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What Are Parents' Rights on Separation?

By: Lorna Elliott LLB (hons), Barrister - Updated: 27 Mar 2018 |
 
Separation Parent Rights Child

The break up of a relationship is always stressful and can leave one or both parents feeling lost, hurt and bewildered. When you separate from the other parent of your child or children, there are certain rights and responsibilities that you need to understand which will help you to make better decisions for yourself and your child.

Parental Responsibility

Mothers automatically have parental responsibility for their children. Fathers also have this right if they were married to the mother when the child was born. If you are an unmarried father, you will have parental responsibility if your name is registered on the child’s birth certificate. You can also get a court order to get parental responsibility of the child, which does not in principle require the consent of the mother. If you separate from your partner and child, you do not lose parental responsibility.

Financial Arrangements For Your Child

When you separate, you will both need to make decisions about the welfare and upbringing of your child. This includes where the child lives and with whom, how the parent who is not living with the child will have contact with the child, and how the child will be supported financially. If you cannot agree this amicably, you will probably need to go to court to have arrangements enforced. Other issues that separating parents should discuss are holidays, education, who has responsibility for taking a child to a doctor, and what would happen if one of you became too ill to care for the child.

It invariably costs more for parents to live apart than together and if financial arrangements are not made this can cause hardship for the child. No matter how angry you feel about what has happened in the break up of your relationship, you should always remember that your child’s needs must come first. If you are able to come to a financial arrangement between yourselves about your child (known as a ‘private agreement’) then that is often best, but it does mean that your arrangement is not legally binding. If payments are not made under a private agreement, the Child Support Agency cannot get involved and help you recover this money.

What If We Can’t Agree?

If you cannot agree payment arrangements amicably, you may decide to use the CSA or get the court to decide. Using the court is likely to cost money, because you will have to pay court fees and will probably need a solicitor. Going to court over child support payments is not covered by legal aid, but if you are already going to court to determine other issues you can decide child support matters at the same time.

You should also look at changing your will after separation, or if you don’t have one, you should definitely make one! If you don’t have a will, your assets will be dealt with under the laws of intestacy. If you do have a will that is out of date, and your ex partner was the main beneficiary, your assets will go to your ex partner on your death.

What About Our Home?

In terms of property, one partner may decide to leave the family home. This can be problematic if the parents aren’t married, especially if a new partner moves in with your ex before arrangements can be finalised. In these situations, it is very important that you speak to a solicitor without delay. If you and your ex partner are married, one person automatically receives the other’s estate on death – which you will want to avoid if you have separated.

You don’t always have to sell your home on separation. You may be able to agree who pays the mortgage, or get a court order as to that effect. One partner may be able to buy the other partner out of the property, or you could decide to sell it at some point in the future.

Do I Have To Go To Court?

Not all separations and divorces end up in court. Some people are content to use a separation agreement, or to enter mediation in order to come to an agreement about issues between you, your partner and your child. Mediation is often much less stressful than having to resort to court action, and can also be cheaper than litigation. That said, you will have to use the court if you decide you are going to divorce. There is no way around this.

Speak To A Solicitor

In short, if you can possibly keep negotiations amicable then this is best. Things do however have a tendency to deteriorate and you can find yourself very short of money, or without a home, or both, if you decide to leave. In these circumstances, you should always contact a solicitor.

