If a couple separate or divorce there will be many things to consider. These will include how they divide their possessions, what to do with their home, shared finances and other equally important matters. If there are children, within the relationship, maintenance and child support will also become a consideration.
Responsibilities And Obligations
It is a parent’s responsibility and obligation to provide financial support for their children. This is accepted in the form of Child Support, which is paid to the parent the child will continue to live with. This could also be paid to other family members, grandparents or a legal guardian, if this is who the child or children live with.
Child Support payments are made to allow the parent with care to have sufficient funds to cover the costs of raising a child, and should be used to pay for educational and extracurricular activities, clothing, shelter and food.
The parent who retains full-time responsibility for a child, is known as the parent with care and is entitled to receive maintenance from the parent who lives elsewhere. In some cases custody of the child is shared, and the child divides their time between both parents equally. Shared care is usually considered to be the best option for the child, as they will regularly get to benefit from spending time with each parent.
By sharing care and parental responsibilities the 'with care' parents are also agreeing to contribute financially to the costs of the child’s expenses. However, the father will still be expected to pay maintenance to the child’s mother, although the amount payable will be considerably less than if he had limited contact with the child.
Maintenance Payment Limit
Maintenance is calculated by assessing the income of both parents. After pension contributions are deducted maintenance payments are worked out as being 15% of the net sum for one child, 20% for two children and 25% for three or more children. Children from a second family with be treated in the same way, and the number of children will be taken into account when payable maintenance is calculated.
The non resident parent is obligated to pay maintenance towards the cost of their child, until the child reaches the age of 19.
The court can issue orders for a number of different financial reasons.This includes maintenance payments to a former partner, maintenance for children, the provision of a lump sum to a partner and/or children, a property adjustment or transfer of property, or a claim on the other’s person’s pension.
After filing divorce proceedings the man or woman can file a financial claim application. These forms are filled in by both individuals at the same time, and an appointment is then made with the court. Once evidence has been filed a decision is reached in court. The court decides financial issues by examining evidence, the income and earning capacity of both individuals, other financial resources and responsibilities, the standard of living and the contribution each person makes to the welfare of the children.
I walked out of a 90% loving marriage due to depression & PTSD, at the time both of us drank alcohol & she would get violent & then I would retaliate, I am disgusted with my actions, on some occasions the police were involved & saw me in fear but I refused to give evidence, I have previous criminal convictions but nothing while we were married & I did make empty threats during the heat of arguments & called her disgusting disrespectful names on txt msg's which I sincerely apologized for & since then I have stopped drinking alcohol for nearly a year now and I have even stopped smoking tobacco and I am doing alcoholic anonymous and narcotics anonymous and I am living my new life sober & I just want to put my daughter first & what can her mother do to prevent me from getting weekend custody such as my old criminal convictions before I knew her or the fact that I support millwall football club.. or my mental health problems & can social services help secure better accommodation to help me from a dad who wants to see his daughter more & put her needs first..
SadDaD - 16-Apr-20 @ 1:52 AM
My partner has two children with his ex and pays CMS according to the nights that he has them.
Now it has become apparent that when the children are staying overnight night with him the majority of the time they are staying out elsewhere with other family members and not with their mother or within their home. How is it right that she obtains the money from him when they are elsewhere? and if he had his way he'd happily have them 50/50 which provides them with the stability that they need. Is their any way of having this rectified based on them staying out elsewhere when he openly wants them yet she's refused because she will lose money, the system is wrong for so many reasons.
LL84 - 24-Jan-20 @ 9:19 PM
Hi, I am about to divorce from my husband of 9 years. We have an 8 year old boy together. My income is 2000 a month and his is 6000 a month. We still live under the same roof. When discussing about living arrangements and one of us moving out of our home, my partner is refusing to pay any child maintenance and he has decided to have our son with him for half the week so that he does not have to financially support me. With my income, it would be very difficult to rent on my own in London. I am not sure what my rights are, I am worried that if he does not support me financially, I will not be able to rent a house for me and my son and that the court might decide that he can live permanently with his father since he is financially able to raise him. Can you offer advice?
