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What Rights Does My Ex Have With Regards to Our Children?

By: Elizabeth Mugan BA/BSc, PGDipLaw, BVC, CIArb - Updated: 27 Sep 2016 |
 
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We get many comments and questions from you about child support. We've taken a selection of your comments addressing the issue of keeping contact with your children and the fear of your ex taking them from you - and asked our expert to give some comprehensive information and advice.

The traditional view of the family set up has become something of a minority in 21st century society and because of this, a broken down relationship can lead to complicated legal issues. Whether you are recently divorced and wondering about the role your ex-husband has in your child's life, or you have a child from a relationship that has broken down, but were never married, you need to understand your legal position when it comes to creating an amicable situation for your child to grow up in. Here we aim to dispel some of the myths about parental access and to give you the advice you need to rebuild your life and your children's lives.

Parental Responsibility

Parental responsibility (also known as PR) creates "responsibilities" rather than "rights" regardless of whatever the state of the parents' relationship, emphasising the view that each will maintain an equal, shared and continuing responsibility towards the child.

Where both the mother and the father have PR, they have the power to act alone unless there is a circumstance where, by law, each person with PR is to give consent i.e. in the case of adoption. In reality, holding PR gives the ability to make decisions in relation to the child's name, religion, school, consent to medical treatment and marriage etc.

Who has Parental Responsibility?

Below is a flow chart to help you determine if you have Parental Responsibility:

A mother always has PR. A father who is married to the mother at the time of birth will automatically have PR.

To clarify, for unmarried fathers, the situation is different. Unmarried fathers will have PR if:

  • They marry the mother after the child is born
  • They have jointly registered the child's birth with the mother i.e. their name is on the birth certificate
  • For pre December 2003 registrations, the mother provides a formal declaration of agreement that the father's name is to be added to the birth record and the father re-registers the birth to add his details
  • The court orders a residence order in favour of the father, although this will usually terminate when the resident order ends (generally age 16)
  • A birth parent has signed a parental responsibility agreement
  • A step-parent's PR agreement can be made by consent with all those already having PR for the child
  • By obtaining an adoption order from the court

Where a father has not automatically gained PR, the mother does not have to add the father's name to the birth certificate. However, this will not stop the father from being able to apply to the court for an order, such as a parental responsibility order, which may result in him acquiring PR.

Other family members

Other family members, taking grandparents as an example, do not automatically have PR. They would only be granted PR by a court if, for example, they were appointed as Guardian or were to adopt their grandchild for any reason. If a father with PR asks his parents to take care of the child, they can do so usually without the mother's agreement. However, the child would not be able to remain resident with the grandparents unless they had been granted a residency order by the court.

Voluntary access arrangements

If more than one of you has PR, then the best thing you can do for both your children and yourselves is to voluntarily agree to contact and access etc. If you can do this, then you are more likely to maintain a more harmonious relationship for the sake of your children. Additionally, it will prevent you from having to go to court and from having to pay court and solicitor's fees if you are unable to get legal aid.

Of course, this is the ideal scenario and not always a realistic one. If you cannot agree on residence and contact etc. then you may find that your ex will end up applying to the court for an order.

My Child has Been Taken Away From Me: What Can I Do?

Unfortunately in some circumstances, a father may take your child during agreed contact time and then refuse to bring them home again. If this happens and you are unable to negotiate with the father then you should call the police. However, the police may not be able to do anything. This generally comes down to whether or not the father has PR. If they do not, then the child is the mother's sole responsibility and the police may be able to take the child back to the mother. If the father does have PR, then in usual circumstances, they have the same rights as the mother to look after the child and therefore, so long as the child is not in any harm, the police cannot usually do anything about it. This can be understandably distressing for a mother. What can be done about it?

Residence Orders

A person can make an application for a residence order, whether or not they have PR. For example, a father without PR can make an application for and be granted residency but then he will automatically acquire PR at the same time. It is unusual for a father to be granted residency as well as a mother as this would result in shared residency, which is not always in the best interests of the child. As a result, it is usually the mother who would be granted sole residency.

