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What Rights Does My Ex Have With Regards to Our Children?

By: Elizabeth Mugan BA/BSc, PGDipLaw, BVC, CIArb - Updated: 12 Nov 2018 |
 
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We get many comments and questions from you about child support. We've taken a selection of your comments addressing the issue of keeping contact with your children and the fear of your ex taking them from you - and asked our expert to give some comprehensive information and advice.

The traditional view of the family set up has become something of a minority in 21st century society and because of this, a broken down relationship can lead to complicated legal issues. Whether you are recently divorced and wondering about the role your ex-husband has in your child's life, or you have a child from a relationship that has broken down, but were never married, you need to understand your legal position when it comes to creating an amicable situation for your child to grow up in. Here we aim to dispel some of the myths about parental access and to give you the advice you need to rebuild your life and your children's lives.

Parental Responsibility

Parental responsibility (also known as PR) creates "responsibilities" rather than "rights" regardless of whatever the state of the parents' relationship, emphasising the view that each will maintain an equal, shared and continuing responsibility towards the child.

Where both the mother and the father have PR, they have the power to act alone unless there is a circumstance where, by law, each person with PR is to give consent i.e. in the case of adoption. In reality, holding PR gives the ability to make decisions in relation to the child's name, religion, school, consent to medical treatment and marriage etc.

Who has Parental Responsibility?

Below is a flow chart to help you determine if you have Parental Responsibility:

A mother always has PR. A father who is married to the mother at the time of birth will automatically have PR.

To clarify, for unmarried fathers, the situation is different. Unmarried fathers will have PR if:

  • They marry the mother after the child is born
  • They have jointly registered the child's birth with the mother i.e. their name is on the birth certificate
  • For pre December 2003 registrations, the mother provides a formal declaration of agreement that the father's name is to be added to the birth record and the father re-registers the birth to add his details
  • The court orders a residence order in favour of the father, although this will usually terminate when the resident order ends (generally age 16)
  • A birth parent has signed a parental responsibility agreement
  • A step-parent's PR agreement can be made by consent with all those already having PR for the child
  • By obtaining an adoption order from the court

Where a father has not automatically gained PR, the mother does not have to add the father's name to the birth certificate. However, this will not stop the father from being able to apply to the court for an order, such as a parental responsibility order, which may result in him acquiring PR.

Other family members

Other family members, taking grandparents as an example, do not automatically have PR. They would only be granted PR by a court if, for example, they were appointed as Guardian or were to adopt their grandchild for any reason. If a father with PR asks his parents to take care of the child, they can do so usually without the mother's agreement. However, the child would not be able to remain resident with the grandparents unless they had been granted a residency order by the court.

Voluntary access arrangements

If more than one of you has PR, then the best thing you can do for both your children and yourselves is to voluntarily agree to contact and access etc. If you can do this, then you are more likely to maintain a more harmonious relationship for the sake of your children. Additionally, it will prevent you from having to go to court and from having to pay court and solicitor's fees if you are unable to get legal aid.

Of course, this is the ideal scenario and not always a realistic one. If you cannot agree on residence and contact etc. then you may find that your ex will end up applying to the court for an order.

My Child has Been Taken Away From Me: What Can I Do?

Unfortunately in some circumstances, a father may take your child during agreed contact time and then refuse to bring them home again. If this happens and you are unable to negotiate with the father then you should call the police. However, the police may not be able to do anything. This generally comes down to whether or not the father has PR. If they do not, then the child is the mother's sole responsibility and the police may be able to take the child back to the mother. If the father does have PR, then in usual circumstances, they have the same rights as the mother to look after the child and therefore, so long as the child is not in any harm, the police cannot usually do anything about it. This can be understandably distressing for a mother. What can be done about it?

Residence Orders

A person can make an application for a residence order, whether or not they have PR. For example, a father without PR can make an application for and be granted residency but then he will automatically acquire PR at the same time. It is unusual for a father to be granted residency as well as a mother as this would result in shared residency, which is not always in the best interests of the child. As a result, it is usually the mother who would be granted sole residency.

