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What Rights Does My Ex Have With Regards to Our Children?

By: Elizabeth Mugan BA/BSc, PGDipLaw, BVC, CIArb - Updated: 23 May 2016 |
 
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We get many comments and questions from you about child support. We've taken a selection of your comments addressing the issue of keeping contact with your children and the fear of your ex taking them from you - and asked our expert to give some comprehensive information and advice.

The traditional view of the family set up has become something of a minority in 21st century society and because of this, a broken down relationship can lead to complicated legal issues. Whether you are recently divorced and wondering about the role your ex-husband has in your child's life, or you have a child from a relationship that has broken down, but were never married, you need to understand your legal position when it comes to creating an amicable situation for your child to grow up in. Here we aim to dispel some of the myths about parental access and to give you the advice you need to rebuild your life and your children's lives.

Parental Responsibility

Parental responsibility (also known as PR) creates "responsibilities" rather than "rights" regardless of whatever the state of the parents' relationship, emphasising the view that each will maintain an equal, shared and continuing responsibility towards the child.

Where both the mother and the father have PR, they have the power to act alone unless there is a circumstance where, by law, each person with PR is to give consent i.e. in the case of adoption. In reality, holding PR gives the ability to make decisions in relation to the child's name, religion, school, consent to medical treatment and marriage etc.

Who has Parental Responsibility?

Below is a flow chart to help you determine if you have Parental Responsibility:

A mother always has PR. A father who is married to the mother at the time of birth will automatically have PR.

To clarify, for unmarried fathers, the situation is different. Unmarried fathers will have PR if:

  • They marry the mother after the child is born
  • They have jointly registered the child's birth with the mother i.e. their name is on the birth certificate
  • For pre December 2003 registrations, the mother provides a formal declaration of agreement that the father's name is to be added to the birth record and the father re-registers the birth to add his details
  • The court orders a residence order in favour of the father, although this will usually terminate when the resident order ends (generally age 16)
  • A birth parent has signed a parental responsibility agreement
  • A step-parent's PR agreement can be made by consent with all those already having PR for the child
  • By obtaining an adoption order from the court

Where a father has not automatically gained PR, the mother does not have to add the father's name to the birth certificate. However, this will not stop the father from being able to apply to the court for an order, such as a parental responsibility order, which may result in him acquiring PR.

Other family members

Other family members, taking grandparents as an example, do not automatically have PR. They would only be granted PR by a court if, for example, they were appointed as Guardian or were to adopt their grandchild for any reason. If a father with PR asks his parents to take care of the child, they can do so usually without the mother's agreement. However, the child would not be able to remain resident with the grandparents unless they had been granted a residency order by the court.

Voluntary access arrangements

If more than one of you has PR, then the best thing you can do for both your children and yourselves is to voluntarily agree to contact and access etc. If you can do this, then you are more likely to maintain a more harmonious relationship for the sake of your children. Additionally, it will prevent you from having to go to court and from having to pay court and solicitor's fees if you are unable to get legal aid.

Of course, this is the ideal scenario and not always a realistic one. If you cannot agree on residence and contact etc. then you may find that your ex will end up applying to the court for an order.

My Child has Been Taken Away From Me: What Can I Do?

Unfortunately in some circumstances, a father may take your child during agreed contact time and then refuse to bring them home again. If this happens and you are unable to negotiate with the father then you should call the police. However, the police may not be able to do anything. This generally comes down to whether or not the father has PR. If they do not, then the child is the mother's sole responsibility and the police may be able to take the child back to the mother. If the father does have PR, then in usual circumstances, they have the same rights as the mother to look after the child and therefore, so long as the child is not in any harm, the police cannot usually do anything about it. This can be understandably distressing for a mother. What can be done about it?

Residence Orders

A person can make an application for a residence order, whether or not they have PR. For example, a father without PR can make an application for and be granted residency but then he will automatically acquire PR at the same time. It is unusual for a father to be granted residency as well as a mother as this would result in shared residency, which is not always in the best interests of the child. As a result, it is usually the mother who would be granted sole residency.

