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Your Legal Rights as a Parent

By: Anna Martin - Updated: 3 Jul 2018 | comments*Discuss
 
Parent Child Parent With Care Non

Losing full-time contact with a child is a difficult and painful outcome of any separation or divorce. The parent who retains day-to-day care of the child may not experience as much separation anxiety as the non resident parent, but they will however become more financially minded.

Maintenance payments from the non resident parent will help ease the financial pressure of raising a child, but unless parents agree to shared care or regular access and visits there may be other problems to overcome too.

Parenting Plan

A custody court order will include a parenting plan or visitation schedule which parents must adhere to. This plan is more likely to affect, and/or restrict, the non resident parent, particularly if the parents are not able to communicate effectively. Understanding and accepting that there will be imposed changes that will affect a non resident parent’s relationship with their child in some way, may enable the parent to consider expressing views openly prior to the custody order being finalised.

Many parents are able to make private arrangements that put the child’s rights and needs first. Joint custody or shared care will enable both parents to have regular contact with their child, and to contribute equally to the emotional, physical and financial aspects of child raising.

Making Modifications

A non resident parent may have a court order but may still experience problems enforcing it. Being flexible about re-arranging a visit keeps communication open. However, the parent with care must acknowledge the non resident parent’s rights.

If problems persist, threatening to withhold child support is not a good idea. If a parent has to go to court to enforce visitation any threats to stop child support payments will be held against them. Modifying maintenance is only acceptable if the parent with care has an increase in income whilst the non resident parent’s income has decreased, or a parent’s expenses have increased considerably through illness etc.

Parent And Child Rights

On the whole, the law allows parents to bring up their children in accordance with their own beliefs and values. This gives parents the right to make decisions about the child’s upbringing, provided the child’s well-being is never put at risk. Parents must accept that wanting their own way however, is not the same thing as exercising a right. Although parents have the right to set limits they do not have the right to enforce views.

A parent has the right to determine their child’s name, religion, form of education and healthcare. They also have the right to accompany the child outside the UK and agree on emigration issues. Parents who have a joint custody agreement share rights and parental responsibilities. If the child’s parents are divorced, however, the mother generally has charge of parental responsibility, although the father’s opinions can be expressed and documented.

A child’s rights state that a parent must ensure their child is safe from harm, has somewhere to live, has food, clothing, medical care and education and is financially supported.

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After advise my two kids live with me the father have done for three years.they see there mum twice a week and stop over on her days off.we have a court day so we can have it in writing it will be two nights a week but in September three nights when she has arrived going to reduce hours.my solicitor has drawn up an agreement for court too which she has agreed before court.now saying wants three this week here and there and as there is no court order yet she can.what do I do as no structure
Dave - 3-Jul-18 @ 1:37 PM
Georgie - Your Question:
Hi I am after some advise I have two children with my ex age 7 and 12, I have never stopped contact and never made things hard for him but two years on and the changing of contact is getting ridiculous and more frequent it is not good for my children as he makes out it’s all my fault (I have everything in writing so can prove it’s him that’s changed these arrangements) over the last two years he has gone from have them 3/4 time a week to having them from 5.30 on a Thursday eve to 5.30 on a Friday morning the arrangement was he’d pick them up from my house or my parents if I was working (I work most Thursday evenings as it’s good to work while kids are not there) he’s been picking them up from my parents house for the past 8 weeks if not longer and tonight decides he can’t do this (he drives and we all live In The same town so has no valid reason why he can’t just he can’t) I have said I’m not going to be dictated to anymore the arrangement is in place and that’s how it’s staying so he’s not seeing his kids this week where do I stand? Am I ok to be firm at this point and the arrangement stays the same? The contact has been changed approx 8/10 times over the last two years and it’s jist ridiculous there’s no need for it for the children’s sake more than anything thanks in advance