If a child has been taken by their father and the police cannot do anything, the mother can make an application for a residency order. If the child was snatched or she believes that her child may be in danger, then she can apply for an emergency ex parte application. This is also known as a 'without notice application' i.e. the other party is not given notice of the application. If the mother cannot make an ex parte application then an application can still be made but the father can attend and make his case. At the end of the hearing, the judge will make an order.

There are lots of other orders which the court can make, including contact orders, prohibited steps orders and specific issue orders.

What Factors Will be Taken Into Account?

When reviewing applications, the court will take a number of factors into consideration with regards to the child or children's welfare. These are:

  1. What is best for the child and the feelings and wishes of the child. This is considered according to the child's age and understanding
  2. How capable the parents (and any other relevant people) are of meeting the needs of the child or children
  3. Any harm that the child is at risk of suffering or has suffered
  4. The likely effect of a change of circumstances on the child
  5. The age, background, personality, sex and any other characteristics that the Court believes to be relevant
  6. The child's emotional, physical and educational needs

Domestic abuse

If you have been subjected to domestic abuse, this would clearly be a very important factor for the court to consider when determining what will be in the best interests of the child. If the father makes an application to the court then you can oppose it by giving evidence as to why he should not be given the order. You can oppose any application in much the same way.

Reality Check

When you find yourself fighting to look after your own child your emotions can begin to take over. It is important when you begin to plan your child's parenting and the access of the father that you understand the law and how it might impact on your child's future.

Remember that if your child's father is on the birth certificate, or you were married and are now divorced, the father has the same access to the child as you do in the eyes of the law. If they take your child or even threaten to do so, the police can often be powerless to change the situation. The best advice is to seek mediation and organise access in a written agreement, give yourself something concrete to work from. If your ex is unreasonable then apply for a residency order to ensure that you keep custody of your child.

