
Since Jan my wife has been denied unsupervised contact with our daughter due to her admitting to emotionally and psychologically abusing our daughter, failed to turn up to contact with our daughter.
Continued to ask if she can come home, petitioned for divorce, cancelled the divorce and then repetitioned. Our baby is subject to a child protection plan. Our baby is due in 10 days and my wife and baby will be homeless.
I've been asked by social worker if I would be willing to have our baby live with me and our daughter.
My response was that I believe our baby will be at risk of significant harm if he doesn't come to live with me.
Social services have decided that baby should live with my wife at her grandparents until she gets herself sorted and if I want to have contact or residency I should get a lawyer.
I don't understand why our baby can't be placed in my care from birth, I have everything ready and I'm more than willing!
My baby's father and I broke up when I was less than three months pregnant due to a mental condition that has which causes him to hurt himself or break things when he is angry or frustrated. He admitted to me that he new about his condition before but he was afraid to tell me. Then he refused to get treatment and I decided that this situation wouldn't be safe for me or my baby. He now says he doesn't have any mental problem. But other work colleagues have witnessed his behaviour before so I have them as witnesses. During pregnancy I was fairly afraid of him so I didn't want him at medical exams because I felt it was a breach of my privacy, he never asked me if I was ok or even checked when was the baby due for the last 3months of my pregnancy and when the baby was born he only found out after 3days when I was already at home and only CE to see the baby after a week. We have a written agreement that allows him to see the baby a couple of times a week if he follows all the rules which he signed and he agreed to pay a small amount every month for the baby. He isn't on the birth certificate though. I am a bit worried now because he has started to be a bit menacing and saying he wants to have the same time with the baby that I get but I don't trust him. Can he take my baby away from me?
My son hasn't seen his biological father in 5 years, and doesn't want to either. Is there anyway that I can get sole custody of my son without having to go through all the drama with his father.
My son feels scared of him, and I'm trying my hardest to do as my son wishes
Thanks
And in that time he could of seen our child with a third person there but he refused to do that .
after the court order was up he has been demanding to see our child and threatening to take her when she is at school. I haven't see he can't see her just that it should be at a contact centre. please what can I do to protect my daughter. What right do her farther have to take her
His current visitation is split over weekends and weekdays, based on his work rota. Obviously me moving will affect this as he will no longer be able to have her on the weekdays.
I believe he would try and stop the move at any cost but this move is something I have been looking into for a year, as the house is up for sale I cannot afford to live in Manchester for rented anymore and my support system is up there.
Can anyone advise?
Thanks
In the last year a lot has come out about her ex and the horrible part he played. In my sons life. This is now an ongoing court case.
Anyway, inter last year since it all came out, she has been failing as a mother! She neglects him, never sees him, is forever pinning him on family and friends so she can go out drinking etc.
My poor son is miserable. I have spent 12 months trying to make her realise she needs to step up! In Feb2017 she continued to make my life hell for me and my partner and a harassment order was put in place by the police so she can no longer contact us directly.
This month (August 2017) was the final straw, as I found out via social media she had kicked my son on to the sofa out of his bedroom and redecorated it without him knowing so her friend come fly back from Cyprus to live in his room for a few months!
This also came after finding out she had breached her Social services agreement of not being allowed to introduce him to a new partner. She tried to introduce him to a new man last week but he refused!
I have now taken my son off her and I am refusing to give him back.
He is not safe or well looked after in her care.
He willingingly wants to live with myself my partner and her 6 year old daughter. And has even told him mother this.
I have PR as I am on his birth certificate.
My question is WHAT DO I DO NEXT!? How do I legally stop her taking him? And how do I get an agreement for him to live her? (I don't think she will be happy about this)
I have been shoved to different options and have no idea what I need to do. I'm afraid she will take him if she ever sees him and at family houses whilst I work and il lose him as I know 100% she will keep him from me and my family if she gets him. Despite him not wanting to go back.. he also is contemplating moving schools to be nearer our home as school run won't be easy with 2 kids going to school in different towns. Again she won't be happy.
I need to know what to do next, without it costing me a fortune.. I am self employed and won't be issued legal aid. I'm in desperate need of advice and help!?
Thank you
She's now says that she wants to move to Scotland because she wants the support of her mum and dad and has taken the children up there for the first part of the school holidays. It was always the plan for her to go to Scotland for a fortnight at the beginning of the holidays, but for the children (and possibly her) to come back down to spend my leave with me and my parents before beginning school again in September (in Devon). She now intends to stay there (i.e not come back and start the kids in a new school and education system whilst living at her parents).
She has not properly consulted me on this and knows that this is very much against my wishes due the detrimental effect it will have on their education/stability and the difficulty in fair access for me (they live in the highlands near Inverness) yet still intends to go ahead with it. I am not an abusive or adulterous husband and have emotionally and financially provided for my family and am an extremely involved dad, taking my kids swimming, cycling, rock climbing etc every weekend yet I now feel that I am talking to a stranger on the phone. I am also unhappy with the concept of my children living at her parents; her older 'stay-at-home' brother has been physically violent towards my in laws over the years and my mother-in-law routinely leaves the father-in-law as part of one mid-life crisis or another.
Do I have any rights (I know about PR and new law since 2012) that can make her return the children to the status quo until we have at least come to a Family Court abitrated decision?
Also, my wife is now saying that she won't even let me see them for summer leave unless she is sure I'll give them back to her up in Scotland. i.e I can't see the unless I agree to her terms.
Is this even legal? We had previously agreed that I was going to have the children for 3 weeks leave them my parents for the last week of the holiday. Can she literally block access to them if I don't let her relocate?
My son is so bad behaved for me and just wants to see his dad more. He breaks things and kicks holes in walls and doors when at home. He's brilliant at school or at his dads so can't understand why he is the way he is with me.
I have literally begged my ex to share the care of our son but he's refused
How can I make him see it's what our little boy needs and wants?
He's refusing to go to mediation and will never agree to having him on days that I require help/care etc
He's had 4 holidays this year so far with his new partner and says he can only see our son 3 times during the 7 weeks school summer holidays due to working all his days off.
Why do I feel like I have to beg him to have a relationship with his son?
He has 2 other children he fought through the courts to see to no avail yet he's refusing to be amicable with me who's doing everything in my power to instigate a relationship between them both.
I need some guidance
Please help
my daughter is now 17, 18 soon and hes suddenly made contact demanding to see her. saying her is her dad etc.
I have been married for 11 years now and my daughters name has been changed legally to my married name, we are in the process of adoption this is what my daughter wants.
I have told her he has been in contact and she isnt interested as far as she is concerned my husband is her dad and has called him dad for a long time.
I have received no financial support from the ex and he has no PR as we were not married and she was born before 2003.
Can he actually do anything?
My step son is autistic and now 13 years, but high functioning. My wife and her ex husband have tried to maintain communication, but at various stages it has broken down. To the point where 4 years ago they had mediation and things settled down for a time.
Just recently my step son's father has been asking for more contact and threatening court. He has stopped all meetings that we had to discuss my step son's progress and upbringing - his reason being 'I am not getting what I want so there is no point.'.
The only contact we seem to get is when he wants something. Recently he asked for his son's passport information to take him abroad, my wife and I were concerned and asked that he met us to discuss his plans, this was refused.
He wants to see him more and has told his son that we are stopping him from seeing him and denying him opportunites for holidays, which upsets my step son enormously. We have tried to explain this sort of conversation should be had with us in mediation, but the response we get is that his son needs to know this. It has gotten to the point where my step son is returning to us visibly upset and has been lectured for an hour on all the things my wife and I have done wrong and the reasons why his father is now forced into taking us to court.
We have been threatened with court 5 or 6 times in the last 8 months. We are not sure the best way forward, we have had an initial mediation appointment and invited my wife's ex husband, but he declined attending. He has also told us we are not allowed to go to his door to drop his son off or pick up, even when his son was ill.
It almost seems like emotional abuse of his son. We are unsure of the next steps to take. We sought legal advice recently and the solicitor said wait until you get a letter from his solicitor, which never came.
But we are now getting more concerned about my wife's son is becoming quite withdrawn and has said he is depressed and would like to talk to a counsellor.
Are we within our rights to withdraw access from his father if we feel his input is harmful or what are our other options?
My ex has a history of alcohol and drug abuse which ultimately led to the demise of our relationship as I did not want this around my daughter and regardless of how many times I begged him to get help for her sake he never did.
He's got himself together a lot more and has regular contact with our daughter having her every other weekend but under the agreement that as he lives with him mother than she is also there to supervise although this has got lapse recently as he seems to be a lot more responsible.
He's been constantly verbally abusive towards me even now and I've had to get police involved and stopped contact with him completely with all communication going through our mothers. He has still been telling my daughter things that she has repeated that are not appropriate such as comments about my new partner however I have no proof of his drug use but am very concerned as his mother is going away for 2weeks so he will be having our daughter unsupervised for a weekend and I do not feel comfortable that our daughter will be safe. He has agreed that he won't drink when he is taking care of her and I've stressed this as a condition of contact (through a solicitors letter) but I'm unsure where I stand and if I can rearrange/stop him from seeing her when his mother isn't there to supervise.
My son is 10 in October and he hates going to his dads. I make him go every other weekend which us agreed through the courts. What age can i stop forcing my son going to his dads.
Army welfare suggested domestic abuse charges and also that I attend women's aid group, I haven't done either yet.
My ex very rarely makes time to see his children, instead wants only to FaceTime everyday. If I don't answer (regardless of any legitimate reason) I get Instant abuse.
When he has seen them (11 nights in almost a year) it's been as a result of me begging him to help me and I have to take the children the 60miles on the pretence he will bring them home afterwards. This is when I get I get told if I don't drop everything and collect them then he will send them to his mothers, along with the disgusting abusive texts/threats/phone calls.
On this last occasion he was screaming abuse at me over the phone from a busy train station where he was along with both the children. It's gotten to the stage where I no longer trust that he can keep his temper around them.
Legally (and it's taken a long time to reach this stage) I want him to have nothing to do with either me or the children as I fear for not only safety but the mental state of this relationship continues.
Where do I stand!?
want allowed me to take my daughter in holiday
at the beginning i yell her that I totally understand ,because the baby was to little as she was only 4 now is been 7 year that am begin and ask to allowed me to let me take the baby to the sea or world Disney, or let me take my baby in my family in Italy, and she always invented new excuse to don't let me take the baby
From day one his partner told us that social services had said he couldn't have contact with the children so we waited then a month later she passed a message through her father and myself that he could see his eldest with both of us (grandparents) in attendance which we did two weeks later (last weekend ) he was told he could see both children this time we went to the location and waited a short time later they arrived with both her parents in attendance they both stayed for the hole time.
We now have spoken to social services and they tell us that they never put any restrictions in place and as far as they are concerned my so can see the children when he wants without supervision.
We now find out that they are away on the bank hol weekend on a camping holiday followed by a trip to Poland which they haven't told us about.
So looks like he won't see them again for at least 2 weekends
They both have p r as my son is on both birth certificates I would like to know
1 can he stop them from going abroad
2 can the access to children be set out with set days each week
3 how would we check or know if any residence orders are in place
Thanks very much
I fled their father's abuse and moved to a different state and he is threatening me with court to get on our child's birth certificate. We came to a sort of agreement that he can be on the certificate but now I believe he may be doing it to just take my baby away and not treat her well or see to it that her needs are fully met. He does not send help for her and hasn't sent any form of support since I have been away other than $100.
I do not believe he has good intentions or even a healthy level of concern for raising my children with care at all as he has a drinking problem, frequently smokes weed and occasionally does other drugs, and neglected financial responsibility of our daughter constantly when I lived with him.
I left and I told him I would need a month to just clear my head but I changed my mind about returning for a relationship when he was just nothing but abusive to my character... I don't think staying for the kids is healthy when a partner only brings the other down and they just become a sad shell of a human being. I didnt want that and I didnt want my children watching me go through that.
Before I decided leaving was necessary, he crashed his car while drunk, arguing with me while two of his children were in the back seat (one of them my 1 year old) he then said he would kick me and my daughter out with none of our things at that time and it was 11:00PM and I had nowhere to go in a totally different state from my family.
