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What Rights Does My Ex Have With Regards to Our Children?

By: Elizabeth Mugan BA/BSc, PGDipLaw, BVC, CIArb - Updated: 18 Sep 2018 |
 
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We get many comments and questions from you about child support. We've taken a selection of your comments addressing the issue of keeping contact with your children and the fear of your ex taking them from you - and asked our expert to give some comprehensive information and advice.

The traditional view of the family set up has become something of a minority in 21st century society and because of this, a broken down relationship can lead to complicated legal issues. Whether you are recently divorced and wondering about the role your ex-husband has in your child's life, or you have a child from a relationship that has broken down, but were never married, you need to understand your legal position when it comes to creating an amicable situation for your child to grow up in. Here we aim to dispel some of the myths about parental access and to give you the advice you need to rebuild your life and your children's lives.

Parental Responsibility

Parental responsibility (also known as PR) creates "responsibilities" rather than "rights" regardless of whatever the state of the parents' relationship, emphasising the view that each will maintain an equal, shared and continuing responsibility towards the child.

Where both the mother and the father have PR, they have the power to act alone unless there is a circumstance where, by law, each person with PR is to give consent i.e. in the case of adoption. In reality, holding PR gives the ability to make decisions in relation to the child's name, religion, school, consent to medical treatment and marriage etc.

Who has Parental Responsibility?

Below is a flow chart to help you determine if you have Parental Responsibility:

A mother always has PR. A father who is married to the mother at the time of birth will automatically have PR.

To clarify, for unmarried fathers, the situation is different. Unmarried fathers will have PR if:

  • They marry the mother after the child is born
  • They have jointly registered the child's birth with the mother i.e. their name is on the birth certificate
  • For pre December 2003 registrations, the mother provides a formal declaration of agreement that the father's name is to be added to the birth record and the father re-registers the birth to add his details
  • The court orders a residence order in favour of the father, although this will usually terminate when the resident order ends (generally age 16)
  • A birth parent has signed a parental responsibility agreement
  • A step-parent's PR agreement can be made by consent with all those already having PR for the child
  • By obtaining an adoption order from the court

Where a father has not automatically gained PR, the mother does not have to add the father's name to the birth certificate. However, this will not stop the father from being able to apply to the court for an order, such as a parental responsibility order, which may result in him acquiring PR.

Other family members

Other family members, taking grandparents as an example, do not automatically have PR. They would only be granted PR by a court if, for example, they were appointed as Guardian or were to adopt their grandchild for any reason. If a father with PR asks his parents to take care of the child, they can do so usually without the mother's agreement. However, the child would not be able to remain resident with the grandparents unless they had been granted a residency order by the court.

Voluntary access arrangements

If more than one of you has PR, then the best thing you can do for both your children and yourselves is to voluntarily agree to contact and access etc. If you can do this, then you are more likely to maintain a more harmonious relationship for the sake of your children. Additionally, it will prevent you from having to go to court and from having to pay court and solicitor's fees if you are unable to get legal aid.

Of course, this is the ideal scenario and not always a realistic one. If you cannot agree on residence and contact etc. then you may find that your ex will end up applying to the court for an order.

My Child has Been Taken Away From Me: What Can I Do?

Unfortunately in some circumstances, a father may take your child during agreed contact time and then refuse to bring them home again. If this happens and you are unable to negotiate with the father then you should call the police. However, the police may not be able to do anything. This generally comes down to whether or not the father has PR. If they do not, then the child is the mother's sole responsibility and the police may be able to take the child back to the mother. If the father does have PR, then in usual circumstances, they have the same rights as the mother to look after the child and therefore, so long as the child is not in any harm, the police cannot usually do anything about it. This can be understandably distressing for a mother. What can be done about it?

Residence Orders

A person can make an application for a residence order, whether or not they have PR. For example, a father without PR can make an application for and be granted residency but then he will automatically acquire PR at the same time. It is unusual for a father to be granted residency as well as a mother as this would result in shared residency, which is not always in the best interests of the child. As a result, it is usually the mother who would be granted sole residency.