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I split with my Ex early in 2017, we have 3 children under 13, we divorced late 2017, we had agreed 50/50 child care, she then told them to chose where they wanted to live and one chose to live with me two with her. We had been living in Surrey but in March 2018 she announced that she was moving to Northern Ireland and was expecting to take the children with her. I got a PSO and she moved there in June without the children who have been living with me ever since. I applied for a CAO and it will be heard early in January. CAFCASS have seen all concerned and are suggesting that my eldest (13) goes to live with her and the younger two stay with me(11/9). My question is as she is not a reasonable person can I get the court to define who pays for visitation, she moved why should I have to pay anything surely she should cover all the costs of flying the children backwards & forwards for visits? She currently pays maintenance for all 3. Neither of us earn that much as to afford regular visits.
Bread - 12-Nov-18 @ 2:19 PM
Hello, I'm confuse about my situation. Since my pregnancy the dad of my child hasn't been about, he have been missing in all of this. When my godmother asked me to leave her house, he didn't take the responsibility of us, so I went with council and I got a flat already. Now after 6 months when he did find out that the baby it doesn't goimg to have hes surname, he's offering me money just to hes surname be there. I do honestly don't want nothing from him, I've been alone in this situation by myself. Now he want to be the dad that has been there. My question is: Can I have the baby without hes surname ?would he have right towards him? If I got to other country to have my baby, because I dont have support here, it would affect my house with council?can them take it away ?
Bea22 - 4-Nov-18 @ 6:01 PM
Hi me and my girlfriend really aren’t happy together, I love my 18 month old daughter more than anything but ever since she was born we just haven’t been getting on at all. I have tried to make the relationship work for the sake of my little girl but it is getting to the point now where being together is unbearable. I know the best thing to do is to go our separate ways but I am terrified she will make it as difficult as possible to see my daughter. How long will I have to be apart from my daughter if my girlfriend decides to make the separation messy?
Dadmk - 21-Oct-18 @ 9:26 AM
Two children. Age 8 & 6. Both settled and well adjusted with great local school and extra curricular activities. Happy. Content. Cohabiting for 10 years. Relationship has broken down. Mediation agreed to settle residency, financial and property concerns. He cancelled pre-determined mediation date. He rearranged mediation date for a time when I couldn’t care for our children. His response “ask your friends to look after them”. While this is fine and well orrinarily it’s not feasible before half term. Now mediation arrangement for November and our relationship is deteriorating daily. Issues, he ended relationship in August. Left family home after violent outburst and returned 2 weeks later. We are developing property. We are in debt. Neither of us have money to move out of the family home. He said categorically he cant do I’ve suggested I move into my parents. My parents live 4hrs drive away. He’s not communicating with me and keeps on saying we will discuss at mediation. This in principle is fine, but he cancelled mediation in October and I have little faith he will keep appointment in November. Further, we have business together. 50% shareholders. He’s saying I have no rights to business. It’s my main source of income since 2012. He won’t give me child maintenance, or any support whatsoever. He controls all financial matters. I want to leave to stay with my parents with our children. The advice I’ve been given is that it won’t look favourable in the Courts if I just take them. I have looked into schools and I can get them moved and settled with another equally good school. He’s refusing to even discuss it. We are now both arguing infornt of children. It’s a toxic environment. It’s awful. Advise? What’s my legal position regards taking them without written consent.
Dolly1988 - 17-Oct-18 @ 3:49 PM
Hi I need some advice if anyone can help me. Me and my current partner are going through a bit of a tough time and I have 2 children to someone else he has made remarks to my 5 year old stating he is going to slap my current partner and get some one to slap me. Over these last 2 year's he has said he will pick the kids up or just show up with attitude he rarely pays any child support for his children he will give me £6 a week for my daughter's dinner money for school he will send messaged to me calling my partner saying he is going to get people round my house to drag my partner out. When I was with him he was physically abusive towards me he is also ex army and suffers from ptsd and is still violent towards other women and has recently been in a fight with someone who has left his face a mess I don't want this around my kids however I don't want my children not seeing there dad. My son has a great relationship with however our daughter does not he only started seeing her when she was 15 months old and he was ment to take her for a few hours as he lives quite far away and I don't have transport however he kept her over night and refused to bring her home until the next day all if this is causing problems for me and my current partner please can anyone give me any advice
Confused kitten - 16-Oct-18 @ 5:20 PM
Hi I need some advice if anyone can help me. Me and my current partner are going through a bit of a tough time and I have 2 children to someone else he has made remarks to my 5 year old stating he is going to slap my current partner and get some one to slap me. Over these last 2 year's he has said he will pick the kids up or just show up with attitude he rarely pays any child support for his children he will give me £6 a week for my daughter's dinner money for school he will send messaged to me calling my partner saying he is going to get people round my house to drag my partner out. When I was with him he was physically abusive towards me he is also ex army and suffers from ptsd and is still violent towards other women and has recently been in a fight with someone who has left his face a mess I don't want this around my kids however I don't want my children not seeing there dad. My son has a great relationship with however our daughter does not he only started seeing her when she was 15 months old and he was ment to take her for a few hours as he lives quite far away and I don't have transport however he kept her over night and refused to bring her home until the next day all if this is causing problems for me and my current partner please can anyone give me any advice
Confused kitten - 16-Oct-18 @ 2:33 PM
Hi I need some advice if anyone can help me. Me and my current partner are going through a bit of a tough time and I have 2 children to someone else he has made remarks to my 5 year old stating he is going to slap my current partner and get some one to slap me. Over these last 2 year's he has said he will pick the kids up or just show up with attitude he rarely pays any child support for his children he will give me £6 a week for my daughter's dinner money for school he will send messaged to me calling my partner saying he is going to get people round my house to drag my partner out. When I was with him he was physically abusive towards me he is also ex army and suffers from ptsd and is still violent towards other women and has recently been in a fight with someone who has left his face a mess I don't want this around my kids however I don't want my children not seeing there dad. My son has a great relationship with however our daughter does not he only started seeing her when she was 15 months old and he was ment to take her for a few hours as he lives quite far away and I don't have transport however he kept her over night and refused to bring her home until the next day all if this is causing problems for me and my current partner please can anyone give me any advice
Confused kitten - 16-Oct-18 @ 11:26 AM
My husband is English. We didn't marry in the UK but, UK recognized the civil marriage in my country anyway. I've got 2.5 years visa (leave to enter). Our marriage is a disaster. We have a lots of problems, communication etc and my husband's drinking. I'm in my mid pregnancy. He already started to threaten me in many ways. Would it be better for me I give a birth to the baby in my country rather than UK in this case? If I give a birth in the UK he threatened me that he can take the child of me if he wants etc. Im scared too. About many things, that already happened and that can happen regards to baby especially when I have this visa issued on certain period. Would he be able to send me in my country after that and keep the child, finding a fake reason that I'm not m.sable etc. especially if child will be born in the UK? Ud appreciate so so much your answer ASAP. Thank you L.
Laura - 9-Oct-18 @ 7:49 PM
Hi there I have just split from my partner & we have an almost 4 month old baby boy. Our baby was born prem & with a condition that left his left lung very small & weak. He is currently on oxygen & has regular hospital appointments. I am on maternity & do everything for the baby & lived at the hospital for near 8weeks with little support from my ex as he was “at work” & keeping things running at home. He came for an hour each night. never came to stay at hospital at the weekend even when he didn’t have his daughter. He was using my car for work so I had no means to get to or from the hospital if I’d have wished. I asked to get my car back numerous times but he said he didn’t have time to insure his van. My ex partner has only had his son for 6hours on his own since he was born whilst I had a break & went out with a friend, during this time he changed 1 nappy (that was back to front) leaving our baby wet through. I thought he would kindly do the night feeds that evening etc but awoke to hear our son crying & my ex had gone in the other room to sleep. When I’ve asked if he’ll help he says he works & im off so I should do it. My ex has a 7 yrs old daughter our sons half sister & he has her half the time & a court order is in place due to him & his ex wife’s relationship being so poor. He often said he wants our son half the time if we split & he’ll take me to court if I don’t agree. My partner smokes heavily & used to drink a bottle of scotch a night. The drinking has subsided somewhat but he does still drink a lot of scotch over the weekend.. We are not married but his name is on he birth certificate. The house we all lives in is mine in my name & I bought it before we met. He didcontribute towards half of everything money wise. Our baby has s routine with me at home I wouldn’t stop him seeing his son but do not want him to have him half the time whilst he is so little on oxygen. I am concerned about my sons lungs & the oxygen as my partner has not stopped smoking. He should change his clothes & shower before touching him in the Drs request but doesn’t. I was a full timea police officer on maternity at the moment. I can discuss a flexible roster with work. My parents are retired & would help me greatly. There was an altercation between my parents & my ex whilst our son was in hospital due to them not liking the way he was treating me. My ex says my dad made a threat towards him & that they barged into the house. No kids or myself were present. He doesn’t want my parents minding our son without my supervision which upsets me greatly. They shouldn’t have come the house & the things shouldn’t have been said but they were very worried about me & adore there only grandson. They would love & care for him amazingly. My ex runs his own locksmiths full time I have helped look after his daughter do the school runs, even took days off leave to look after her in the past. He tells the court he can have his daughter no probs in front of his ex wife where the
Tink - 5-Oct-18 @ 11:15 PM
My baby is 4 months old. Me and my ex have had a nasty break up but I still allow him to see his son when ever he wants. He only has him 1 night a week by his choice. I decided to go to csa just so I didn't have to contact him for money for the baby as he's very abussive and gets really angry but now iv gone to csa iv receiving all sorts of abuse and he even threatened to end his own life. But he's now said he's taking me to court to get 50/50 custody just so he don't have to pay me anything. Where do I stand in all of this cause I didn't ever mind if he wanted 50/50 but he always said he's to busy and now he's really aggressive
Lisaj - 2-Oct-18 @ 9:46 AM
Hi. My ex partner is telling me he is going to seek legal advice to have access to our son. I just don't understand where his logic is coming from as i allow him to have his son on his days off from work Monday Tuesday and Wednesday day. It would be easier on my life if he had him on the weekends but i work around him as they are his only days off. He picked our son up from school yesterday and just because i wont allow my son to attend his aunties wedding ( there's a massive story behind this too) he brought my son back this evening and said he will go to court to get access to our son when he already has access? what will happen if he does take this to court can i request for him to have him on weekends instead?my ex has never lived with up he is 30 years old and lives with his parents and they cannot provide our son with a room to stay over so he ends up staying in his dads room.. do they have to provide a room for him if they want to continue to keep him over night?
LYM - 2-Oct-18 @ 1:43 AM
My ex (with joint PR) wants to take my children out of school to go to a music festival.I understand it's not the most significant issue compared to many on here but I don't agree with the principle of removing from school for that reason alone.Can I stop him? Or restrict the legality of it to him alone?I can't see why I should have to pay, or be liable, for any fine. Any views or advice would be appreciated
SmileyMum - 29-Sep-18 @ 5:31 PM
Hi, I'm the father of 2 amazing boys 1 and 3(turning 4 in five in 4 days) years old. My ex has stopped me from seeing them for 8 weeks now and won't even allow me to get a present to my oldest for his birthday. I believe she has malicious mother syndrome as she started making things hard for.me.as soon as we broke up and then things escalated when I got a new partner. She is also accusing me of robbery although actually she assaulted me and I have put counter allegations onto the police. However the police have dropped all bail conditions and actually stated that I should be allowed to see my children. Also social services are involved and they have actually stated that the children need to spend time with me as much as possible, as routinely as possible. She said outrightly no to this and will not even contemplate any mediation. I am.very worried about my children. Is there anything I can do?? I'm begging for help.
Glen - 26-Sep-18 @ 12:05 AM
My son is from a previous relationship and me and his mother have not had the best of relationships since splitting up nearly 5 years ago. It's been ups and downs as she has always tried to make it very difficult for me to see him. In the few months before the school summer holidays I noticed that his attendance had dropped into the 80% region. These Days off are usually Mondays and Tuesdays and come accross as a coincidence as they are his mum's days off work . She is always out at the pub sometimes with my son but 95% of the time without him and clubbing with friends leaving my son with his Grandad . This happens almost every weekend that she has him when I do believe she should be spending quality time with him . The other day I bumped into an old friend for her to tell me that the constant partying and going to pub has meant that the people she is associating with has lead her into drugs as she was caught in the toilets of a pub taking Cocaine and was banned from the pub for one month. This all happened nearly a year ago and have only just found this out from an old friend. Obviously I have no proof that she is still using Cocaine just what I am still being told by people. I am very angry at the fact that drugs have been used whilst she is supposed to be looking after our son. I do believe that he would get the structure he needs and the safe environment with myself his step mum and his baby brother. I am writing to you for advice in what to do next as I'm angry and upset about the partying and the drugs and how her lifestyle is affecting my sin and the low school attendance. He has only been back a week and has already had two days off. Please help what I can do next....
Mg010593 - 25-Sep-18 @ 9:00 AM
my ex partner asked me to take the kids on Sat and she knew I had to work for just a few hours on Sat evening and was ok about my niece watching them she is an adult by the way but now my niece can't do it but my nephew who is also and adult said he would do it. it was only for 3 and a half hours. now that she knows the nephew is doing it she's now refusing to bring the children to me on Saturday as it was an overnight stay. can I go to her grandparents house and remove the children to come with me or even get the police to intervene when I arrive to the grand parents as the arrangement is still the same and put in place as I have to work that nite as another person is away. can I still collect my children
skins - 20-Sep-18 @ 8:39 PM
Loopy - Your Question:
I’m 12 weeks pregnant with my ex. He has record of domestic abuse with myself on his record. He is saying he wants overnight access straight away when the baby is born. What are my rights on this? I want him to see the baby but not comfortable with overnight access straight away. Please help