He endangered us both and I just dont believe he is safe to be close to, not just for me... I dont want to give him the right to be on my child's birth certificate and I would rather have someone supervise him in his care for my children if we do work out an agreement because I dont believe he has good judgement and while I want my kids near their father, I dont want him being granted the same rights as myself as well and suddenly taking my baby away from me and keeping her for only himself just because he in his twisted ideas thinks I was wrong for leaving him when he was clearly being abusive and not willing to do things differently, drinking every single night and not seeking to be a healthy man around his child. What is the best course of action for me right now?
My wife (seperated still married) had one child when we met i took her on as my own pay maintenence for her and my other two children (with my wife) and have access to all 3.
My question is do i have any rights to the daughter that isnt mine. Her father isn't really in her kife. my findings kind of indicate that our marrige gives me some PR as we were obviously married after she was born.
Secondly she is wanting to introduce a man she has known around 2 months and met approximately 5 times to our children. This man apparantly has a bad drug habbit and past. Is vilolent towards women and has a history of coming in and out of lives of partners with children the most recent was the end of febuary.
What rights do i have to my step daughter and what rights do i have in regards to this man being near all 3 of my children
Where do I stand legally as he is now turning up to my house with gifts for my son and it is really upsetting his. This is upsetting me also and just causing hurt around. Please advise.
A) the other way around where the mother is blackmailing the father, saying if he doesn't pay what she wants (a large sum of money), he won't get to see his child anymore. There are no legal agreements at the moment
B) mother is English, father Dutch, child both nationalities and all living in Spain.
:/
Can you clarify please?
Thank you.
Thank you
Many thanks.
She has stopped all access to my 2 kids, blocked all my family so there's no contact at all.
I've never done anything to harm my children, never raised my hand to her.
She is controlling me still and denying everything. I become unemployed with the circumstances and the first thing she did was arrange CSA when I've not a problem regarding paying for my kids.
She's threatening if I come around she'll call the police and action court services.
I'm blown away and don't want courts or CSA involved. I don't know what to do, she was possessive during it all and seems she still is.
Help
I'm take children to my house for weekend every Christmas birthday etc
My ex wife clams benefits like a single parent but from 3 years living with new partner (he work) Her partner growing marijuana in house about 50-60 trees??
I don't now what I suppose to do with this I'm Scarry what happen with my children r4 and 6 years old when some day police coming to her house.
I have new partner we both full time workin
We living in 3 bed house and we think take kids to us. if that possible in the UK ????
Can anyone help me what to do ??????
My ex is in n out of my daughters life (shes 5 month) it seems to be when it suits him .but then turns it around as though its my fault that hes not rang to make arrangements or even dont turn up !!! . I havent stopped access at all but because hes not seen her in 4 week (ive told him he can ave access on sundays after dinner till tea . He was avin her for an hour on a tues after work n sun for an hour berring in mind his house is 15 mins drive away there n back so hes only having her for half hour . And sometimes he wouldnt turn up so i said for a sunday so that hopefully he will turn up if its 1 day a week !!!! But because he doesnt want me telling him when he can n can not see our daughter hes gone to a solicitor . He didnt make arrangements last weekend coz apparantly he couldnt get hold of me but got hold of me mon !!!! Weekend before i rang him because i hadnt heard off him to see if he was comin for her and he said theres no point because hes got a solicitor involved . He messaged me yesterday because he wants access this weekend !!! Should i let him ave our daughter ?? Even thou hes been seein a solicitor because in his eyes im not lettin him ave access i dont know wat to do for the best . Should i leave it to the solicitors and wait till i get a letter or would it be best for me to let him ave her
My child is 5 years old and has never had an relationship with her farther (his choice since pregnancy).
We were never married and his not on the birth certificate.
I have claimed Child Support via the government CSA and he never contested being father. I have since cancelled this because I'm concerned it might give him some legal PR and it was only a very small sum of money.
Q1. Was i right to be concerned? Does paying CSA give him some PR?
My child also does modelling and tv ad's etc. I have created ISA and saving accounts.
Q1. Can he (childs father) ever contest my child doing, am I legally required to get his concent for work?
Q2. Would he ever get access to her accounts and money?
Q3. Is there anything legal I can do to ensure he has no legal standing with my childs life including if something was to happen to me (I die).
Long story short my 14 year old is violent and self harmer with overdoes regularly. A run away, theft etc.
My ex and I decided to put her under a section 20 to protect her as I couldn't with other young babies who she had threatened to "disappear".
Social services have been great my daughter has to engage with her issues before they will work with her coming home.
This week she bolted again to a friends we don't know. Social worker wants her back at placement but Dad has agreed she can stay at this unknown person. Social worker checked out address not known to social services but my daughter is using it to avoid everything agreed in the lac review.
I have residency so can I force her back into care that social worker and I want as she needs to be safe or does Dad's PR stop us doing this under a section 20. I don't want to put her under a care order as we are trying to get her to work through things.
My husband has PR as we were married upon conception, and he's on the childs birth certificate. However, we split a couple of years ago, he lives overseas, and hasn't seen our child for a year and a half. He stopped making contact 6 months ago, and around the same time stopped paying child support. He is self employed and doesn't pay tax like he should, so there is no way of me being able to succesfully get any support from him financially. My worry is something happening to me. Would my child be forced to live overseas with him should i pass away? My child is 3, so has no real memory of their dad. Moving overseas away from my family whom he is close to would be absolutely devastating for him. Im just wondering if my ex would still have PR, even though he hasn't made contact in such a long time.
Thanks for your advice
my ex wife then stopped me seeing my children and hasnt let me see them, i applied for mediation at which point she accused me of rape to the police so that she didnt have to attend, i was arrested and placed under caution, she has now withdrawn the allegation, admitted to friends and her family she lied, however she will still not allow me to see my children, im applying for a court order to grant me the same arrangement as before or custody, but as your notes under the heading 'domestic abuse' i know she will just say about the rape again as she knows it will stop me getting this.. what rights do i have here or will i always lose because she can just keep lying??
However for a long time now she has being unhappy at home she doesn't get to act like a child as she has a younger sister and brother . She has to take care of her brother while her mam is upstairs I am also aware that on the odd occasion she has left my daughter to baby sit the other 2 while she goes to what whatever. There has also been the occasion that her mother has threatened to "take her face of" if she doesn't do what her mam wants. She is left to look after her younger siblings while her mother goes up stairs to have a "joint Her attendance at school has dropped below 90% now so the local authority will be getting involved as her education is getting affected. I have her everywhere end up come the Sunday night when it's time for her to go home she breaks down and begs me not to take her and that she wants to live with myself. I would have her at mine in a heart beat if I could I work for a living and I have a great supportive family who all share the same views as me that I fear my daughter could be in some danger if this continues. I have PR and I am tempted to just not take her back on Sunday night and let it all come to a head at once and deal with it the best I can. But I know what will put my daughter in a position that I know will not be nice for her but I know that it needs doing otherwise it's going to get worse as she gets older. I know this sounds like I am all against her mam but I'm not my daughter is a amazing kind polite little girl her mam has done a great job bringing her up but now that she is older she is becoming aware of what is not right and it has gone on for to long now. She needs stability and to go back to being able to act like a little girl again
My son has been in my care since he was born. I gave my sons father visitation without this being backed by a court order.
After an arranged visit he has decided that my son would be better left in his care.
After contact with the police, as father has PI and no issue of his safety he has not been returned.
This is the longest my son has been away from me and is currently on medication also.
What is the quickest way I can get my son back into my care,
Mediation takes place in front of a neutral third party. The mediator has no pre-conceptions and will not force you to make an agreement. They will assist the two parties in taking turns in the conversation, and helping you reach a decision you are ready to agree with. Mediators do not pass judgment or offer guidance; they are there, in effect, to facilitate conversation between the two sides. However, you have to take part in mediation with an open mind and a willingness to compromise. If mediation fails, or if you refuse to attend, then your children's father can take the court option. If so, the court will make a decision based upon what 'it' thinks is in your children's best interests and once ordered by the court, you would have to adhere to it. Trying to negotiate between you is always the best option - but you certainly don't have to put your child in situation you feel uncomfortable with.
My ex now wants both our children to stop over night baring in mind my youngest is only just over 5 months old and he barely knows or sees her, due to the fact he likes to take my eldest out on his weekends. I feel slightly uncomfortable allowing them to stop over night when they already have 4 children in their house as they will not have a bedroom for them.
I have spent months battling with my eldest to get her into her own bed and room at night as she was always in my bed with me, i have finally succeeded and now feel any disruption could ruin her bed time routine.
Can you please let me know if i have any rights or whether i have to let the children stop with him or not.
have been separated from my wife for 11 months now and she has just filed for divorce, thats fine was our marriage has broke down. she moved into my house with her young daughter of five and rented hers out. upon separation 11 months ago she and her daughter moved back to her own house and I stayed here in mine.
Our marriage only lasted 9 months unfortunately, my question is, will I have to pay support to my ex-wife and child upon divorce? the child see's her natural farther regularly and he pays some maintenance, I have no contact with my my (ex)wife's daughter any longer, as my wife doesn't think its appropriate, she is probably right.
Any advice would be appreciated as I am struggling with interpreting the forms I have been sent.
Thanks G
I have a 5 year old daughter, her mother and myself were not married, split up when she was 18 months old. she was born in 2011. My name is on the birth certificate and my daughter has my last name. I do not pay child maintenance through CSA, when we split up we downloaded an agreement from CSA website and signed it saying that as we share custody 50% then we would split in half all costs related to little one, nursery, health and education.
This has been the case since split in March 13.
I have paid £600 a month in nursery till Sept 16 when she enrolled in reception year. we split all costs, school uniform, breakfast club, after school club etc.
My daughter has her own bedroom at my house, her toys, her clothes, everything. I'm a very involved dad, I have regularly during the week (2 or 3 days) pick and drop from school etc, I also have her every other weekend, i take her on holidays abroad 3 weeks every year.
My ex got married in 2014 and has a child who is 1 year old.
Today my daughter, when I got her from school, told me her stepdad told her she would be living in a new house, where he is from, 100 miles away from me and she burst into tears.
Sorry for so much info but wanted to be accurate. Can my ex take my daughter away from me? such a distance I can never be the father I want to be, I cannot keep doing what I do and be involved in her life the way I have always been. thank you in advance for reading and for any advice.
I can see my daughter is being brainwashed by this man and notice that the more time she spends with him the more she resents me and has a nasty bitterness towards me. I have tried to discipline my daughter and stay fair but I find myself in a constant battle with her. She believes lies he has told her about me and when she does come home she isolates herself. As he is not consistent in her life when she doesn't see him for a few weeks at a time our relationship seems to work, she accepts what I say and although a small amount of attitude is given from her I acknowledge that she is a teenager and her hormones are all over the place.
Please give me some advice as to how I can help my daughter see that monsters sometimes come in the form of people you think you are close to.
I have recently got a job after 2 yrs unemployed and I have to work weekends, my ex refuses to help me out and has told me to get a new job where I don't have to work the week ends and will not mind her for me so I have had no other option but to let my shifts down on a weekend so I'm letting my employer down which is jeopardising my job.
I spoke to him and said the arrangement wasn't working and will he have her the weekends as he works Monday to Friday, he has blankly refused any type of negotiation and said he will not be a weekend dad.
He shares his life now with his new partner and their new baby and my daughter is telling me that she spends her time ( when at his ) in her room on her Xbox!!!! He has told me he will take me to court so he gets the days that we have always had...can he do this, where do I stand on this??
Also my ex turns up late all the time, drops him back late, is rude to me in front of my son, he has booked a holiday away missing two access days without discussing it with me! I just feel very taken advantage of and he is very nasty n manipulative, I just need it nailed down,what can i do?
His father is on his birth certificate and we have never been married but iv read that any births registered before december 2003 the father does not have parental rights.
My sons school now wont take him of there contact list as i did put him down as a emergency contact if they could not reach me and listed him as father... and they are now telling me against my wishes they are willing to share all my sons information with him when he calls the school because of this.
He only calls them to complain about me.
They are telling me they want a legal letter stating he has no parental rights.
Do i need to this this when its everywhere iv looked over the internet.
I have signed no agreement to him having rights and nothing has gone through courts.
Can you please help me
Thank you
In recent months we lost 2 of my daughters much loved grandparents in the space of 6 weeks. She has had a very stressful year and is now sitting here final exams.
