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What Rights Does My Ex Have With Regards to Our Children?

By: Elizabeth Mugan BA/BSc, PGDipLaw, BVC, CIArb - Updated: 23 Jul 2016 |
 
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We get many comments and questions from you about child support. We've taken a selection of your comments addressing the issue of keeping contact with your children and the fear of your ex taking them from you - and asked our expert to give some comprehensive information and advice.

The traditional view of the family set up has become something of a minority in 21st century society and because of this, a broken down relationship can lead to complicated legal issues. Whether you are recently divorced and wondering about the role your ex-husband has in your child's life, or you have a child from a relationship that has broken down, but were never married, you need to understand your legal position when it comes to creating an amicable situation for your child to grow up in. Here we aim to dispel some of the myths about parental access and to give you the advice you need to rebuild your life and your children's lives.

Parental Responsibility

Parental responsibility (also known as PR) creates "responsibilities" rather than "rights" regardless of whatever the state of the parents' relationship, emphasising the view that each will maintain an equal, shared and continuing responsibility towards the child.

Where both the mother and the father have PR, they have the power to act alone unless there is a circumstance where, by law, each person with PR is to give consent i.e. in the case of adoption. In reality, holding PR gives the ability to make decisions in relation to the child's name, religion, school, consent to medical treatment and marriage etc.

Who has Parental Responsibility?

Below is a flow chart to help you determine if you have Parental Responsibility:

A mother always has PR. A father who is married to the mother at the time of birth will automatically have PR.

To clarify, for unmarried fathers, the situation is different. Unmarried fathers will have PR if:

  • They marry the mother after the child is born
  • They have jointly registered the child's birth with the mother i.e. their name is on the birth certificate
  • For pre December 2003 registrations, the mother provides a formal declaration of agreement that the father's name is to be added to the birth record and the father re-registers the birth to add his details
  • The court orders a residence order in favour of the father, although this will usually terminate when the resident order ends (generally age 16)
  • A birth parent has signed a parental responsibility agreement
  • A step-parent's PR agreement can be made by consent with all those already having PR for the child
  • By obtaining an adoption order from the court

Where a father has not automatically gained PR, the mother does not have to add the father's name to the birth certificate. However, this will not stop the father from being able to apply to the court for an order, such as a parental responsibility order, which may result in him acquiring PR.

Other family members

Other family members, taking grandparents as an example, do not automatically have PR. They would only be granted PR by a court if, for example, they were appointed as Guardian or were to adopt their grandchild for any reason. If a father with PR asks his parents to take care of the child, they can do so usually without the mother's agreement. However, the child would not be able to remain resident with the grandparents unless they had been granted a residency order by the court.

Voluntary access arrangements

If more than one of you has PR, then the best thing you can do for both your children and yourselves is to voluntarily agree to contact and access etc. If you can do this, then you are more likely to maintain a more harmonious relationship for the sake of your children. Additionally, it will prevent you from having to go to court and from having to pay court and solicitor's fees if you are unable to get legal aid.

Of course, this is the ideal scenario and not always a realistic one. If you cannot agree on residence and contact etc. then you may find that your ex will end up applying to the court for an order.

My Child has Been Taken Away From Me: What Can I Do?

Unfortunately in some circumstances, a father may take your child during agreed contact time and then refuse to bring them home again. If this happens and you are unable to negotiate with the father then you should call the police. However, the police may not be able to do anything. This generally comes down to whether or not the father has PR. If they do not, then the child is the mother's sole responsibility and the police may be able to take the child back to the mother. If the father does have PR, then in usual circumstances, they have the same rights as the mother to look after the child and therefore, so long as the child is not in any harm, the police cannot usually do anything about it. This can be understandably distressing for a mother. What can be done about it?

Residence Orders

A person can make an application for a residence order, whether or not they have PR. For example, a father without PR can make an application for and be granted residency but then he will automatically acquire PR at the same time. It is unusual for a father to be granted residency as well as a mother as this would result in shared residency, which is not always in the best interests of the child. As a result, it is usually the mother who would be granted sole residency.

