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Your Legal Rights as a Parent

By: Anna Martin - Updated: 27 Sep 2016 | comments*Discuss
 
Parent Child Parent With Care Non

Losing full-time contact with a child is a difficult and painful outcome of any separation or divorce. The parent who retains day-to-day care of the child may not experience as much separation anxiety as the non resident parent, but they will however become more financially minded.

Maintenance payments from the non resident parent will help ease the financial pressure of raising a child, but unless parents agree to shared care or regular access and visits there may be other problems to overcome too.

Parenting Plan

A custody court order will include a parenting plan or visitation schedule which parents must adhere to. This plan is more likely to affect, and/or restrict, the non resident parent, particularly if the parents are not able to communicate effectively. Understanding and accepting that there will be imposed changes that will affect a non resident parent’s relationship with their child in some way, may enable the parent to consider expressing views openly prior to the custody order being finalised.

Many parents are able to make private arrangements that put the child’s rights and needs first. Joint custody or shared care will enable both parents to have regular contact with their child, and to contribute equally to the emotional, physical and financial aspects of child raising.

Making Modifications

A non resident parent may have a court order but may still experience problems enforcing it. Being flexible about re-arranging a visit keeps communication open. However, the parent with care must acknowledge the non resident parent’s rights.

If problems persist, threatening to withhold child support is not a good idea. If a parent has to go to court to enforce visitation any threats to stop child support payments will be held against them. Modifying maintenance is only acceptable if the parent with care has an increase in income whilst the non resident parent’s income has decreased, or a parent’s expenses have increased considerably through illness etc.

Parent And Child Rights

On the whole, the law allows parents to bring up their children in accordance with their own beliefs and values. This gives parents the right to make decisions about the child’s upbringing, provided the child’s well-being is never put at risk. Parents must accept that wanting their own way however, is not the same thing as exercising a right. Although parents have the right to set limits they do not have the right to enforce views.

A parent has the right to determine their child’s name, religion, form of education and healthcare. They also have the right to accompany the child outside the UK and agree on emigration issues. Parents who have a joint custody agreement share rights and parental responsibilities. If the child’s parents are divorced, however, the mother generally has charge of parental responsibility, although the father’s opinions can be expressed and documented.

A child’s rights state that a parent must ensure their child is safe from harm, has somewhere to live, has food, clothing, medical care and education and is financially supported.

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Me and my ex partner have had an agreement in place a year now but has actually expired in April 2016, of which until now, my son starting school I feel there needs to amendments made to the rota, of which we both keep the same amount of days but he is not willing to compromise. The reason I feel this now needs to change is my son has since started school, and when picking him up everyday he becomes very upset and confused to where he should be, I feel this comes in to play with affecting his welfare (emotional state) I do not want his school life to suffer and feel mostly being with me during the week would help this (but his father still keeping his same amount of days) What I want to know is can I change this if he refuses anyway or would I have to take it to mediation? As I feel this is a long process to go down and do not want my son suffering?
Dontknowwhatelsetodo - 27-Sep-16 @ 9:21 PM
DazLee - Your Question:
I have a boy aged 7 and I had a court order for me to see him for 7 hours on a Sunday on the outlook at extending time to over nights a year has past with no change, even the summer holidays which is 7 weeks I was not allowed one extra day it had to be inplace of my several hours on the Sunday, sorry forgot to mention I was working during this year which I've recently had a job change which includes compulsory working on the Sunday to which I tried to rearrange the day I get him. I've been told she will not change the dates I get him and now I'm left in a pickle I want to see my son no matter what but I need to be an active working member of society. I have made contact with a lawyer but I know from previous experience that it will take ages to get back into court. Is this allowed can she control my working situation and also the housing will not rehome me closer to my work until she discloses that my kid comes to visit me at my home with the view to staying over I'm at my wits end