Having received school reports, my daughter is now getting very negative feedback from her father family which causing more stress for her. She hasn't had a bad school year but obviously not as good as usual.
Although she has nearly finished her school years, she is wanting to stay on but she has told me that she doesn't want her father to receive anymore reports.
Can I put a stop to school sending him any updates or reports ?
DeCoy - 21-Feb-17 @ 6:49 PM
up until almost two weeks ago i gad regular contact with my son, two days a week after work and every second weekend.
this all changed after a diagnosis from the doctor saying he was allergic to cats and dogs, she immediaelty tried to stop him coming to mine because of the cat however she said he was perfectly fine to be around her dog although after having to contact the doctors myself i was one was no worse than the other
anyway what started off as a petty argument in her part has spiralled, after i returned my son to her after my weekend i got a call on the monday evening from him on loudspeaker telling me he didnt want to come up anymore because the cats are there, that was the last i heard from him, i know that it is her and her mother who are influencing the situation as my ex now wants me to go up and speak to my son in front of her as there is now other reasons, i have so far refused on the basis that i dont not want to put my son on a pedestal like that and the second i say something my ex doesnt like it will result in her starting on me again which i dont want my son to see.
i have tried a charity who deal with this and they said if i could prove its happening which is very easy as i only txt my ex to show whats getting said it could be classed as emotional abuse and to speak to social work
i went to social work and they washed their hands of me, their answer was it wasnt something they woukd really deal with as the child isnt in any physical danger and because my ex and her father were supposed to have entered statements to court in order to satisfy the divorce about my access times etc and that there was no problems it is a dispute as far as they are conncerned and needs to go to court with my solicitor charging £300ph
i have genuine concerns is i expect this to go on for months and with no access to my son i fear that by the time i do see him his mind will completely abused and or misled by said parties
do you know anyone whom i could turn to short term than can review my sons welfare and that it isnt happening
any advice greatly appreciated at this stage
ex's mother was very controlling and burried me. my ex never stopped her and now he behaves just like his mother.
they, especially she, annoyed cos me and my son moved out from the town where we used to live and they are living. she sent her partner to persuade me to remain in town.
we didn't discuss to send him to independent school or not, he just handed me the form and threatens me as if i don't sign it and he will send it to the court.
we've got residencial court order and the one for our divorce.
do i have to sign the form? don't i have right to say no?
please advise.
I've been apart from my ex since my son was 3 months old, who is now soon to be 5 years old. The relationship was abusive and on one incident was documented by my doctor.
Anyway, since we have been apart there's been a lot of solicitor involvement pushed by myself to organise safe contact for my son to see his dad. Due to his dad's weed addiction, excessive drinking problems and very immature attitude towards his responsibilities as a father. Protecting my son has always been my main priority, almost 5 years later and it hasn't really improved. My son will see his dad every second weekend at his grandmothers house where it is supervised by her.
I made the decision a long time ago to move when the time was right, from Scotland to England. Due to all my family being there and I always wanted my son to go to a great school and to have all the opportunities at his door. So my plan is for him to start p1 down south, but the dad has decided to now blame me for having no relationship with his son and wants to stop us from going! Can he do this as he is on my sons birth certificate? I'm aware if it was to be Australia like I read above then there are orders to apply for but if it's still within the UK can he stop us from going ?
I would be happy to make legal arrangements for me to bring my son back to Scotland during holidays ect and open for visits to where we will move. Can someone shed some light on this please. Thank you.
Its small issues but there are lots of them such as their mother hardly ever has them, if we havent got them they are at their nannas, one of the children has had nits for 3 weeks, (Ive checked his hair each weekend when hes with us but it isnt getting re-checked in the week) they never have their hairs/nails cut or have a bath, they never get a home cooked meal for tea they have a sandwich or pub food and this week one of them has come to us with a bad ear infection but she doesnt seem to be interested in getting her checked over. I have 2 children myself and wouldnt raise my children like this. It is upsetting my partner knowing he sends his children home each sunday to not be looked after until they come back to us the following friday. Is there anything he can do?? Hes tried lots of times to speak to her but unfortunately it makes no difference.
Go to jail than let him have my baby without supervision HELP
My son is 5 years old, his dad and I split when he was a few months old. (It wasn't a good relationship and in the build up to us separating he threw a phone at me whilst holding the baby and raised his hand to me on several occasions.)
When my son turned 2 (after me facilitating contact every other weekend, providing everything my son needed whilst he was there as he couldn't afford anything, accepting his excuses as to why he couldn't pay csa) he told me that on his last visit to his Dad, he had hit him round the head because he was naughty (he still maintains this to this day and brings it up of his own accord) the day after he told me this, my ex came under police investigation for abusing his niece.
I was told by the police and social services to only allow supervised contact, which I duly did. He wasn't pleased by this and refused to see him unless it was on his terms. I sought contact through a contact centre after he refused my offer of either coming to my house or me going there with my son. I took my son for his introductory visit and was then told by the centre that my ex hadn't responded to them to arrange the first visit and they couldn't get hold of him - a fact that he disputes but which I have in writing from the centre.
Even through all of this I tried to keep him involved, invited him to school open days when we were choosing a school (not that he turned up) and offering to meet him at parks or play places, I have all of the scripts from the messages to show this.
He hasn't seen him for 2 and a half years and I have had no contact nor csa from him in this period.
My husband and I have now moved 250 miles away as we both got better jobs, a better house and have my son in a lovely school (his last one was a 'requires improvement' that we didn't choose due to oversubscription)
I have been in touch with my exes mom and also taken my son to see her and she is coming for a holiday with us next year, she has no idea where her son is and neither does his other children's mom.
I have subsequently found him on Facebook and don't know if I should tell him we've moved - he chose not to see him, I have made every possible effort given the circumstances and I am worried that he can take out lovely new life away from us. My son is so happy and is a different child since we've moved and I don't want my ex to take that away from him, given that he has not shown any interest for over half of my sons life. What do I do?! I would really appreciate a response to this to point me in the right direction.
Many thanks
Even though I see my son weekly I have still not been granted any overnight access as my ex partner controls every situation.
I am constantly waiting on her to allow me to go round of an evening but she frequently cancels stating work issues even though I know she is home at the usual time as she isn't the smartest liar in the world and is quiet easy to catch out.
She doesn't seem to understand the shared responsibility parents have and believes it lies with her and her only and I'm basically a bit part player .
I am at my wits end and frankly do not no where to turn. She seems to think I am not entitled to proper shared access but she is quiet happy to take £450 per month off me for my son to go to private burserysk she can continue to work and live in her nice house.
as any time he has to work and it clashes with contact she is very abusive and insists he has to have his daughter or he won't see her again, she insists he is a part time parent and as such his job has to work around the days she dictates.
The thing is she has two children. One from a previous relationship that she also has to have minded so that she can go to work/go out, so he is not responsible for wether she can go to work or not. My partner is not the childcare, he's a dad. If he cannot get out if a work obligation she dilberarly doesn't go to work. Has made him pay for the childcare if she lets him go, He was away with the army for two weeks trainkng (he has no choice in this) over the summer and she deliberately didn't work the whole time even though she had months notice, and is blaming him through a solicitor that her job is in the line because of him and that he has to have Emily when she says with plenty of other added caveats too :( or he will not see his daughter again. He is exhausted, stressed and sick with worry. He has always paid over and above what childmaintance says he should, £350 a month when it should be £160. She has since gone to CSA and is now furious that he is now going to go with what they say and pay less than he has been. He has another teenage daughter who he also has 3 nights a week and he tries to juggle everything to keep everyone happy.
My question really is, can his ex dictate the nights he has his daughter? Any help or advice would be very much appreciated.
Worst case scenario. urgent reply please
What rights does he have even though he's not seen her for years he is a stranger she is 7 in March ????
And can I refuse to let him see her or will it just go to court and he'll end up seeing her anyway????
Any help
Please ? X
He thinks what he says goes. Now as I told him he can't have our son this weekend he said he is going to take me to court. I am just wondering where I stand. He was violent towards me when our son was a baby and social services were involved.
I am not sure where I stand with this.
What are the requirements for contact when she reaches16?
Thank you
I was not married to him and he hasn't sen them now for 7 months. Is there anything else I can do to stop him from seeing them. They also do not want to see him
Me and my ex haven't been together for well over a year now. He left me and our 3 and a half month old son (born03/15) , recently moved into a flat a week in.
Now he's apparently given a c100 to the courts.
I just need help to understand where I stand really,
Thoughout everything I've always told my ex that he can see his son anytime if we aren't busy or himself, he's seen him once. He used to see him everyday when we first split, due to me breastfeeding for the first six months I had to be there. He started getting annoyed with our son because he wouldn't go to sleep "at his bedtime" bearing in mind he was 4months old, so I suggested every other day, I've always said he was welcome but he started making up excuses to go play football blah blah. So end of the year 2015 he wanted to get back with me, as I'd picked myself up, (he was actually seeing his now gf) I tryed but it just wasn't the same, a month later he'd declared he loved another girl same name jade... I suggested as it was a new relationship and our son is young to see how things went with them for the next 3-6months. Nope he wasn't having any of it, they moved in together with his brother too (private rent).
I didn't have a problem with them being together as I started a slow relationship myself, my son hadn't seen my partner for a good few months till we knew where it was going.
I had concerns raised to my ex about his girlfriend...
I found out my exs girlfriend was violent and he ex with too in their relationship.
They had an unsafe car seat in her car, a baby carrier forwards facing,
She was driving to fast down a residential area with speed bumps, maximum speed was 5 as road works but she chose to ignore that.
I told my ex my concerns and he just laughed at me,
Now every time I have my son home he's unsettled he has cat scratches or clothes stained from in incontinence.
his days used to be everyweekend but then he wasn't happy so it went to Friday night back sat evening then Friday sat back Sunday, but because of our son coming home unsettled I said he could have him days, he continued to have him around his girlfriend although I said I wasn't comfortable for that,
Her name is jade she cut her hair the same as me and dyed it the same, she took several photos of my son and put them on social media stating him as her own. I raised my concerns but still nothing from my ex.
I'm fed up of them making me out to me the horrid one when all I've done it think about my sons intrestes
They continue to social media slander me, he can never come to an agreement with me about our son, his gf now writes the messages and is spiteful,he's threatened court and to stop maintance. I have yes refused for him to have or see his son a couple of occasions when he was ill, he and her say it was 6weeks but 2 of those they were abroad and the rest I was back and fourth from hospital or doctors appointments,It's come to now meeting at a child's pl
I have been with my partner for nearly 8 years. We are unmarried , and his name is on the birth certificate. I don't think I want to continue the relationship ship and am considering we split up. He is an amazing father and really good at being a dad my only worry is he is the type of guy that would take our child and want full custody as he really wouldn't like the idea of being a part time dad and not living with child full time. I am a non conflict type of person and would be more than happy and flexible with access as like I said he is amazing , there no need to fight or cause negative vibes as I just want it as easy possible for everyone involved. I know the police wouldn't do much as there would be no concerns for her well being, and he is on birth certificate etc if he did take her. I just want to know if the courts would ever give our child to him even though there nothing about my life or lifestyle that would prove I'm unfit as sole residency as I am a professional employed successful person i own my house and car...and money not really an issue and don't have any social services child services involvement or a chaotic negative lifestyle . Thanks
Well when I say taken I mean I came home one day from work and he was in bed with my best friend. I then went outside to get some air and go for a walk (my son was in bed asleep) and he wouldn't let me back in the house
There is a supervision order in place that both my ex and myself have pr he is on the birth certificate . Social services are involved and they are just being useless, they say they can't tell me where my son is as he's moved house all they can say his in Sevenoaks.... so now we are 4 months on and I haven't seen my son in that time.
I have mental health issues I was sectioned 2/12 months ago as I wanted to end it all. I have now been put on medication for my depression. Which is helping a lot.
I have been to see a solicitor but no-one is really helping me :( there was dv involved but I toke back my statement As he threatened to kill me if I didn't. So here we are now there's got to be something I can do?