If a child has been taken by their father and the police cannot do anything, the mother can make an application for a residency order. If the child was snatched or she believes that her child may be in danger, then she can apply for an emergency ex parte application. This is also known as a 'without notice application' i.e. the other party is not given notice of the application. If the mother cannot make an ex parte application then an application can still be made but the father can attend and make his case. At the end of the hearing, the judge will make an order.

There are lots of other orders which the court can make, including contact orders, prohibited steps orders and specific issue orders.

What Factors Will be Taken Into Account?

When reviewing applications, the court will take a number of factors into consideration with regards to the child or children's welfare. These are:

  1. What is best for the child and the feelings and wishes of the child. This is considered according to the child's age and understanding
  2. How capable the parents (and any other relevant people) are of meeting the needs of the child or children
  3. Any harm that the child is at risk of suffering or has suffered
  4. The likely effect of a change of circumstances on the child
  5. The age, background, personality, sex and any other characteristics that the Court believes to be relevant
  6. The child's emotional, physical and educational needs

Domestic abuse

If you have been subjected to domestic abuse, this would clearly be a very important factor for the court to consider when determining what will be in the best interests of the child. If the father makes an application to the court then you can oppose it by giving evidence as to why he should not be given the order. You can oppose any application in much the same way.

Reality Check

When you find yourself fighting to look after your own child your emotions can begin to take over. It is important when you begin to plan your child's parenting and the access of the father that you understand the law and how it might impact on your child's future.

Remember that if your child's father is on the birth certificate, or you were married and are now divorced, the father has the same access to the child as you do in the eyes of the law. If they take your child or even threaten to do so, the police can often be powerless to change the situation. The best advice is to seek mediation and organise access in a written agreement, give yourself something concrete to work from. If your ex is unreasonable then apply for a residency order to ensure that you keep custody of your child.

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[Add a Comment]
Am hard working mum of 5yr my ex over past few years has done nothing with her he is drug users and sell drugs since last left he has call me names and abuse me ect and because if one mistake being drunk with 5yr he has taken her away from me till social worker look into both our life's am so scared that he take her away from me
Jade - 23-Jul-16 @ 12:52 PM
My daughter split with her partner 6 months ago and is now seeing someone else, he is now threathing to take her to court over custody of their 3 year old daughter. What can she do?
Den - 23-Jul-16 @ 9:26 AM
Charlie - Your Question:
Hi I need some advice. I applied to csa so my sons dad would start to make payment for our child. unfortunately my sons dad is to say the least a not very nice man, he is denying he is my sons father. Csa have told me that is he says he is not the father they will offer him a DNA test if he accepts that when it comes back he is the father to my son would he then have rights to see my son?