Our Response:
In a situation such as this, if you cannot agree then mediation is the next option to consider in order to come to a regular and consistent agreement.
ChildSupportLaws - 22-Jun-18 @ 11:34 AM
Hi I am after some advise I have two children with my ex age 7 and 12, I have never stopped contact and never made things hard for him but two years on and the changing of contact is getting ridiculous and more frequent it is not good for my children as he makes out it’s all my fault (I have everything in writing so can prove it’s him that’s changed these arrangements) over the last two years he has gone from have them 3/4 time a week to having them from 5.30 on a Thursday eve to 5.30 on a Friday morning the arrangement was he’d pick them up from my house or my parents if I was working (I work most Thursday evenings as it’s good to work while kids are not there) he’s been picking them up from my parents house for the past 8 weeks if not longer and tonight decides he can’t do this (he drives and we all live In The same town so has no valid reason why he can’t just he can’t) I have said I’m not going to be dictated to anymore the arrangement is in place and that’s how it’s staying so he’s not seeing his kids this week where do I stand? Am I ok to be firm at this point and the arrangement stays the same? The contact has been changed approx 8/10 times over the last two years and it’s jist ridiculous there’s no need for it for the children’s sake more than anything thanks in advance
Georgie - 21-Jun-18 @ 6:15 PM
Hello, I have my son stay over for two nights a week once during the week and once during the weekend. I would love to have him more but due to having other children at home and work commitments I am unable to do so. My ex wants me to help her during the holidays or to pay for her childcare so that she can work. I have looked at the csa calculater and I'm already paying her more than I should be. She's basically saying that she needs more help and that if I don't give it to her she's going to take me to court and I'll be forced to have my child more in the holidays and pay more money. Can she do this? I work full time and have 2 other children if I could help more I would. I was only having him once a week and I've already helped by increasing my time to include a week day as well.
Philip - 9-Jun-18 @ 6:15 AM
Hello, I have a child with my ex partner who is trying to exercise his wishes as rights. My daughter is 6months and I’m still trying to get her into routine. My ex partner is demanding that she stay with him a few days and I don’t think this is right at this point as disrupting her routine has a very bad impact on her. I’m trying to get him to spend time to learn her routine but he feels that parental responsibility gives him the right to have her. I have never stopped him from seeing her but he likes to come late at night when it disrupts her routine. Is he allowed to do this ? As she stays with me, I can tell him it’s not right ?
Revans - 8-Jun-18 @ 12:57 PM
Scared father- Your Question:
Hi can anyone help I’m a single father of a five-year-old daughter in 2015 I obtained prohibited steps order against my wife from removing my daughter from my care in 2016 I obtained a child arrangements order that my daughter remain living with me and the order states that the mother can have contact once a month for five hours unsupervised and one video phone call every Saturday however since the order was made the mother has missed 2/3 of direct contact and 1/2 all video calls then in January 2017 the mother informed me that she was pregnant and would not be intending to make contact until sometime in 2018 Until after her pregnancy she has now contacted me stating that she wants to re-establish contact with her daughter and that she wants her daughter to live with her on a permanent basis me and my daughter live in London and my wife lives in Manchester she has had no contact for over year with her daughter and barely any in the last three years since our separation she did not attend court or social services hearings and did not engage with Cafcass however I am scared because my wife’s New partner has as a larger property and finances and they are claiming because they Are a family unit they can provide my daughter with a better future I am a British citizen so is my daughter my wife is not I have a large family support network and will establish and my wife has no family in the country they are threatening to take court action against me can anyone please give me some advice I have represented myself in the previous hearings and cannot afford a lawyer but I’m desperate for help