Our Response:
It is unlikely that a court would allow your ex overnight access if he has a record of domestic abuse. As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the child in question. The court will always put the child’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order.
ChildSupportLaws - 18-Sep-18 @ 3:31 PM
I’m 12 weeks pregnant with my ex. He has record of domestic abuse with myself on his record. He is saying he wants overnight access straight away when the baby is born. What are my rights on this? I want him to see the baby but not comfortable with overnight access straight away. Please help
Loopy - 18-Sep-18 @ 2:59 PM
I have a 3 year old daughter, her father is in the army but I found out he has been having an affair with my friend. Only I don’t mind him having contact with my daughter but I do not want her near her. She smokes around her own children therefore I don’t think she would give a second thought about smoking next to my daughter. This might be the norm for her but for me it’s not it’s my daughters health I’m thinking about. Is there a way I can stop him taking my daughter round his new girlfriends house.
Mrsmlgreen - 15-Sep-18 @ 10:32 AM
Stepum - Your Question:
Hi, can anyone offer me an answer to this.my partner has parental responsibility rights and he has a court order which states he can pick his son up early afternoon every Friday due to work commitments he cannot sometimes make that time so he asks me to collect his son which is a two hour drive away. The ex is refusing to let me take him back to the fathers even though the father has given me full permission on his court times I’ve also been in the sons life for 5 years and up till now always collected h with no problems. Can she stop this or does the court order and the fathers permission allow me to collect him?