If a child has been taken by their father and the police cannot do anything, the mother can make an application for a residency order. If the child was snatched or she believes that her child may be in danger, then she can apply for an emergency ex parte application. This is also known as a 'without notice application' i.e. the other party is not given notice of the application. If the mother cannot make an ex parte application then an application can still be made but the father can attend and make his case. At the end of the hearing, the judge will make an order.

There are lots of other orders which the court can make, including contact orders, prohibited steps orders and specific issue orders.

What Factors Will be Taken Into Account?

When reviewing applications, the court will take a number of factors into consideration with regards to the child or children's welfare. These are:

  1. What is best for the child and the feelings and wishes of the child. This is considered according to the child's age and understanding
  2. How capable the parents (and any other relevant people) are of meeting the needs of the child or children
  3. Any harm that the child is at risk of suffering or has suffered
  4. The likely effect of a change of circumstances on the child
  5. The age, background, personality, sex and any other characteristics that the Court believes to be relevant
  6. The child's emotional, physical and educational needs

Domestic abuse

If you have been subjected to domestic abuse, this would clearly be a very important factor for the court to consider when determining what will be in the best interests of the child. If the father makes an application to the court then you can oppose it by giving evidence as to why he should not be given the order. You can oppose any application in much the same way.

Reality Check

When you find yourself fighting to look after your own child your emotions can begin to take over. It is important when you begin to plan your child's parenting and the access of the father that you understand the law and how it might impact on your child's future.

Remember that if your child's father is on the birth certificate, or you were married and are now divorced, the father has the same access to the child as you do in the eyes of the law. If they take your child or even threaten to do so, the police can often be powerless to change the situation. The best advice is to seek mediation and organise access in a written agreement, give yourself something concrete to work from. If your ex is unreasonable then apply for a residency order to ensure that you keep custody of your child.

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Share Your Story, Join the Discussion or Seek Advice..
[Add a Comment]
Becky- Your Question:
Hi was married to my ex with 2 children he was sent to prison for fraud and has a new girlfriend he is now out and has moved over 90 miles away but still has the children every other weekend! He wants his girlfriend to have the children on his weekends when he is working am I legally allowed to say no as don't feel this is ok? I don't know the girl and found out they both left them with her parents and her mother has some form of mental health issues? Please advise?

Our Response:
If there is no court order in place then yes, you can refuse this. If there is a court order in place then you would have to apply through the courts for a variation.
ChildSupportLaws - 27-Sep-16 @ 2:59 PM
Sam - Your Question:
Hi Me and my ex have shared care of our 2 boys. The final court order has been made. During the case he showed he was able to drop and collect the boys from school, however now the case is over and his parents are doing the drops and pickups and he has returned to full time work. Where do I stand? As I feel how is this fair when I could be there to drop and pick them everyday pls advise.

Our Response:
If the order is for shared care, then your ex is allowed to make the arrangements he wants with regards to who picks your children up and cares for them in the time he is due to have them. You would have to seek legal advice if you wished to have the order varied because of the change in your ex's circumstances which means he now spends less time with your kids.
ChildSupportLaws - 27-Sep-16 @ 12:57 PM
Hi was married to my ex with 2 children he was sent to prison for fraud and has a new girlfriend he is now out and has moved over 90 miles away but still has the children every other weekend! He wants his girlfriend to have the children on his weekends when he is working am I legally allowed to say no as don't feel this is ok? I don't know the girl and found out they both left them with her parents and her mother has some form of mental health issues? Please advise?
Becky - 27-Sep-16 @ 10:34 AM
Sammi - Your Question:
My ex has fabricated a awful lie about my boyfriend and has told our kids he is a drug dealer, what he witnessed was a set of keys being handed over(not that he believes me) he has said our children are not to be around my new partner or he will call social services. He she's the children who are 9 and 10 on a Tuesday and Thursday evening and Saturday over night, he has stopped all maintenance, he was paying till he lost his job, when he got a new job he brought the boys new beds but still no maintenance until the beds where paid off, so again I asked him for maintenance which he is refusing to pay until I get back from a weekend away, another war in itself. My eldest child is already saying he doesn't want to see him anymore and my youngest is caught in the middle and so broken by the arguments and the grilling he gets from my ex. What do I do toake this stop?