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[Add a Comment]
Me and my partner are on the verge of breaking up. We have twin girls (10minths old) and I'm currently 12 weeks pregnant. We all live in his house, my car is the family car. If me and the girls did move out we would live with my parents for a while until we got a house of our own. He doesn't have a clue on dealing with the girls, I'm the one always dealing with them. He never interacts with them either.He drinks alcohol every night (at the least 3 cans of lager, at the most 6 cans), I haven't drunk a drop since before my first pregnancy. I want to know, by law do the children come with me and can I stop him and especially his family from seeing the children??
Twins2017 - 27-Mar-18 @ 10:07 PM
hi. im goin through such a bad time with my ex partner at minute i have 15 yr old boy,she has 11yr old and 6 yr old girld and we have a 2yr old autistic daughter together!im asking my ex to leave as shes made my life hell with her aggression and mental abuse and she trys makin me lose my job and control me. i own my house shes lived in since june 17! i bought in april 17! she he seems to think she can have the house and laughs in my face. im an hgv drver by trade and she purposely tortures me making me stay up all night without no sleep wen i up at 530 am to drive. she keeps threatening set me up so she gets as she wants shes on dla for mental health and plays on ot. im soo deppressed i need her away from me no matter how much it will kill me not seein my baby girl everyday . please advise
Wayne ascroft - 30-Jan-18 @ 1:12 PM
My husband has been caught out lying (not cheating this time) and I have had enough and want to separate and he doesn’t. We have a toddler and I’m currently 7 months pregnant. Our house is in both of our names but I own a higher percentage with a declaration of trust due to me paying the deposit. He refuses to move out or sell and I really can’t live with him without it effecting our children. Where do I stand? I have no where else to live but he could move back with his parents.
M - 28-Jan-18 @ 10:51 PM
Jeffery- Your Question:
My niece has just separated from her boyfriend. He has take her son with him as she has had a few problems with drink and depression. She has also taken 3 overdoses in the last 3 months. Has is getting professional help and has a lot of support in place. Her partner is making it difficult for Her to see her son. He is refusing to let her have her son for the weekend without him being present. Even thou she will not be alone with him as she is staying with me.help please as dont know what we can do.

Our Response:
I am sorry to hear this. Unfortunately, your daughter has two options if she cannot agree with her ex and that is to suggest mediation in the first instance in order to come to a workable arrangement, and if her ex is still being difficult she would have apply to court. As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the child in question. The court will always put the child’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order. Cafcass are also likely to get involved. The Cafcass staff who compile the reports are known as children and family reporters. It’s their job to interview both parents in the case, as well as the children, and any others who might be needed, which could mean social workers, medical professionals, or relatives. From the interviews they conduct, the reporter will determine two things: whether there should be contact allowed, and, if so, how much. It’s a measure of how important the Cafcass recommendation is that the court will almost invariably adhere to it. Once an order is in place, both parents will have to stick to the order.
ChildSupportLaws - 25-Jan-18 @ 12:13 PM
Mommy - Your Question:
Hello. Hope will find some advice here.I am mom of baby boy, and biological father (after DNA test) is more than sure that he can take a full custody of child and take baby away from me.He has never been involved in our presence (just for short time in middle of pregnancy), since then never been interested in baby’s wellbeing and in baby’s existence. because of his emotional behavior we split.I have been reported to police his abusive and threats to police (case is ongoing now). As he is threatening take a child away from me- where do I can seek advice, as I would like to keep Bio Father as far as possible from us.Many thanks

Our Response:
You don't say whether the father is registered on the birth certificate and whether he has parental responsibility. If he doesn't, he cannot take your child away from you, as if he tries the police can intervene. If he does have PR, and you feel he may take your child and refuse to give him back, or you have evidence of threats, then you may wish to apply for a child arrangement order through court which will determine where your child should officially live, please see linkhere.
ChildSupportLaws - 25-Jan-18 @ 10:53 AM
Hello. Hope will find some advice here. I am mom of baby boy, and biological father (after DNA test) is more than sure that he can take a full custody of child and take baby away from me. He has never been involved in our presence (just for short time in middle of pregnancy), since then never been interested in baby’s wellbeing and in baby’s existence . because of his emotional behavior we split. I have been reported to police his abusive and threats to police (case is ongoing now). As he is threatening take a child away from me- where do I can seek advice, as I would like to keep Bio Father as far as possible from us. Many thanks
Mommy - 24-Jan-18 @ 11:11 AM
My niece has just separated from her boyfriend. He has take her son with him as she has had a few problems with drink and depression. She has also taken 3 overdoses in the last 3 months. Has is getting professional help and has a lot of support in place. Her partner is making it difficult for Her to see her son. He is refusing to let her have her son for the weekend without him being present. Even thou she will not be alone with him as she is staying with me.help please as dont know what we can do.
Jeffery - 24-Jan-18 @ 7:48 AM
Juliet - Your Question:
Hi, just looking for some advice. I have a 3 month old son, and we live in my partners house- the mortgage is fully his. I dont want to be with him anymore due to constant rows and argurments in front of our son. I dont work, he earns the money and owns the house so how do I go about leaving him? I dont know where to start or what to do!