Our Response:
A court will not take a child away from one parent and hand the child to another for no good reason. The acquisition of finance or property doesn't determine a good reason. You have a residency order through the court, so it is highly unlikely a court would change this and hand your daughter to a parent she barely knows. Consistency and stability are what the courts view as more important and it has been you as the resident parent who has offered this. You may wish to join our Separated Dads forum if you would like further advice if you are self-litigating, as many of the advisers have been through the court process before and can give good advice. I hope this helps.
ChildSupportLaws - 11-May-18 @ 3:42 PM
Hi cananyone help I’m a single father of a five-year-old daughter in 2015 I obtainedprohibitedsteps order against my wife from removing my daughter from my care in 2016 I obtained a child arrangements order that my daughter remain living with me and the order states that the mother can have contact once a month for five hours unsupervised and one video phone call every Saturdayhowever since the order was made the mother has missed 2/3of direct contact and 1/2all video callsthen in January 2017 the mother informed me that she was pregnant and would not be intending to make contact until sometime in 2018 Until after her pregnancyshe has now contacted me stating that she wants to re-establish contact with her daughter and that she wants her daughter to live with her on a permanent basis me and my daughter live in London andmy wife lives in Manchester she has had no contact for over year with her daughter and barely any in the last three years since our separation she did not attend court or social services hearings and did not engage with Cafcasshowever I am scared because my wife’s New partner hasas a larger property and finances and they are claiming because they Are a family unit they can provide my daughter with a better future i am a British citizen so is my daughter my wife is notI have a large family support network and will establish and my wife has no family in the country they arethreatening to take court action against mecan anyone please give me some advice I have represented myself in the previous hearings and cannot afford a lawyer but I’m desperate for help
Scared father - 10-May-18 @ 8:59 PM
Hi, I split from an unhealthy mentally abusive partner 3 years ago. He is a functioning alcoholic and I believe he has underlying mental issues aswell. We have an epileptic litllle one who also is on the autism spectrum with developmental delay. My ex has had nothing to do with my little one although I’ve tried to enforce contact. For 3 years he has continued the mental abuse a regularly stalks me. I’ve begged for help with my son begged for him to attend appointments but he refuses unless I sleep with him. I’ve now resorted to mediation as I’ve offered contact every Sunday afternoon but he wants contact fortnightly or as and when he wants. This is no good for my son.. recently I’ve blocked him contacting me so he has decided to start contacting my sons school and other agencies my son attends this is un Nervi gets me as he has never had any interest and seems to be doing it to get to me .. can I have this stopped as he refuses any contact and has not seen my son for over a year although contact has always been offered..
Vix - 2-May-18 @ 10:07 AM
Hi, I split from an unhealthy mentally abusive partner 3 years ago. He is a functioning alcoholic and I believe he has underlying mental issues aswell. We have an epileptic litllle one who also is on the autism spectrum with developmental delay. My ex has had nothing to do with my little one although I’ve tried to enforce contact. For 3 years he has continued the mental abuse a regularly stalks me. I’ve begged for help with my son begged for him to attend appointments but he refuses unless I sleep with him. I’ve now resorted to mediation as I’ve offered contact every Sunday afternoon but he wants contact fortnightly or as and when he wants. This is no good for my son.. recently I’ve blocked him contacting me so he has decided to start contacting my sons school and other agencies my son attends this is un Nervi gets me as he has never had any interest and seems to be doing it to get to me .. can I have this stopped as he refuses any contact and has not seen my son for over a year although contact has always been offered..
Vix - 2-May-18 @ 9:37 AM
Sophie- Your Question:
Hi, I've recently left an abusive relationship. My baby is 8 weeks old. When I fell pregnant my partner promised me he would change. The abuse entailed physical emotional verbal and in the end finicial. My ex is a functioning alcaholic and would regularly get drunk and verbally abuse me get aggressive and scare me. When we brought baby home he began to be aggressive towards me when I was holding the baby. He swore at baby held him rougly I was afraid to leave him alone with his dad.I contacted social services out of desperation to get my partner to change he has very little insight into his problem. Now that I have ended the relationship I need to keep my baby safe but I don't want to restrict access entirely I don't want to be accused of witholding access thru spite, which I'm not. Children's services have said on their report I need to consider contact to keep baby safe. He saw him for 2 hours at my mums house. But will ask for more please help I'm scared that he will take my baby to get back at me. What can I go to court and do?