If a child has been taken by their father and the police cannot do anything, the mother can make an application for a residency order. If the child was snatched or she believes that her child may be in danger, then she can apply for an emergency ex parte application. This is also known as a 'without notice application' i.e. the other party is not given notice of the application. If the mother cannot make an ex parte application then an application can still be made but the father can attend and make his case. At the end of the hearing, the judge will make an order.

There are lots of other orders which the court can make, including contact orders, prohibited steps orders and specific issue orders.

What Factors Will be Taken Into Account?

When reviewing applications, the court will take a number of factors into consideration with regards to the child or children's welfare. These are:

  1. What is best for the child and the feelings and wishes of the child. This is considered according to the child's age and understanding
  2. How capable the parents (and any other relevant people) are of meeting the needs of the child or children
  3. Any harm that the child is at risk of suffering or has suffered
  4. The likely effect of a change of circumstances on the child
  5. The age, background, personality, sex and any other characteristics that the Court believes to be relevant
  6. The child's emotional, physical and educational needs

Domestic abuse

If you have been subjected to domestic abuse, this would clearly be a very important factor for the court to consider when determining what will be in the best interests of the child. If the father makes an application to the court then you can oppose it by giving evidence as to why he should not be given the order. You can oppose any application in much the same way.

Reality Check

When you find yourself fighting to look after your own child your emotions can begin to take over. It is important when you begin to plan your child's parenting and the access of the father that you understand the law and how it might impact on your child's future.

Remember that if your child's father is on the birth certificate, or you were married and are now divorced, the father has the same access to the child as you do in the eyes of the law. If they take your child or even threaten to do so, the police can often be powerless to change the situation. The best advice is to seek mediation and organise access in a written agreement, give yourself something concrete to work from. If your ex is unreasonable then apply for a residency order to ensure that you keep custody of your child.

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[Add a Comment]
Hi I'm in a relationship but it a bad one we have a 2 year old son together and I have 4 of my own.....he likes a drink and has told me that if we split up he would take our son hos name is on the birth certificate......I'm so scared I will lose my child that I stay with him....any advise would be greatly appreciated
Bea - 23-May-16 @ 11:12 PM
Hello I need some advice my partner and I have a daughter and my partners ex is trying to stop my partner from seeing his son because she hates me and my daughter,she's being very vindictive and nasty toward him and now treating to take him to court to make him see his son when he wants to but she's not allowing it and saying no your not if your with her (me) yet we have a daughter and due to be married soon,what legal advice should we do as we can no long have his son over night as we only live in a small house only big enough for me our daughter and my partner, also what legal rights does she have trying to make him stay overnight when I own the house it's in my nanometer not my partners. Really need some advice as this is really getting my partner down as he wants to see his son but she's not allowing it yet taking him to court to make him see him which doesn't make sense we've also kept all the messages from her stating that we want to see Rico yet she's the one that's stopping us?
Cj - 23-May-16 @ 8:33 PM
I am in the process of divorce which is in the final stages. My husband lives in America and has never seen our daughter who is now 19 months. I left him when he got physically abusive after I fell pregnant. He doesn't pay any child support or anything like that for her. He has been using Skype to build some sort of a relationship with our daughter which isn't easy. Especially when he gets abusive. Having to text him and continuously fight with him is really draining me and it isn't good for my daughter at all. Is there anything I can do? Do I have to keep allowing contact?
Rite2mel - 21-May-16 @ 1:10 PM
My soon to be ex husband is mentally abusive. He is a narcissist and said that if I try to get child support from the Court he will try to take our kids away from me. He said he has multiple text messages from me to use against me. One including a text where I was suicidal (ONLY because my doctor switched my depression medication) the day I felt suicical I immediately stopped taking the medicine and my kids were Never in an danger of seeing me kill myself as he claims. He says he will use that to take my kids if I have the court decide child support. He has also said its more important that he's not financially crippled then having their mother in their life and he will do whatever it takes no matter how that would make the kids feel. Tonight when we met to finalize he divorce papers at his house he was SECRETLY RECORDING ME! He is more and more mentally abusive and I'm wondering if he really could have the kids taken away from me or if I SHOULD have the courts decide since he is threatening me if I don't do what he wants! He was also on probation back in 2010 for domestic abuse for holding me against my will in our house! He says it's a sealed document and can't be used against him!!
Needing advice - 21-May-16 @ 11:27 AM
Jj - Your Question:
I'm in desperate need of advice. Meach and my ex split 2 years ago and I have never once stopped him from seeing her. For the past 2 months he's admitted to self harming in very obvious and noticeable places. My little girl is 4 and is starting to ask about the cuts on daddy's arm. Well 2 weeks ago things went from bad to worse. With in a weekend he has been accused of rape twice. Not only that he was once again in hospital for trying to commit suicide. The whole situation has led me to want to stop contact. Not forever. But at least until he is receiving he help he clearly needs and his mental health is been addressed. I don't want little girl to see all of this because I don't know how to answer he questions and don't want her mentally scared. I just want to know if 1. I'm been reasonable and 2. If I'm within my rights to do this. Thanks.

