When the bombshell hits you – that you and your partner are separating – you might feel a whole tangle of emotions: upset, anger, hurt, bitterness and bewilderment to name but a few. It’s hardly surprising, then, that people who find themselves in this situation often spare little thought for their legal rights. Within a very short time, however, you may be involved in several legal battles so it is important that you know where you stand from the outset.
Fathers And Parental Responsibility
As you probably know, all parents have a legal responsibility to support their children, regardless of whether they live with them or not. If as a father you were married to the mother of your child or children when they were born, you will automatically have parental responsibility. It can get complicated if a father is not married to the mother. If your name is on the child’s birth certificate, you will have parental responsibility. If it is not, then you will need the mother’s consent to have your name added to the birth certificate. You can only do this if there is no other father already named on the birth certificate. In the last instance you may apply to court to get an order stating that you have parental responsibility – whether the mother consents to this or not.
Decisions About Your Child
Living apart from your children does not negate the fact that you have parental responsibility for your child. You are still able to have a say as to how your child is brought up, although the day-to-day decisions are made by the parent who lives with your child. You may wish to discuss major events in your child’s life with your partner, such as religion or culture, where they go to school, who needs to be consulted about health and medical treatments, where your child will spend their holidays and what would happen to your child if one of you became to ill too look after them.
Child Maintenance
There are in effect three ways to make financial provision for your child’s upbringing. These are:
- making a private agreement (although this is not legally binding)
- going through the CSA
- using the courts to make an order as to maintenance payments
Each of these options is dealt with in detail elsewhere on this website.

Answer a few questions about your situation and get a clear summary of your child maintenance rights and options.
Try our Child Support Rights Checker free, here on this site →Your Will
If you do not have a will, now is the time to make one. If you don’t, then all of your assets, money and other possessions will be dealt with by way of the laws of intestacy in the event of your death. In practical terms, your assets may be distributed otherwise than in accordance with your wishes. If you do have a will, you may want to revise it now that you and your partner are splitting up. It is also important to consider appointing a guardian for your child in your will, in the event of your death. If you are the person with parental responsibility, this may be of particular significance to you.
Your situation may be slightly different. ask a question below ↓ and our editorial team will reply with our advice.
Divorce
If you and your partner are married, you may be considering getting a divorce. It is always wise to consult a divorce lawyer if there are assets in the marriage that are likely to be the subject of dispute. There are several legal reasons for divorce. These are:
- Adultery
- Unreasonable behaviour
- Desertion for two years or more
- Separation for two years or more (for which you need your partner’s consent to divorce)
- Separation for five years or more, in which case you do not need your partner’s consent.
Your Home
If you own your home it is likely to be your biggest asset. Home ownership is often a hotly-contested issue amongst separating parents. Often, people think that they have to sell their home but this is not always the case. There are several options to consider:
- changing the share that each of you hold in the home
- delaying the sale until a future date
- deciding how much of the money each of you will receive on the sale
- deciding who will pay the mortgage
Things can get complicated if the property is in only one person’s name, but both parents have contributed to the upkeep of the property, or the mortgage or other household commitments like childcare. If this is you, you must speak to a solicitor before you move out as things can get very complicated legally if you don’t.
Other Possessions
If you and your ex-partner lived together but weren’t married, the court generally applies principles to your possessions. If you paid for something, you own it, unless it was given to your ex-partner as a gift. If you bought something as a couple and paid equal shares, you own the item equally. If you bought something out of both of your money, but it is not possible to say who paid what, you both own the item equally.
You may be entitled to legal aid to help you with the costs of your separation, divorce or other family proceedings. People on income support, Job Seeker’s Allowance, Employment and Support Allowance or Guaranteed Pension Credit are automatically entitled to legal aid. You may also be eligible if you have savings or assets that are worth less than £8000, and your pre-tax earnings each month are less than £2,657. For more advice, contact a solicitor.
By legal representation do you mean people have to pay solicitors to sort out arrangements and payment that the CSA have failed to do?
Are caseworkers provided by the CSA or are you meaning again a solicitor?
I paid rent, buy food stuff and other needs for the house.
I made to complaint to CMS. They have not responded to my complaint.
I feel i have not been treated fairly in this case. This is affecting my performance at work and have decided to stop work. I have had couple of accidents recently due this problem.
What should I do?
I have tried to leave on several occasions where I have walked away with nothing due to his threats and emotional and physical abuse - but have returned due to being unable to cope alone financially and again his emotional blackmail
My youngest child is now 15 and I NEED to leave - it’s an unhealthy environment for my children and now grandchildren but have been told several times that I am entitled to nothing
I work 25-30 hours a week - I have my name on a couple of the household bills and I am the main beneficiary of his will . I have supported him while he has built his business and always been the main child care provider
We live in a million pound property he has rental properties and drives a 100k car plus runs a property development business
Does the law say he has to provide myself and my daughter with a home while she is still in full time education ?
Do I have any rights at all ?
Because I work he leaves the fridge empty and leaves me to pay for more and more for my daughter because then he knows I am unable
To save anything and will remain dependant on him
Please help
If my daughter is mine and the unborn baby is mine where do I stand in terms of seeing them and also preventing them moving so far away?
If neither are my child what options do i have?
Social services stored him from seeing my child
Could you tell me if he still has any parental rights to my child as she does not know who she is thank you
The 1st few months of the separation the boys were crushed and seldomly what to spend time with there mother. I work full time but managed with understanding grandparents and employer to get by.
Now when my ex wife and I were together a lot of debt was accrued so I've had that to deal with as well but this has impacted our way of living drastically so I've taken the decision to sell the family home.
After a few months after the separation Nd a lot of discussion with my children especially the oldest the boys started to stay with there mother again and we agreed 50/50 dual responsibility. One week id have them Friday to Monday then Friday to Tuesday and the boys settled onto this routine.
Then my ex occasionally started dropping the boys off on a Thursday until recently it was never a problem because of have my boys every minute of every day if I could but recently I'd made plans on a Thursday not expecting the boys that night then my ex rang saying the boys wanted to stay to which I refused.
All hell broke loose and unknown to myself my ex contacted the CSA and basically lied about the care plan we have in place.
There demanding I pay 1/5 of my annual salary to which my property will be repossed of I don't sell up in time but what's more infuriating is I'm still having custody of my children more than there mother.
I've always had an extremely strong bond with my boys and they've been through tough times this past year but after contacting child maintenance I'm feeling very deflated and concerned with the lack of rights a loving father has as the maintenance team have more or less taken the word of my boys mother.
Ask Child Support Laws a question
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