Our Response:
I'm afraid the only option here is to take the matter to court and ask for a variation. If your ex refuses to vere from the court order, then you have no real choice here. Therefore, it means you either take the job and ask for temporary flexible working (if you show your employer your court order), or you relinquish the Sunday with your son until the matter goes to court. The other issues you mention may also be able to be dealt with through court. I know it's tough and I do empathise, the difficulty you have is an ex who refuses any compromise.
ChildSupportLaws - 15-Sep-16 @ 12:54 PM
I have a boy aged 7 and I had a court order for me to see him for 7 hours on a Sunday on the outlook at extending time to over nights a year has past with no change, even the summer holidays which is 7 weeks I was not allowed one extra day it had to be inplace of my several hours on the Sunday, sorry forgot to mention I was working during this year which I've recently had a job change which includes compulsory working on the Sunday to which I tried to rearrange the day I get him. I've been told she will not change the dates I get him and now I'm left in a pickle I want to see my son no matter what but I need to be an active working member of society.....I have made contact with a lawyer but I know from previous experience that it will take ages to get back into court......Is this allowed can she control my working situation and also the housing will not rehome me closer to my work until she discloses that my kid comes to visit me at my home with the view to staying over I'm at my wits end
DazLee - 14-Sep-16 @ 8:01 PM
Icequeen74 - Your Question:
Hi I am a mother of two 9 and 11 they live with their dad due to marriage break down and he made me leave and wouldn't let me take the children. My parents are on side with him and don't have anything to do with me. All three make it difficult to see my children they dictate to me when I can see them and they don't really encourage them to see me even thou the children want to see me. They wouldn't let me go to my child's birthday party even thou my child wanted me there. I haven't done anything wrong apart from my marriage breaking down I have no support. I provide for my children and want more contact with my children

Our Response:
I can only suggest you seek legal advice regarding this if you wish to take the matter further and your ex refuses to attend mediation.
ChildSupportLaws - 12-Sep-16 @ 11:44 AM
San - Your Question:
I'm a single parent to 2 girls aged 4 and 6. Mother has broken contact arrangements twice in the last 4yrs and is extremely inconsistent with contact and has only seen them on average once every 3months. She hasn't contributed a single penny since our separation. What are my rights as the girls are now settled in school and I feel that her coming back in for a day is going to cause more emotional harm than good to them. Mm