Our Response:
You don't say whether you have a court order in place or not, but I assume not. Are you on good terms with your ex? Can you speak to him to discuss with him why you currently don't want your daughter to see him? You have every right to keep your daughter away from your ex if you have safeguarding issues. If you are still on good terms with your ex, you may want to also speak to his family to explain your concerns and/or try and urge him personally to get help.
ChildSupportLaws - 17-May-16 @ 10:46 AM
Father - Your Question:
Hi im after advice I hav a 4 week old daughter wiv an ex who is refusing to let me see her because I hav entered a new relationship, I saw her everday for 2 weeks and had her to stay twice whilst she went out drinking I was present at the birth and there wen she was registered. She is in the process of takin me to the csa which I will be willing to pay to see her what rights do I hav and how do I go about gaining access to see her. Also I hav two children 4 and 6 from a previous relationship who I had to stay 3 nights a week for 2 years since we split up and she has now stopped me seeing them because of my new relationship. I am on both certificates and a great dad to all 3 children, what are my rights and what kind of access would I be allowed thanks x

Our Response:
If your ex does not wish to let you see your children, you can suggest mediation in the first instance and if she refuses, then you will be allowed to apply to court. Your ex has no right to stop you seeing your children on the basis that she doesn't like your partner. Please see link: When Your Ex-Partner Denies You Access, here. You then have the option to go through the procedure laid out in the article. I hope this helps.
ChildSupportLaws - 16-May-16 @ 1:39 PM
I'm in desperate need of advice. Meach and my ex split 2 years ago and I have never once stopped him from seeing her. For the past 2 months he's admitted to self harming in very obvious and noticeable places. My little girl is 4 and is starting to ask about the cuts on daddy's arm. Well 2 weeks ago things went from bad to worse. With in a weekend he has been accused of rape twice. Not only that he was once again in hospital for trying to commit suicide. The whole situation has led me to want to stop contact. Not forever. But at least until he is receiving he help he clearly needs and his mental health is been addressed. I don't want little girl to see all of this because I don't know how to answer he questions and don't want her mentally scared. I just want to know if 1. I'm been reasonable and 2. If I'm within my rights to do this. Thanks.
Jj - 16-May-16 @ 11:57 AM
Hi im after advice i hav a 4 week old daughter wiv an ex who is refusing to let me see her because i hav entered a new relationship, i saw her everday for 2 weeks and had her to stay twice whilst she went out drinking i was present at the birth and there wen she was registered. She is in the process of takin me to the csa which i will be willing to pay to see her what rights do i hav and how do i go about gaining access to see her.Also i hav two children 4 and 6 from a previous relationship who i had to stay 3 nights a week for 2 years since we split up and she has now stopped me seeing them because of my new relationship.I am on both certificates and a great dad to all 3 children, what are my rights and what kind of access would i be allowed thanks x
Father - 15-May-16 @ 9:44 PM
Thousandtrees - Your Question:
< Please see below for my previous post > thank you for your response.I am aware about parental responsibility, sorry I wasn't clear. I mean where do I stand if my ex partner was to go down the root you suggested giving the information that I have given you about my worries in regards to his mental health/behaviour etc? Many thanks I'm currently pregnant and the father lives over 60 miles away. We split up a few months ago because I believe he is a pathalogical liar and has some serious mental health problems. He is also a very big 'pot' smoker. My worry is that when our baby is born, he will try and take him from me, or if he was to take him away to stay at his for the weekend, I worry what will happen because he goes for days of turning his phone off to 'sort his head out' meaning smoking and drinking himself silly. He has told me he has attempted suicide twice and very nearly succeeded both times. Our relationship only lasted 6 months so I don't know much about him apart from some things that I find very disturbing and makes me worry for the safety of our baby when the baby is in his custody. Is there any advice that you could give me please? Also I'm a single mum, on a low income and I know I wouldn't be able to afford going to court.is there any financial help out there as I am aware that legal aid has now stopped? ThanksOur Response:As specified in the article, only if the father is issued with parental responsibility to your child will he have any rights, i.e if you do not add his name to the birth certificate, he will have no rights, but will have the option to apply for those rights via the court process. Please also see link: here for further information.ChildSupportLaws - 9-May-16 @ 12:52 PM