I have recently moved to the channel island and I have ano old court order in place based on when I lived in the UK. Prior to leaving we went to mediation and agreed that we would have contact every week via Skype and then see then holidays for overnights. This had been going fine for several months but she has now stopped it without any justifiable reason other than she's busy. She has now said I can only speak to them once a fortnight on a Sunday which she says is in line with the court order. It's not as we haven't changed it since we left. Can she do this and what is our next course of action. She will only communicate via email!!
I am self employed and we have a lovelyear home with a great school just thirty minutes away.
His dad doesn't pay maintenance as he's in and out work a lot and has had drinking and problems with depression too.
Am I just being worried over nothing?
Im at my wits end with them both causing upset and friction for me and our sons access what can i do about this or what sort of access arrangements would be best, i want my son to have access to his dad but need to make sure he is safe.
I would like some advice please.
My daughter is now approaching 8 years old and has not seen her biological father since she was 2 months old.
He has had no contact, paid no maintenence, sent no cards etc.
I met my current partner when my daughter was apex 4 months old in which we have lived together for the whole time.
My daughter does not know that my partner is not her biological dad at this stage. She can be very emotional at times.
I understand that he has PR due to her being born in 2008. However due to the circumstances i want her to be protected. My partner would also love to adopt her. We are due to be married in 2 years. What would need to be my first stage into removing the PR or an alternative?
I do not have any contact with the biological father.
My son is 4. My husband left us before his first birthday and had an affair.
He moved to the other end of the country.
I support contact which he has every second weekend if he choses too.
He works overseas for some periods.
He has now moved 5 hours away with the person he had the affair with.
I have had to sell house and divorce and sort everything alone.
I still support contact which he has at his mothers who lives in same town.
He does not have him overnight as he is too infrequent and also because my little boy misses me.
Problem - he is now constantly threatening me with more access, he wants to pick up and put down his son as and when he wants. He blames me for his choice to leave although I fully support his contact, he also wants to introduce our son to this other person which to me is awful and immoral due to the fact he should be utalising the time with his son. anyway the calls and the threats and the emotional abuse he is putting me through is really affecting me now. I cant take much more and need to know what I can do. I provide contact and support it and act in my sons best interest but we need to feel safe and secure and not threatened. Should I contact police? should I contact solicitor? help please
She is a person that manipulates and destroy everything that she touches and I don't want her in my child's life.about 3 years ago she ended up in jail because of her life and 3 months ago I found out that my ex has been taking my child to jail to visit his sister.
I refused to let him take her out now and I proposed him to see her in child contact Center because I can't trust him anymore .
What rights do I have if any to keep this woman away from my child's life? I don't have problems with another members of his family. (His cousin is my daughters godfather and when back to our home country his mum and half sister has access to my daugther and I have a good relationships with another members of the family).maggieuk
After breaking up my kids stayed with father. I decided to leave them with him cause at that time I cause my work situation didn't let me.to take care of them as I used to work night shift. I had to move out to studio flat and kids stayed with that also with that reason. He always been very good parent and as that was hard for me I didn't have concerns about this he we'll be able to take care of them and that's good for kids.
Unfortunately since then everything is change. He started to be very unstable emotionally, get very depressed and start to using our kids to figh with me. He start to manipulate them and involve them in every problems between us. Also he's reducing my contact with kids, very often if he's angry I cannot see my boys, sometimes over week and hes telling them that I don't want to be with them. He convinced boys that I'm bad person, and I've been hurting them.
As for kids breaking up wasn't simple now is much worst. They're stressed, cannot sleep, have problems with behaviour and missing school from time to time cause of often bad mood, tiredness.
I don't think that my ex is able to take care of them, he's emotionally and mentally barely taking care of himself cause depression, but he doesn't want any help. Is anything what I can do to take my kids from him?
My sons behaviour to me was terrible as his father let him do what ever he wanted therfore would not listen to any of my rules. My son decided he would have a better life with his Dad and wanted to live with him. I said no but would be hit by my son and sream the place down ect was awfull. There is no law against spoiling a child or and minipulating them so they will live with you but there should be. Its really a very sad situation. Im working on a low income and have now lost housing top ups, child tax ect and do not have enough money to live. I live in kent and my son in Ely it costs me £100 in petrol if i pick him up to stay with me in the weekend as 4 trips in total, however benifits say im not entitled to keep his room or claim anything as i am not paying for my child when clearly i am. I cant afford solicitor im just at rock bottom any advise on this please x
I don't have an issue with his parents seeing our son, whilst my ex is around, but I do have an issue with him basically handing over our son to a 3rd party for his visitation time.
Me and my ex both hold pr for out 7 year old daughter
My ex recently voluntarily put herself into a psychiatric ward
3weeks
5 weeks ago after being found to be drinking excessively social services agreed the child should be with me full time
She has since released herself and is demanding things go back to normal with contact
Has she lost parental responsibility
Do I have rights to refuse
Can she do this
Please help as I cannot find information anywhere
I agree the child needs a mother and always will but I need to be sure she is sane
They cannot do a psychological report until she is 6months free of alcohol
Can someone tell me how I can sort a visit between my daughter and her dad. She is 5years old.
At the moment my daughter dad want to see her twice a week and is only for 2hours every time. I was asking him lots of times if he can take her 2times a month for a weekend. (From Friday evening to Sunday late afternoon) every time he is saying that he can't coz he is working every weekend and nights as well but them weekends job they like "cash in hand,,so he is not paying any tax for them weeends jobs
What I can do in that case? Thank you
He has denied parentage to CSA. He has contacted a solicitor and he is going for custody of our child. He hasn't seen her in 13 weeks as he refuses all the arrangements I have attempted to put in place. He gets my daughter up at 5am to drop her to mine really early as he refuses to take her to school so I have suggested we drop that night overnight and alternatively he has her for a few hours instead. But apparently I'm a dictator according to him. He also (evidenced by her school and social services) say horrible things about me and tells my daughter that she no longer has to live with me. This entire situation is really beginning to stress me out and I'm uncertain on how court will play out.
What are my rights !
my partners child is coming to live with us full time after the mother has been neglecting them & isn't currently allowed to see the children (its under investigation etc)
we have been together since the child was 6months old & bring her up together, just wondering what happens in terms with me when the child moves in? we are not married, so will I legally not have anything to do with her. e.g. being able to help registering her at a new doctors etc. This has all come very suddenly & just wondering if it changes anything for me really. thanks
Me and my ex have shared care of our 2 boys . The final court order has been made. During the case he showed he was able to drop and collect the boys from school, however now the case is over and his parents are doing the drops and pickups and he has returned to full time work .
Where do I stand? As I feel how is this fair when I could be there to drop and pick them everyday pls advise .
I'm confused
My ex is on the birth certificate and see his son every other weekend. But things are starting to get awkward now. I'm looking at moving away still in the uk but away from where we are now. Do I need to have my ex's permission and where do I stand with my rights and does he have any rights In it all
She came back from his house a month ago covered in blood as she had fallen and bashed her teeth. He didn't contact me to tell me she had had an accident or administer any pain relief (she was clearly in a great deal of pain) and is having on going treatment due to the damage to her teeth. I don't trust him at all. What should I do?
Thank you
Donna
I haven't seen my eldest in 2 and half years and I was recently told I could begin seeing my youngest every 6 weeks for an hour in a supervised environment. I pose no risk to my girls and have PR. I am told nothing about my daughters. I was asked to leave the martial home 3 years ago due to my alcoholism. I did this and am now sober and in a stable relationship and have completed CBT and get ongoing support from a local addiction service, where I volunteer and am involved with charity work and sit on different committees through them. There is no court order in place of any description yet, my ex wife (I'm divorced) still controls access and claims my eldest doesn't wish to see me. Can she do this?
I am doing some work with support through Action for Children around access etc, however, your advice would be most enlightening
Thanks
I left a relationship with a narsisist 9 months ago. I have 1 police record but did not press charges, and 2 medical doctors reports of physical injury. I have also been seeing a counsellor for I believe to be ptsd as result of my experiences with my ex partner. Despite the abuse I left the door open for him to be a father to our son. Although I made clear contact had to be arranged through a solicitor as I did not want anymore messing around and contact to limited . Since our seperation he has not addressd formal contact and withheld all financial contribution. I have kept all emails, it can be proved I have been asking about money and contact since January. He still sends intermittent messages saying.. will I let him see our child, so trying to evade accountability making it me that is stopping him. He says wants to pay and see our son, but nothing happens, so more mind games. To me this is further evidence of a continuation of an abusive approach. It is complete neglect of our child. My question is how would the courts deem this behaviour in light of past abusive incidents. Also after nearly a year I want to block any further communication as it is futile and upsetting. I am left undertaking all aspects of raising our child who also has special needs. I also do it alone with no family for help. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.
I have a child who is almost 3, her father is involved but the last year contact is starting too fade. We have an arrangement where he sees her every other weekend at my house as he doesnt have a permanent address. The last few months he has been failing to show up at the correct times and has often shown up drunk. I bend over backwards to be reasonable with him and keep a continued relationship between himself and our daughter, but he is verbally abusive to me and often threatens to take me to court. I dont believe our daughter is safe with him on his own due to his aggressive outbursts and heavy drinking. Every other weekend i dont know if hes going to show up or not and our daughter is getting to the age where she understands whats going on. I have tried mediation but he refuses to go, what other options do i have because i cant continue to have this everytime its his weekend with her. Many thanks
Mediation takes place in front of a neutral third party. The mediator has no pre-conceptions and will not force you to make an agreement. They will assist the two parties in taking turns in the conversation, and helping you reach a decision that you are ready to agree with. Mediators do not pass judgment or offer guidance; they are there, in effect, to facilitate conversation between the two sides. Mediation should, where possible, be used before the matter reaches court. However, if your ex refuses mediation, or the mediation process breaks down because neither of you can agree a solution, then the next stage is to apply through court. If you go through court whatever order is decided upon will be fixed and your ex will have to adhere to this.
Many thanks
Thanks
I have recently put in a court application for access to my son, he lives with his mother and her new bf, we live 3 hours apart from each other, I moved away due to not been able to afford housing alone so had to move back to my parents, my ex was very supportive at the time and agreed to meet me half way for pick up/drop off of my son once a month for a weekend. This changed when I told her my current girlfriend was pregnant, she stopped visitation without any reason as why. We attended mediation and she told me that she felt because of the situation you believe i should travel to her to pick up my son on a Friday evening and again to drop him off on a Sunday afternoon, I don't drive so have to rely on either my partner or family to take me, the mediator quite clearly said that because the agreement to meet half way was already in place then she needed a valid reason to change that, she said that it was just 'principal'. I met with a solicitor who told me the same thing, in the eyes of the law if she has already agreed to meet half way whether formally or informally then she needed a solid reason to change this, he wrote a letter to her explaining this but still nothing changed. After my little girl was born we saved up some money to spend a weekend with my son, after this my ex again agreed to meet me half way, this happened once then she was back to saying no and now stated that she couldn't afford it, yet she goes to visit her partners family 4 hours away at least once a month.
I have applied to the courts for holiday access and a specific order for handover, could you advise me on what I should expect to get from this?
Thanks in advance!
Hes never provided in my pregnancy or when our son was born witch resulted in me getting myself into debt to support my unborn child he now wants access to our son and is taking me to court where do i stand on this and what can i do?
Take my son they are wealthy family he also has pr! Help me I feel so helpless and stuck I'm scared he will take my son
Are they able to get PR with out my consent?
I already have a court order to see my son every Saturday
She is unable to walk or talk due to this condition but she is a very happy child, I as her father has always played a key role in her development along with my wife, her step mum who adores her, myself and my wife have set up a champaign called root for rubie so we can get a sensary garden put in to help towards her future needs and development, however my ex still acts like a child and still acts like she holds all the cards and goes on lile me and my wife do not hold any parental responsilbility, we have my daughter over ever other weekend, 4 days out of the month is what she will allow,
Over recent weeks myself and my wife have managed to get her walking abit using a walker, so some progress there but her mother claims she does all the work, when infact she does hardly any even though my daughter lives with her.
It is coming up to me and my wifes daughters first birthday, so my youngests, my ex will not let my eldest come to her first birthday party that has been set up by ourselves in a community centre because she believes that my eldests teachers retirement due is more important than her sisters first birthday.
What can we do about that before it's to late and how can we stop being made to feel like if we do this or that my ex will say we are not seeing her again.