If a child has been taken by their father and the police cannot do anything, the mother can make an application for a residency order. If the child was snatched or she believes that her child may be in danger, then she can apply for an emergency ex parte application. This is also known as a 'without notice application' i.e. the other party is not given notice of the application. If the mother cannot make an ex parte application then an application can still be made but the father can attend and make his case. At the end of the hearing, the judge will make an order.

There are lots of other orders which the court can make, including contact orders, prohibited steps orders and specific issue orders.

What Factors Will be Taken Into Account?

When reviewing applications, the court will take a number of factors into consideration with regards to the child or children's welfare. These are:

  1. What is best for the child and the feelings and wishes of the child. This is considered according to the child's age and understanding
  2. How capable the parents (and any other relevant people) are of meeting the needs of the child or children
  3. Any harm that the child is at risk of suffering or has suffered
  4. The likely effect of a change of circumstances on the child
  5. The age, background, personality, sex and any other characteristics that the Court believes to be relevant
  6. The child's emotional, physical and educational needs

Domestic abuse

If you have been subjected to domestic abuse, this would clearly be a very important factor for the court to consider when determining what will be in the best interests of the child. If the father makes an application to the court then you can oppose it by giving evidence as to why he should not be given the order. You can oppose any application in much the same way.

Reality Check

When you find yourself fighting to look after your own child your emotions can begin to take over. It is important when you begin to plan your child's parenting and the access of the father that you understand the law and how it might impact on your child's future.

Remember that if your child's father is on the birth certificate, or you were married and are now divorced, the father has the same access to the child as you do in the eyes of the law. If they take your child or even threaten to do so, the police can often be powerless to change the situation. The best advice is to seek mediation and organise access in a written agreement, give yourself something concrete to work from. If your ex is unreasonable then apply for a residency order to ensure that you keep custody of your child.

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Share Your Story, Join the Discussion or Seek Advice..
[Add a Comment]
Loopy - Your Question:
I’m 12 weeks pregnant with my ex. He has record of domestic abuse with myself on his record. He is saying he wants overnight access straight away when the baby is born. What are my rights on this? I want him to see the baby but not comfortable with overnight access straight away. Please help

Our Response:
It is unlikely that a court would allow your ex overnight access if he has a record of domestic abuse. As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the child in question. The court will always put the child’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order.
ChildSupportLaws - 18-Sep-18 @ 3:31 PM
I’m 12 weeks pregnant with my ex. He has record of domestic abuse with myself on his record. He is saying he wants overnight access straight away when the baby is born. What are my rights on this? I want him to see the baby but not comfortable with overnight access straight away. Please help
Loopy - 18-Sep-18 @ 2:59 PM
I have a 3 year old daughter, her father is in the army but I found out he has been having an affair with my friend. Only I don’t mind him having contact with my daughter but I do not want her near her. She smokes around her own children therefore I don’t think she would give a second thought about smoking next to my daughter. This might be the norm for her but for me it’s not it’s my daughters health I’m thinking about. Is there a way I can stop him taking my daughter round his new girlfriends house.
Mrsmlgreen - 15-Sep-18 @ 10:32 AM
Stepum - Your Question:
Hi, can anyone offer me an answer to this.my partner has parental responsibility rights and he has a court order which states he can pick his son up early afternoon every Friday due to work commitments he cannot sometimes make that time so he asks me to collect his son which is a two hour drive away. The ex is refusing to let me take him back to the fathers even though the father has given me full permission on his court times I’ve also been in the sons life for 5 years and up till now always collected h with no problems. Can she stop this or does the court order and the fathers permission allow me to collect him?