Our Response:
Unless you put your ex's name on the birth certificate will he have any rights. If you put your ex's name on the birth certificate then he will have Parental Responsibility which means he can keep your child and the police cannot get involved and help to return him/her. You would then have to apply through court to have your child returned. If you do not put his name on the birth certificate, then he will not have PR, which means if he attempted to take the child, then the police could get involved and return your child to you. However, if you want to put your ex's name on the birth certificate but are concerned that your ex will try to take your child, then you could apply through the courts for a Child Arrangement order which determines who the child should live with, please see gov.uk link here . If you are concerned for the welfare of your child, until the order came through you could arrange supervised visits only. I hope this answers your question.
ChildSupportLaws - 11-May-16 @ 10:51 AM
< Please see below for my previous post > thank you for your response...I am aware about parental responsibility, sorry I wasn't clear. I mean where do I stand if my ex partner was to go down the root you suggested giving the information that I have given you about my worries in regards to his mental health/behaviour etc? Many thanks I'm currently pregnant and the father lives over 60 miles away. We split up a few months ago because I believe he is a pathalogical liar and has some serious mental health problems. He is also a very big 'pot' smoker. My worry is that when our baby is born, he will try and take him from me, or if he was to take him away to stay at his for the weekend, I worry what will happen because he goes for days of turning his phone off to 'sort his head out' meaning smoking and drinking himself silly. He has told me he has attempted suicide twice and very nearly succeeded both times. Our relationship only lasted 6 months so I don't know much about him apart from some things that I find very disturbing and makes me worry for the safety of our baby when the baby is in his custody. Is there any advice that you could give me please? Also I'm a single mum, on a low income and I know I wouldn't be able to afford going to court.is there any financial help out there as I am aware that legal aid has now stopped? Thanks Our Response: As specified in the article, only if the father is issued with parental responsibility to your child will he have any rights, i.e if you do not add his name to the birth certificate, he will have no rights, but will have the option to apply for those rights via the court process. Please also see link: here for further information. ChildSupportLaws - 9-May-16 @ 12:52 PM
Thousandtrees - 10-May-16 @ 2:41 PM
< Please see below for my previous post > thank you for your response...I am aware about parental responsibility, sorry I wasn't clear. I mean where do I stand if my ex partner was to go down the root you suggested giving the information that I have given you about my worries in regards to his mental health/behaviour etc? Many thanks I'm currently pregnant and the father lives over 60 miles away. We split up a few months ago because I believe he is a pathalogical liar and has some serious mental health problems. He is also a very big 'pot' smoker. My worry is that when our baby is born, he will try and take him from me, or if he was to take him away to stay at his for the weekend, I worry what will happen because he goes for days of turning his phone off to 'sort his head out' meaning smoking and drinking himself silly. He has told me he has attempted suicide twice and very nearly succeeded both times. Our relationship only lasted 6 months so I don't know much about him apart from some things that I find very disturbing and makes me worry for the safety of our baby when the baby is in his custody. Is there any advice that you could give me please? Also I'm a single mum, on a low income and I know I wouldn't be able to afford going to court.is there any financial help out there as I am aware that legal aid has now stopped? Thanks Our Response: As specified in the article, only if the father is issued with parental responsibility to your child will he have any rights, i.e if you do not add his name to the birth certificate, he will have no rights, but will have the option to apply for those rights via the court process. Please also see link: here for further information. ChildSupportLaws - 9-May-16 @ 12:52 PM
Thousandtrees - 10-May-16 @ 8:16 AM
Thousandtrees - Your Question:
I'm currently pregnant and the father lives over 60 miles away. We split up a few months ago because I believe he is a pathalogical liar and has some serious mental health problems. He is also a very big 'pot' smoker. My worry is that when our baby is born, he will try and take him from me, or if he was to take him away to stay at his for the weekend, I worry what will happen because he goes for days of turning his phone off to 'sort his head out' meaning smoking and drinking himself silly. He has told me he has attempted suicide twice and very nearly succeeded both times. Our relationship only lasted 6 months so I don't know much about him apart from some things that I find very disturbing and makes me worry for the safety of our baby when the baby is in his custody. Is there any advice that you could give me please? Also I'm a single mum, on a low income and I know I wouldn't be able to afford going to court.is there any financial help out there as I am aware that legal aid has now stopped? Thanks