Our Response:
As any non-resident parent with parental responsibility they will always have the option to apply through courts for a contact order. However, if you are concerned your ex may wish to try and reclaim your children, then you can apply for a residence order which determines where your children would live, please see link here. With regards to child maintenence, this is a separate issue to child access and neither have a any bearing on each other. If your ex is eligible to pay child maintenance i.e she is earning a wage, then if she refuses to contribute to her children's welfare directly, then you can apply via the CMS link here. I hope this helps.
ChildSupportLaws - 12-Sep-16 @ 10:04 AM
Hi I am a mother of two 9 and 11 they live with their dad due to marriage break down and he made me leave and wouldn't let me take the children. My parents are on side with him and don't have anything to do with me. All three make it difficult to see my children they dictate to me when I can see them and they don't really encourage them to see me even thou the children want to see me. They wouldn't let me go to my child's birthday party even thou my child wanted me there. I haven't done anything wrong apart from my marriage breaking down I have no support. I provide for my children and want more contact with my children
Icequeen74 - 11-Sep-16 @ 10:10 AM
I'm a single parent to 2 girls aged 4 and 6. Mother has broken contact arrangements twice in the last 4yrs and is extremely inconsistent with contact and has only seen them on average once every 3months. She hasn't contributed a single penny since our separation. What are my rights as the girls are now settled in school and I feel that her coming back in for a day is going to cause more emotional harm than good to them. Mm
San - 11-Sep-16 @ 12:45 AM
My son's girlfriend left with their two children. She wants to co parent but this seems impossible.Argument's are frequent police are called by her and others.She comes be day and night and most recent argument has a domestic violence order issued.My grand kids are exposed that this all the time. I want him to proceed with some sort of separation can he just go to NV da
Worried Nana - 10-Sep-16 @ 8:27 PM
Hi, could someone please advise me. My partner and i seperated almost a year ago. We have a 3 year old! He decided to take me to court for a defined contact order which he was getting anyway every weekend. He failed at times to show up, took himself of for 3 weeks, then a week and then numerous weekends so at times hadn't seen the child for quite a bit! Anyway the last 9-10 weeks she has become increasingly hysterical at every sight of him, refuses to go with him, I noticed it was having a bad effect on her to the extent she wouldn't talk to anyone with maybe only miming or blinking to communicate and then started to have toilet accidents regularly! I have allowed him into my home to get her around, have met him in soft play areas etc...but nothing seems to be working and she keeps telling me she is scared and doesn't want to go! She sobs sore when she sees him and is inconsolable! I am worried about the effect this is having on her and maybe for the future too, I have tried to talk with him and explain it but he just says I'm not doing enough to promote their relationship, when really I have tried everything in the book, even down to having pictures of them developed for in the house . It's got so bad I have told him to please just leave her alone until the day she tells me she wants to go and I will be in contact! Can someone advise me is there any law or act that represents a child's emotional wellbeing regarding this, because surely telling me a thousand and one times she doesn't want to go and becoming distressed that her voice should be concerned and she should be able to stand up and be counted for! I am scared for the effect it is having on her in the long run.
Justme - 10-Sep-16 @ 7:58 PM
Worried mum - Your Question:
My ex is named on the b/cert but we are not married. He has been inconsistant with maintanence payments stating that he will only pay if he has he girls in the past. Now he has failed on several occasions to pay maintanence so I have gone through CSA. He has recieved the letter about this and is demanding to have our youngest for over night stays, she is 4 months old and has only seen him once a week sometimes not even that for an hour or so. He has also threatened me with a PSO for moving, I cant afford where I live currently on my own so am moving closer to my family for help/ into council housing approx 4 miles away. Its a bit of a mess I have never denied him access despite his unreliability. Do I legally have to let him have his daughter over night? And what happens if he refuses to hand them back on a day he has them? Can he do so? Should I seek proper legal advice im so worried about my girls

Our Response:
Firstly, child maintenance and child access are completely separate issues that have no bearing on each other. This means just because you have requested payment through the CMS/CSA it doesn't mean you have to give your ex extra access to your children. In other words children should not be used as financial bartering tools by either parent. Regarding him applying for a PSO, this is highly unlikely stand up in court if you have to move for financial reasons (as these can be justified by you). Plus, the distance is unlikely to make a difference to your ex's and children's relationship, therefore the court is unlikely to grant a PSO. Your ex is making threats of which you do not have to be bullied in to. Please be aware though, that if your ex is named on the birth certificate and has parental responsibility then if he refuses to hand your children back the police cannot intervene and you would have to apply for your children to be returned through the courts. This is a very rare occurance and not one that any parent should take without serious consideration as it can backfire. But it can happen. If you are fearful of this occuring, I suggest you apply for a child arrangement order through the courts which will determine where your children shall live (which means the police can get involved if your children are not returned). Once in place you can arrange contact either through mediation or through court at the same time. Some legal advice may help you in the first instance. If you cannot afford legal representation after this, you can self-litigate.
ChildSupportLaws - 8-Sep-16 @ 11:40 AM
My ex is named on the b/cert but we are not married. He has been inconsistant with maintanence payments stating that he will only pay if he has he girls in the past. Now he has failed on several occasions to pay maintanence so i have gone through CSA. He has recieved the letter about this and is demanding to have our youngest for over night stays, she is 4 months old and has only seen him once a week sometimes not even that for an hour or so. He has also threatened me with a PSO for moving, i cant afford where i live currently on my own so am moving closer to my family for help/ into council housing approx 4 miles away. Its a bit of a mess i have never denied him access despite his unreliability. Do i legally have to let him have his daughter over night? And what happens if he refuses to hand them back on a day he has them? Can he do so? Should i seek proper legal advice im so worried about my girls
Worried mum - 7-Sep-16 @ 3:17 PM
My daughter has separated from partner they have 12 year old girlEmma .my daughter has since remarried both have joint custody of girl although she is legal guardian.The problem is Emma wants to go to school of her choice were her pals from primary were my daughter wants to send her to another school she thinks is much better but Emma has caused so much fuss about the decision she has got her Dad involved who threatens to take her out of the school of my daughter s choice . John Norman
John711 - 2-Sep-16 @ 5:29 PM
I am no longer seeing my children after always having them 4 times a week. I rely on my ex partner to sort out contact after battling her in court for best part of 2 years...but have no faith in her to promote contact which she stated she would whilst in court....I have been in touch with cafcass who were very supportive of me during this time and they have closed this case in April on the basis of promises made by my ex that we would sort this situation out between us...It is now September and I'm no further forward and the support my ex promised hasn't really happened...I don't know where to turn now as this has already cost me 19000 and I'm not really in a position now to spend any more...I pay maintenance every week, and would like to know where I stand regarding witholding the payments and placing them into savings accounts for my children instead...After all Im not seeing my children and it's not like I'm not willing to pay money but if I can put it into saving accounts instead for my children then I would like to do that. ..are there any consequences for doing this as it's not like I'm not paying, just won't be giving it directly to my ex partner
Paulrae77 - 2-Sep-16 @ 10:00 AM
Hilt - Your Question:
I have a child arrangement order over my 18 month old son. We have joint care n both have pr, tho it does work out I have him through the majority of the week and more time. Recently my ex has got a new partner. I asked meet this person as obviously they going have a big impact on my sons development. It was flatly refused, I won't even get told the persons name. On top of that my son has recently become very funny round men, and today has come back with a nasty mark on his face. I'm obviously very concerned about my son's welfare, for all I know this man could be a violent thug. What options do I have? Way I feel is I dont want send him his mother's due to the risk, but know there are large risks to that