Our Response:
Much depends upon what the court order specifies. If it specifies that your partner has to pick his child up, then his ex can be pedantic choose to only pass the child to the person named on the court order. However, likewise if your partner's ex refuses to allow you to take the child (for whatever reason), she is still in breach of the order. In which case, your partner would have to refer the matter back to court, where a court will decide whether you are allowed to pick up the child or not. You may wish to suggest that your partner asks a solicitor to send a letter reminding his ex of the terms of the order, or suggest mediation before he refers the matter back to court. Court enforcement should only be used as a final resort, as this will be added expense, and will generally only serve to increase tensions between the parties.
ChildSupportLaws - 10-Sep-18 @ 11:58 AM
Hi, can anyone offer me an answer to this ..my partner has parental responsibility rights and he has a court order which states he can pick his son up early afternoon every Friday due to work commitments he cannot sometimes make that time so he asks me to collect his son which is a two hour drive away. The ex is refusing to let me take him back to the fathers even though the father has given me full permission on his court times I’ve also been in the sons life for 5 years and up till now always collected h with no problems. Can she stop this or does the court order and the fathers permission allow me to collect him?
Stepum - 9-Sep-18 @ 5:35 PM
Hi I have a 4 year old daughter and have been split up from the mother for a couple of years now we have both moved on to new relationships and I am now engaged to my now partner. My fiancée has treat my daughter as her own and my daughter absolutely adores her but now my ex is trying to stop my fiancée from seeing my daughter which I feel is unfair considering my daughter lives with her mother and her partner. I have parental rights as I am on the birth certificate and was wanting to know where I stand on this legally as I feel she shouldn’t be able to do this ?
Andy - 5-Sep-18 @ 11:17 PM
Hi my ex is move in with his new girlfriend and she has kids he now say theChild maintenance that he give me will now go down is this True
Sooty - 27-Aug-18 @ 11:42 AM
Hi I’ve been divorced for 3 years now and I have been separated for 5. I have a consent order from the court back in 2016 saying my daughter lives with me she is 8. My ex is constantly sending me emails telling me off about how I am bringing her up the latest being she’s being bullied in school she isn’t I have had loads of investigations done and also that I dyed her hair albeit with lemon juice and honey and that I have been irresponsible etc. There is a long history of him being nasty to me he doesn’t see his son very often and that’s why there was a court case in the beginning as he treated him badly and my son started to self harm I think he’s going to try and take her away from me as his emails are just aggressive in tone what can I do is it worth going back to a solicitor or do I have to contact him with every decision made. I don’t physically see him as he frightens me so everything is done by email but that was supposed to be for contact dates not him telling me off all the time any help would be greatly appreciated as I’m at my wits end again with his behaviour
Skeats - 26-Aug-18 @ 9:36 PM
Hi. My ex and I have split, we have a 10month old dd. I found out that he has been cheating and it was with someone that is not stable. She lost a child of her own so understandably she is emotional about this. But she very often goes of the rails and drink. I also believe she does recreational drugs. On top of this is highly medicated for depression. I have told my ex he can see our daughter but I don't want her anywhere near her. Can I get a court order for this?
Babbymom - 22-Aug-18 @ 4:26 PM
Hello, I am looking to see if anyone can give me some information. I had a short relationship with my now 6 month old baby’s mum, since the baby was born I travel 1 hour to visit. The mother has always been a little awkward and now it’s gettjnv worse, she says I can have the baby for one day per week and recently let me have an over night stay, every other weekend. However she has now decided against it. What are my rights to have my child at 6 months old? 1 night over night and maybe once or twice for a few hours in the week? I pay maintainace and provide for my child. I have done nothing but try with the mother since pregnancy. Please someone help me
K - 21-Aug-18 @ 6:34 PM
Hi. I am a single mother of 2 boyes ages 3 and 5...their father has PR as he is on the birth certificate. In june he agreed to have the kids for a week. At the end of that week he refused to give them back. I seeked advice from cab and a solicitor but decided to try and work it out between me and the father in the hopes it wouldnt habe to go as far as court. I have been seeing my boys for a couple of hours a week and trying for more. Last weekend i tried to take my boys in a taxi home and my ex headbutted me in front of them and broke my nose. He still has my kids. Police and social services are involved but arent seeming much help? It is the second time on record he has assaulted me in front of our childre. My children havent seen me since the incident and i dont know how they are or anything. Social services said they seemed okay when the police went round there but how can some one who doesnt know my kids know their emotional state? I am looking k to the child arrangement order but is there anything i can do that will be quicker as i am very concern about the well being of my children i have expressed this to social services but they didny say much. Any helo would be appreciated thankyou
Bex - 19-Aug-18 @ 12:57 PM
dog - Your Question:
My ex isn't letting me spend time with my 10year old daughter who is also saying she does not want to see me which is likely to be influenced. is my daughter old enough to make that decision or is it a case of as she is under a certain age she has to see her Dad? Also is it illegal for my ex to not let me see or speak to my daughter