Our Response:
The CAB link here, should answer your question in full. If you are the primary carer of your son then you may have some rights to stay in the house. Much depends upon the length you have been with your partner etc. The article will elaborate more regarding this.
ChildSupportLaws - 22-Jan-18 @ 10:33 AM
Hi, just looking for some advice. I have a 3 month old son, and we live in my partners house- the mortgage is fully his. I dont want to be with him anymore due to constant rows and argurments in front of our son. I dont work, he earns the money and owns the house so how do i go about leaving him? I dont know where to start or what to do!
Juliet - 21-Jan-18 @ 1:35 PM
Lonely dad - Your Question:
Hi, my wife walked out a few months ago, taking my 12 yo with her. Things have been rocky since then between me and my ex, which has caused problems with our son. She let's him decide what he wants to do so therefore I do not see him for a couple of weeks at a time, even though they are very close. I also feel because she's living with her sister there is a bad influence from them, even though my ex says they just say do what you want to him. I believe that doesn't help, as he will feel obliged to stay close to his mum. Because of the problem between my ex and me (mainly because of me having a mental breakdown) communication is hard and sometimes none. I want to see my son more often but what's the easiest way without court? Thank you

Our Response:
Anything that you cannot resolve between you and your ex directly/mutually, should be resolved through mediation, please see link here.
ChildSupportLaws - 15-Jan-18 @ 3:19 PM
Hi, my wife walked out a few months ago, taking my 12 yo with her. Things have been rocky since then between me and my ex, which has caused problems with our son. She let's him decide what he wants to do so therefore I do not see him for a couple of weeks at a time, even though they are very close. I also feel because she's living with her sister there is a bad influence from them, even though my ex says they just say do what you want to him. I believe that doesn't help, as he will feel obliged to stay close to his mum. Because of the problem between my ex and me (mainly because of me having a mental breakdown) communication is hard and sometimes none. I want to see my son more often but what's the easiest way without court? Thank you
Lonely dad - 13-Jan-18 @ 10:34 AM
Hello. Hope will find here some advice I am a mom of 6monyhs old baby, baby’s biological father never been involved in pregnancy time and since now. As we have difficult relationships- I have been reported to police his abusive behavior/ and like to revenge he wants to make a DNA and as he will be proven as father- he wants to make full custody of child and take him absolutely away from me. I am desperate and in schock- because do not know what to expect- I am desperate to loose my child. Please can you give some advice Many thanks
Desperate - 26-Dec-17 @ 9:53 PM
H - Your Question:
Me and my ex have been separated for a few years now and things were always quite easy to resolve and to organise between us both and we were very civil up until the last 6 months where it has been a nightmare. I want to change the days/times that my daughter goes to her dads house but I’m worried about the backlash. He always acts like he has a big chip on his shoulder and that he misses out. We changed the times etc so that he saw her a little bit more but I don’t feel as though it’s beneiftting her. She’s unsettled and is having accidents at bedtime and sometimes during the day, she’s been referred to a clinic because of this. Her dad has a new girlfriend and has bought a house with all all in the last few months and that has defiantly taken a role in her being unsettled and it’s just not fair on her. I would rather he only saw her every second weekend and that she stayed with me through the week for school etc, my job allows me to be there to drop and pick her up everyday. I’m there 24/7. I just don’t no if I have a leg to stand on and what to do now.