Our Response:
If the DNA result comes back positive then as well as contributing financially to your son's day-to-day welfare, your son's father will also be entitled to apply to the courts to see your/his child. However, it will be up to the court to decide what is in your son's best interests when making the decision.
ChildSupportLaws - 18-Jul-16 @ 1:54 PM
Hi I need some advice.. I applied to csa so my sons dad would start to make payment for our child.. unfortunately my sons dad is to say the least a not very nice man, he is denying he is my sons father. Csa have told me that is he says he is not the father they will offer him a DNA test if he accepts that when it comes back he is the father to my son would he then have rights to see my son?
Charlie - 17-Jul-16 @ 7:35 PM
I spilt with my ex 2 and a half years ago. We have both moved on, he is engaged and his fiancé lives with him. I have been in a relationship for 6 months. I have never had an issue with his fiancé and I drop my daughter off to her on a Monday at 4pm until her dad finishes work at 5pm and there has never been any problems with anything regarding my daughter seeing her. But when it comes to my relationship, my daughters dad is literally calling the shots! He's always wanted it his way or no way. My daughter has met and spent time with my new partner and they get on great and I recently made the desicion to let him stay 2 nights. This was a great couple of days where again my daughter and partner got on brilliantly. But my ex is saying that he isn't allowed to stay over again unless I discuss it with him and when I did do this he has said that my partner can't stay! I've told him to leave me alone and let me get on with things without him calling the shots but now he's threatening with crb/drug tests and police against my partner who certainly hasn't done anything wrong and has said that he can stop him from being around my daughter!Can he do this?Please help.
JJ - 15-Jul-16 @ 9:20 AM
Have been split from my ex husband for 3 and a half years, he has the girls every fortnight and see them for two hours on a tuesday and thursday every week but never helps out with school holidays which I have come to accept and so make all the arrangement needed with family they see daily. My ex's mum lives in Wales and only see's the children 3/4 times max a year, she has mental health issues and a on/off partner who she is always calling the police on living with her... My Ex husband asked to take the girls there for a week in the summer holidays and leave them there alone without him! I said that this was a bad idea for them to be alone with them and if he was staying it would be totally different. Hours later he called to say that he would just take them and "tough" saying he can do what he like's because he's their father. Can he really just take our children and dump them at his mums for a week??? Please help
Tp - 13-Jul-16 @ 10:59 AM
Hi, I have a 4 year old daughter with my ex and was wondering if there is anything I can do to stop him having acess to her. We spilt up due to domestic violence he was convicted on 2 separate occasions but I didn't get a restraining order as I thought it was important that my daughter had a relationship with her father.It's been nearly 2 years since we separated I have tried my hardest for him to be part of her life I have even given him money to take her places but he isn't consistent and sometimes we don't hear from him for months then he turns up out of the blue saying he will start seeing her more but he doesn't. It is really starting to affect my daughter she gets so upset when he doesn't come when he has said he will,she asked me why her daddy doesn't love her because he doesn't come and see her like her friends daddies do. I've tried everything to make proper arrangements but he doesn't care he does what he wants when he wants and it's not fair on my daughter.
sam - 12-Jul-16 @ 7:41 PM
I split from my eldest daughters mother a few years back, my daughter suffers with CMD (congenital musular dystrophy) She is unable to walk or talk due to this condition but she is a very happy child, I as her father has always played a key role in her development along with my wife, her step mum who adores her, myself and my wife have set up a champaign called root for rubie so we can get a sensary garden put in to help towards her future needs and development, however my ex still acts like a child and still acts like she holds all the cards and goes on lile me and my wife do not hold any parental responsilbility, we have my daughter over ever other weekend, 4 days out of the month is what she will allow, Over recent weeks myself and my wife have managed to get her walking abit using a walker, so some progress there but her mother claims she does all the work, when infact she does hardly any even though my daughter lives with her. It is coming up to me and my wifes daughters first birthday, so my youngests, my ex will not let my eldest come to her first birthday party that has been set up by ourselves in a community centre because she believes that my eldests teachers retirement due is more important than her sisters first birthday. What can we do about that before it's to late and how can we stop being made to feel like if we do this or that my ex will say we are not seeing her again. My ex is very cold hearted and she hates my youngest daughter and she is only 11 months old. We are afraid that if we ask for more time with my eldest or just keep her at our house instead of having to take her back to a flat we will not see her again. Remember she has special needs and we do not get any help with her at all, we have to do it all ourselves unlike her mother. We have the papers for a residantcey order at home and filled out, what will this do for us and how will this affect anything.
PJ85 - 11-Jul-16 @ 10:40 AM
I split from my sons dad 4.5 years ago, I now have a new boyfriend who I've been with for nearly 2 years. Recently things got out of hand we argued which lead to my boyfriend getting angry and hitting me (I must state my son was not in the house when this happened and although my boyfriend hit me I was not black and blue). I was so shocked that I did get the police involved and my boyfriend was arrested. I felt as though he needed to be taught a lesson and what he did was wrong and should never happen again. This give him the shock of his life and made him realise he was totally in the wrong. The police advised him to seek medical advice as this was totally out of his character, he has been and has been diagnosed with depression. But now my sons dad is threatening to take him away from me as he says he doesn't want him living in a household of abuse (my boyfriend does not live with me). I don't want him taking my son away from me as he would have to go to a new school and have no family near by. I have already stressed that if he doesn't want my son near my boyfriend then I won't let him but he is having non of it. Please help me.
CD - 8-Jul-16 @ 1:15 PM
I split from my sons dad 4.5 years ago, I now have a new boyfriend who I've been with for nearly 2 years. Recently things got out of hand we argued which lead to my boyfriend getting angry and hitting me (I must state my son was not in the house when this happened and although my boyfriend hit me I was not black and blue). I was so shocked that I did get the police involved and my boyfriend was arrested. I felt as though he needed to be taught a lesson and what he did was wrong and should never happen again. This give him the shock of his life and made him realise he was totally in the wrong. The police advised him to seek medical advice as this was totally out of his character, he has been and has been diagnosed with depression. But now my sons dad is threatening to take him away from me as he says he doesn't want him living in a household of abuse (my boyfriend does not live with me). I don't want him taking my son away from me as he would have to go to a new school and have no family near by. I have already stressed that if he doesn't want my son near my boyfriend then I won't let him but he is having non of it. Please help me.
CD - 8-Jul-16 @ 12:21 PM
Hi I split from my sons father 8 years ago he hasn't seen him for 3 years. My son who is 12 now changed his surname to his stepdads surname. He has been in his life for the past 5 years. But now my x husband wants his name changed back to his but my son doesn't want to. He's threatening to go to court over it. Can my son keep his stepfathers surname?
Jill - 7-Jul-16 @ 2:30 PM
art - Your Question:
My ex girlfriend has started seeing the father of her previous son after we've split, hes six and during our 5 year relationship he made minimal effort with his son i.e. visiting a handful of times a year. since i've left hes been spending time with my ex whilst my 3 year old daughter has been present. in the past this man has threatened to have my children taken away from me as well as having said a host of other spiteful things. what rights do I have as a PR to keep my child away from him?