Our Response:
I am sorry to hear this. You would have to go through the process laid out in the link here , with mediation being the first option to suggest to your ex, as a way of trying to resolve the situation outside court.
ChildSupportLaws - 17-Aug-18 @ 11:11 AM
Leigh- Your Question:
Hello, I'm the father of my nearly to be two year old son and I am on the birth certificate. Me and his month split about 9-10 months ago and I moved out of our house about 7-8 months ago as it was a bad situation me still being there ( we tried to keep it for our son but dident work). Since I have moved out I have had my son every Saturday so his mum can work and seen him or had him I'd say atleast 5 nights a week and alot of Sundays (over half of the Sundays since I've moved out) more if I had it my way. I have moved in with family and only just managed to get in to my own place where I will be able to have my child overnight. And would like to make it so I can have him over night at least friday, Saturday and Sunday night and some evenings in the week wile I'm not working but his mother is point blank refusing. Where do I stand with this ? I think personally it's money as I would've t have to pay her if I have him and this is the reason (could be wrong this as she does love him and does seem to be interested in his best interests which is obviously a matter of opinion). She also says iv not had him over night for 7 months so it's unfair on him and he needs one home even think have many of times got him down to sleep and do so easier than she does. If this went to court and unfortunately I think it will (will try all other options for it not to but she is very stubborn) will I lose based on anything I have said as I believe it's unfair more on our son not being able to have the same time with me as his mother.

Our Response:
The link here , will tell you all you need to know regarding your options.
ChildSupportLaws - 17-Aug-18 @ 10:35 AM
my ex isn't letting me spend time with my 10year old daughter who is also saying she does not want to see me which is likely to be influenced. is my daughter old enough to make that decision or is it a case of as she is under a certain age she has to see her Dad? Also is it illegal for my ex to not let me see or speak to my daughter
dog - 16-Aug-18 @ 10:42 PM
Hello, I'm the father of my nearly to be two year old son and I am on the birth certificate. Me and his month split about 9-10 months ago and I moved out of our house about 7-8 months ago as it was a bad situation me still being there ( we tried to keep it for our son but dident work). Since I have moved out I have had my son every Saturday so his mum can work and seen him or had him I'd say atleast 5 nights a week and alot of Sundays (over half of the Sundays since I've moved out) more if i had it my way. I have moved in with family and only just managed to get in to my own place where I will be able to have my child overnight. And would like to make it so I can have him over night at least friday, Saturday and Sunday night and some evenings in the week wile I'm not working but his mother is point blank refusing. Where do I stand with this ? I think personally it's money as I would've t have to pay her if I have him and this is the reason (could be wrong this as she does love him and does seem to be interested in his best interests which is obviously a matter of opinion). She also says iv not had him over night for 7 months so it's unfair on him and he needs one home even think have many of times got him down to sleep and do so easier than she does. If this went to court and unfortunately I think it will (will try all other options for it not to but she is very stubborn) will I lose based on anything I have said as I believe it's unfair more on our son not being able to have the same time with me as his mother.
Leigh - 16-Aug-18 @ 8:04 PM
I cannot believe what I have just read. All based on the mother when it is the fathers that are the ones who are ripped from their children lives disgusting. Why don’t you just write how it is and what solicitors tell mothers during divorce. The less time a father gets his child the more money you get and you can break a child arrnagem by order and the courts do nothing.
Sye - 16-Aug-18 @ 6:16 PM
claire - Your Question:
Hi, I am in an awful predicament last Thursday my children went for contact with there father, this contact has never been stable on his part sometimes he turns up and sometimes he dosent either way I keep the arrangements the same every Thursday just incase he turn up as the children love going to their das understandably just recently though he has been telling our children I am the reason hes not been picking them up and making out everything is my fault I have stuck to every arrangement he has suggested and not once made it hard for him to see our children as I no how important it is for the childen to have us both he has not returned hem and I am now worried what he is telling them I miss them so much each and every day is killing me I applied for an urgent court order yesterday and just hope for a good outcome. the outcome id love is the children to be returned home and established regular and stable contact with their dad on a Thursday and then in future if that can be kept upto for the arrangement to be changed to more contact