Our Response:
Child maintenance and child access are not connected and need to be dealt with individually. If your ex is earning a wage, then by law he is financially reponsible for your children regardless. If he has stopped paying you child maintenance and you have a family-based arrangement, then you can contact the CMS, please see link here. If you cannot resolve the issues between you and your ex and your children, then mediation is the pre-court option. Mediation takes place in front of a neutral third party. The mediator has no pre-conceptions and will not force you to make an agreement. They will assist the two parties in taking turns in the conversation, and help you reach a decision that you are ready to agree with. Mediators do not pass judgment or offer guidance; they are there, in effect, to facilitate conversation between the two sides. The other option would be court, if you prevent your ex having access to your kids he would have the option to take the matter to court. Likewise, should he wish to try to stop your current partner seeing your kids, then he would have to take the matter to court and prove he was a drug dealer. It's always very difficult to try and resolve these issues when there are various arguments going on at the same time, therefore mediation may be the better option here. You may wish to suggest this to your ex.
ChildSupportLaws - 27-Sep-16 @ 10:15 AM
Hi Me and my ex have shared care of our 2 boys . The final court order has been made. During the case he showed he was able to drop and collect the boys from school, however now the case is over and his parents are doing the drops and pickups and he has returned to full time work . Where do I stand? As I feel how is this fair when I could be there to drop and pick them everyday pls advise .
Sam - 26-Sep-16 @ 5:39 PM
Kate - Your Question:
Hi, my sons father see my son every other weekend for overnight, and every Wednesday after nursery. Now he said he wants to share holidays too. Do I need to share holiday with him? My son still at nursery go to school next year yet. Thank you

Our Response:
It really is up for discussion, you don't have to do anything you do not wish to do. However, please be aware your ex could apply through court. Mediation may be an option for you to consider if you are willing to negotiate.
ChildSupportLaws - 26-Sep-16 @ 12:01 PM
nice - Your Question:
My child's mother got a restraining order on me and it includes my son how do I get that lifted so I can visit my child

Our Response:
You would have to seek legal advice regarding this.
ChildSupportLaws - 26-Sep-16 @ 11:59 AM
Lala - Your Question:
Hi I'm confused My ex is on the birth certificate and see his son every other weekend. But things are starting to get awkward now. I'm looking at moving away still in the uk but away from where we are now. Do I need to have my ex's permission and where do I stand with my rights and does he have any rights In it all

Our Response:
Yes, if your ex is on the birth certificate it means he has parental responsibility and by law you would have to request his consent to move out of the area. You can see what PR means and what rights your ex has via the link here . Some primary carers may just make a decision to move without the other parent's consent, but you could face a backlash via the courts if your ex decided to pursue the matter. If your ex refuses, then you can apply to court for a Specific Issue Order and if you can prove it is in your child's best interests to move, the likelihood is that you would be granted the order, which may come with access conditions.
ChildSupportLaws - 26-Sep-16 @ 11:30 AM
My ex has fabricated a awful lie about my boyfriend and has told our kids he is a drug dealer, what he witnessed was a set of keys being handed over(not that he believes me) he has said our children are not to be around my new partner or he will call social services. He she's the children who are 9 and 10 on a Tuesday and Thursday evening and Saturday over night, he has stopped all maintenance, he was paying till he lost his job, when he got a new job he brought the boys new beds but still no maintenance until the beds where paid off, so again I asked him for maintenance which he is refusing to pay until I get back from a weekend away, another war in itself. My eldest child is already saying he doesn't want to see him anymore and my youngest is caught in the middle and so broken by the arguments and the grilling he gets from my ex. What do I do toake this stop?
Sammi - 26-Sep-16 @ 7:11 AM
Hi, my sons father see my son every other weekend for overnight, and every Wednesday after nursery. Now he said he wants to share holidays too. Do I need to share holiday with him? My son still at nursery go to school next year yet . Thank you
Kate - 25-Sep-16 @ 4:08 PM
My child's mother got a restraining order on me and it includes my son how do I get that lifted so I can visit my child
nice - 25-Sep-16 @ 4:03 PM
Hi I'm confused My ex is on the birth certificate and see his son every other weekend. But things are starting to get awkward now. I'm looking at moving away still in the uk but away from where we are now. Do I need to have my ex's permission and where do I stand with my rights and does he have any rights In it all
Lala - 25-Sep-16 @ 3:22 PM
Mum - Your Question:
Never married have 2 children born 96 and 05. I have the 05 born with me and she has always maintained a good relationship with her father, and she normally goes there every other weekend. Problem I have found out that my 96 born whom I have no contact with and have been disowned by and am not down as her next of King, has been in trouble with the law, for in the past stealing, and resenting being found guilty of attempting to mug and got 18 months community order - but I am not aware of any conditions, she had a drug problem not sure is this is on going. I had asked her father to find out all and the had meet recently and the subject was not brought up. I am unwilling to allow my 05 born be around or with them until I know the facts so am I with in rights to keep her with me on her weekends she would normally be with her father