Jen609 - 6-Jan-20 @ 1:17 PM
I have been brought to tears reading some of this page. i am a father of 3 beautiful girls, of whom i have not seen since 2012, due to parent alienation, by the mother. I have paid everything asked, since that time. But just like all the other letters, on this page, apparently, i owe arrears, of which the cms, cannot justify. I do feel for the parents, on the "other side of this story", with scummy ex partners, who do not pay, but i ask these people, to look into their hearts, and see how corrupt this system is, and how it is ruining, honest PAYING, parents. I lost everything in court, trying to fight for my girls, and the mother just sits back and takes, takes, takes. I have been through many breakdowns, and suffered some extremely bad, dark times, only to be rescued by my now wife. My country, and its systems, embarrass me, that a parent can commit child abuse (also known as parent alienation), against honest, loving, kind fathers, like myself, and get away with it, while i, and many others, are being ruined by the system. Good luck to all the people affected by this disgusting, corrupt system, on both sides of the story. I will not let this scummy organisation ruin me, and my wife's lives.
cambridge dad - 14-Oct-19 @ 8:53 PM
Hi I am in the process of leaving my wife but it’s torture as I don’t want to loose my son. We have a mortgage in both our names and she says I’ll be the one to have to move out. I’m so scared of not being able to afford to live anywhere. I earn roughly £1,900 a month and she earns around £1,300. She works 3 days a week so I know she keeps saying there’s no way I’ll get 50/50. Our child nursery bills are around £500 a month. Do I have to pay maintenance and mortgageand nursery bills ? I want to provide as much as I can for my little man as I know this is a horrible choiceI’m making but I need to be able to afford to live somewhere too :( any advice please. Particularly on whether I have to pay maintenance as well has mortgage etc.
Rugbydad - 26-Jun-19 @ 6:59 PM
My ex always tries to get away with minimum payments, minimum time with the kids and minimum input. But we separated mutually (after he'd had several affairs) and so we both still have PR. We both work, meaning I rely on childcare, it costs me around 6000 a year. I only earn 12. Their dad warms a lot more and is remarried. I've mentioned sharing costs of childcare, as he won't help, but he said it's my. Problem and his £40 a week maintenance covers his share. Is this right?
Loopy - 21-Jun-19 @ 3:33 PM
I've been divorced for 7 years and my ex wife has been the parent with care and I have had my two boys overnight an average of 3 nights per week constantly over this period. We have had an ongoing financial arrangement and I have payed an agreed amount each month. Recently my eldest son came to live with me full time, he is 16 and at 6th form college with no income. I also continue to have my youngest son an average of 3 nights per week. I would like to know what, if any payments I should be making to my ex wife.
Bongo - 26-May-19 @ 3:05 PM
Some advice please
I recently left my wife of 5 yrs we have two children aged 8 and 2. At present we have a joint mortgage of 1400 and bills on top etc.
Childcare costs are about £500.
My wife works earns approx 1100 a month.
I earn £3600 a month.
I have the children two nights a week.
How much should I expect to give her a month. Do I have to pay half the mortgage half the bills and pay child maintenance?
George - 19-Apr-19 @ 7:11 PM
I left my husband after 8 months of him drinking every weekend and mentally abussing me or smashing our family home up in front of our 3 year old. He worked but never contributed towards gousebills ir rent i done it all i then fund out he was on dating sites and swing sites when we was still living as husband and wife. He ishas asked ri see his son every other sat 8to4 if i don't agree he is fighting for full custurdy an whar grounds can he do this as he has told everyone i am on drugs and my oldest boy is nuts and he dont wamt our son aroynd him. I got no fight left un my but i am so worried please help me
Jocarter - 24-Oct-18 @ 2:41 PM
I separated from my ex wife 4 yrs ago and we have since divorced. We have 2 children and a house with a mortgage. The house is mine. I bought it, pay the mortgage and the deeds are all in my name. As part of the maintenance package I let her stay in the house with the kids until my youngest is 18 whilst I continue to pay the mortgage whilst I rent elsewhere and she lives in my house rent free.
Will she be entitled to anything from the house when she leaves ?