Our Response:
The gov.uk link here, should tell you all you need to know about applying for a child arrangement order. If Children's Services have said you need to keep your child safe, then the courts will allow you to apply directly without having to attend mediation. If domestic violence has been an issue, you may be able to apply for Legal Aid, please see link here. It would be advisable to keep contact supervised until the court has made the order. Your ex cannot force you to do otherwise.
ChildSupportLaws - 20-Apr-18 @ 11:22 AM
Hi, I've recently left an abusive relationship. My baby is 8 weeks old. When I fell pregnant my partner promised me he would change. The abuse entailed physical emotional verbal and in the end finicial. My ex is a functioning alcaholic and would regularly get drunk and verbally abuse me get aggressive and scare me. When we brought baby home he began to be aggressive towards me when I was holding the baby . He swore at baby held him rougly i was afraid to leave him alone with his dad.I contacted social services out of desperation to get my partner to change he has very little insight into his problem. Now that I have ended the relationship I need to keep my baby safe but I don't want to restrict access entirely I don't want to be accused of witholding access thru spite, which I'm not. Children's services have said on their report I need to consider contact to keep baby safe. He saw him for 2 hours at my mums house. But will ask for more please help I'm scared that he will take my baby to get back at me. What can I go to court and do?
Sophie - 10-Apr-18 @ 3:20 PM
Henry - Your Question:
Hi. split from my ex wife 6 years ago. My 2 daughter's aged 14 and 10 live with her. I'm in their lives properly. I speak twice a week to them and they sleep over at mine each weekend. I live with my partner a joint child and her son.My 2 daughter's living with their mum are coming smelly each week. I believe it's a dirty house and a cat litter issue. Windows and blinds are shut 24/7/365.The gardens gone into disrepair. Weeds grow up to the bedroom windows and the patio is now full of a hardy shrub 10 feet high. There are countless black bin bags outside full of rubbish and I've seen a few wine bottles.I've offered many times to clear the garden (I'm a gardener). for free.She immediately refuses anything from me and chooses to say it's not true. countless times.I'm now close to thinking of getting social services involved or looking at getting custody.I'm sure they will get called names at school with the smell.I work hard. run my own successful business and take them on holiday every year. The mum never takes them out anywhere even for a day.I've mentioned the smell before and got verbally attacked. and I asked very very carefully and sympathetically.What are my options and chances of custody?I live in a town an hour away so they would go to a new school.I believe we would be able to give them better opportunities in life.Background.We split 6 years ago.She called it off after I found out she was virtually meeting other men for adult purposes.2 months later I joined a gym and lost 5 stone in weight.I started dating and let my current partner. Been with her ever since.Had issues with the ex not letting my girls see her. Had to take her to court to get proper regular access.She accused my partners 6 year old son of sexually molesting one of our daughter's and reported to social services who found nothing whatsoever. completely false. he was 6!.My eldest daughter aged 14 has some learning issues mentally.I just want to get as much help as I can before she leaves school. I did reinstate some hospital visits for her for this as my ex had previously ignored them