Our Response:
Much depends whether there is a court order in place for your youngest to see her father. If there is, then you would have to adhere to the order and apply back to court for a variation if you think there may be a threat to the welfare of your youngest. If there is no court order in place, then you can pretty much do as you feel. However, the father would have the option to take the matter to court. Ideally, the matter should be sorted out between you, or at least via mediation. I'm sure the father also has your youngest's interests at heart and as an equally responsible parent would not put her welfare at risk. But if you are concerned, then talking to him directly about this should help put the matter into more perspective.
ChildSupportLaws - 23-Sep-16 @ 11:15 AM
Never married have 2 children born 96 and 05. I have the 05 born with me and she has always maintained a good relationship with her father, and she normally goes there every other weekend. Problem I have found out that my 96 born whom I have no contact with and have been disowned by and am not down as her next of King, has been in trouble with the law, for in the past stealing, and resenting being found guilty of attempting to mug and got 18 months community order - but I am not aware of any conditions, she had a drug problem not sure is this is on going. I had asked her father to find out all and the had meet recently and the subject was not brought up. I am unwilling to allow my 05 born be around or with them until I know the facts so am I with in rights to keep her with me on her weekends she would normally be with her father
Mum - 22-Sep-16 @ 10:57 AM
Jenny - Your Question:
My daughters dad is not on her birth certificate, He's always been emotionally and mentally abusive towards me and becomes very verbally aggressive if he doesn't get his own way and plays the victim constantly. He doesn't pay support and an agreement was made that he'd provide for her for the time he has her which is on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays (not overnight) but I've found out its his girlfriend providing for her and now they've split up after me finding out he hasn't been taking care of her nutrional needs, has lied about where he takes her and who he's with. He refused to see her today because he 'doesnt feel in a good place mentally' at the moment so I've decided to cut contact until he's sorted it but became verbally aggressive again. Our daughter comes back and calls herself a bad child when that sort of phrase has never left my mouth, can I move without telling him because I'm now worried about my child?

Our Response:
If your ex is not registered on the birth certificate or has parental responsibility then you do not have to consult him if you wish to move.
ChildSupportLaws - 21-Sep-16 @ 12:19 PM
Rach- Your Question:
I was wandering if I couldnt get any advice, I didnt allow my childs father to see his his daughter after she was born, after a year I arranged for him to see her again and everything was going ok, he has her on the weekends and a day in the week hes not on the birth certificate however he has been threating to take her away from me as he doesnt like when I take her around to my family memebers. What are his options if he wanted to this? And what do I do to prevent it. I dont want to stop him seeing his child.