Our Response:
Unfortunately, you have no rights regarding who your ex sees and who she introduces to your daughter, unless you think the person may act harmfully to your child, in which case you may be able to apply for a Specific Issue Order. Specific Issue Orders, much like the name suggests, are orders sought from the family court to determine a particular matter in connection with the exercise of Parental Responsibility. These orders can cover a wide range of issues that you and your ex-partner cannot agree on, such as peventing someone from having contact with your child. As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the child in question. The court will always put the child’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order. Mediation may also be an option if you are concerned for your child's welfare - however, your ex would have to be willing to attend. I hope this helps.
ChildSupportLaws - 6-Jul-16 @ 2:31 PM
My ex girlfriend has started seeing the father of her previous son after we've split, hes six and during our 5 year relationship he made minimal effort with his son i.e. visiting a handful of times a year. since i've left hes been spending time with my ex whilst my 3 year old daughter has been present. in the past this man has threatened to have my children taken away from me as well as having said a host of other spiteful things. what rights do i have as a PR to keep my child away from him?
art - 5-Jul-16 @ 9:27 PM
Nelon - Your Question:
I split from my ex 8 weeks ago. At the time he said he wanted our daughter as he wanted not ever week as he wasn't giving me free time. He recently rang telling me to go kill myself one on many unpleasant I interactions. He has now decided he wants to have her over night. But he doesn't want give me his address. I know it is purely out of spite as using her is the only way to get to me. As any parent would be I dont feel comfortable her being somewhere I don't know or know where she is. Where do I stand. Do I have to allow home to have her over night?? I don't want to end up in court, I don't mind him having her. I just want to know where she is. He has also said I cannot contact her when she is with him. Can anyone help