AJ - 18-Oct-18 @ 4:13 PM
Hi my husband and I have decided to call it quits after finding out he cheated with my sister. I work part time and he takes the children to school while I do pick up. He doesn’t work and is dependent on antidepressants and weed. We live in a temporary accommodation with the tenancy in my name.His family are fighting for him to have full custody and residency. Just unsure of what my options are going forward.
Lee - 6-Oct-18 @ 8:43 PM
DS - Your Question:
My husband has been paying maintenance for his 2 children for the last 14 years, he has not missed any payments and was advised when things changed to the CMO he had to pay via collect and pay, he disagreed and they allowed him to pay half and half. Yesterday he received a letter advising he can now pay all of it via direct pay as he had not defaulted. The same day he had a letter advising him he has £650 arrears, he was also advised that he should be paying £385 per month, he actually pays £450 a month and has done for years! how could he amass arrears ? and surely if they make the calculation based on his HMRC yearly why are they now saying he is in arrears?
I cannot predict why CMS have decided that your husband is in arrears. His only option would be to have this matter investigated, please see the link here.
ChildSupportLaws - 16-Feb-18 @ 11:21 AM
My husband has been paying maintenance for his2 childrenfor the last 14 years, he has not missed any payments and was advised when things changed to the CMO he had to pay via collect and pay, he disagreed and they allowed him to pay half and half. Yesterday he received a letter advising he can now pay all of it via direct pay as he had not defaulted. The same day he had a letter advising him he has £650 arrears, he was also advised that he should be paying £385 per month, he actually pays £450 a month and has done for years! how could he amass arrears ? and surely if they make the calculation based on his HMRC yearly why are they now saying he is in arrears?
DS - 15-Feb-18 @ 6:37 PM
HarryMc - Your Question:
My ex will willingly move out but the she will have to be rehoused by the state in another private or social housing rent where she will again make a housing benefit claim, but what is the sense in her uprooting the children after only just moving to my property. We were told by the council that the claim would be ok and we were transparent with them, they paid one weeks rent the decided they were not paying any more. She would never have moved in knowing a benefit claim wouldn’t be accepted
Unfortunately, we cannot answer your question as it would be up to the appeal panel to decide. We can only offer basic generic advice, not specific case-based advice.
ChildSupportLaws - 26-Jan-18 @ 9:08 AM
My ex will willingly move out but the she will have to be rehoused by the state in another private or social housing rent where she will again make a housing benefit claim, but what is the sense in her uprooting the children after only just moving to my property. We were told by the council that the claim would be ok and we were transparent with them, they paid one weeks rent the decided they were not paying any more.She would never have moved in knowing a benefit claim wouldn’t be accepted
HarryMc - 25-Jan-18 @ 4:23 PM
Flip side- Your Question:
Hi, my husband and I have seperated, we have 2 young kids. My husbands shifts allow for him to watch them during the days whilst I’m at work.He is now fighting for 50/50 custody.My question is , will the courts see because he works shifts that he is able to have more overnights, will I be punished because I work 4 days per week. My ex seems to think a court will side with him. Will I be punished for needing to work to provide a home for my kids?
Neither parent will be 'punished'. As a rule, unless there is a valid reason for wishing to change the current arrangement, a court will always opt for continuity and stability of your child. As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the child in question. The court will always put the child’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order.
ChildSupportLaws - 25-Jan-18 @ 2:45 PM
@HarryMc - you'll have a job on your hands if you wish to evict your ex as because they are your children. If she decides she wants to play awkward, it would be a matter for the courts, and because they are your kids, the court may expect you to house them for free. This is a tricky one!
MattH - 25-Jan-18 @ 12:41 PM
I separated with my ex who I have 2 children with.We separated amicably 6 years since.We had a property together and I have a property that I owned(mortgaged).When we split I gave my ex a lump sum of cash and she moved out of the house.We then arranged a maintenance amount which I have paid every week since.Recently the house I owned previously became available to rent so I suggested she moved in with my two children and her younger child to another man.I have since marriedand have a 2 year old.The council were told before she moved in of our situation and paid the first weeks rent then sent us a letter saying housing benefit cannot be paid as I am responsible for housing my children even though she claimed housing benefit in previous house she gave up.We are currently appealing against the decision.