Our Response:
If your ex is not registered on the birth certificate and does not have parental responsibility, then he has no legal rights to your child and the police could intervene and return your child to you, if he tried to take her. Your ex has no business to dictate to you who you should and should not let see your child, I thinks it's more of a case of standing up for yourself and telling him it is not his decision to make. Or, a solicitor's letter outlining the fact he has no legal rights to your child might do the trick. In which case you would need to seek some legal advice.
ChildSupportLaws - 21-Sep-16 @ 12:00 PM
My X husband is on my child birth certificate but he has tryed not to see our child doesn't want to have any contact and doesn't pay any child support. I am planning on taking child to the USA to where be lives, to see her grandparent I am just wondering what rights he has and can I stop him from seeing her
Jill - 20-Sep-16 @ 6:53 PM
Lo - Your Question:
Hello, me and recently moved 3 hours from my ex to begin a midwifery degree. My little boy was going to remain where I used to live with my dad for 6 weeks as I couldn't sort the funding and place for my sons nursery in time as I was a reserve. I was going to see him every other weekend and his dad was going to see him every other weekend. I've never prevented access and specifically learned to drive so I can take my son back to see his dad. I'd spoken to my ex about him having our son for the 6 weeks but he said it wasn't possible unless I commuted to a year, which I wasn't willing to do. He's consistently spoken about wanting my son to live there and threatened with court. He's now turned around to my dad and said my son will be staying with him for the 6 weeks and hasn't given him back. He's saying he just wants to look after him rather than his grandad but won't answer and questions directly about me having him back after the 6 weeks, keeps avoiding the question and talking about doing what's best for our son. I feel like he's going to turn around and say I can't have him back and don't really know what I can do about it. Would he be able to do that? I can't afford to have him up with me until half term so I don't know what to do :s

Our Response:
This is a tricky situation which is every parent's nightmare. If your ex refuses to hand your son back to you, how much the police can help is very dependent upon your personal situation. If both of you as parents have Parental Responsibility and one parent is keeping the child against the other's wishes, the police CANNOT help, even if the child does not normally live with them. However, if the parent does not have Parental Responsibility, the police will be able to intervene. If your ex has PR and refuses to hand your son back, then you would have to take the matter to court. The court would then decide what it thinks is in your child's best interests regarding who your child should live with. However, please be aware the longer your child is with his father, the less likely it will be that the courts will move to hand him back, especially if he is re-established in a new 'life' nursery etc. I therefore suggest you take some legal advice in order to explore your options.
ChildSupportLaws - 20-Sep-16 @ 2:10 PM
My daughters dad is not on her birth certificate, He's always been emotionally and mentally abusive towards me and becomes very verbally aggressive if he doesn't get his own way and plays the victim constantly. He doesn't pay support and an agreement was made that he'd provide for her for the time he has her which is on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays (not overnight) but I've found out its his girlfriend providing for her and now they've split up after me finding out he hasn't been taking care of her nutrional needs, has lied about where he takes her and who he's with. He refused to see her today because he 'doesnt feel in a good place mentally' at the moment so I've decided to cut contact until he's sorted it but became verbally aggressive again. Our daughter comes back and calls herself a bad child when that sort of phrase has never left my mouth, can I move without telling him because I'm now worried about my child?
Jenny - 20-Sep-16 @ 2:05 PM
My ex partner is on the birth certificate, he sees our child one day in the week and on the weekend. I prevented him from seeing her after she was born and then after a year got in touch with him about our child. Recently he refused to bring her home on the day we agreed, so i stopped access again. I know he resents me for what has happened. Things have been going fine after that incident but hes told me hes planning on taking her away from whenever he can, im worried that he might, what are his options for doing this and what can i do to prevent it from happening?
Rach - 20-Sep-16 @ 1:02 PM
I was wandering if i couldnt get any advice, i didnt allow my childs father to see his his daughter after she was born, after a year i arranged for him to see her again and everything was going ok, he has her on the weekends and a day in the week hes not on the birth certificate however he has been threating to take her away from me as he doesnt like when i take her around to my family memebers. What are his options if he wanted to this? And what do i do to prevent it. I dont want to stop him seeing his child.
Rach - 20-Sep-16 @ 12:58 PM
Hello, me and recently moved 3 hours from my ex to begin a midwifery degree. My little boy was going to remain where I used to live with my dad for 6 weeks as I couldn't sort the funding and place for my sons nursery in time as I was a reserve. I was going to see him every other weekend and his dad was going to see him every other weekend. I've never prevented access and specifically learned to drive so I can take my son back to see his dad. I'd spoken to my ex about him having our son for the 6 weeks but he said it wasn't possible unless I commuted to a year, which I wasn't willing to do. He's consistently spoken about wanting my son to live there and threatened with court. He's now turned around to my dad and said my son will be staying with him for the 6 weeks and hasn't given him back. He's saying he just wants to look after him rather than his grandad but won't answer and questions directly about me having him back after the 6 weeks, keeps avoiding the question and talking about doing what's best for our son. I feel like he's going to turn around and say i can't have him back and don't really know what I can do about it. Would he be able to do that? I can't afford to have him up with me until half term so I don't know what to do :s
Lo - 19-Sep-16 @ 5:59 PM
Amb - Your Question:
My partner and I have a new born daughter and a 3 year old daughter from me and he has been taking care of my daughter since she was only 8 months old and she sees him as her father. We had an argument and he didn't want to sit down talk when I asked him to while he was drinking at the pub with his mates and said if you want me to come out you better drag me out of here to talk so I did try to drag him by pulling his shirt and he ended up charging me with assault over that and the problem escalated and now he is threatening me to take both my daughters away from me while leaving in my country (PNG). He is Australian and both girls have dual citizenship. At the moment I am jobless and been at home looking after the girls and living at his home and he provides for the family. I do not have a place to go to unless I have some sort of income in order to pay my rent. He is on our daughter's birth certificate but we are not married. I am a good parent and I have no history of abusing my children or left them negelected. What do I do in my situation? I do not want him take my daughter away from me and I am a capable mum and once I find a job I will be able to move out and take care of them. I am thinking about getting a restraing order to stay away from my daughters and take off the parental responsibility after his threats to take my daughter.