Our Response:
As specified in the article, only if the father is issued with parental responsibility to your child will he have any rights, i.e if you do not add his name to the birth certificate, he will have no rights, but will have the option to apply for those rights via the court process. Please also see link: here for further information.
ChildSupportLaws - 9-May-16 @ 12:52 PM
I'm currently pregnant and the father lives over 60 miles away. We split up a few months ago because i believe he is a pathalogical liar and has some serious mental health problems. He is also a very big 'pot' smoker. My worry is that when our baby is born, he will try and take him from me, or if he was to take him away to stay at his for the weekend, i worry what will happen because he goes for days of turning his phone off to 'sort his head out' meaning smoking and drinking himself silly. He has told me he has attempted suicide twice and very nearly succeeded both times. Our relationship only lasted 6 months so i don't know much about him apart from some things that i find very disturbing and makes me worry for the safety of our baby when the baby is in his custody. Is there any advice that you could give me please? Also i'm a single mum, on a low income and I know i wouldn't be able to afford going to court...is there any financial help out there as I am aware that legal aid has now stopped? Thanks
Thousandtrees - 8-May-16 @ 11:27 PM
Smelv - Your Question:
My ex picked 3 nights a week when we split to see our 1 yr old daughter however if he decides to go on a drinking bender he will not be in contact on his arranged days and just turn up a few days later demanding to see her! Where do I stand in a legal position as we both have PR. At the minute she's too young to understand but I'd rather stop contact now before she's old enough to realise what's going on

Our Response:
If you can't agree between you that your ex turns up at the correct time, or he keeps flouting this, then you have a couple of options. Either suggest Mediation as a way to sorting this out. Mediation is when two or more parties meet to resolve problems before the matter reaches court. It is most often used in family proceedings, Contact Orders, residence agreements and divorce. It is a formal negotiation and courts can accept the agreement of the mediation instead of having to go through the court process, although it is subject to final court approval. Mediation takes place in front of a neutral third party. The mediator has no pre-conceptions and will not force you to make an agreement. They will assist the two parties in taking turns in the conversation, and helping you reach an decision that you are ready to agree with. Mediators do not pass judgment or offer guidance; they are there, in effect, to facilitate conversation between the two sides. If your ex refuses to attend, then you can apply to take the matter to court. However, the courts will wish to see that you have attempted to explore mediation before you can apply.
ChildSupportLaws - 5-May-16 @ 12:14 PM
My partners ex has a history of drug abuse and domestic violence against my partner. He has been in rehab 6 times and still takes drugs and drinks in excessive amounts. When he comes for his children one is 4 the other 8. The 8 year old doesn't want to go with him. The 4 year old does only when she speaks to him over the phone and he more or less talks her into it... He isn't paying any csa etc. He is violent towards me and tells my partner and his children that his is going to beat me up etc. Tells his children to swear at me such as your a fat c**t or bast**d We're does my partner stand in all this legally ? She is trying so hard to make things easier for her kids but this so called dad is a nightmare. Both children were born after 2003 and he does have pr as far as I'm aware.
Smithy89M - 4-May-16 @ 11:26 PM
My ex picked 3 nights a week when we split to see our 1 yr old daughter however if he decides to go on a drinking bender he will not be in contact on his arranged days and just turn up a few days later demanding to see her! Where do I stand in a legal position as we both have PR. At the minute she's too young to understand but I'd rather stop contact now before she's old enough to realise what's going on
Smelv - 4-May-16 @ 5:42 PM
Shelley- Your Question:
Hello there I've been married since 2007 and have 2 girls 15 and 13 nearly me and my husband are going through a rough time we're going to split I'm moving out he as said he wants the girls 3 days one week 4 the week after and repete every fortnight but my eldest only wants to stay every other weekend I don't feel the 4/3every other week will work as they have no routine can he make them stay if the don't want too