My ex is very cold hearted and she hates my youngest daughter and she is only 11 months old.
We are afraid that if we ask for more time with my eldest or just keep her at our house instead of having to take her back to a flat we will not see her again.
Remember she has special needs and we do not get any help with her at all, we have to do it all ourselves unlike her mother.
We have the papers for a residantcey order at home and filled out, what will this do for us and how will this affect anything.
I had miscarried, and my ex partner beat me badly. i left him and moved to my mothers, but my ex managed to get back in contact with me and due to me talking to him and my mother treating me like a baby i ended up being asked to leave or to stay and keep to her rules.. I was 27 year old woman who had been through alot of troubles through my life and my mother and I were close but never got on.
Anyway i left that night leaving my son in their hands. My son already lived with s father which we both agreed to. I was in such a low place and my ex who was a psychologist got in my head again and the mental abuse started again. I finally got the strength to leave after a big fight. I have tried and tried to get in contact with my son but his father has said NO and has blocked me from any way of getting in contact with him.
I have written a letter to my parents explaining how bad my mental health had been back then and how messed up i had been.
I have tried to better myself by going to college for the last year even though it has been the hardest year of my o life dealing with my health getting out of an abusive relationship going through court and multiple suicide attempts. I have passed college and am now moving on to the next stage of my education to make a better life for my son when he is older.
I just would like some help or information on what I can do next. I have never been in situation before and feel a little lost and really want to get in contact with my son just o be part of his life again now that i feel that i have healed a little and would not be destructive in his life. i want him to grow up knowing me i love him soo much and it kills me a little more everyday when i cant hear or see him.
Well about 3years ago when my children was 6 & 8 he got shared contact on the first week he had them got social services involved claiming i was abusive to my kids
After 18months of hell he brain washes the kids who then my son refused to see my anymore but I was still seeing my daughter
When it came time to see my daughter alone my ex told my daughter if she was to see me she couldn't stay with him and her brother so she then stop seeing me
Tho there was an agreement thru social services he stopped all contact emails was sent thru his phone acting as my kids
Now it's 3 years I haven't seen them and because of social services closing I can't get legal aid
He has moved them house school doctors everything without letting me know
Please what can I do I'm desperately wanting to see them but I can't afford court cost ??????
I have tried most things but no1 will help me cos social care are not involve
I have call ss but they won't help cos of it being closed
Schools won't tell me cos he hasn't put my name as there mother ( I have called all schools over our area)
Doctors the same
I have gone to his mother houses and text her she calls police on me or hangs up on me
Paid an agents to find his address which I have sent cards but got nothing back
Text and call from many numbers but he blocks me
Facebook
Everything
Ps I was cleared of all charges and accusations
Thanks if there's anything I can try
My daughter comes home and tells me that her and my son got up at 7-8 but their dad didn't get up til gone 11. They are constantly shouted at and sent to their room for most of the time he has them.
He currently sees them Friday evening until Saturday afternoon. He is constant with having them but I don't know how to proceed. My children get so distressed when they know they are going.
I understand until my child is 11, her views aren't exactly taken into account through court but do I keep forcing them to go?
They won't disclose their address to give me access to see my 4 sons...all contact telephone numbers have changed.
Where can I find an address without paying solicitors as that's such a long process, expensive and heartbreaking
I divorced almost 3years ago.
My ex had regular contact with the children.
He moved out on Sunday and was going to leave his new address, out of the area.
After discussion with his new girlfriend she has stipulated that she is not willing to disclose it, even though he will be living there too.
My court order only went into household finances such as who would be responsible for repairs, mortgage, insurance etc.
Nothing about child access.
As he is out of the area I am not happy for him to take them away as won't know where they will be.
I have asked several times for the address. Ex came to see my son yesterday and said he would give it, but didn't.
I am not happy to hand them over for days and weekends not knowing where they are. The kids don't like the new girlfriend and I don't want them staying overnight.
I was going to say he could see them but only in my home.
As there is nothing stipulated in the court order I am unsure what his visitation rights are?
Also, can I stop him from staying overnight ?
Many thanks for any advice.
Thanks
Although when my children was born, he was not here for the birth, coming few days after, and leaving the day after i came home,saying he couldn't cope with the stress, and even mentioning that it was to much for him. He was asked to stay as i wanted to registered the babies, he did not care, so i then registered the babies without their father on the birth certificate.
I then went to our home country when the babies were around weeks old, and stayed with family for months whilst on maternity leave, he wold see the babies as in when and never bothered to help me with anything, the person who has helped me through out was their god mother Paula.
In February this year, their father decided to abuse me, and stole my belonging, police was then involved and he has a 2 year restraining order. Now his lawyer in Portugal keeps sending me emails, about the father coming to see the babies, even though he never cared about them.
I need some advice on what to do or who to contact as i don't want my children around that person, alone while they are so babies and cannot walk or talk yet.
Please advise!
Joana
I split up few moths ago with my ex partner after 9 years and we have a 7 years old daughter together. We never have been married but I am on my daughter birth certificate as the father. I am Italian and the mum English. My daughter is British and also registered on the Italian embassy when she was born.
I live currently with my new partner in a studio flat and my daughter loves to come to my house and stay with me and also with my partner as she knows her for about 2 years now, as we were colleagues at works.
My daughter doesn't mind have my partner around at all, actually likes her a lots, but the mum stop my daughter to sleep at mine because I used to sleep in the bed with my daughter and my partner sleeps in a separate sofa but in the same room.
I asked my daughter and she doesn't mind at all, actually like the idea to have more people around when she sleeps as comfort.
I pay for my daughter child maintenance (little bit more than I should and I do it for my daughter only) plus I pick her up 3 times a week in the morning and have breakfast together and drop her to school.
Usually in the weekend she stay at mine all day Saturday e twice a month also on Sunday.
I pay for her clothes and whatever she needs.
Could you please advise if my partner could actually stop my daughter to stay at mine?If not, what you advise to do?
Note that I was in an abusive relationship and my daughter remember all the screaming and arguments I received (even racist comments as Im Italian and she is AfroCaribbean), my daughter cried lots of times with me and she remember everything unfortunately.
Till now she is abusive and I have to deal with her only cause my daughter. She also treated me to don't take any more my daughter to see her grandparents in Italy (she has been there 10 times in 7 years as she loves Italy and once was there for all the entire summer holidays) as she claim my mum didn't do enough to save our (abusive) relationship and my daughter desperately keep asking her and me to go to Italy.
If you could advise I really would appreciate it.
Thanks
When he comes for his children one is 4 the other 8. The 8 year old doesn't want to go with him. The 4 year old does only when she speaks to him over the phone and he more or less talks her into it...
He isn't paying any csa etc.
He is violent towards me and tells my partner and his children that his is going to beat me up etc. Tells his children to swear at me such as your a fat c**t or bast**d
We're does my partner stand in all this legally ?
She is trying so hard to make things easier for her kids but this so called dad is a nightmare.
Both children were born after 2003 and he does have pr as far as I'm aware.
Can I be forced into this?
Access is not an issue he can see our child whenever he wishes. I do not trust him at all
I have separated with my partner about 1 month now we have a 3 year old we live together.
I have a shared ownership property 25% mortgage 75% rent
My ex partner doesn't work and I work full time and pay all bills in the house
Now we split up she has no intention of leaving the property
I'm prepared to support my child with payments and anything else I can but I don't wanna be sponged off by supporting my ex
She said she gonna take my child and I c her on my days off work which I agreed with but I don't want to live with her as I'm trying to be civil but she's not
Where do I stand with getting her out the house?
HE HIMSELF IS ALWAYS THREATENING ME OVER THE PHONE COMES TO MY HOUSE TEXT MESSAGES AND HE GETS HIM FAMILY INVOLVED ON THE PHONE TO MY HOUSE ECT....
I HAVE ALREADY PHONED THE POLICE TWICE FOR HIM THREATENING ME !!!
AM STRESSING ALOT ANY ADVICE WOULD BE MUCH APPREICATED
My fiance has 2 children he pays maintenance too,when married is his ex entitled to what little income I receive aswel?
Many thanks
She now wants to take her away on holiday. I dont know what with. Can I stop her. My wife was not born in this country doesn't have a British passport. My daughter does.
I have recently split from my ex and he has threatened to take both my life and his own. I have two girls aged 10 & 7 and whilst their dad has never hurt them they are extremely upset as he has been posting abuse on facebook and threatening me with theft and fraud and all of this is completely fabricated.The last time they saw him they ran away from him to a friends home. He says he will approach them in the street or at school or church as he knows where we will be and when as we are still living in the same area.. Although he has PR is there anything I can do to stop him from doing this as I dont want my girls upset any further
is there anything that i can do to make sure thats he's at my wedding . We are having suit fittings today and if he decides in the next week that he wants to come,theres not gonna be enough time to get his suit.
feeling really anxious
any advice would be great.... Thanks
I encourage my daughter to keep up SKYPE contact but she gets bored.
He says that as I was the one to move away it's my responsibility to facilitate his access by travelling. We discussed him stopping maintenance in order for him to do that. He has stopped paying and refuses to make even an attempt to see my daughter. I suggested meeting half way but he refuses.
I have another child now and do not work. We are not entitled to child benefit. Can a court force me to comply with his demands?
I have also just found out my ex is trying to change my son's religion next month without my knowledge, is this legal?
Thanks Dee
Two days ago I had received an application by my husband for a shared care order.
My husband and I are going through a divorce.
I have suffered emotional, financial and physical abuse from him.
He drinks a lot although I wouldn't say depended, but when he does drink he doesn't know his limits.
I'm feeling quite emotional and as his behaviour is unpredictable I don't want to be any where near him. In the last two weeks Hes text me saying "I'm going to die". " my parents are going to die soon too".
I have become frightened and have to have the front door locked whenever my parents leave the house.
My father has been in touch with his solictor and said when my husband wants to make arrangements to see our son, he can do so by contacting my mother who will meet him nearby.
We were advised by the health visitor it not to be far and in a child friendly environment.
He has text my mother twice in the last 4 weeks and my mother has replied each time. I've seen the texts myself. And his solictor is denying "her client having any response from my mother".
Today I've requested all the accounts and reports I made against my husband so I can take them to the court, however been told it may take 40 days .. So they may not come into.
Can I postpone the hearing because I need these reports for my evidence of why I haven't allowed unsupervised access?
Our son is only 14 months old .. And I don't want him to suffer a 2 hour round journey to see his father, he wil only end up taking him to a pub and "palming him off" .
Have I done anything wrong?
I'm really scared what may happen ??
He had our son last night and when I went to pick him up this morning there was 12 cans of alcohol on the side he had drank all of them while he had or son! He thinks it's clever, but I don't want my son missing out on seeing his dad, how would I go about him seeing our son through a contact centre?
I have be separated now for over a year and I have 3 children that live at home with me. My ex will not leave me alone he's always texting and calling. He does regular contact with them it's just when he feels like it he refuses to have then over night. Now he's wants my son to move in with him who 14 what can I do
Just a quick question, I have recently moved house and my ex partner has asked for my address? I have PR and I don't really want to give her my details as her new partner has been abusive via text to me. I have my children every other weekend and holidays.
Thank you for any advise.
I am looking to move house with my 9 year old son and 7 month old daughter. My ex partner who is my daughters father left us when she about 4 months old but keeps knocking my door at unreasonable times of night demanding to see her when she is already in bed. I have offered for him to come round at a more ideal time but he is always busy. He will also sit in his car outside all night watching the house. Any way he is on her birth certificate, i am wondering do i have to tell him my new address? I already feel like a prisoner in my own home and this move will be a fresh start for me, i just dnt want to have to put up with his late night calls and constant surveillance.
I'm not married to the father of my child and I am worried that he will file for joint custody. Wondered what rights he has?
I want to know if my ex husband has the right to take our two sons. He has pr and I recently asked him to keep his son one night I was ill with flu. My other boy was already with him and the eldest I got my father to pick up. As soon as he arrived at my dads he starts accusing me of harming the youngest because he found a bruise on his shoulder.
Just a bit of background, my current partner was driving with our three kids and unwittingly pulled abit of my youngest sons hair. As soon as his dad found this out he phoned social services and now every time he finds any cut or scrape he's reporting it to the school and ss and it's making my life hellish.