Our Response:
It is understandable that you wish to know where your daughter is when you ex has her overnight. You do not have to do anything you feel uncomfortable with. As a way of getting around this you could suggest your ex attends mediation with you in order to try and resolve the issue. Mediation is when two or more parties meet to resolve problems before the matter reaches court. It is most often used in family proceedings. It is a formal negotiation and courts can accept the agreement of the mediation instead of having to go through the court process, although it is subject to final court approval. Mediation takes place in front of a neutral third party. The mediator has no pre-conceptions and will not force you to make an agreement. They will assist the two parties in taking turns in the conversation, and help you reach a decision that you are ready to agree with. Mediators do not pass judgment or offer guidance; they are there, in effect, to facilitate conversation between the two sides. I hope this helps.
ChildSupportLaws - 5-Jul-16 @ 11:10 AM
I split from my ex 8 weeks ago. At the time he said he wanted our daughter as he wanted not ever week as he wasn't giving me free time. He recently rang telling me to go kill myself one on many unpleasant I interactions. He has now decided he wants to have her over night. But he doesn't want give me his address. I know it is purely out of spite as using her is the only way to get to me. As any parent would be I dont feel comfortable her being somewhere I don't know or know where she is. Where do I stand. Do I have to allow home to have her over night?? I don't want to end up in court, I don't mind him having her. I just want to know where she is. He has also said I cannot contact her when she is with him. Can anyone help
Nelon - 4-Jul-16 @ 12:46 PM
maggie - Your Question:
Hi my son is 17 and he refuses to go back home his dad has steps order and he has come to live with me now his dad is demanding him back what is my rights can the police take him back if he does not want to go thanks

Our Response:
If there is a Prohibited Steps Order in place then the police may be able to intervene. You would need to seek legal advice regarding this as you are effectively in breach of the court order.
ChildSupportLaws - 4-Jul-16 @ 11:19 AM
hi my son is 17 and he refuses to go back home his dad has steps order and he has come to live with me now his dad is demanding him back what is my rights can the police take him back if he does not want to go thanks
maggie - 3-Jul-16 @ 8:27 AM
There is a contact order in place that paternal grandparents are to have my son 1 day a week, we have a holiday booked which falls on their day, I have given 4 months notice, offered alternative days and their not agreeing to it and threatening with court, does anyone know what may happen with the court?
Dizzy - 2-Jul-16 @ 9:34 PM
Hi I have been split with my ex for 5yrs and he has contact with my son, arranged on a weekly basis depending on plans but doesn't always stick to it,if has a bad day or offered to go out would rather do that and my son gets forgot about, he drinks and gambled and always asking for money and if doesn't get money I get called all sorts of names, threatened to come take my son from me, be nasty about my family, I'm not a strong person and just want a quiet life, I don't mind him going out etc just don't want contact with him when he does, I don't want anything to affect my son but I feel I've been more than fair over the years but feel like keeps bullying me
Weeyin - 2-Jul-16 @ 2:32 PM
Hi, my daughter was born 21/11/2009 I no I'm entitled to PR but how do I go about it as I don't want it to go to a court case..... I split up with my ex partner 6 years ago almost straight after my daughter was born, my ex partner claimed she has lots of mental health problems which she kept a secret from me..... which then split us up with her booting me out as we was living together at the time of our short relationship. Any now 6 years as passed and nothing as changed she's still using our daughter as a (weapon) I've paid maintenance money since day one and never missed a payment + i have her every week end friday to sunday.... she still seems to call all the shots, for instance I drove 12 miles to pick her up from school yesterday like normal, but she wasn't there as it was an inset day (which nobody notified me about it) so I went to my ex's house and there wasn't in so I tried phoning her but went straight to answer phone, after 3 or 4 text and calls I left to go back home and 17 hours later still no answer.... What DO I DO ????? Please help me and point me in the right direction as I'm lost for ideas like I said going to see a solicitor was my last option as I've been there before and my ex no's how much it costs so she won't be bothered has she gets legal aid. Thankyou??
Littlehilly - 2-Jul-16 @ 7:24 AM
Hi, I have just got out of a 10yr relationship with my husband. We only married 2yrs ago. We have a 5yo girl together. Problem is he has been battling drug addiction for years.. i cleaned up before our daughter was born and made lifestyle Improvements though he hasn't. For years he has lied to me, shown no motivation toward our relationship or daughter. I got tired and nagged him to the point he left and is now in detox (which is great).. though it hurts because he seems to hate me & have no intention of fixing our marriage. When he calls he just wants to talk to our daughter and see his daughter (to play with her then throw her back after one night) while i do all the hard work during week.. i just wish he'd get out of his daughters life so i dont get hurt over and over by having to see him.. if he's not going to do the right thing as a husband & stick by us nor get & stay clean, does he deserve to see his daughter? What should i do??
Jo - 1-Jul-16 @ 12:07 PM
Nicole - Your Question:
In 2013 I gave birth to a baby girl I was still with her father at the time but we were not married,when my daughter was 7 months old I got told by my doctors I had post natal depression and I suffered a break down, I told my daughters farther and we made an agreement not through the court of social services but on our terms he would look after our daughter until I was well enough again my daughter was 18 months old when we agreed this. My daughter is know 3 years old and since she has been with her dad I've had no contact with her I had to move from my home town due to my daughters dads family started threating me and I had no choice but to move for my own safety but also I didn't want my daughter to loose a mother. I am know in the process of putting in a residential order for custody of my daughter I don't think her farther realises how much suffering and pain he has put me through due to not having contact since the 21/10/14. My daughter is my world and so much more I always put messages up for her birthday so she knows I care and my dad always reads them to her but I'm a bit concerned about her welfare as her father smokes cannabis which is why I am putting in for a resident order.