Our Response:
Much depends upon what the court order specifies. If it specifies that your partner has to pick his child up, then his ex can be pedantic choose to only pass the child to the person named on the court order. However, likewise if your partner's ex refuses to allow you to take the child (for whatever reason), she is still in breach of the order. In which case, your partner would have to refer the matter back to court, where a court will decide whether you are allowed to pick up the child or not. You may wish to suggest that your partner asks a solicitor to send a letter reminding his ex of the terms of the order, or suggest mediation before he refers the matter back to court. Court enforcement should only be used as a final resort, as this will be added expense, and will generally only serve to increase tensions between the parties.
ChildSupportLaws - 10-Sep-18 @ 11:58 AM
Hi, can anyone offer me an answer to this ..my partner has parental responsibility rights and he has a court order which states he can pick his son up early afternoon every Friday due to work commitments he cannot sometimes make that time so he asks me to collect his son which is a two hour drive away. The ex is refusing to let me take him back to the fathers even though the father has given me full permission on his court times I’ve also been in the sons life for 5 years and up till now always collected h with no problems. Can she stop this or does the court order and the fathers permission allow me to collect him?
Stepum - 9-Sep-18 @ 5:35 PM
Hi I have a 4 year old daughter and have been split up from the mother for a couple of years now we have both moved on to new relationships and I am now engaged to my now partner. My fiancée has treat my daughter as her own and my daughter absolutely adores her but now my ex is trying to stop my fiancée from seeing my daughter which I feel is unfair considering my daughter lives with her mother and her partner. I have parental rights as I am on the birth certificate and was wanting to know where I stand on this legally as I feel she shouldn’t be able to do this ?
Andy - 5-Sep-18 @ 11:17 PM
Hi my ex is move in with his new girlfriend and she has kids he now say theChild maintenance that he give me will now go down is this True
Sooty - 27-Aug-18 @ 11:42 AM
Hi I’ve been divorced for 3 years now and I have been separated for 5. I have a consent order from the court back in 2016 saying my daughter lives with me she is 8. My ex is constantly sending me emails telling me off about how I am bringing her up the latest being she’s being bullied in school she isn’t I have had loads of investigations done and also that I dyed her hair albeit with lemon juice and honey and that I have been irresponsible etc. There is a long history of him being nasty to me he doesn’t see his son very often and that’s why there was a court case in the beginning as he treated him badly and my son started to self harm I think he’s going to try and take her away from me as his emails are just aggressive in tone what can I do is it worth going back to a solicitor or do I have to contact him with every decision made. I don’t physically see him as he frightens me so everything is done by email but that was supposed to be for contact dates not him telling me off all the time any help would be greatly appreciated as I’m at my wits end again with his behaviour
Skeats - 26-Aug-18 @ 9:36 PM
Hi. My ex and I have split, we have a 10month old dd. I found out that he has been cheating and it was with someone that is not stable. She lost a child of her own so understandably she is emotional about this. But she very often goes of the rails and drink. I also believe she does recreational drugs. On top of this is highly medicated for depression. I have told my ex he can see our daughter but I don't want her anywhere near her. Can I get a court order for this?
Babbymom - 22-Aug-18 @ 4:26 PM
Hello, I am looking to see if anyone can give me some information. I had a short relationship with my now 6 month old baby’s mum, since the baby was born I travel 1 hour to visit. The mother has always been a little awkward and now it’s gettjnv worse, she says I can have the baby for one day per week and recently let me have an over night stay, every other weekend. However she has now decided against it. What are my rights to have my child at 6 months old? 1 night over night and maybe once or twice for a few hours in the week? I pay maintainace and provide for my child. I have done nothing but try with the mother since pregnancy. Please someone help me
K - 21-Aug-18 @ 6:34 PM
Hi. I am a single mother of 2 boyes ages 3 and 5...their father has PR as he is on the birth certificate. In june he agreed to have the kids for a week. At the end of that week he refused to give them back. I seeked advice from cab and a solicitor but decided to try and work it out between me and the father in the hopes it wouldnt habe to go as far as court. I have been seeing my boys for a couple of hours a week and trying for more. Last weekend i tried to take my boys in a taxi home and my ex headbutted me in front of them and broke my nose. He still has my kids. Police and social services are involved but arent seeming much help? It is the second time on record he has assaulted me in front of our childre. My children havent seen me since the incident and i dont know how they are or anything. Social services said they seemed okay when the police went round there but how can some one who doesnt know my kids know their emotional state? I am looking k to the child arrangement order but is there anything i can do that will be quicker as i am very concern about the well being of my children i have expressed this to social services but they didny say much. Any helo would be appreciated thankyou
Bex - 19-Aug-18 @ 12:57 PM
dog - Your Question:
My ex isn't letting me spend time with my 10year old daughter who is also saying she does not want to see me which is likely to be influenced. is my daughter old enough to make that decision or is it a case of as she is under a certain age she has to see her Dad? Also is it illegal for my ex to not let me see or speak to my daughter