Our Response:
Obviously, if the other parent is your child's father, then it is likely he is going to be upset over any changes in the arrangement if it means seeing his child less. Therefore, your only option would be to suggest mediation as a way of trying to negotiate around this issue. If your ex disagrees with your suggestions, then he will have the option to take the matter to court. As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the child in question. The court will always put the child’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order.
ChildSupportLaws - 5-Dec-17 @ 11:49 AM
Me and my ex have been separated for a few years now and things were always quite easy to resolve and to organise between us both and we were very civil up until the last 6 months where it has been a nightmare. I want to change the days/times that my daughter goes to her dads house but I’m worried about the backlash. He always acts like he has a big chip on his shoulder and that he misses out. We changed the times etc so that he saw her a little bit more but I don’t feel as though it’s beneiftting her. She’s unsettled and is having accidents at bedtime and sometimes during the day, she’s been referred to a clinic because of this. Her dad has a new girlfriend and has bought a house with all all in the last few months and that has defiantly taken a role in her being unsettled and it’s just not fair on her.I would rather he only saw her every second weekend and that she stayed with me through the week for school etc, my job allows me to be there to drop and pick her up everyday. I’m there 24/7. I just don’t no if I have a leg to stand on and what to do now.
H - 4-Dec-17 @ 8:40 PM
Me and my ex have been separated for a few years now and things were always quite easy to resolve and to organise between us both and we were very civil up until the last 6 months where it has been a nightmare. I want to change the days/times that my daughter goes to her dads house but I’m worried about the backlash. He always acts like he has a big chip on his shoulder and that he misses out. We changed the times etc so that he saw her a little bit more but I don’t feel as though it’s beneiftting her. She’s unsettled and is having accidents at bedtime and sometimes during the day, she’s been referred to a clinic because of this. Her dad has a new girlfriend and has bought a house with all all in the last few months and that has defiantly taken a role in her being unsettled and it’s just not fair on her.I would rather he only saw her every second weekend and that she stayed with me through the week for school etc, my job allows me to be there to drop and pick her up everyday. I’m there 24/7. I just don’t no if I have a leg to stand on and what to do now.
H - 4-Dec-17 @ 6:27 PM
sressed mom - Your Question:
I am a mother of 3 yrs old son his father and I got separated the past few month we were never marriednow that ive decided to end things with him he claims that he wants full custody of our son and the thing is that he want to take him to mozambique am afraid I might not see him ever again What should I do ??