Our Response:
I would tread carefully in this instance. In the first instance we can assume that the mother of your child has your son's best interest at heart and you have to question whether she would allow someone in your son's life who may be a 'violent thug'? Your main objective here is to not go on the offensive without any proof whatsoever, but to try to work your concerns out with your ex. There may be many reason why your ex is refusing to let you meet her new partner, it may be because she doesn't trust your motives, or she thinks you may react, or simply that she wishes to keep this side of her life private. Going in with a sledgehammer is not the best idea, but talking amicably to your ex about your concerns of introducing a new man into your son's life should be your first approach. The fact you have your son a lot of the time will help you to be able to assess whether he likes your ex's new man. But don't look for issues that might not be there. For your son's and your sake you have to trust your ex as your son's mother that she would not put him in a harmful situation and take it gently from there.
ChildSupportLaws - 30-Aug-16 @ 1:52 PM
I have a child arrangement order over my 18 month old son. We have joint care n both have pr, tho it does work out I have him through the majority of the week and more time. Recently my ex has got a new partner. I asked meet this person as obviously they going have a big impact on my sons development. It was flatly refused, I won't even get told the persons name. On top of that my son has recently become very funny round men, and today has come back with a nasty mark on his face. I'm obviously very concerned about my son's welfare, for all i know this man could be a violent thug. What options do I have? Way I feel is i dont want send him his mother's due to the risk, but know there are large risks to that
Hilt - 29-Aug-16 @ 10:30 PM
Can you help? A nursery has threatened to withdraw my child's placed, told me I can't speak to other parents or raise concerns about the welfare of my child? This nursery is based in Scotland and is private with a government partnership. Can they legally do this?
Peeved - 28-Aug-16 @ 11:49 AM
Scott- Your Question:
I live with my wife and her 3 children from a previous marriage. 18, 15 and 8. The children's father was violent and was found guilty of assault on my wife and causing the children fear and alarm although he was charged with assaulting them.He has not seen them for 3 years ( bail conditions prior to court last year caused 2 years of that ) The older children are petrified of him thankfully the youngest hardly remembers him. Reason for writing is we are contemplating emigration. He is a control freak who even though he doesn't see them would be against this. Where do we stand ? Are we likely to be prevented from going ? I don't want to just go and then be dragged back by the court system.