Our Response:
I am sorry to hear this. You would have to go through the process laid out in the link here , with mediation being the first option to suggest to your ex, as a way of trying to resolve the situation outside court.
ChildSupportLaws - 17-Aug-18 @ 11:11 AM
Leigh- Your Question:
Hello, I'm the father of my nearly to be two year old son and I am on the birth certificate. Me and his month split about 9-10 months ago and I moved out of our house about 7-8 months ago as it was a bad situation me still being there ( we tried to keep it for our son but dident work). Since I have moved out I have had my son every Saturday so his mum can work and seen him or had him I'd say atleast 5 nights a week and alot of Sundays (over half of the Sundays since I've moved out) more if I had it my way. I have moved in with family and only just managed to get in to my own place where I will be able to have my child overnight. And would like to make it so I can have him over night at least friday, Saturday and Sunday night and some evenings in the week wile I'm not working but his mother is point blank refusing. Where do I stand with this ? I think personally it's money as I would've t have to pay her if I have him and this is the reason (could be wrong this as she does love him and does seem to be interested in his best interests which is obviously a matter of opinion). She also says iv not had him over night for 7 months so it's unfair on him and he needs one home even think have many of times got him down to sleep and do so easier than she does. If this went to court and unfortunately I think it will (will try all other options for it not to but she is very stubborn) will I lose based on anything I have said as I believe it's unfair more on our son not being able to have the same time with me as his mother.