Our Response:
Surely your daughters must say something about their home life when they come to stay? One option is to speak to your children's school about your concerns to see whether you can work in tandem. Many people have homes that aren't super clean, but it doesn't mean your children are being neglected. If you wish to see more about what constitutes neglect, please see link here . You can also speak to the trained counsellors via this link for more advice.
ChildSupportLaws - 3-Apr-18 @ 10:43 AM
Hi.. split from my ex wife 6 years ago.My 2 daughter's aged 14 and 10 live with her.I'm in their lives properly.I speak twice a week to them and they sleep over at mine each weekend.I live with my partner a joint child and her son. My 2 daughter's living with their mum are coming smelly each week.I believe it's a dirty house and a cat litter issue. Windows and blinds are shut 24/7/365... The gardens gone into disrepair.Weeds grow up to the bedroom windows and the patio is now full of a hardy shrub 10 feet high.There are countless black bin bags outside full of rubbish and I've seen a few wine bottles. I've offered many times to clear the garden (I'm a gardener).. for free.. She immediately refuses anything from me and chooses to say it's not true..countless times... I'm now close to thinking of getting social services involved or looking at getting custody. I'm sure they will get called names at school with the smell. I work hard.. run my own successful business and take them on holiday every year. The mum never takes them out anywhere even for a day. I've mentioned the smell before and got verbally attacked..and I asked very very carefully and sympathetically. What are my options and chances of custody? I live in a town an hour away so they would go to a new school. I believe we would be able to give them better opportunities in life. Background.. We split 6 years ago... She called it off after I found out she was virtually meeting other men for adult purposes. 2 months later I joined a gym and lost 5 stone in weight. I started dating and let my current partner.Been with her ever since. Had issues with the ex not letting my girls see her..Had to take her to court to get proper regular access. She accused my partners 6 year old son of sexually molesting one of our daughter'sand reported to social services who found nothing whatsoever.. completely false.. he was 6!.. My eldest daughter aged 14 has some learning issues mentally. I just want to get as much help as I can before she leaves school.I did reinstate some hospital visits for her for this as my ex had previously ignored them
Henry - 2-Apr-18 @ 2:36 PM
Half full - Your Question:
My ex husband and I have a final order child arrangement programme in place. I am the main child carer in the arrangements split. The ex husband is now saying that he doesn’t want to see his eldest son and has suggested that I take the eldest and he takes the youngest. I have not agreed to this but if he refuses to take the older child do I have any right to delay/refuse contact for the youngest? I don’t want them separated and I think it would be detrimental to both children on many levels to experience this.

Our Response:
If you cannot agree between you, then you would have to seek mediation in order to resolve this issue. There are no right or wrong answers. However, is never a good idea to withhold access as a punishment if you are punishing the child as much as the parent.
ChildSupportLaws - 27-Mar-18 @ 12:20 PM
Catherine- Your Question:
Hello. I desperately need some advise. I have three children, 14, 11 and 9. Father didn't bother to see them for a period then decided to bother, went to court to see them regularly. I agreed everything. Then in a few months I ended up in court again when he hired a barrister and took me to court to impose injunction on me - breach of court order. Apparently for one occasion he didn't have an access, he claimed I prevented children to go to his, for this, he went to court. Judge standed by me, and I was let go without any fine charge or injunction. I had to fight for my life atvourt that day. He turn up arrogant with his confident barrister and I turned up alone with no legal aid. He and his barrister not only tried to enforce an injunktion on me but also make me pay all their hefty legal expenses, yet he didn't pay for months any maintanence. Although it was a victory, I am still shaken with the animosity and embition to annihilate me that day. A year passed and there is another problem now. Children 9 and 11 do not want to go and stay at his house, but the father keeps treathening to take me to court every month if they dont go to his because they are ill. Originally, when he took me to court to annihilate me, I told court that my son then 13, do not want to see him, they said he is growing and can make his decisions. Since then my son never went to his, and this never bothered the father. So, when is the age that my younger children can chose to go or stay and this will not give the father another opportunity to take me to court. Please help me