Our Response:
If your partner threatens to leave the country with your children, I suggest seeking legal advice.Any situation in which a parents leaves the UK with a child and without official consent can be classed as abduction. If you are fearful this may happen, you can apply through the courts for a Prohibited Steps Order. A PSO is an order granted by the court in family cases which prevents either parent from carrying out certain events or making specific trips with their children without the express permission of the other parent. This is more common in cases where there is suspicion that one parent may leave the area with their children. We have all heard the stories of a parent taking their child for the weekend and not returning them or going abroad with them and it becoming extremely difficult for the other parent to get their child back. Thankfully, this is one of the scenarios that a PSO seeks to prevent. If you are the primary carer of your children, then it is highly unlikely the court would hand them over to your partner (and this would never happen with a non-biological child). With regards to your 'home', it is difficult to advise on as you do not say whether the property is rented or purchased, please see CAB link here. I hope this helps.
ChildSupportLaws - 19-Sep-16 @ 1:49 PM
My partner and i have a new born daughter and a 3 year old daughter from me and he has been taking care of my daughter since she was only 8 months old and she sees him as her father. We had an argument and he didn't want to sit down talk when I asked him to while he was drinking at the pub with his mates and said if you want me to come out you better drag me out of here to talk so I did try to drag him by pulling his shirt and he ended up charging me with assault over that and the problem escalated and now he is threatening me to take both my daughters away from me while leaving in my country (PNG). He is Australian and both girls have dual citizenship. At the moment I am jobless and been at home looking after the girls and living at his home and he provides for the family. I do not have a place to go to unless I have some sort of income in order to pay my rent. He is on our daughter's birth certificate but we are not married. I am a good parent and I have no history of abusing my children or left them negelected. What do I do in my situation? I do not want him take my daughter away from me and I am a capable mum and once I find a job I will be able to move out and take care of them. I am thinking about getting a restraing order to stay away from my daughters and take off the parental responsibility after his threats to take my daughter.
Amb - 18-Sep-16 @ 5:41 PM
Jenny_E - Your Question:
My ex boyfriend and I have an almost 2 year old together, and bought a house 15 months ago. We agreed I would stay home with my son until he would go into nursery at 2, and so he couldn't get a mortgage with me at the time, so the mortgage is only in his name. I paid half the deposit, and since then the mortgage payments have come out of his account. He left 6 weeks ago as he was treating me badly, but agreed to pay the mortgage on the house as maintenance. He was messaging me every day arguing, so yesterday I didn't respond as I can't take much more which obviously annoyed him, so today he has told me he's selling the house, and taking my son. Can he threaten to do this?