Our Response:
As your eldest daughter is 15, should he wish to take the matter to court to try and obtain a child arrangement order, then your daughter would be asked her opinion and her opinion would be taken on board. It's unlikely the court would force your daughter to stay more than she wishes to. It may be that these issues will resolve themselves naturally when you make the split. If they do not mediation may be an option.
ChildSupportLaws - 4-May-16 @ 2:30 PM
Hello there I've been married since 2007 and have 2 girls 15 and 13 nearly me and my husband are going through a rough time we're going to split I'm moving out he as said he wants the girls 3 days one week 4 the week after and repete every fortnight but my eldest only wants to stay every other weekend I don't feel the 4/3every other week will work as they have no routine can he make them stay if the don't want too
Shelley - 3-May-16 @ 10:33 PM
hi my ex as apllied for a child arrangements order to gain access to r 3 children. bt e asnt got parental responsability and on the c100 form i ave received no order as bin included we r listed to attend court on the 24 may. from wat i ve read on varies sites e cant ave anyaccess to r children as no order as bin made for parental responsability. am i rite that application shudn of bin made without both oder bin put on aplication.
donna - 1-May-16 @ 4:35 PM
My ex has my son every other weekend usually. And up until now it has been, fairly, amicable. The last time my son went he came back upset that his step mum had shouted at him after having an accident. He is claiming that my son is lying and as punishment will miss his next weekend at his dad. I feel this is completely unreasonable and have said that if he doesn't have him this weekend then I'm cutting contact as it is not fair. He is on my sons birth certificate so has PR. Am I ok to do so?
Kntr4 - 28-Apr-16 @ 9:14 PM
Bobby123 - Your Question:
My ex refused to go on the birth certificate when our 2 year old was born but now out of the blue wants parental rights in the form of a signed affidavit. Can I be forced into this? Access is not an issue he can see our child whenever he wishes. I do not trust him at all

Our Response:
You cannot be forced into signing anything you do not wish to sign. If you do not agree with your ex wanting parental responsibility, then your ex will have the option to take the matter to court. However, the court rarely refuses a biological father parental responsibility unless necessary.
ChildSupportLaws - 27-Apr-16 @ 12:40 PM
My ex refused to go on the birth certificate when our 2 year old was born but now out of the blue wants parental rights in the form of a signed affidavit. Can I be forced into this? Access is not an issue he can see our child whenever he wishes. I do not trust him at all
Bobby123 - 26-Apr-16 @ 4:29 PM
mousec - Your Question:
Hello I have separated with my partner about 1 month now we have a 3 year old we live together.I have a shared ownership property 25% mortgage 75% rent My ex partner doesn't work and I work full time and pay all bills in the house Now we split up she has no intention of leaving the property I'm prepared to support my child with payments and anything else I can but I don't wanna be sponged off by supporting my ex She said she gonna take my child and I c her on my days off work which I agreed with but I don't want to live with her as I'm trying to be civil but she's not Where do I stand with getting her out the house?