Our Response:
Any changes to a contact order must be agreed by both parties. One party cannot unilaterally decide to change the order, meaning you cannot decide that your children no longer have to go see their father. If you wish to change the terms of the order, then you will have to refer the matter back to court to let the court decide what it thinks is in your children's best interests. If you breach the order again, then your ex will have the option to refer the matter back to court to once again have the order enforced. .
ChildSupportLaws - 27-Mar-18 @ 12:14 PM
Hello. I desperately need some advise. I have three children, 14, 11 and 9. Father didn't bother to see them for a period then decided to bother, went to court to see them regularly. I agreed everything. Then in a few months I ended up in court again when he hired a barrister and took me to court to impose injunction on me - breach of court order. Apparently for one occasion he didn't have an access, he claimed I prevented children to go to his, for this, he went to court.Judge standed by me, and I was let go without any fine charge or injunction. I had to fight for my life atvourt that day. He turn up arrogant with his confident barrister and I turned up alone with no legal aid. He and his barrister not only tried to enforce an injunktion on me but also make me pay all their hefty legal expenses, yet he didn't pay for months any maintanence. Although it was a victory, I am still shaken with the animosity and embition to annihilate me that day. A year passed and there is another problem now. Children 9 and 11 do not want to go and stay at his house, but the father keeps treathening to take me to court every month if they dont go to his because they are ill. Originally, when he took me to court to annihilate me, I told court that my son then 13,do not want to see him, they said he is growing and can make his decisions. Since then my son never went to his, and this never bothered the father. So, when is the age that my younger children can chose to go or stay and this will not give the father another opportunity to take me to court. Please help me
Catherine - 26-Mar-18 @ 9:45 PM
My ex husband and I have a final order child arrangement programme in place. I am the main child carer in the arrangements split.The ex husband is now saying that he doesn’t want to see his eldest son and has suggested that I take the eldest and he takes the youngest. I have not agreed to this but if he refuses to take the older child do I have any right to delay/refuse contact for the youngest? I don’t want them separated and I think it would be detrimental to both children on many levels to experience this.
Half full - 23-Mar-18 @ 3:44 PM
Hi. My step son chose to live with me and his father, however his father got work overseas and now lives overseas. I am still in the UK with my step son. I claim maintenance through the CMS from the mother. Due to renting our home, my step son has had to move in with his Nan... Can I still claim child maintenance through the CMS? My husband and I are still paying for day to day care of my step son such as food, clothing etc.. he just isn't living under the same roof. Thanks.
StepUp - 23-Mar-18 @ 8:26 AM
hi am looking for advise, when my son was 18 months his dad wouldn't return him from having contact with him, i had to go to court to have my son removed from the house he was being kept in, the police assisted with this. we both them went though the court to set out in writing the arrangements for my son. at the time i offered weekend contact but because of a long line of issues discovered through the court case he ended in a contact centre, then due to failure to attend the contact centre and having no relation with my son over the 2 year court case the judge wanted to rule no contact, although the father wasn't deserving of my son i didn't think it was right to not leave a window of opportunity open for him to be a dad.I request that the judge give him a level of contact but to put things in place so that the issues over the time of the court case wouldn't happen if contact was taken up. the judge do this as far i can remember, i no that he order my son to live with me and for his father to have no parent responsibility in teams of every day decision making, his father couldn't get a passport or bank account in my sons name etc the judge order alternative weekend one night stays, this was in 2010. my sons dad seen him 2 times after the court case and then hasn't seen him since. my son has autism so struggles with change, emotions and social skills. his struggles was so bad over a period of 3 years when contact stopped with his father that he was taken out of mainstream school for 12 months, he is currently settled in a mainstream school and has been for a few years now, he is due to start secondary school in sept and now his dad has made an application to the court for contact. where do i stand on this as my son doesn't no him and his condition only makes it harder with change and getting to no strangers. I am obviously worried that my son will have the same issues as before with emotional side of things regarding establishing contact after 7 years and i don't want this to impact him going in to secondary school. his grades are really good and he is happy, could you please advise, thank you in advance
k - 21-Mar-18 @ 10:13 PM
Hay - Your Question:
My daughter is 10, her father has not seen her for 5 years (his choice) as he moved away and has a new family and never paid child support. I have never taken him to CSA as we cope without his money. I want to change her last name as she still has his last name. How do I go about doing this and am I able to get his parental rights towards her terminated?