Our Response:
If you are thinking of emigrating, regardless of whether your wife's ex doesn't see the children, if he has parental responsibility you will have to apply through the courts if he refuses give consent. If you leave the country without requesting permission through the courts you could be charged with abduction.
ChildSupportLaws - 25-Aug-16 @ 2:08 PM
I live with my wife and her 3 children from a previous marriage. 18, 15 and 8. The children's father was violent and was found guilty of assault on my wife and causing the children fear and alarm although he was charged with assaulting them. He has not seen them for 3 years ( bail conditions prior to court last year caused 2 years of that ) The older children are petrified of him thankfully the youngest hardly remembers him. Reason for writing is we are contemplating emigration. He is a control freak who even though he doesn't see them would be against this . Where do we stand ? Are we likely to be prevented from going ? I don't want to just go and then be dragged back by the court system .
Scott - 25-Aug-16 @ 10:55 AM
Mal - Your Question:
My daughter split from her partner a year ago they have a 4 year old son. she is the resident parent with her ex partner seeing him for a few hours a week plus maybe one overnight stay every 10 -14 days. Recently he has been verbally abusive to her both in person and on text as has is mother. He has now taken to dictating who she can see whilst with her son. on a recent visit he saw that we were visiting our daughter and took away her son saying we were not allowed to see him as we are bad grandparents because we do not visit him enough. We live over 350 miles and our in our sixties and with the expense of train fares and hotels it is not easy to visit that often. Does my daughter have to take any notice or indeed allow him to do this?

Our Response:
No, your daughter does not have to consent to this, what she plans to do with her child is up to her. Just as when the father has his son, the plans he has with his son should be his decision. Unless your visit coincided with his agreed time with his child, then as the resident parent your daughter can put her foot down and not allow her ex to dictate such rules.
ChildSupportLaws - 24-Aug-16 @ 11:17 AM
My daughter split from her partner a year ago they have a 4 year old son. she is the resident parent with her ex partner seeing him for a few hours a week plus maybe one overnight stay every 10 -14 days. Recently he has been verbally abusive to her both in person and on text as has is mother. He has now taken to dictating who she can see whilst with her son . on a recent visit he saw that we were visiting our daughter and took away her son saying we were not allowed to see him as we are badgrandparents because we do not visit him enough. We live over 350 miles and our in our sixties and with the expense of train fares and hotels it is not easy to visit that often. Does my daughter have to take any notice or indeed allow him to do this?
Mal - 23-Aug-16 @ 2:53 PM
Blaze - Your Question:
HiMe and my ex husband agreed through solicitors when we divorced that we would have a shared custody order. That was two years ago. Up until now it has worked but lately my ex has started to bully me and use our daughter against me. For example he has taken her away for 10 days over the holidays, 5 of which was my agreed days. When they came back, I asked if I could see her and have her overnight as he's had her for 10 days and his response was no as it is his agreed day to have her. He keeps saying that I am not her primary carer and that his home which is the home she grew up in, is her actual home. He keeps threatening to take me to court for full custody and that we have equal rights at the moment but I don't care for our daughter at all. My address is on all her school, doctors, hospital notes etc and I claim the tax credits and pay all the school dinners and creche fees. I don't even receive CSA from him as he claims he does not have to pay as he has shared custody.Can someone please clear up what shared custody is for me and what rights do I have etc? Also is there a way I can stop the shared custody as he is now using it as a way to bully me and I do not want our daughter to pick up on it? Thank you.