Our Response:
I am sorry to hear this. Hopefully, the situation has blown over by now and the father has returned the children. If not, if your children's father has Parental Responsibility (registered on the birth certificate) of the children the police cannot help, even if the children do not normally live with them. However, if the parent does not have Parental Responsibility, the police will be able to intervene and return your children to you. If both parents have Parental Responsibility then the police cannot intervene to take the child off one parent and give them to the other; the police cannot choose between parents, that is the remit of the courts. Whilst the police cannot take a child away from a parent with Parental Responsibility, they are able to intervene and remove a child/children if there is a real risk to life. If you are concerned about a real and immediate threat to your child's safety, speak to your local police force and social services. You have done right in applying for a child arrangement order and hopefully their father will see he has made a mistake and return the children to you. I hope it turns around before the matter gets to court.
ChildSupportLaws - 14-Aug-18 @ 2:52 PM
Tm - Your Question:
Hi, my new partner has a son who he has every Friday, sat and Sunday. He has told the mum he can’t have him Sunday nights now due to work and living too far to take him to a nursery near her but she is refusing. Even tho she does not work on a Sunday and could easily have him. She claims all the benefits for him but still says that my partner has to sort out an alternative arrangement. He has even offered to bring him to her on a Sunday and put him to bed so she would only need to get up with him and take him to childcare but she said only if he gives her more money. What rights does he have? Can he just take him anyway and drop him off?

Our Response:
There is no right or wrong answer here, both parents have valid points. Your partner's ex obviously wants him to take equal responsibility for the care of their child. The question then is why should it always fall to the mother to accept responsibility and have to be accommodating? Likewise, your partner is looking for a degree of flexibility where childcare is concerned. However, if they cannot agree between them then the only solution is mediation or court. The link here will explain further.
ChildSupportLaws - 14-Aug-18 @ 2:16 PM
hi, I am in an awful predicament last Thursday my children went for contact with there father, this contact has never been stable on his part sometimes he turns up and sometimes he dosent either way I keep the arrangements the same every Thursday just incase he turn up as the children love going to their das understandably just recently though he has been telling our children I am the reason hes not been picking them up and making out everything is my fault I have stuck to every arrangement he has suggested and not once made it hard for him to see our children as I no how important it is for the childen to have us both he has not returned hem and I am now worried what he is telling them I miss them so much each and every day is killing me I applied for an urgent court order yesterday and just hope for a good outcome. the outcome id love is the children to be returned home and established regular and stable contact with their dad on a Thursday and then in future if that can be kept upto for the arrangement to be changed to more contact
claire - 14-Aug-18 @ 5:35 AM
Hi, my new partner has a son who he has every Friday, sat and Sunday. He has told the mum he can’t have him Sunday nights now due to work and living too far to take him to a nursery near her but she is refusing. Even tho she does not work on a Sunday and could easily have him. She claims all the benefits for him but still says that my partner has to sort out an alternative arrangement. He has even offered to bring him to her on a Sunday and put him to bed so she would only need to get up with him and take him to childcare but she said only if he gives her more money. What rights does he have? Can he just take him anyway and drop him off?
Tm - 13-Aug-18 @ 9:24 PM
Amy - Your Question:
Hello, I am seeking advice regarding my ex the father to our son who is 6. We are both on benefits and he has never offered or contributed anything towards my towards my son( who lives with me). Can I apply Child Maintenance.