Our Response:
If your ex has parental responsibility of your child, you would still have to request his consent to change your child's last name, please see link here. You would have to take the matter to court, if you wish to request the court takes away your child's father's PR. However, it is rare a court will do this. A court has to have very good reason.
ChildSupportLaws - 16-Mar-18 @ 11:11 AM
My daughter is 10, her father has not seen her for 5 years (his choice) as he moved away and has a new familyand never paid child support. I have never taken him to CSA as we cope without his money. I want to change her last name as she still has his last name. How do I go about doing this and am I able to get his parental rights towards her terminated?
Hay - 15-Mar-18 @ 6:28 PM
RitaBee - Your Question:
Am looking for some advice. I've never stopped my son from seeing his dad. We have been sepearted for many years. He has never been continuous in our sons life. Makes up excuses as to why he cant come for him and doesnt contribute to school clothing or anything in that matter that my child needs. However my son is nearly 7 years old and gets very upset having to see him. To the point where he is hysterically crying when I say his dad is coming over. We have a very strong bond and my son says he will miss me too much, and when I say go with your dad for a little while he becomes upset with me and I don't want this to affect our relationship. He's scared that His dad won't bring him back as His dad has said to our child that tuff he's a child and doesn't have a say in the matter. His father never pays or turns up when he says he will. But now he is saying he is taking me to court for over night stays fri-sun every second weekend. His father is meant to have our son every sunday but my son wont go or his father wont show up I just feel over night stays is a bit much at the moment and I don't feel this is the best interest for my son as he isnt used to being away from me that long. Am just wondering wjere I stand in the matter as I've never stopped contact but I also dont force my son to go with his dad if he says no he doesnt want to go then I respect his choice and wont force him, I feel this arrangement will effect my child's emotional well being.

Our Response:
If you stop your child from seeing his other parent, then you should discuss why with the other parent. You then have the option of trying to work through the issues via mediation. If you refuse to attend mediation on the request of your ex, then your ex will have the option to apply to court. if the matter goes to court, a court will then decide upon what it thinks is in the best interests of your son. If a court order is put in place, then you would have to stick to it. Therefore, it is always best to try to work alongside your ex regarding what is causing the problems and try to resolve them between you, or via mediation.
ChildSupportLaws - 12-Mar-18 @ 2:32 PM
Am looking for some advice. I've never stopped my son from seeing his dad. We have been sepearted for many years. He has never been continuous in our sons life. Makes up excuses as to why he cant come for him and doesnt contribute to school clothing or anything in that matter that my child needs. However my son is nearly 7 years old and gets very upset having to see him. To the point where he is hysterically crying when I say his dad is coming over. We have a very strong bond and my son says he will miss me too much, and when I say go with your dad for a little while he becomes upset with me and I don't want this to affect our relationship. He's scared that His dad won't bring him back as His dad has said to our child that tuff he's a child and doesn't have a say in the matter.His father never pays or turns up when he says he will. But now he is saying he is taking me to court for over night stays fri-sun every second weekend. His father is meant to have our son every sunday but my son wont go or his father wont show up i just feel over night stays is a bit much at the moment and I don't feel this is the best interest for my son as he isnt used to being away from me that long.Am just wondering wjere I stand in the matter as I've never stopped contact but i also dont force my son to go with his dad if he says no he doesnt want to go then i respect his choice and wont force him, I feel this arrangement will effect my child's emotional well being.
RitaBee - 10-Mar-18 @ 9:46 AM
Ashjo - Your Question:
Hi I was wondering if you could help. My daughters dad had a contact order put in place and last Feb he decided to cut all contact and blamed it on my then 7 year old daughter. There has been no contact from him and the only way I found out was when I asked his wife why they hadn’t been to pick her up. Is there anyway I can get the contact order removed due to this? Thanks