Our Response:
I am sory to hear this, it is always sad when any parent, mother or father has been wrenched from their child. However, while I do not wish to impart negative news, it is unlikely any court would grant a residency order to a parent who has had little contact with their child, even if the lack of contact is through no fault of your own. A court will always decide what it in the child's best interests and consistency and stability is of great importance. If your child has spent little time with you, then for the court to move her (even though you are the mother) may invariably cause your child upset and stress and the courts will always try to avoid any such move, including one out of the area. Applying for access to try to get to know your daughter may be the best option for you. However, I do urge you to seek legal advice to see what your wider options are, as the other factors you mention regarding your ex will be taken into account. If you make a good case early now, this will allow you to help re-develop the bonds with your child from which you can build on in the future.
ChildSupportLaws - 30-Jun-16 @ 1:45 PM
In 2013 I gave birth to a baby girl I was still with her father at the time but we were not married,when my daughter was 7 months old I got told by my doctors I had post natal depression and I suffered a break down, I told my daughters farther and we made an agreement not through the court of social services but on our terms he would look after our daughter until I was well enough again my daughter was 18 months old when we agreed this. My daughter is know 3 years old and since she has been with her dad I've had no contact with her I had to move from my home town due to my daughters dads family started threating me and I had no choice but to move for my own safety but also I didn't want my daughter to loose a mother. I am know in the process of putting in a residential order for custody of my daughter I don't think her farther realises how much suffering and pain he has put me through due to not having contact since the 21/10/14. My daughter is my world and so much more I always put messages up for her birthday so she knows I care and my dad always reads them to her but I'm a bit concerned about her welfare as her father smokes cannabis which is why I am putting in for a resident order.
Nicole - 29-Jun-16 @ 11:34 PM
I left my son with is father 1 year ago, I was in a very controlling and abusive relationship with my ex. I had miscarried, and my ex partner beat me badly. i left him and moved to my mothers, but my ex managed to get back in contact with me and due to me talking to him and my mother treating me like a baby i ended up being asked to leave or to stay and keep to her rules.. I was 27 year old woman who had been through alot of troubles through my life and my mother and I were close but never got on. Anyway i left that night leaving my son in their hands. My son already lived with s father which we both agreed to. I was in such a low place and my ex who was a psychologist got in my head again and the mental abuse started again. I finally got the strength to leave after a big fight. I have tried and tried to get in contact with my son but his father has said NO and has blocked me from any way of getting in contact with him. I have written a letter to my parents explaining how bad my mental health had been back then and how messed up i had been. I have tried to better myself by going to college for the last year even though it has been the hardest year of my o life dealing with my health getting out of an abusive relationship going through court and multiple suicide attempts. I have passed college and am now moving on to the next stage of my education to make a better life for my son when he is older. I just would like some help or information on what I can do next. I have never been in situation before and feel a little lost and really want to get in contact with my son just o be part of his life again now that i feel that i have healed a little and would not be destructive in his life. i want him to grow up knowing me i love him soo much and it kills me a little more everyday when i cant hear or see him.
emzie - 25-Jun-16 @ 8:53 PM
Hi my ex and me was married and after years of DV I left him he made my life hell let the kids down had me in and out of court for yrs Well about 3years ago when my children was 6 & 8 he got shared contact on the first week he had them got social services involved claiming i was abusive to my kids After 18months of hell he brain washes the kids who then my son refused to see my anymore but I was still seeing my daughter When it came time to see my daughter alone my ex told my daughter if she was to see me she couldn't stay with him and her brother so she then stop seeing me Tho there was an agreement thru social services he stopped all contact emails was sent thru his phone acting as my kids Now it's 3 years I haven't seen them and because of social services closing I can't get legal aid He has moved them house school doctors everything without letting me know Please what can I do I'mdesperately wanting to see them but I can't afford court cost ?????? I have tried most things but no1 will help me cos social care are not involve I have call ss but they won't help cos of it being closed Schools won't tell me cos he hasn't put my name as there mother ( I have called all schools over our area) Doctors the same I have gone to his mother houses and text her she calls police on me or hangs up on me Paid an agents to find his address which I have sent cards but got nothing back Text and call from many numbers but he blocks me Facebook Everything Ps I was cleared of all charges andaccusations Thanks if there's anything I can try
Gabby - 24-Jun-16 @ 11:17 PM
Jo25 - Your Question:
My ex put my through domestic violence when I was pregnant so I finally left him moved back home had baby he did see baby at first but the kept letting him down not showing up ect he last seen him when we was 1 but his anger was coming out in front of little one screaming pushing me about in for nt of bby even though we not together he's not on birth certificate but now threatening me with court he is a violent nasty man who has done nothing for my son what can I do to stop this