Our Response:
It is unlikely he will be able to sell the house without your consent, even though you are not on the mortgage. You would have the option to take the matter to court and let the court decide. As you and your ex have a child together, the court will decide on what it thinks is in the best interests of your son, which is usually stability and consistency and the least amount of disruption, meaning the court 'may' decide to let you stay in the house. However, if your ex is threatening to take your son, then if he has parental responsibility the police cannot intervene. Therefore, it's advisable to seek legal advice regarding this in order to explore your options.
ChildSupportLaws - 16-Sep-16 @ 11:17 AM
Hi my partner has a daughter from a previous relationship, his name is on the birthcertificate when we have his daughter his ex demands times that she has to be home and what days we can see her. What happens if we wasn't to return her ? What would happenwith school could her mother go to the school and collect her without us knowing?
Beckyp - 16-Sep-16 @ 10:21 AM
My ex boyfriend and I have an almost 2 year old together, and bought a house 15 months ago. We agreed I would stay home with my son until he would go into nursery at 2, and so he couldn't get a mortgage with me at the time, so the mortgage is only in his name. I paid half the deposit, and since then the mortgage payments have come out of his account. He left 6 weeks ago as he was treating me badly, but agreed to pay the mortgage on the house as maintenance. He was messaging me every day arguing, so yesterday I didn't respond as I can't take much more which obviously annoyed him, so today he has told me he's selling the house, and taking my son. Can he threaten to do this?
Jenny_E - 15-Sep-16 @ 3:03 PM
MattBrady - Your Question:
Whenever my child was born I tried taking my child off his mum as I didn't want to be in his mums company. She was being awkward & kept saying no & to go over to her house to see my son. I then gave up & went to Austrlia to be with my current girlfriend. I am now back & want to see my child & not be in the mums company. Can I take my child off her? I'm not on the birth certificate. I have also requested a DNA, will this allow me to take my child of her?

Our Response:
If you are not registered on the birth certificate and try to remove your child from the mother without her consent, then you could be charged with kidnap. I'm not quite sure what you are asking here, but if you wish to see your child and the mother refuses access then you would have to apply through the courts. If you are not registered on the birth certificate, you currently have no parental rights, so this too could be assessed in court.
ChildSupportLaws - 15-Sep-16 @ 2:03 PM
Coco - Your Question:
Me and my partner are on the verge of splitting up and he says that he won't let me take our son and he will even give up work so that I can't have our son the majority of the time. I would never stop my partner from seeing our son but feel that it makes sense for our son to be with me the majority of the time as I work part time and my parnter has to leave for work at 4.30am. What would I need to do so that it can be sorted reasonably and maturely

Our Response:
There is no real answer here if both of you have parental responsibility, as it means both of you have equal parental rights. The best way to organise this is through mutual negotiation. If you cannot agree this, then mediation is the next step. Mediation is when two or more parties meet to resolve problems before the matter reaches court. It is most often used in family proceedings. It is a formal negotiation and courts can accept the agreement of the mediation instead of having to go through the court process, although it is subject to final court approval. Mediation takes place in front of a neutral third party. The mediator has no pre-conceptions and will not force you to make an agreement. They will assist the two parties in taking turns in the conversation, and helping you reach a decision that you are ready to agree with. Mediators do not pass judgment or offer guidance; they are there, in effect, to facilitate conversation between the two sides. However, if your partner refuses the mediation process, and/or you cannot come to a resolution, then applying for a child arrangement order through court would be your next option, please see link here. In this case a court would determine who your son should live with based on what the court thinks is in your child's best interests. You may wish to seek legal advice.
ChildSupportLaws - 15-Sep-16 @ 9:57 AM
Whenever my child was born I tried taking my child off his mum as I didn't want to be in his mums company.She was being awkward & kept saying no & to go over to her house to see my son. I then gave up & went to Austrlia to be with my current girlfriend. I am now back & want to see my child & not be in the mums company. Can I take my child off her? I'm not on the birth certificate. I have also requested a DNA, will this allow me to take my child of her?
MattBrady - 14-Sep-16 @ 10:43 PM
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