Anyways I've said to my ex that basically I don't know anything about the bruise and left it at that.
The following day I went into labour and four days later I was discharged. When I texted him to say I'm getting them from school he starts ranting that I've been letting them be abused all these years. The fact is I've been with someone else for five years now, he's helped me to bring up my boys and paid for more that their own dad ever did.
My ex is really tight and quite often doesn't feed, clothe or care for them properly. This has always been the case But now he's brought further allegations against my current partner and now he's up on a charge of wilful assault on my boy. He's also refusing to return them though he fobs them off all day on his elderly mum.
I want to know where I stand with this. Can he keep them like this without any legal injunction to back this up? I'm desperate to have them back and he's being completely relentless in not allowing me any unsupervised access. I believe this is because he's manipulated my youngest son with the promise that if he gets my current partner out of the way, we might get back together.
Can he keep them like this? Is it legal for him to do so. Social services don't Seem to hear a thing I say, they just look at me as though lying. It's been a living hell since I came out of hospital with my young baby and I can't stop thinking about how unfair it all is. I for one and not very happy with being accused of covering up abuse when it's been me and my partner who have been caring and feeding and clothing my kids all these years with very minimal help from my ex.
Can somebody please Please please tell me where I staff with this???
Thanks in advance.
Distressed in Bristol
I don't even know his girlfriends surname. Never mind personally. I have cared for my son as a lone parents over 5 months. Since he was a baby . Dad has left him unsupervised for over an hour at night. While he drank at his parents. My son was 2. His mum told me on the phone. She and her husband knew. But I never rang the police.
I had no support at court recently. For my application to vary the order to no over night contact so wasn't able to express alk my concerns esp the above. His solicitor had not sent me fathers statements etc back via email or post. I got them in my solicitors bundle on the morning of court. And wasn't given time to read it. I didn't mention it in court as I was already accuse of controlling contact . Stopping it when I'm only caring . Safeguarding my son.
In October dad was stopped from taking son from school for contact after school at his home, by a phone call to school via me reporting threatening text messages I received from him. Stating that he was going to take him. Nobody was going to stop him. And he'd get me arrested. I was petrified that me or 5th old would be hurt by dad trying to physically get him off me on the way to the school. I can't drive. I was advised to collect my son early from school. My son wasn't upset about not seeing dad. The 3 times I have witnessed him collecting him. My son has been very sad and reluctant to go. Despite me only watching from distance and not commenting about it
thanks
2 years ago it was found out that our son was smoking pot, he was caught with it at school, at the time my own mother was under going treatment for cancer so my sons father demanded he took our son for 6 weeks or longer if he needed it to get him away from the people he got involved with. I agreed bur after 2 weeks was missing my son and demanded him back. 6 months later I found drugs again, I grounded my son and suggested to his dad that I thought he was on drugs before this and to keep a eye on him, but his dad went straight to him and said your mum thinks your taking drugs again, of course my son denied it and his father be lived him. So this time I grounded him and he begged me not to tell his father.... so I didn't. I don't give him any money at all, although his father's side of the family do. I have pretty good evidence that he is on drugs again and even the school called me cos they thought he was on something. My son denies it and I am going to order a drugs test to see if his pot use has progressed to other drugs. My worry is, if I tell his father this time, he will take him away from me, as he will believe it's all my fault and I am not doing enough as his mother. Can he do this to me?
He recently moved in with his new girlfriend and says he's in a position to have them every day if he wants. He works 4/5 days and wants his new girlfriend to care for them when he's at work, even though I'm at home to care for them. I've been constantly harassed about this through texts and phone calls. He can't understand my side when I want to take of them whilst he is at work. He's simply wanting them more so that he dosnt have to pay a penny child maintenance. What are my rights? As he keeps telling me I haven't got any rights. Please help as it's making me ill the thought of him taking them away from me.
I would like some advice, I split from my partner and he wants shared custody which is fine but I'm lucky he haves him once a week and it seems like I have to chase him to see his son. I am on benefits and he told me that I should apply to court for him to have shared custody? Can I do this
Just wanted to now we're I stand if my ex was to apply for kids
I have gone through really bad domestic abuse .. he was charged by criwn court n got suspended sentence restraining order community service n courses.
I now he will at some point to try not fir the kuds but to get bk at me . He is on one birth certificate but police advise me to change child lady name which has been done to how bad it got . My other child I gave birth n he wasn't around .
I'm scared n living my life in hiding but still want to now he can never have them for there safety. He pays on off chance through csa but not correctly n with a huge outstanding debt . His once broke bail. N very good at getting away with things . Please help.
My ex has stopped me from seeing my children for no reason other than she can! I pay maintenance, see them twice a week and had them over Christmas. They had been at mine and my gf's residence numerous times prior to the recent events.
Up until now, she has never asked for my new address but having arranged a family holiday with my gf's family and jealousy and malice kicking in, she has stopped contact until I agree to her demands of certain dates. She told me that as I have to discuss these dates with work and my current gf, she feels my duties as a father aren't being taken seriously by myself?!?
Due to previous issues, her family's "dealings" and my gf having young children, I do not wish to disclose my address. I have updated all doctor/school emergency numbers etc.
Is there a law stating that I HAVE to give my details over? She has all telephone numbers (4 of which in emergency you call first!)
Please advise.
Majority of the time her dad is at work and the new girlfriend is with my daughter! This happens because they black mail me with taking me to court!
The question really is can her dad get granted week by week shared custody even though he sees her on his terms?
As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the children in question. The court will always put the children’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order. I hope this helps.
He as pr. He cheated on me and ran off with her but as been flitting in and out of mine and my son's life's for the past 4 years. We have just had another split as he made promises to me and my son's he was coming home for good and then I find out he is still with the woman he cheated on me with. Mine and children's heads are everywhere and 1 of my son's is very aggressive towards me and there behaviour at the moment is terrible. Ex slags me off to them too
My partner has left me and we have a 9 month old baby together and I am pregnant with our second baby together.
I won't stop him seeing our son but I don't want him to have our son when he has his other children from his previous relationship. What are my rights on this?
Does the money i pay cover these expenses?
Any help would be appriciated.
Also, my son has told me she is intending to change his surname to a double barrelled version with the surname of her partner in front of mine - is this legal?
Thanks in advance.
He has since made contact but moved the goal posts re when he sees the children. This now meaning he sees them every other weekend. Knowing that I need him to have the children every Sunday as I work on Sundays.
He is also now demanding I send cloths and toys for them and if I don't any cost he incures re purchasing cloths toys etc he will deduct from his Child maintenance payments to me.
I feel I shouldn't as things don't come back home as well as feeling very hurt after what he's done to the children of late re not seeing them.
Where do I stand with this?
I have been with my current partner since I was 24wks and he loves her more than anything, we plan on getting married and he wants to offcially adopt my daughter..
Do we need to get her biological fathers permission for this? As he does not have PR..
Thanks
Can I lose my girls if I did marry again eventhough I have residence of the girls? I'm a good mother, working and looking after girls as best as I can. My ex- husband doesn't work, doesn't pay child maintenance, but he's got contact with girls every other day.
Thank you
I had a nervous breakdown 3 weeks ago and his father has intermittently looked after him. Due to several arguments he has now refused to let me see my son. I have received all appropriate medical help and have support, but I do not even know where my son is living.
My son will be missing me desperately and my ex refuses to answer calls.
My son is 3.5 years old and we were never married, but his name is on birth certificate.
Social Services won't help, the police won't help. Can a father who just takes his son and wont allow supervised visits even do this? Could I lose my son forever. Heartbreaking for me as I have done everything to try and sort this amicably but I don't even know where my son is. Help :0 (
My ex was an abusive person emotionally and he tried physically. I now have a baby to him but he wanted nothing to do with her. So he is not on the birth certificate. I found out he is also an illegal immigrant.
He is now telling me he will take me to court to get my baby. Is he able to do that? Would he have the rights to take my baby?
She is a few months old and would not know him. He was abusive to me and I don't want that for my baby
My son is 2 & half.
Me & his dad broke up 10 months ago.
We agreed to 3 nights a week & 1 full day with his dad.
He now wishes to move this to; 1 week 3 nights and the next week 4 nights a week.
As he's so young his routine is very important.
I have offered him more time in the day, as that's what matters & will help them bond. But he seems more interested in the nights & I feel it's down to child maintance.
He's advising he will go to the court if I don't agree to alternate the number of nights.
Has anyone been to court over something like this?
I have been the main parent his whole life as my ex worked full time & still does.
Thanks
I have advised that I am needing to change the nights over due to being a uni two nights a week and he's refusing which means I will not see our daughter due to working full time. he advised that we have to stock to our original agreement from a year ago which I noted at the time would only be for a year.
I am due to go back to university next week and I am unsure as to where I stand.
my daughters dad is on the birth certificate which gives us both PR.
He is demanding I let my daughter (20 months old) go and stay down there or he will take me to court. She has never stayed over night with him because he has always been in shared housing.
I have a few worrys I think she is too young, he doesn't drive he doesn't have a job, he has admitted to me after months that she never naps with him because he can't get her to and doesn't know how.
I don't know any of my rights or even if I do have any. He is on the birth certificate.
I have a 7 year old son from a previous relationship. I met my new partner five years ago and we split last year following a domestic incident, I took out a restraining order against my new partner. Because of the domestic incident my son was put on a child protection plan under the section of emotional abuse, even though my son has never witnessed or been subject to any domestic incident. Recently I got back in contact with my new partner and after he has undergone counselling and behavioural therapy we have decided to give our relationship another try. I am in the process of having the restraining order lifted but now my son's father has taken custody of my son and will not allow me contact. He has stated that he doesn't think leo is safe in my custody and therefore will not allow me to see him. I have an appointment with a solicitor to seek legal advice but I just wanted some advice from you as to where I stand.
Kind regards.
Looking for advice on an unusual situation please. I have a 2.5 year old daughter, when her father and I split it was a mutual agreement. He met someone new and we stayed civil. I have since moved on too into a serious relationship. Ex was given a police warning as he broke into my house to attack my new partner. My new partner also has a young daughter whom he has 4 nights a week, he lives 3 hours away from myself. I'd eventually like to move there - better job offers and schools - and he sees his child a lot more than mine as my daughter sees her dad every other weekend (his choosing). My question basically, can ex do anything to stop me moving away with my daughter? (He does have PR). I'm a well educated and hard working single mum and have the most amazing bond with my daughter. Her father is not dead beat as such but hardly there when needed. Sorry for the long post!
And for the sake of my child choice.... What can I do
I was wondering in the event of one parent taking a child out of the country for 4 weeks without the permission of another parent with parental responsibility and with out any court orders in place. Who decides whether permission has been unreasonably refused? I ask as long story short, brother in law split from girlfriend, they have a 5 year old. Last year he went through solicitors to see child. Ex partner said she was going to go abroad a Christmas and brother in law said no on the grounds of the child's safety as he went to the area as a family a few years back. They had to be escorted by guards and had armed guards at the home and on the land to which they were staying. Ex was adamant they were going regardless but as brother had passport of the child was not worried until all access stopped and received a phone call from the country stating they have a landed and have rubbish Christmas. It turns out she declared passport lost, got a replacement and moved out of the house for a couple of weeks prior and switched of her phone. She eventually returned 3-4 weeks later and refuses access. The police are not interested. Is there also any case authority for this sort of incident? Many thanks
New to this.
her father was having her in school nights when she was going nursery part time, now that she is going school full time I want her in a routine and in bed by 19.30. He was picking her up at 19.00 on school nights and was taking her to nursery the following day because she started at 12.00 p.m. So it wasn't a problem her staying up. Now that she is starting school full time and starting at 9.00a.m. There is no way of her having a bit of a late night because hours have changed. I am not denying him access only to rearrange his hours to suit our daughter's needs. He has taken exception to this and threatened me with court.... Will the courts side with me and do I pay court fees as I havnt summoned anyone to court...please help
My Baby's dad has he has a drug and alcohol addition he doesn't care about my son from day one my little boy was in hospital for 7weeks due to being 3months early and instead of being there he would be getting out his nut I don't want my son to be around that I've begged him to stop but he hasn't it's got that bad to the point I ended up with a broken bone because he lashed out I can't have my son In danger what rights does he have with my son please
But of late he has started to make demands , he see's him once a week. But i am terrified he will try and take him away from me.