Our Response:
If your ex has breached the order, then you would have to refer the matter back to court to have the order officially stopped. A solicitor's letter specifying that as your ex has had no contact then the order is no longer applicable, may also work. However, the order is naturally no longer deemed a working order, especially if you or your ex do not wish to apply to court to have the order enforced.
ChildSupportLaws - 8-Mar-18 @ 11:38 AM
Hi I was wondering if you could help. My daughters dad had a contact order put in place and last Feb he decided to cut all contact and blamed it on my then 7 year old daughter. There has been no contact from him and the only way I found out was when I asked his wife why they hadn’t been to pick her up. Is there anyway I can get the contact order removed due to this? Thanks
Ashjo - 7-Mar-18 @ 8:44 PM
Miss Jane - Your Question:
My husband and I are struggling to sort out contact arrangements for our 2 year old son during the holidays. He says he wants him for half the holiday, but in one block (so 3 solid weeks over the summer). My son has not been parted from me for more than 3 nights and we still breastfeed. I think he would find it incredibly unsettling and upsetting not to see me for so long. Any advice on how to approach this with my ex who is permanently angry and very vindictive.

Our Response:
If you cannot agree between you, then mediation would be the next option. The last option to consider is court via a child arrangement order, please see link here. As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the child in question. The court will always put the child’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order.
ChildSupportLaws - 5-Mar-18 @ 2:41 PM
My husband and I are struggling to sort out contact arrangements for our 2 year old son during the holidays. He says he wants him for half the holiday, but in one block (so 3 solid weeks over the summer). My son has not been parted from me for more than 3 nights and we still breastfeed. I think he would find it incredibly unsettling and upsetting not to see me for so long. Any advice on how to approach this with my ex who is permanently angry and very vindictive.
Miss Jane - 4-Mar-18 @ 9:15 PM
S5 - Your Question:
Hi. I have a very unusual situation where by a very close friend has a 5 years old daughter. She has been split from the father for 4 years. The daughter sees her dad 3 times a week and the relationship between the parents is amicable. Over the last 18 mothts the little girl has said how she doesnt want to see her dad anymore. This is because in her words 'she doesnt like him, he doesn't talk to her or do anything with her as he is always playing on his phone. The mom has been convincing the little girl to see her dad however last week the girl broke down at school in tears and told the teachers. The teachers have fully documented the situation and have relayed back that they can tell that what was said was the little girl's own mind and nothing has been fed to her. She is still absolutly adamant she doesnt want to see her father and cries at the very suggestion of possibly seeing him or even talking to him. How does this stand legally? The father is now looking to take this through court to get and order to force the girl to see him. Can this be granred against the girl's will?

Our Response:
Often the court will ask Cafcass to prepare a report. A Family Court Adviser will prepare this report usually after seeing both the parties separately and with the children involved in the case, they may also wish to see the children on their own, please see link here.
ChildSupportLaws - 26-Feb-18 @ 2:14 PM
Hi. For the past 6 years i have always given my ex every other weekend (fri-sun eve) with my 2 children 6&10 yrs old, he used to have a week night for dinner but constantly cancelled on them so we stuck to every other weekend. I had a harrassment order against him but when this ended he applied to court for more accesssaying i with hold access (which i never have even when he didn't pay or was being abusive) and wanting their passports to take them abroad (which am worried he wont return them) and also wants their surname changed from mine to his stating he wasnt aware (even thought he was in same room and signed the birth certificates) im so worried that all his lies will be believed, my children are not toys he is never there when he does have them anyway!
Clou90 - 24-Feb-18 @ 8:14 PM
Hi. I have a very unusual situation where by a very close friend has a 5 years old daughter. She has been split from the father for 4 years. The daughter sees her dad 3 times a week and the relationship between the parents is amicable. Over the last 18 mothts the little girl has said how she doesnt want to see her dad anymore. This is because in her words 'she doesnt like him, he doesn't talk to her or do anything with her as he is always playing on his phone. The mom has been convincing the little girl to see her dad however last week the girl broke down at school in tears and told the teachers. The teachers have fully documented the situation and have relayed back that they can tell that what was said was the little girl's own mind and nothing has been fed to her. She is still absolutly adamant she doesnt want to see her father and cries at the very suggestion of possibly seeing him or even talking to him. How does this stand legally? The father is now looking to take this through court to get and order to force the girl to see him. Can this be granred against the girl's will?
S5 - 24-Feb-18 @ 11:06 AM
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