Our Response:
Your ex must get the permission from you to take a child abroad, please see link here. If you refuse, then he would have to apply to court. Unless your ex is the day-to-day primary carer of yours/his child, then it is unlikely he would be given permission to take your child out of the country, unless you agree.
ChildSupportLaws - 4-Dec-17 @ 11:50 AM
I am a mother of 3 yrs old son his father and i got separated the past few month we were never married now that ive decided to end things with him he claims that he wants full custody of our son and the thing is that he want totake him to mozambique am afraid i might not see him ever again What should i do ??
sressed mom - 3-Dec-17 @ 6:41 PM
Hello. Would like to ask for advice regards my situation, as I am desperate and in real fear to loose my baby. Situation is- I split with biological baby’s dad at 4/5 month of pregnancy- due to his abusive behavior, mostly emotional abusive, the same behavior continued for a while (when I was pregnant ) - abusive and negative, even threats to kill. I blocked him everywhere I could- because his behavior made me stressed. Then he started to send deadly threats to my present boyfriend (threats with weapons) and in last days of my pregnancy he send a threats to kill all my family.. During this time- he never asked about how is pregancy going. I had a extremely hard birth of my baby- my present partner was only one there for me, like all pregnancy time.... He is the best dad I could imagine.. I reported to police all ex- partner (baby’s natural dad abuse), he got catched now (baby is 5 months) and again is threatening me- that he will took away baby, he will request DNA and will put me in prison (I had been in police in past, but never been convicted- always been not guilty), he is saying to police fault statements regard my past police deals and threaten me- that because of that he will put me in prison, take away baby. He is lying to police that my friends are criminal, alkoholocs etc and he want save the baby from bad people... But all this time (when ai blocked him- he has NEVER asked a word Regards baby wellbeing, health etc) I am afraid that he can do it, take away m baby - he is criminal, dangerous person- where can I seek for legal advice and help and get ready to defense myself in court and keep rights for my baby.. Thank you
Desperate mom - 24-Nov-17 @ 3:30 PM
Hello. Would like to ask for advice regards my situation, as I am desperate and in real fear to loose my baby. Situation is- I split with biological baby’s dad at 4/5 month of pregnancy- due to his abusive behavior, mostly emotional abusive, the same behavior continued for a while (when I was pregnant ) - abusive and negative, even threats to kill. I blocked him everywhere I could- because his behavior made me stressed. Then he started to send deadly threats to my present boyfriend (threats with weapons) and in last days of my pregnancy he send a threats to kill all my family.. During this time- he never asked about how is pregancy going. I had a extremely hard birth of my baby- my present partner was only one there for me, like all pregnancy time.... He is the best dad I could imagine.. I reported to police all ex- partner (baby’s natural dad abuse), he got catched now (baby is 5 months) and again is threatening me- that he will took away baby, he will request DNA and will put me in prison (I had been in police in past, but never been convicted- always been not guilty), he is saying to police fault statements regard my past police deals and threaten me- that because of that he will put me in prison, take away baby. He is lying to police that my friends are criminal, alkoholocs etc and he want save the baby from bad people... But all this time (when ai blocked him- he has NEVER asked a word Regards baby wellbeing, health etc) I am afraid that he can do it, take away m baby - he is criminal, dangerous person- where can I seek for legal advice and help and get ready to defense myself in court and keep rights for my baby.. Thank you
Desperate mom - 24-Nov-17 @ 3:25 PM
Kelli - Your Question:
Good morning I am just looking for some advice really myself and the children dad separated 9 years ago and access was agreed and this happened every Friday night 3:15pm till 6 pm on a Saturday, however this changed and he started having the 2 boys Friday night and collected the 2 girls Saturday and would have all 4 till the sunday! He will also have them a week out of the 6 week holidays! However on Tuesday night he messaged me! Please see below“Kelli me and rachael need a child free wkend every other wkend since we have been together we only been out twice and really its toll out off us and putting a strain on are relationship isn't a lot to ask but we do need this and it is not that I don't want to see the kids just we need to arrange things that are best for both of us if you want to talk about this face to face that would be great” Rachel is his new partner of 7 months whom has 2 children of her own which my children dad has moved in with!!!My problem is he dropped the weekends down already to 3 weekends on and 1 off to spend time with his new partner, I did start a new job back in January that requires myself to work weekends which before taking checked with dad this was ok which his response was I have the kids anyway so makes no odds.My children are aged 15, 14, 11 and 12 the 12 year old does have autism and doesn’t do change he is quite structured. I don’t think I’m been unreasonable which contact as I don’t receive any money for the children from their father! What can I legally do or is there any responsibility to have the children, as you would understand my Autistic sons welfare is paramount and he emotionally will not handle the changes I have spoken to his school and they have said the same he attends a specialist inclusive centre school, can you advise me on what legally he has to have the children, on advise from the school I understand my Autistic child’s needs are more then the other 3 children’s as he is mentally 5.I am willing to write a contract that we both sign and agree too been 3 weekends on 1 off for him but shared holidays can you please point me or advise me what is correct.Kindest regardsKelli