Our Response:
I can only suggest you seek legal advice. It is a tricky situation and it depends on how long you have been together. Your ex may have rights if you have a child between you and she is to become the primary carer (especially if she has nowhere to live). A court can also make long-term arrangements about housing in certain cases where there are children. It's worth paying for some advice in order to find out about your own rights and options. In the meantime please see the CAB link: 'Ending a relationship when you're living together', here which will give you some rudimentary information regarding your situation. I hope this helps.
ChildSupportLaws - 26-Apr-16 @ 9:59 AM
Hello I have separated with my partner about 1 month now we have a 3 year old we live together. I have a shared ownership property 25% mortgage 75% rent My ex partner doesn't work and I work full time and pay all bills in the house Now we split up she has no intention of leaving the property I'm prepared to support my child with payments and anything else I can but I don't wanna be sponged off by supporting my ex She said she gonna take my child and I c her on my days off work which I agreed with but I don't want to live with her as I'm trying to be civil but she's not Where do I stand with getting her out the house?
mousec - 25-Apr-16 @ 8:09 AM
Hi there I have a 8 months old baby. Father n me r not together but his on the birth certificate . I'm Hungarian living in the uk. I'm planning to move back home but I think dad wud not let me. Baby his on the child protection plan as father was drinking and was abuseve towards me when I was pregnant . He sees baby only Friday's supervised contact. I dunno how can I move back home or what do I need to do. Baby his under my care but there is no court order or anything like that. Please help me I'm really desperate . Thank you
Alexa91 - 23-Apr-16 @ 1:28 PM
Vikkiki - Your Question:
Hi I split up with my ex few month ago because he cheating on me with hes ex he keeps threatening me he will take baby away from me and im only pregnant 12 weeks have some screenshots where he saying that or like he destroy my life and simular stuff hes ex and friends threatening me too have all messages to prove he had loads criminal stuff in past no job no place to live does he can try to get baby from me if I wont put he on birth sertificate? Thanks for answer

Our Response:
If you do not put his name on the birth certificate then he has no parental rights. However, I would keep all the texts and correspondence such as this as evidence should you need it. If you also feel your ex is harassing or intimidating you, then you can should contact the police, see: Ask the Police link here .
ChildSupportLaws - 22-Apr-16 @ 2:53 PM
jen - Your Question:
My ex has refused to pay csa for the last 6 months or so I've now told him I'm going to cut contact as he still refuses to pay. he's now saying if I send my son to my mums for the night (a request made by my son) he will turn up with the police to take him. where do I stand in regards to this? T.I.A. :)

Our Response:
Firstly, you do not give a reason why your ex has refused to pay CSA. If he is registered with the agency then he will fall into arrears if he is avoiding paying. If he cannot pay because he has lost his job for instance, then this is not his fault. Secondly, child maintenance and child access have no bearing on one another and children should not be used as bartering tools or bribes in situations such as this. If for any reason your ex cannot pay child maintenance, then he should not have to lose out on access to his child as a result. If your ex is making threats regarding taking your son, if he has Parental Responsibility the Police cannot get involved here to help take your son, or retrieve your son if your ex decides to take him without your consent (because he has PR). It is a difficult question to be able to advise on without knowing the full situation, but I can only recommend Mediation if you have come to a stalemate situation regarding finding a solution to your disagreement. Situations like this can spiral out of control and it is advisable to try and sort the matter out rationally before it goes too far.
ChildSupportLaws - 22-Apr-16 @ 12:16 PM
Hi i split up with my ex few month ago because he cheating on me with hes ex he keeps threatening me he will take baby away from me and im only pregnant 12 weeks have some screenshots where he saying that or like he destroy my life and simular stuff hes ex and friends threatening me too have all messages to prove he had loads criminal stuff in past no job no place to live does he can try to get baby from me if i wont put he on birth sertificate? Thanks for answer
Vikkiki - 22-Apr-16 @ 9:47 AM
My ex has refused to pay csa for the last 6 months or so I've now told him I'm going to cut contact as he still refuses to pay... he's now saying if I send my son to my mums for the night (a request made by my son) he will turn up with the police to take him... where do I stand in regards to this? T.I.A. :)
jen - 21-Apr-16 @ 5:07 PM
Ontherock- Your Question:
My ex took my child from the western isles of Scotland to Cornwall to live and she is refusing to give me her address. I think her and my child are in a refuge what can I do to get her address for taking her to court?

Our Response:
You can apply through the courts via a C4 form which is anapplication for an order for disclosure of a child's whereabouts. If you apply for this alongside a contact order it will allow the courts to trace your child in order that you can apply for contact/access. It does not mean your ex's address will be disclosed to you (if your ex wishes it to remain confidential) but it does mean you can put the wheels in motion to regaining access to your child.
ChildSupportLaws - 21-Apr-16 @ 12:00 PM
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