Our Response:
The link here , will tell you all you need to know regarding your options.
ChildSupportLaws - 17-Aug-18 @ 10:35 AM
my ex isn't letting me spend time with my 10year old daughter who is also saying she does not want to see me which is likely to be influenced. is my daughter old enough to make that decision or is it a case of as she is under a certain age she has to see her Dad? Also is it illegal for my ex to not let me see or speak to my daughter
dog - 16-Aug-18 @ 10:42 PM
Hello, I'm the father of my nearly to be two year old son and I am on the birth certificate. Me and his month split about 9-10 months ago and I moved out of our house about 7-8 months ago as it was a bad situation me still being there ( we tried to keep it for our son but dident work). Since I have moved out I have had my son every Saturday so his mum can work and seen him or had him I'd say atleast 5 nights a week and alot of Sundays (over half of the Sundays since I've moved out) more if i had it my way. I have moved in with family and only just managed to get in to my own place where I will be able to have my child overnight. And would like to make it so I can have him over night at least friday, Saturday and Sunday night and some evenings in the week wile I'm not working but his mother is point blank refusing. Where do I stand with this ? I think personally it's money as I would've t have to pay her if I have him and this is the reason (could be wrong this as she does love him and does seem to be interested in his best interests which is obviously a matter of opinion). She also says iv not had him over night for 7 months so it's unfair on him and he needs one home even think have many of times got him down to sleep and do so easier than she does. If this went to court and unfortunately I think it will (will try all other options for it not to but she is very stubborn) will I lose based on anything I have said as I believe it's unfair more on our son not being able to have the same time with me as his mother.
Leigh - 16-Aug-18 @ 8:04 PM
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