Our Response:
If you cannot agree between you, then you would really need to suggest mediation to your ex in order to come to a compromise. However, a court will not force a non-resident parent to have their children, if and where they do not wish to have their children (court is usually the last resort option). Mediation is when two or more parties meet to resolve problems before the matter reaches court. It is a formal negotiation and courts can accept the agreement of the mediation instead of having to go through the court process, although it is subject to final court approval. Mediation takes place in front of a neutral third party. The mediator has no pre-conceptions and will not force you to make an agreement. They will assist the two parties in taking turns in the conversation, and helping you reach a decision that you are ready to agree with. Mediators do not pass judgment or offer guidance; they are there, in effect, to facilitate conversation between the two sides.
ChildSupportLaws - 23-Oct-17 @ 12:01 PM
Good morning I am just looking for some advice really myself and the children dad separated 9 years ago and access was agreed and this happened every Friday night 3:15pm till 6 pm on a Saturday, however this changed and he started having the 2 boys Friday night and collected the 2 girls Saturday and would have all 4 till the sunday! He will also have them a week out of the 6 week holidays! However on Tuesday night he messaged me! Please see below “Kelli me and rachael need a child free wkend every other wkend since we have been together we only been out twice and really its toll out off us andputting a strain on are relationship isn't a lot to ask but we do need this and it is not that I don't want to see the kids just we need to arrange things that are best for both of us if you want to talk about this face to face that would be great” Rachel is his new partner of 7 months whom has 2 children of her own which my children dad has moved in with!!! My problem is he dropped the weekends down already to 3 weekends on and 1 off to spend time with his new partner, I did start a new job back in January that requires myself to work weekends which before taking checked with dad this was ok which his response was I have the kids anyway so makes no odds. My children are aged 15, 14, 11 and 12 the 12 year old does have autism and doesn’t do change he is quite structured. I don’t think I’m been unreasonable which contact as I don’t receive any money for the children from theirfather! What can I legally door is there any responsibility to have the children, as you would understand my Autistic sons welfare is paramount and he emotionally will not handle the changes I have spoken to his school and they have said the same he attends a specialist inclusive centre school, can you advise me on what legally he has to have the children, on advise from the school I understand my Autistic child’s needs are more then the other 3 children’s as he is mentally 5... I am willing to write a contract that we both sign and agree too been 3 weekends on 1 off for him but shared holidays can you please point me or advise me what is correct. Kindest regards Kelli
Kelli - 22-Oct-17 @ 9:31 AM
Ramy - Your Question:
HiI lived with my partner 2 years and one week ago I gave burt to my daughter butI would like to mention that my partner is no longer living with me at the same address and I remained single mother and sole support. What should I do pleaseI need to say that im a single mother

Our Response:
You can see what you need to do via the Citizens Advice Bureau link here.
ChildSupportLaws - 19-Oct-17 @ 2:38 PM
Hi I lived with my partner 2 years and one week ago i gave burt to my daughter but I would like to mention that my partner is no longer living with me at the same address and I remained single mother and sole support. What should i do please I need to say that im a single mother
Ramy - 17-Oct-17 @ 10:55 PM
Kevin - Your Question:
Me and my ex partner were in a relationship for a year when we had our 7month old son. We both have our own homes but the childs lives with his mum. I only see my son when it suits her, she never calls me to let me know how my son is and most of the time when I get in contact with her to talk to the child she makes up excuses so I cant see him. I dont know what people are around my son and anytime I try to make arrangements every week and all I get is a load verbal abuse down the phone! She also wont allow my child to come to my house. My house is a nice tidy home and there no reason why I should suffer like this. Im scared if I go to court it could cause more trouble than good. I need help ASAP as it is making me very depressed and hurt that im missing out on being with my son when hes growing up and learning!

Our Response:
Before you are allowed to apply to court for access, you are required to attend or ask your ex if she will consider attending mediation in order to come to an agreement regarding access. Taking the matter to court can be very stressful and emotionally upsetting, especially if your ex decides to withdraw all access while the court case is pending. However, in some cases it is necessary in order to get regular access to see your child, or you end up living in a state of limbo. You may wish to seek legal advice in order to fully explore your options.
ChildSupportLaws - 12-Oct-17 @ 11:07 AM
Me and my ex partner were in a relationship for a year when we had our 7month old son. We both have our own homes but the childs lives with his mum. I only see my son when it suits her, she never calls me to let me know how my son is and most of the time when i get in contact with her to talk to the child she makes up excuses so i cant see him. I dont know what people are around my son and anytime i try to make arrangements every week and all i get is a load verbal abuse down the phone! She also wont allow my child to come to my house. My house is a nice tidy home and there no reason why i should suffer like this. Im scared if i go to court it could cause more trouble than good. I need help ASAP as it is making me very depressed and hurt that im missing out on being with my son when hes growing up and learning!
Kevin - 10-Oct-17 @ 8:22 PM
Lee - Your Question:
I have been with my partner 5 years and have 2 young children together. We've recently split and he owns the house we live in. Would I have any rights to stay in this property? He's plan is to sell it in the fu ture.