HarryMc - 24-Jan-18 @ 6:35 PM
Hi, my husband and I have seperated, we have 2 young kids. My husbands shifts allow for him to watch them during the days whilst I’m at work.
He is now fighting for 50/50 custody.
My question is , will the courts see because he works shifts that he is able to have more overnights, will I be punished because I work 4 days per week.
My ex seems to think a court will side with him.
Will I be punished for needing to work to provide a home for my kids?
Flip side - 23-Jan-18 @ 9:03 PM
SooH - Your Question:
My nephew is divorcing. He has one child born during the marriage. His wife has two children from a previous relationship who have lived with them too. Will he have to pay maintenance for them too?
Your nephew is only responsible for paying child maintenance for his biological child. The biological father of the other two children would be deemed responsible for paying towards their day-to-day care.
ChildSupportLaws - 12-Jan-18 @ 2:13 PM
My nephew is divorcing. He has one child born during the marriage. His wife has two children from a previous relationship who have lived with them too. Will he have to pay maintenance for them too?
SooH - 9-Jan-18 @ 3:56 PM
My parents divorced in the 1980s and, because both parents wanted to keep us, social workers then asked us children to choose which parent we’d like to live with. Heartbreaking then and now. Would this be illegal now after the Children Act?
swainwright - 8-Jan-18 @ 2:02 PM
My ex partner has 2 children with his ex wife and 1 with me he currently pays her £330 a month for the 2 with his ex. Would I be entitled to a third of this since we are not living together?
Peanut - 28-Dec-17 @ 3:53 PM
Dominate - Your Question:
HiI am a full-time mother of 3 our youngest is 2/eldest 7 and the house is mortgaged under both names.If we were to separate/divorce what would I be entitled to? I'm worried as I haven't been out to work for 7 years and I'm petrified of losing everything.Thanks
You don't say whether you are married or not, which makes it more difficult to answer your question. However, the CAB link here , should help.
ChildSupportLaws - 1-Dec-17 @ 3:49 PM
Sandy77 - Your Question:
My husband has left me and I’ve been contacted with his ex. he was suppose to pay maintenance to his other children. She has informed me that me ex lied to the csa and said he wasn’t living in the country when he was on a monthly on/off rotate. If I contact the csa with this information what will happen. He now will not pay me maintenance for our children.
We cannot anticipate what will happen, other than CMS will look into any claims. Child maintenance calculations are based upon the non-resident parent's (your husband) earnings and the tax he pays via HMRC.
ChildSupportLaws - 1-Dec-17 @ 2:34 PM
My husband has left me and I’ve been contacted with his ex.... he was suppose to pay maintenance to his other children. She has informed me that me ex lied to the csa and said he wasn’t living in the country when he was on a monthly on/off rotate. If I contact the csa with this information what will happen. He now will not pay me maintenance for our children .
Sandy77 - 27-Nov-17 @ 9:55 PM
I am a full-time mother of 3 our youngest is 2/eldest 7 and the house is mortgaged under both names.
If we were to separate/divorce what would I be entitled to? I'm worried as I haven't been out to work for 7 years and I'm petrified of losing everything.
Dominate - 26-Nov-17 @ 1:01 AM
Myself and husband are divorcing. We have 3 children. Is he still liable to pay towards the mortgage?
Confused80 - 24-Nov-17 @ 7:01 PM
hi i wanted to ask in regards to child support.my parents got divorced so many years ago but we all still lived under the same roof for many years,my parents lived together for 46 years and and divorced by year when i was about 14 now im 29.my dad always paid half the thing and gave mom cash.now my mother has sued him for child support in an effort to destroy him.he is now owing 250.000 in debt of child support.he is 60 years old.we want to fight this so he can be free.what is can be done as me and my sibling are prof that he has alwaysbeen there and my mother is eating money for free.
rj - 17-Nov-17 @ 2:59 PM
I'm currently getting divorced have one daughter who is 4 I'm on low income and my ex is on a higher income than me he pays child maintenance of 30.00 a month my daughter goes to pre school 3 days a week does my ex have to pay nursery fees