Our Response:
You can apply for child maintenance either to your father directly or via CMS directly, please see the link here. If your child's father is claiming benefits, then he would be expected to pay the flat rate of £7 per week. He can either pay this to you directly as a family-based arrangement, or if you claim through CMS where there will be a charge.
ChildSupportLaws - 13-Aug-18 @ 10:27 AM
Hello, I am seeking advice regarding my ex the father to our son who is 6. We are both on benefits and he has never offered or contributed anything towards my towards my son( who lives with me). Can I apply Child Maintenance.
Amy - 11-Aug-18 @ 5:35 PM
Mr H. - Your Question:
I've a 7 week old baby girl. I'm a father who is on the birth certificate. I've tried to work things out with the mother but to no avail. Twice after her staying at my place (we were on and off for 5 years ages 41,me and 42 her) She lives in a shared house has done for 2 years. I knew that we wouldn't work but said that she could stay with baby of course as I didn't want them to stay in a room. Anyways she is being evicted from room on 2st Sept and is now staying at her mum's.She has 3 kids from previous relationships.2 older and 1 girl of 9 years old who she gave to the father at the age of 3. She's never had overnight access or fought in court for overnight access at all. Reason for handing the 3yr old over to her father is she lost her home through cocaine use. This is on record but in an Essex borough. She now lives in London and sees the 9 yr old on occasion. She now has been using my daughter who I've had on my own overnight on more than a few occasions as a weapon. I'm in the process of taking her to court for 50/50 access. I want stability for my daughter and am going to ask for weekend access and one afternoon evening in the week. How likely do you think a court will Grant me this?A bit more about me.I'm a father of 4.3 kids from a previous relationship and my daughter of 7 weeks. I rent my own place and have a great relationship with my kids mother of the previous relationship. I have a relationship with the kids school. So I feel as tho 50/50 access is more than justified so that my daughter has a stable life and environment. The mother tonight was drunk.has said to me to take her to court and that by the time I see her again she'll have forgotten about me, even though she doesn't have any kind of custodial arrangement for her 9 yr old since the age of 3. What would the outcome likely be in this situation? As I've heard some horror stories. Everything I've said is documented and can be proven.

Our Response:
Unfortunately, we cannot possibly predict what a court may decide. As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the child in question. The court will always put the child’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order. It is rare that a court will offer 50/50 access unless 50/50 care or near enough has previously been in place. Much also depends upon where you live. If 50/50 access is not logistically achievable then it will not be considered. You would have to seek legal advice regarding this matter.
ChildSupportLaws - 10-Aug-18 @ 11:50 AM
Fairy- Your Question:
Quick question can I stop my ex partner mum and dad and brothers sisters from seeing my son?

Our Response:
There are no rules either way. However, if you do, your ex may wish to take the matter to court. Unless there is a good reason why you feel you should stop access (not because you don't like them or don't get on with them), then the court may choose not to rule in your favour. As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the child in question. The court will always put the child’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order.
ChildSupportLaws - 9-Aug-18 @ 2:21 PM
Quick question can I stop my ex partner mum and dad and brothers sisters from seeing my son?
Fairy - 8-Aug-18 @ 5:51 PM
I've a 7 week old baby girl. I'm a father who is on the birth certificate. I've tried to work things out with the mother but to no avail. Twice after her staying at my place (we were on and off for 5 years ages 41,me and 42 her) She lives in a shared house has done for 2 years. I knew that we wouldn't work but said that she could stay with baby of course as I didn't want them to stay in a room. Anyways she is being evicted from room on 2st Sept and is now staying at her mum's....She has 3 kids from previous relationships...2 older and 1 girl of 9 years old who she gave to the father at the age of 3. She's never had overnight access or fought in court for overnight access at all. Reason for handing the 3yr old over to her father is she lost her home through cocaine use. This is on record but in an Essex borough. She now lives in London and sees the 9 yr old on occasion. She now has been using my daughter who I've had on my own overnight on more than a few occasions as a weapon. I'm in the process of taking her to court for 50/50 access. I want stability for my daughter and am going to ask for weekend access and one afternoon evening in the week. How likely do you think a court will Grant me this? A bit more about me...I'm a father of 4...3 kids from a previous relationship and my daughter of 7 weeks. I rent my own place and have a great relationship with my kids mother of the previous relationship. I have a relationship with the kids school. So I feel as tho 50/50 access is more than justified so that my daughter has a stable life and environment. The mother tonight was drunk...has said to me to take her to court and that by the time I see her again she'll have forgotten about me, even though she doesn't have any kind of custodial arrangement for her 9 yr old since the age of 3. What would the outcome likely be in this situation? As I've heard some horror stories. Everything I've said is documented and can be proven.
Mr H. - 7-Aug-18 @ 12:19 AM
My ex husband has our children three nights a week and every third full weekend. Presently he is acting really badly and I caught my children walking home alone (age 7&10). I stopped and asked them where they were going they said home because daddy is working. When I asked him about it he just had a go and swore at me. Then told my daughter off for telling me things. The children say he is always saying nasty things about me and they were sat in the car for two hours the other day whilst he made phone calls, and on more than one occasion have been sat in the back of a chip shop while he works. He was emotionally abusive to me during our marriage and I’m worried for my children now - my daughter has told her grandparents she hates going as he questions her all the time. I don’t know what to do I can’t afford a solicitors as I’m already paying off his bill for he divorce, as he chose not to even though he signed to say he would but the solicitor is not pursuing me.
Ellie - 6-Aug-18 @ 3:56 PM
Alice86 - Your Question:
I’m currently 7.5 months pregnant and my husband has today admitted to adultery in writing. He has be verbally abusive in front of witnesses, stated he has no interest in the child, no respect for me carrying the child. He also has a gambling addition and a problem with alcohol. Where do I stand on this, I want to raise my child without him as he’s too selfish to have the best interests of the child, which he has verbally admitted. I know he has PR to a point but when does it become not a safe option? Thanks