Our Response:
You don't say if he was reported to the police or has a police record as a result. If your ex takes the matter to court, then you both be interviewed by a Cafcass officer who will compile a report to present to the court. The Cafcass staff who compile the reports are known as Children and Family Reporters. It’s their job to interview both parents in the case, as well as the children, and any others who might be needed, which could mean social workers, medical professionals, or even relatives. From the interviews they conduct, the reporter will determine two things: whether there should be contact allowed, and, if so, how much. It’s a measure of how important the Cafcass recommendation is that the court will almost invariably adhere to it. This will be your chance to have your say about your ex and the court will make a decision based upon this and what it thinks is in the best interests of your child.
ChildSupportLaws - 23-Jun-16 @ 12:41 PM
My ex put my through domestic violence when I was pregnant so I finally left him moved back home had baby he did see baby at first but the kept letting him down not showing up ect he last seen him when we was 1 but his anger was coming out in front of little one screaming pushing me about in for nt of bby even though we not together he's not on birth certificate but now threatening me with court he is a violent nasty man who has done nothing for my son what can I do to stop this
Jo25 - 22-Jun-16 @ 8:42 PM
Mand86 - Your Question:
Please help! I have reason to believe my son's dad is growing cannabis in the house that he has my son for 1-2 days a week. Also my son's half brother loves in that same household and he has a few issues just one of them is holding a screwdriver to his stepdads throat! I'm concerned for the safety of my son! Can I stop him going or do I contact social services and see what they advise? Thanks

Our Response:
If you believe the father of your child is growing cannabis illegally, you may wish to contact the police. Otherwise, you may wish to just stop access if you are concerned for the welfare of your son, and your ex's option would be to take the matter to court. However, if he has parental responsibility he may be granted official access, if you cannot prove the reasons why you stopped.
ChildSupportLaws - 20-Jun-16 @ 2:42 PM
@Sara - Can you leave with your child and go to your family? I would do this - it sounds like you are a slave where you are living. If your family take you in, then you can take your child with you and offer your ex supervised access if you are scared of him taking your son.
PTC77 - 20-Jun-16 @ 12:52 PM
Please help! I have reason to believe my son's dad is growing cannabis in the house that he has my son for 1-2 days a week. Also my son's half brother loves in that same household and he has a few issues just one of them is holding a screwdriver to his stepdads throat! I'm concerned for the safety of my son! Can I stop him going or do I contact social services and see what they advise? Thanks
Mand86 - 19-Jun-16 @ 10:24 PM
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