Our Response:
You would have to seek legal advice regarding this. If you both have shared care and one of you wishes to become the primary carer then it would have to be assessed through the courts. You don't say how old you daughter is either, but if she is over the age of 11 her opinion will also count regarding where she wishes to live. The definition of 'shared care' is that neither parent should take the dominant role in the parenting relationship and that all decisions are mutual. The fact this arrangement can break down is one of the reasons the courts are reluctant to award this status over and above the resident-parent status and NRP status, unless both parents agree. If the matter goes to court, the court will decide what it thinks is in the best interests of your child based upon the results of the Cafcass report. The fact you are financially in control of your daughter's welfare edges you into the theoretical position of primary carer. However, other practical and emotional considerations would be taken into account such as which parent lives closest to the school, which area does your daughter feel more at home in and where most of her family and friends are based. Therefore, legal advice here will help to establish whether you have a strong case against your ex, should the situation worsen.
ChildSupportLaws - 22-Aug-16 @ 2:04 PM
Hi Me and my ex husband agreed through solicitors when we divorced that we would have a shared custody order. That was two years ago. Up until now it has worked but lately my ex has started to bully me and use our daughter against me. For example he has taken her away for 10 days over the holidays, 5 of which was my agreed days. When they came back,I asked if I could see her and have her overnight as he's had her for 10 days and his response was no as it is his agreed day to have her. He keeps saying that I am not her primary carer and that his home which is the home she grew up in, is her actual home. He keeps threatening to take me to court for full custody and thatwe have equal rights at the moment but I don't care for our daughter at all. My address is on all her school, doctors, hospital notes etc and I claim the tax credits and pay all the school dinners and creche fees. I don't even receive CSA from him as he claims he does not have to pay as he has shared custody. Can someone please clear up what shared custody is for me and what rights do I have etc? Also is there a way I can stop the shared custody as he is now using it as a way to bully me and I do not want our daughter to pick up on it? Thank you.
Blaze - 22-Aug-16 @ 12:24 AM
Hi I'm not against paying child support I'm a father and I should pay It has to be in line with a persons wages or income The matter that does annoy me is the state pays child tax credits working tax credits and housing benefit and a part time wage to the person with care So a low income worker has less than the minimum wage to live on cannot claim any benefits and the charge for child support is taken at gross wage not net wages So by being denied contact and involvement with our children We also have to pay out again for contact cost and living costs ? How is child support laws fair and balanced if the pwc yearly income is not taken into account ? They say Cms we don't take their money we take yours So the practice of financial abuse is ok the pas of a parent is ok How is that protecting children When they have to suffer mindless dead beat hostile abusive parents Over their expected right of being paid for a natural act of having children This law is a discriminative practice against men workers and to fundamental act of being a father Three times going to court can have the risk of the child/ ren being taken off them Nine times I've been to court and I'm in breach of my contact order because I'm being screwed over in child payments The kids going to Paris Disney world says she's not in hardship I'm not bitter good for the kids but as a father I don't have the means to give them that option The law is an arse take my licence so stop you from being employed take my home so stops me having safe contact with my kids Steal up to 40% in a garnish For a system that does not regulate weather that money is spent on the kids or not But the state pays out in benefits 14,000 in handouts ? fathers are denied children are being absued by mothers who think that the law is for them When law is about our children But being a man we can be marginalised and discriminated against How can a modern society expect fathers not to be deadbeats if they putting us in hardship over % chargers that don't go to our children It's about making profit out of children So it's slavery it's mal practice mal administration and abuse of office The hours I've spent chatting bubbles with these half wits and clowns Common sense does not register with this company Fixed home fixed address can attack your living wage Because the rate of cost is not in line with the low income that most workers earn and high rents and bills The law of child support is about making money How can they say gross income when tax and nic have to be paid When the state give thousands in benefits this law is a crime not balanced or fair and is a breach of my human rights
Borny - 17-Aug-16 @ 9:50 AM
Jojoed - Your Question:
I'm a single parent to 4 children. My two youngest my girl is 17 and my boy is 11 have on occasions stayed at their Dad's house and each time he's moved I've been told the new address. I've had over the last few months a very strong feelings something was being kept a secret from me, my ex told me last week the day before he was going he was taking our 11yr old away for a long weekend, so all I asked was where they were going and was anyone else going with them? My ex flipped and told me it was none of my business! I managed to get Butlins out of him. Anyway to cut a long story short I had to let my boy go but the whole time worried sick then he's wanting to take him camping for a few day's and I said no unless you tell me where and who with and he won't!.my 17yr old then broke down and told me that my ex has moved in with a woman his girlfriend and this was over 2 months ago and he told them not to tell me.so when they have gone to stay at their Dad's they have not been staying where I thought they were!.I think at the very least I as their mother I have the right to know where and who with my children are.he's having none of it and I don't know what to do can you help please.