Our Response:
If arrangements cannot be agreed between you when your child is born, then mediation is an option to consider. If you refuse access, then your husband would have the option to apply to court, please see the link here . As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the child in question. The court will always put the child’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order. It is impossible to predict what a court may decide.
ChildSupportLaws - 6-Aug-18 @ 2:58 PM
Alison - Your Question:
My partner and I separated shortly after the birth of our second child the facts around this are still quite hazy and I believe he was having an affair, the woman who he is involved with (whom I believe he was having the affair with) is now proposed to be introduced to my children, C 8 years and G 11 months, he has them every other weekend I do t feel it appropriate for them to spend a full weekend including h sleepovers with someone they have never met and aren’t aware of. I have proposed they go out for tea on the Friday, and are returned to me after then collected for the day the following g day and again returned to me after? Do I have any legal rights to enforce this? As my husband is refusing Nd just sTing their his kids he will do as he wants, I don’t think he’s taking their feelings into consideration at all

Our Response:
There are no fixed rules on this sort of arrangement. The link here outlines your options. If you cannot agree via mediation then court is the next option. A court would only prevent your ex from introducing your children to another person if there is a very good reason why he shouldn't. If your ex has parental responsibility of your children, he is deemed responsible to make his own decisions on who the children should be introduced to. Likewise, if you were to meet someone new, would you ask his permission? Hopefully, you will be able to agree amicably what you both think is in the best interests of your children. But given you are separated and autonomous individuals, there is not much you can do to legally enforce your wishes. As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the children in question. The court will always put the children’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order.
ChildSupportLaws - 6-Aug-18 @ 11:24 AM
Simon - Your Question:
My ex wife moved away from me approximately 2 years ago. It's a distance that would take me a minimum of a 8 hours or 460mile round trip. She promised when she moved away that she would meet me half way due to the distance, but THIS wasn't done through the courts. As of late she is now moving the goal posts "stating if you want to see your daughter then you must get her". I know we both share parental responsibility but surely this can't all be on me and not fair as she is clearly going back on her word and controlling the issue if I see my daughter or not. I have always paid maintenance using the direct gov maintenance calculator and tried to keep things in order.

Our Response:
Mediation or court are your only solutions, if your ex will not agree to meeting you half way, please see the link here. Alternatively, if you’re the parent paying maintenance under the 2012 Child Maintenance Scheme and you have certain expenses, you may be able to ask the Child Maintenance Service (CMS) to adjust the amount of maintenance you should pay, please see the link here.
ChildSupportLaws - 6-Aug-18 @ 9:49 AM
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