If he did take our child would i be able to get him back?
also he is getting married will his wife get PR for my child?
I came to Australia with my Family because my wife was homesick, when I got there should told me to go as she is home with her family. My daughter is English like me as she is an IVF baby and is very special to me. My wife said I cant take her back to England to live to me in our country......How do I stand ?
ive got 2 kids both have diffrent fathers. my youngest will be 1 this month and he has not seen his dad for about 7 months. hes only met his dad about 7-9 times last year. his father isnt on birth certifacte. the father wasnt their during the pregnancy and he didnt meet his child until a few weeks after my son was born. during the pregnancy it came to light that he tried getting me attacked to stop my son being born. MY SON is a mummys boy and very attached to me cries when ever i go out his sight like any child he isnt keen on strangers. HIS fathers family dont take involvment the father has admited he has dna doubts which i why i think is the reasons he didnt want to arrange a date to add him to the BIRTH CERTIFICATE. he has never payed for.his child hes just out of jail last month aswell he smoke drugs along with his family he has crimnal record aswell hes also been offerd supervised contact at my mums house hes refused twice to reply. hes also had people message me with abuse and has thrratend to kidnapp my son this year so with my son not knowing him and with the threats thats why i offerd contact at my mothers, is there anything i can do to stop him from contacting me nd my kids as absent ex taking piss out me and his own child now
After some advice. My ex was issued a contact order back in 2010 he stuck to this 80% of the time and then 18th months later stopped contact altogether. My solicitor tried contacting him for 3/4 months but had no replies or responses to the letter. My ex partners parents have continued to have some access maybe once a month which sometimes my ex turns up to and some times doesn't bother. I have tried my best to include the grandparents as much as I can but I find the grandmother very hard to get along with and always trying to provoke an argument with me which I always bite tongue.
Anyway my ex partner decided to show up at my sons football game he had sourced the information from someone. He then proceeded to cause an argument not with myself but my brother in law. My sons teammates and himself was very upset by all this and my son has since refused contact with his grandparents incase his dad goes. I requested the grandparents came to the house to talk to my son (text messages to prove this) so contact could continue but they haven't been. Two weeks ago it was my sons sports day he requested I didn't tell anyone from his paternal side as he frightened his dad would come and upset his friends so I respected his wishes.
Since then I have been bullied and received text messages about taking me back to court and getting access.. I know his grandparents can't get access as such but they have informed me that the dad will go for access again.
My son has not really had a relationship with his dad since he was a baby. He went a year without seeing him then In 2010 he got acess again to which he broke and hasn't really seen him since 2012 maybe 20 times max.
What are the chances of access been granted? Even though my son doesn't want to go? I know he wont stick to it and its just to please his mum
Any advice greatly appreciated
Thanks
My daughter is now 7 yrs and although we tried mediation once recently he let us down badly again and again .we only met once in 7 years due to his criminal behaviour- . I do not want his behaviour to affect my daughter as we have always just been us two and she is safe and happy.
I recently applied for sole parental responsibility as unfortunately he is on birth certificate. I was Informed / encouraged by magistrate not to go down this route as it was unlikely.
Do I have the right to stop him seeing her if he wants to in the future as I fear he is unsafe and a stranger anyway. ? I was told by magistrate I can stop him so he would have to apply to court but then could I still stop it? I am worried.
I recently split up with my wife and we agreed verbally that I would have my son for a night a month.
Due to the nature of my job, I cant guarantee what days I can have my son as I work unsociable hours meaning she is now taking me to court.
Advise please as I don't know what to do. TIA.
Recently I had to get social services involved as the grandmother assaulted my children and they were left with bruises. I informed the police social services and even took them to hospital. My children are 7 and 8 and they keep telling me not to send them back to their grandparents or even their father as they don't have that bonding with him in the first place.
Will there be any possibility that I get sole custody but allow the father to see the children in a contact centre?
I'm really confused and just upset about the whole thing please advice me on what to do next..
I have used cannabis in the past & so as my exwife she's now stopped me seeing them at my home on the nights arranged claiming it's a drug den even though she's been informed otherwise.
She now only let's me see them 2.30 hrs a day.
All I want to do is be a dad
Do I have any rights to make her stop being stubborn as she's only doing this after an argument
Thanks
Anyway, he continually texts me abuse, from im a horrible mum to he wishes me dead and everything in between.
He is verbally abusive towards me in front of the children to the point where my 3yr old said "daddy shouts at mummy and it make's me sad".
I have stopped access as he is unable to collect the babies without being abusive to me, and it was having a detrimental effect on them.
I DO and have always said I DO WANT HIM TO SEE the children just not to damage them in the process because he can't control himself.
We had a mediation session which was stopped, I can only presume this was because he was shouting and angry as he wasn't getting his own way.
The babies are 2&3, he's had zero contact for the past 2 months then just turns up at the door unannounced demanding to see them. They then are unsettled again..
I don't feel comfortable in my own home, I drive past the end of our road to make sure he isn't there before I drive home? were out all the time, when we are in, we live in "lock down" so to speak, blinds / curtains closed in case he shows up shouting.
I have tried to appease him at every step.. I just don't know what to do.
Tonight he showed up, then went to my parents house to be abusive there too!
My parents are in there 70's!!
This is a grown man of 40!
I'm at a loss. I've tried everything.
Help ??
The Police would not help, there was no on to offer advice and 4 days later she has been told that they need mediation to get access rights - she has been warned it maybe that at best she might get to see her through court arranged access. In other words in the next 15-16 years she might get to see her daughter for half a year in total. That's if he even agrees, as we all know how hard it is to gurantee access even if decreed.
The whole system is a mess, and seems to reward the parent who plans the breakup of the relationship best and has foresight to "kidnap" the child before the other partner is aware there are problems.
He has been having them individually once a week For about 3 hours
Have asked him to start Having them overnight, but is not agreeing on a day.
Where do I stand with this as he is on birthday certificate.
Do not know what else I can do he says I am controlling this.
If it went to court for him to see children what would be the outcome.
came to light she had been self harming. I took her to the doctors, school etc we had another rowl again about this boy! And she wanted to stay with her dad. ( I thought she'd soon be back) but no.
She has no room at his house (ssleeping on a sofa bed) he lets her stay with her friends ALL weekend. She is friends with this boy again on face book. Following lots of hardcore stuff on intersgram. Hes applied for her to move school (tto another county) and ive no imput at all.
I've said on numerous occassions I want her home. He won't! Im worried all the time as shes left to own devices. She won't talk to me/see me! I love my daughter and only ever wanted to protect her. I need advice as I seem to not have any imput.
I am engaged to my partner and have been for 10 years. We now have a 5 year old boy (who is my entire life) and I have recently found out the following:
1, the home we live in for the past 3 years she has informed social security she lives here alone and is a lone parent. Which is not the case
2, I have found that she has been cheating for the past 2 years if not longer and have proof of this too.
She is not aware that i know the above and obviously my love for her is very much at the end. As I see the continual texts etc to her new partner. But now knowing that I am not on paper living with her and that she is a single parent i am to scared to have this out with her until I have found another home.
So I am looking for a home so that I can end this so called relationship. But when i do get another place and inform her that I am aware of what has been going on and that I don't want to be with her. I'm so scared of what she could do to stop me from seeing my amazing little boy who loves us both and he is obviously not aware of what's going on.
I'm so scared, the one thing I can't lose is my little boy. Is there any advice someone can give me? If there is something I can make her sign while we are pretending to be happy or anything that will stop her from doing anything that will stop me from seeing and having my boy.
I don't want to take him away from her, but I don't want her to take him away from me. It should be 50/50 and don't really want to settle for less.
I am by my side with worry. Hope to hear from someone soon.
Many thanks
According to the law my partner has PR, they were married at the time the children were born. We tried to arrange mediation, but she refused saying she'd never stopped visitation. However, we have no idea where she lives, she moved & won't say where, & she won't consider meeting us halfway with the kids. Where do we go from here?
Marry her new partner. We have an arrangement regarding payments. Will any of my rights change or payments change when they get married
I am thinking that as it was put that way to avoid ever having to pay CSA as the couple never lived together
Thanks in advance
This week has been the worst week of my live my fiancé said she does not love me anymore and has moved out to her mums and taken my 2 year old daughter with her she is sharing a bed room with the mum and her sister and living in a travel cot. I want to know why she has the right to move out with my daughter when I think my daughter would be better at home with me I do have PR.
Thanks in advance
Adam
I'm also due to go back to work soon and I wouldn't be able to see him until Saturdays only as no buses on a sunday
Any help please?
Thanks in advance
We both have PR as we were both present at the registrastion of both births but are not married.
I would also like to ask has he the right to organise his parents to see or have the children when its not the day he sees them? I am ok with them seing them but not happy when they go through him and not myself.
Thanks chelle
Please help I have always wanted kids my ex had a miscarriage and was then left baron. I have got two nieces and nephews and they love me to bits.
Everyone knows i'm a good guy and would do anything possible to make my daughters life special. I'm would never interfere with how her mum brings her up, or ask for anything unreasonable.
I just want to be part of her life and her to know i'm her father.
Please help it's making me really depressed and i'm out my mind i'm never going to see my fleash and blood.
Regards help john.
My boys dad and I had a fling, it was never a relationship and I fell pregnant. Throughout the pregnancy he was very demanding to me and racist (he's black, I'm white) and often told me thatv old have no right name my son, where he was schooled or his religion etc. The final straw was him saying he would take my baby. With that I ceased all contact with him as I don't trust him near me or my child. Hew never met my son, he's doesn't know his date of birth or his name, nor does he know where I live etc. He contacted me via text message the other day demanding I let him meet him as he knows he is the dad and he just wants to be involved. Now he's has my number over a year and no contact. So I've changed my number as he really quite honestly scares me and I dont want any harm coming to my son. Does he have any rights here?
She holds my step children's passports.
Do we and the children's grandparents need the birth mothers written permission to be able to leave the country to go on holiday? Even when my step son is almost 16, but not before the holiday? Thank you.
He hasn't paid any money for 2 years and before that it was just bits here and there.
A few weeks ago I got fed up of him not helping to provide for her but having a job, money to go out and presumably take drugs like he used too. From this I still allowed her to go twice a week from school for dinner and come back at 7:00-7:30 for bedtime.
He has now stated that he is going to get legal advice to force sleepovers to start again. I think I have been more than fair as he's never provided hardly a thing for her and never really does anything with her when he has her.
What legal rights does he have to inforce more time with her or sleepovers. He has parental responsibility as he is on her birth certificate.
Thanks x
Yes this helps,im quite frightened that they take my son away after 10 years of homelife with me,can i just finally ask,do they take into account separation from siblings?
Many thanks again
I was recently taken to court by my sons father for a contact order, however in the day of the hearing he changed his mind and requested residency. The case was of course adjourned to a later date, this has left me devastated.
We had the same arrangements for 10 years until he got a new partner and now he wants him full time. My ex is named on the birth certificate and my son is 10 so he does share parental responsibility, my son would probably choose his father as he has more freedom and no bedtimes etc. The Cafcas report issued showed lots of convictions for aggression and violence from my ex and I'm sad to say some of this behaviour rubs off on my son at times. So I ask what sort of circumstances and feelings so the take into account and will my son simply get to choose? I couldn't bear loosing my so. And feel he has a better life with me , my husband of 7 years and his two siblings.
Many thanks
The mother of his daughter a pays maintenance every month. He is in a new relationship and has not allowed his new partner in his daughters life at present. The. Mother is not allowing him to see his daughter when he is at home. What rights does he have
I know because he's on the kids birth certificate that I couldn't do anything about it, he also knows this, hence why he pulled a stunt like that.
Now he wants shared custody of the kids!
He sees the kids Twice a month for 24 hours. He lives miles away from the kids school and often gets them to school late.Is it likely he would get shared custody??
I have tried to be reasonable with him, but it just back fires, everything has to be on his terms, absolutely no reasoning with him, I've had enough and agree something needs to be done, but I don't agree shared custody is the right way to deal with this.
I have a 19 month old son who always comes from the mothers dirty, smelly and always ill.
She will never meet me half way for transport unless it suits her meaning I have to travel 3 hours at last minute when she changes her mind.