Our Response:
This is a tricky question to answer and I can only try to answer it by asking you to put the shoe on the other foot, i.e if you met someone new and you took your children to stay with them, would you feel the need to consult your ex? Yes, it shows courtesy for an ex to let the other parent know certain things, but if the other parent may react by withdrawing access, or not trusting their judgment then it is understandable that the non-resident parent wishes to keep matters private. Another issue here is that some resident-parents can tend to think the NRP is not capable of looking after their own children, even though they have an equal ability and can demonstrate as much love and care as the resident parent (i.e they are a responsible adult, and your children are older and therefore able to form decisions of their own). Unless there is any reason why your ex would put the children in a harmful situation then there is no reason why your ex has explain himself and his actions. Trying to have a trusting relationship with an ex and knowing that both of you have your children's best interests at heart is the main thing. What your ex does and who he introduces your children to (especially if he is in a committed relationship) is really up to him and his ability to make rational decisions as a parent. There are no legal rights to say what a parent can or can't do in circumstances such as this, the best parents can do is be able to negotiate between themselves over what they think is in the best interests of their kids.
ChildSupportLaws - 12-Aug-16 @ 12:02 PM
I'm a single parent to 4 children. My two youngest my girl is 17 and my boy is 11 have on occasions stayed at their Dad's house and each time he's moved I've been told the new address. I've had over the last few months a very strong feelings something was being kept a secret from me, my ex told me last week the day before he was going he was taking our 11yr old away for a long weekend, so all I asked was where they were going and was anyone else going with them? My ex flipped and told me it was none of my business! I managed to get Butlins out of him. Anyway to cut a long story shortI had to let my boy go but the whole time worried sick then he's wanting to take him camping for a few day's and I said no unless you tell me where and who with and he won't!...my 17yr old then broke down and told me that my ex has moved in with a woman his girlfriend and this was over 2 months ago and he told them not to tell me....so when they have gone to stay at their Dad's they have not been staying where I thought they were!...I think at the very least I as their mother I have the right to know where and who with my children are....he's having none of it and I don't know what to do can you help please.
Jojoed - 11-Aug-16 @ 12:18 PM
Getting frustrated- Your Question:
Hi I was wondering if you could give me some advice please. My partner n ex when to court where she was rewarded residents, now 2 years later we have had my step daughter full time for a year with once a week contact from her mother, if that at times. Where do we stand with getting this residents order changed?

Our Response:
You would have to apply to court. I suggest you seek legal advice before you apply in order to explore your options.
ChildSupportLaws - 1-Aug-16 @ 1:48 PM
Hi I was wondering if you could give me some advice please. My partner n ex when to court where she was rewarded residents, now 2 years later we have had my step daughter full time for a year with once a week contact from her mother, if that at times. Where do we stand with getting this residents order changed?
Getting frustrated - 31-Jul-16 @ 11:30 PM
My children(17 &15) live with my ex husband, ive now found out he had moved but is refusing to provide me with his new address.What can I do as he has also told the children not to tell me Thanks
Aly - 29-Jul-16 @ 8:37 PM
Concerned mum - Your Question:
My ex has moved into, in his words, a grim bedsit not suitable for children'. What rights do I have as resident parent to say I do not want my 4 year old daughter sleeping there?

Our Response:
You have every right to make a decision on what you think is in the best interests of your child. Obviously, the best way to discuss this is reasonably with your ex directly and try to come to an alternative access routine between you. If your ex is saying it's not suitable for children, then he should be amenable to an alternative suggestion. Mediation wuold be the next port of call if you cannot agree between yourselves.
ChildSupportLaws - 26-Jul-16 @ 12:05 PM
My ex has moved into, in his words, a grim bedsit not suitable for children'. What rights do I have as resident parent to say I do not want my 4 year old daughter sleeping there?
Concerned mum - 25-Jul-16 @ 2:58 PM
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