Our Response:
You can see more via the CAB link here which will highlight your options. You might also wish to seek some legal advice regarding this matter.
ChildSupportLaws - 8-Aug-17 @ 12:08 PM
I have been with my partner 5 years and have 2 young children together. We've recently split and he owns the house we live in. Would I have any rights to stay in this property? He's plan is to sell it in the fu ture.
Lee - 7-Aug-17 @ 8:37 AM
Lou - Your Question:
Me and my ex partner (of 13years) we have a 4yr old. we went to court last year over child arrangements and basically he has never stuck to it and continuously uses work as an excuse for not having our son when he should not to mention his social life now! Me and my family bend over backwards to accommodate him when we shouldn't and it's so frustrating. not to mention the inconsistently of his parenting with our son who doesn't know from one week to the next when he will see his Dad, it's always left to me to let our son know daddy won't be picking him up etc. I work yet I have to work around our son I can't start work when they need me to but as a parent you have to work around it it just seems he can do what he wants yet the minute I was to breach the court order he'd have me dragged back to court. Luckily our son is still young and doesn't really ask where daddy is. He's always late, then turns up no explanation or anything, lies about working away and is very much on holiday, ditches his son on the days he's meant to have him to take other people away, he just expects me and my family to be there when he can't. He just doesn't think about our son or put him first! I want to know where I stand in terms of putting a stop to this and basically telling him what's gunna happen if he doesn't abide by the order! He also doesn't pay his child maintenance on time or at all, at the moment when he's in work and has a good job, he's been on 2 holidays this year and did not send a penny for his son it does go through child maintenenance but they seem to keep giving him chance after chance to pay so it's like no matter what he has a court order or child maintenance he doesn't abide by anything and does as he pleases! Any advice would be great.

Our Response:
The courts' guidance states that unless a breach is regular and intentional, they will not usually take action to enforce the order or punish the breach. Further it is important to consider the needs of your child first and so some flexibility may be needed on occasion. However, if your ex is consistently breaching the order, then you should note each time down each time he commits a breach, should you need this as evidence in court later on. As a rule, any changes to a contact order must be agreed by both parties. One party cannot unilaterally decide to change the order or apply additional terms. If they wish to do so, they will need to refer the matter back to the courts. If your ex is flouting this, then he is breaching the order. A solicitor's letter reminding your ex of the terms of the order and what your actions will be if he does not keep to the terms may do the trick
ChildSupportLaws - 27-Jul-17 @ 11:17 AM
Me and my ex partner (of 13years) we have a 4yr old.we went to court last year over child arrangements and basically he has never stuck to it and continuously uses work as an excuse for not having our son when he should not to mention his social life now!Me and my family bend over backwards to accommodate him when we shouldn't and it's so frustrating.... not to mention the inconsistently of his parenting with our son who doesn't know from one week to the next when he will see his Dad, it's always left to me to let our son know daddy won't be picking him up etc.I work yet I have to work around our son I can't start work when they need me to but as a parent you have to work around it it just seems he can do what he wants yet the minute I was to breach the court order he'd have me dragged back to court.Luckily our son is still young and doesn't really ask where daddy is.He's always late, then turns up no explanation or anything, lies about working away and is very much on holiday, ditches his son on the days he's meant to have him to take other people away, he just expects me and my family to be there when he can't.He just doesn't think about our son or put him first! I want to know where I stand in terms of putting a stop to this and basically telling him what's gunna happen if he doesn't abide by the order!He also doesn't pay his child maintenance on time or at all, at the moment when he's in work and has a good job, he's been on 2 holidays this year and did not send a penny for his son it does go through child maintenenance but they seem to keep giving him chance after chance to pay so it's like no matter what he has a court order or child maintenance he doesn't abide by anything and does as he pleases! Any advice would be great.
Lou - 25-Jul-17 @ 2:42 PM
Hi I'm married and on 10 years route to get British passport n my three year old gilt is British if I want separation cos there are so much problems in life don't need this hell life what's are mymother right towards my British child but I have no job and house can I my baby with me ? What could I do?
Rita - 20-Jul-17 @ 12:08 AM
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