Am I in a situation Where I could just keep him? He has his own room at my and my partners flat, we both have good jobs and he loves being here.
Thanks
She moved north to Scotland to live with me, and escape her ex. They where never married, yet he was abusive. He also never paid maintenance for their 3 year old daughter. He never kept to timings and was threatening to the mother.
When she moved, because she never got an order, he was able to order her south through the courts. Now, she is in a situation where she has no rights. He has PR since their daughter was born after 03 but he is using his daughter as a pawn. As examples:
He has refused to allow his daughter to Scotland for a week holiday in new year.
He has refused to allow his daughter to live any further than an hour from him.
He threatened to go self employed to avoid paying maintenance.
He has said the daughter can not attend our wedding.
As an aside, when the child said she wanted to live in Scotland with me and her mother, he said "No, neither of you are leaving again".
He is very controlling, and my partners lawyers even say they think he is more after her than the child, but they have said because she moved she has no rights. She has shown them images of her daughter being returned filthy, bruised, or playing alone in a dangerous environment, and it's been brushed aside.
All we want is to start our own life up north, and we are more than happy for him to have regular visit - I even volunteered to pay for his travel even thought it would financially be difficult for me and not him.
Any advice would be really appreciated, because as it stands, he has all the power and we're both being punished very cruelly it feels.
If I back off and agree to still have no contact with them except for the supervised once a week I have now, will the LA lift the request for them to be 'in care', with all the stigma and hassle and pain it is for the kids to be under that until they are 18? Please, anyone??!!!
Unfortunately she could not get the kids with her, she did try once but the husband hit the grandmother anddragged the 7 yr old out the car, police where called but could do nothing, the husband know has the children with him, my female friend wants the kids back but has been told by social service that she can't just take them back with her as its kidnapping, if she got the daughters consent can she keep her if not can you advise what she should do next.
If someone without parental responsibility can apply for residency - why can't i
Our son has lived with me since birth and is 20 months old. A lot of conflicting advice out there
One solicitor has said no wouldn't get another yes I would.
Very hard indeed
I have lost my children through giving the father access on a weekend basis, this is because when a father is on the birth certificate he has the same rights as the mother.
The father of my children was domestically violent towards me and was an alcholic/ druggy which officials decided to ignore, he got his solicitor to applied to the court for a residence order straight away. I didn't have any legal representation at the time because I was working, I was devastated by this because my children meant the world to me, I did eventually get legal aid because I had been to my gp and discussed the abuse at the early stages also I had the help from women's aid who helped me move address this was something I was unaware of at the time he gain residence. I am still fighting for contact to see my children but my ex partner refuses on his false allegation 'I'm mentally disturbed'. I think it is discusting that men could act in such away towards women who have put their lives at risks having their children and then to take the children away from the mother who would risk her own life for the sake of her children. The law in the UK fails to see what damage a mother and child relationship is and to how it will affect the child in the future,, never can a mother be replaced or neither should it be pushed upon a child to do so.
Can anyone please advise me of how I can prevent him from doing this?
My partner and I have decided not to return children to other parent as kids want to live with me...police advised me to get them checked and resulted in different organizations getting involved. what are my legal rights as both ha e pr
I have a 4 year old daughter I spilt with her father 3 years ago, he has never paid a penny towards her stating he left the rented house we shared with a freezer and some sofas that were his. Despite this I have taken her and picked her up from his mums house (where he lives now) every Saturday where she has stayed the night, despite many people telling me he is never there and constantly out drinking. Over the past few months I noticed little things that my daughter was telling me regarding both her father and nanny taking her out in vehicles without a car seat, I have advised them several times that this is dangerous and they went out and bought one, however on the odd occasion still didn't use it, when tackled about it her nanny says she forgets and her father says it's not the law to have a car seat when she is a van, I checked with the police and it is the law! When I went to pick her up last Sunday she was returning from the pub with her dad who had been drinking, and didn't have a car seat. I rang the police and they weren't interested they said to contact social services if I had an issue regarding her safety!!! Since all this I have told them both that as they cannot ensure my daughters safety my daughter will not be going round to their house but it they want to see her we can meet at a park etc. I arranged the meeting yesterday but no one turned up and when I text saying we were leaving as we had been waiting over half an hour I got told that they were taking me to court. The only proof I have of him not having my child in a car seat is him stating to me over a text message that it's not the law. I know if it goes to court he will fight dirty and lie through his teeth, so my question is what is the likelihood of him getting unsupervised visits if that does happen, or indeed joint custody. He brags that he works 18 hours a day and the place they live is dirty and has no central heating. Please can somebody advise me, I have had a week of sleepless nights and I am very agitated and upset about all this agro. Thanks in advance
My son of 16 yrs old has recently come to live with me due to his continued behavioural problems over the past 2 years or so, which has resulted in him clearly heading down the "wrong road". The agreement for him to live with me was fully supported by my ex-wife who also agreed that it was in the best interest of my son to have some guidance in his life.
It has now emerged that back in 2000 my ex-wife had changed my sons name by deed poll. I am unaware if the same was done with my daughter? Over the years I was aware that my ex-wife was using her maiden name with regards to my children's schooling etc but was always told, when both my children had questioned me to why they had a different surname to me, by my ex-wife that our children could make their own decision to which surname they want to use when they are 16 years old.
I have read on the UK Deed Poll website that to change a child's name everyone with parental responsibility has to consent to the name change, something I was never consulted about. My son now wants to be know by my surname, something that he (and my daughter) have always expressed to me over the years that they wanted to be know by.
My ex-wife has given me my sons birth certificate and paperwork of proof of the name change by Deed Poll.
My questions are: Did my ex-wife have the right to change my sons name by Deed Poll? Can I overturn the name change on the grounds that I did give my consent?
Thank you
She seems to think that what she is doing is not affecting her ability to be a mother but I know it is. She will go to bed at 11.30am till 14.30 and does this even when the children are home in her presence.
What can I do to save my children from this and how can I get her to clean up her act?
then when she surfaced when the child was 8 month old like a fool i took her back looked after both of them become a dad paying for every thing then as i thought things were normal i put my name on the certificate
3 weeks later she leaves and puts in for csa
now after 2000 pounds of solicitors fees she would not do a paternaty test
now she has totally left the area no idea were she is
but guess what i still have to pay for somthing that im sure aint mine
and ive ran out of money to take her to court
I had been married to my separated wife for 13yrs, last year at about this time (September) she started an affair with another man. After a few weeks she decided to move in with him and take our three children then aged 2 and 4 my daughters and my 10yr old son, I was not sure of my rights but had half custody of all three.
From the start there were problems especially with my children's mental health, "it was later found out he had been the case of a social service report regarding his own children", after a couple of months she left him and I took full charge of our children, she re-housed herself in a three bedroomed house but the children stayed with me and have been since November last year, she has tried to have the children for a couple of nights but it didn't work out, mainly due to the fact she was unable to cope with them.
Now the benefits we were entitled to are still payed to my wife and she gives me some money but not all of it, lately I've been asking her for more but she says she gives me everything I'm due. Just recently she has demanded that our two girls stay with her and my son stays with me.
Anyone know of any agencies or help lines I can contact for assistance?
Please help.
mumsie
Every time I do research on this topic, websites are contradicting each other so I really hope you could shed some light on this.
My partner has his 15 year old daughter living with him after having lived with her mother for 12 years. All those years, my partner paid his ex wife child support. Now that she lives here, we are wondering if his ex wife owes him child support and if the family allowance she is still claiming should actually go to him.
If so, how do we claim for this?
Thank you for your time and thank you in advance for your response.
I remarried a few months ago and he is causing so many problems since then and I feel is jealous of the life we provide for my son and the relationship that my husband has with my son.
My son has not been going to see his father for over a year. Mostly because his father never called to see him but then the last time he was there overnight, my son told me they slept in a car so after that, I refused to allow him to have overnights unless he could prove that where he was staying was HIS place and he refused.
Now that he is paying child support (almost 32k behind) he suddenly started forcing the issue of him seeing my son and threatened to take me to court AND my son wanted to go so I let him go stay with his father for 6 weeks over the summer break. My ex lives with his girlfriend, her son and her son's grandparents (on his fathers side.. I know confusing)... Anyway, they did nothing over these six weeks except take my son's cell phone that I got him after the whole sleeping in the car thing and told me and my son that he could not talk to me.
When my son came back home he was traumatized to sleep in his own bed (which he has slept in since the day he was born) and afraid to go to bed because of a movie that my ex let him watch about a 10 year old boy that kills his entire family, told him it was based on a true story which it was NOT and now my son thinks that this could happen to him because he is 10.... What type of father does that? Is there anything that I can do? My son is now in counseling to help him work through this and to find out if anything more went on over there. I dont want to let him go back over there! Please help!
I have just became a father roughly about a month ago now and the mother has registered the child on the birth certificate without my name and consent.
I've done some research on this website about what rights I have but I don't really understand them. Could someone please give me some advice on what I should do.
If I take her to court and succeed could I have my name registered on the birth certificate?
I took her to court for contact which I was granted but she had moved to London. I spent 6 months travelling to get her at weekends then I was offered a London based job so I moved to be closer. The mother then called the police and was found armed with a knife threatening to kill herself and with my daughter with her. Social services supported me becoming full time carer. I started her in nursery and had 4 days to decide which school she would go to. I tried to keep the mum involved offering contact with me or her mum present. she committed to seeing my daughter about once a month for a few hours. the mum moved back to leicester and spent the next year dossing on friends sofas, in squats, not working or paying any child support.
I met someone and moved on with my life and her daughter and we all moved in together like a family in london. My ex did not like this and subsequently tried to snatch her back again to put her in a school in leicester however her own mother now sick of the situation had texted me to warn me of her intentions. due to the instability in her mental state and the snatching threat (based on that she had already snathced her back) I suspended all contact until we could go to court.
The mum is now pushing fo full custody in leicester. My daughter is 6 soon and has lived in london for 3 years and with me for the past 2 years.
My daughter has been diagnosed with attachement disorder from the first 3 years of her life with her mum. she is very difficult and can not trust anyone. she has big problems with abandonment but I am the only person she trusts and the only one she has a real bond with.
I feel guilty I have had to suspend contact and know it will look bad in court but the situation I am in now is not one that I got to over night. I have been pushed and backed into a corner over 6 years by past actions from the mothers side.
currently the mum is sending the police to my house as she has concerns about me and my partner. My partner owns a day nursery which is seen as outstanding by offseted ... we live above it. the police said they said she is making waves and for us to expect it to get worse but they need to respond if a child is mentioned.
The mum is now contacting the s
I'm not going to bleet on about how the C.S.A "appears" biased against fathers but more to the point, how when all things being equal like my shared care do I then have to pay the mother when she already earns more than me and receives child benefit?
There was no devine intervention in our daughter being brought into the world. It took two people to make her so I understand when fathers like me "appear" to be rather annoyed at how the system "appears" biased towards us dads. I want to bring up my daughter and want to do it equally with her mother, but please can anyone answer me this...who is financially supporting me to bring up our daughter?
My ex and I split up two years ago and I sit by whilst my ex decides when and if he sees his children (AGED 5 AND 7 )at the weekend. He takes every opportunity to undermine my parenting skills in front of the children and significant others.
He has snatched the children, threatened not too return them and constantly infers he will do what he wants because he has equal PR. He refuses to go to mediation. He refuses to recognise that our children have the right to be listened to and treated with respect.
You can probably begin to understand why I left him.
He is a bully with his own set of issues. His nemesis was being brought up in an authoritarian household from which he cannot escape.
Your probably asking yourself at this point why I do not act to protect myself and my children. It is because we do not live in a perfect world and although I would prefer my children are protected from the emotional roller coaster I would choose damage limitation over alienating a parent.
I can assure you he would not think the same. If the boot was on the other foot I would be fighting residency.
I am single and he refused to have his name on the birth certificate and denied paternity until he found out that it was going to cost him for the test! (digress).
CSA have contacted me today to say that they are going to enforce payments and back payments and they have told me that because he has to pay then he is going to demand that he see her. He is going to start threatening me with contact with my daughter unless I drop the child maintainace.
He doesn't have much to do with his other children from previous relationships and they look at him in a negative light. I do not want this for my child.
Where do I go from here?
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