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Your Legal Rights as a Parent

By: Anna Martin - Updated: 11 Jul 2019 | comments*Discuss
 
Parent Child Parent With Care Non

Losing full-time contact with a child is a difficult and painful outcome of any separation or divorce. The parent who retains day-to-day care of the child may not experience as much separation anxiety as the non resident parent, but they will however become more financially minded.

Maintenance payments from the non resident parent will help ease the financial pressure of raising a child, but unless parents agree to shared care or regular access and visits there may be other problems to overcome too.

Parenting Plan

A custody court order will include a parenting plan or visitation schedule which parents must adhere to. This plan is more likely to affect, and/or restrict, the non resident parent, particularly if the parents are not able to communicate effectively. Understanding and accepting that there will be imposed changes that will affect a non resident parent’s relationship with their child in some way, may enable the parent to consider expressing views openly prior to the custody order being finalised.

Many parents are able to make private arrangements that put the child’s rights and needs first. Joint custody or shared care will enable both parents to have regular contact with their child, and to contribute equally to the emotional, physical and financial aspects of child raising.

Making Modifications

A non resident parent may have a court order but may still experience problems enforcing it. Being flexible about re-arranging a visit keeps communication open. However, the parent with care must acknowledge the non resident parent’s rights.

If problems persist, threatening to withhold child support is not a good idea. If a parent has to go to court to enforce visitation any threats to stop child support payments will be held against them. Modifying maintenance is only acceptable if the parent with care has an increase in income whilst the non resident parent’s income has decreased, or a parent’s expenses have increased considerably through illness etc.

Parent And Child Rights

On the whole, the law allows parents to bring up their children in accordance with their own beliefs and values. This gives parents the right to make decisions about the child’s upbringing, provided the child’s well-being is never put at risk. Parents must accept that wanting their own way however, is not the same thing as exercising a right. Although parents have the right to set limits they do not have the right to enforce views.

A parent has the right to determine their child’s name, religion, form of education and healthcare. They also have the right to accompany the child outside the UK and agree on emigration issues. Parents who have a joint custody agreement share rights and parental responsibilities. If the child’s parents are divorced, however, the mother generally has charge of parental responsibility, although the father’s opinions can be expressed and documented.

A child’s rights state that a parent must ensure their child is safe from harm, has somewhere to live, has food, clothing, medical care and education and is financially supported.

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My husband has a child with his ex who he has been heavily involved with. He has his daughter fortnightly which works fine. We both work full time and his ex is trying to impose that he has him during school holidays holiday/unpaid leave, when his ex only works part time 2 days. We feel this is unreasonable as she receives maintenance which she can use for nursery fees. We are also wanting to move towns so this will be incredibly difficult. Obviously he wants to see his child but it feels unreasonable to expect this when we both work full time trying to earn a living and support his daughter financially. Does anyone have any advice?
Smithy69 - 11-Jul-19 @ 12:30 PM
Hey. So me and my ex split up Christmas 2017, we have a daughter together, she's 2 and a half. When we were together, what I didn't know was that he was on drugs, I actually told him on our first date how much I hate drugs and would never e with someone who took them (all the while, he did do them and was addicted and I had no clue) it eventfully came out a month after our daughter was born, I kicked him out, his family got him help because he was so addicted, he was going to meetings, then he stopped going and said he didn't need them and had stopped, stupid me believed him.. anyway, when we split we came up with an arrangement between ourselves that he would have our daughter overnight Friday one week and overnight Saturday the next.. I then found out he'd been taking drugs again, I messaged his step mum (we get on really well) and she said his dad was going to drug test him st work, a few days later she messaged to let me know he'd passed it, so obviously I was happy. Turn out he'd taken somebody else's pee in a water balloon and that's the reason he passed. I later found out he was smoking weed at the back door whilst our daughter was in the living room (about 3 feet away), so the whole house was smelling of weed, he was then laying g on the sofa stones, with his headphones in whilst our daughter was crying asking for juice. I hadn't to stop him from seeing her on his own because I just don't trust him. He still sees her every weekend when she goes to his dad and step mums. In January, he messaged me and threatened me with social services because our daughter wasn't potty trained at the time and he didn't think it was right and then he said he was taking me to court.. he didn't none of those things. I then did t hear from him until last week about sorting arrangements again. Our daughter won't go near him, he never bonded with her when she was a baby, would rather be all over me, did no night feed and change do maybe 4 nappies in the 15 months of her life that we were together for! I know he won't stop the drugs, he enjoys them too much, as do all of his friends. He stopped paying child maintenance in January because he said he wouldn't pay until I let him have her as usual again, so I went through child maintenance, he lied about his wage to them. He made his first payment st the beginning of last month but hasn't bothered to pay this months that was due over a week ago. I don't know what to do.. I'm not the type of person that would keep a child from their father for no reason, but I'm worried for my child's safety when she's there. I shouldn't have to be up all night worried sick when she's saying at his house. He no longer wants to go to court, he'd rather make arrangements between us, because he knows how much of an idiot he's been. My question is, what can I do? Can I stop him from having her overnight? Like he could jst have her through the day and bring her home beforehand bedtime, I can't put my daughter in
SJ - 8-May-19 @ 10:27 PM
Please can you provide advice. My son has a residence order and the mother has a contact order. Recently we have had concerns that the child is being emotionally abused by the mother and she has been put on a Child in need plan while concerns are investigated. Last week CSC informed my son he cannot allow the mother any unsupervised contact due to a professional providing advice which substantiated our concerns. The mother has asked that my son is not given details. Is this legal as how can my son safeguard his daughter if he doesn't know what to look for.
LOLLY - 15-Mar-19 @ 9:32 PM
I have 3 older teenage daughters, who were living with me until the divorce and sharing of assets was finalised through the family court.My youngest who was 13 broke my heart when she came home one day after a weekend with her dad, told me she hated me and wanted to live with him.Since then she has only met me shopping, has told me she has been self harming, is seeing a counsellor and tried to take an overdose and ended up in a unit, which her dad failed to tell me about at the time.I was severely depressed, had been signed off work for a time and my relationship with her is awfully difficult for me and I imagine her. In the divorce settlement his pension would amount to over £1,000,000 of which I had a 34% share of which even the financial adviser I sought investment advice from had to get a 2nd opinion as she couldn't believe that he was planning to retire early and making plans for himself with it already. He had kept his earnings and pension from me all those years, which I felt such an idiot and I received 97% of the family home which we had to sell, so I could afford a place to live and a pension.I had been the parent who gave up work and childminded from home and took other jobs.He fought hard against me receiving anything but the courts decision was a departure from equality whatever grounds they had decided. However, despite the fact that he is on a high income of around £100,000, has a new wife with a high salary and rents a house with en suite bathrooms which he decided to buy to accommodate our daughters, he went through court to take £200 a month from me in child maintenance.I am in childcare employment and my monthly income is £850 a month, of which now I am living on £650.I am struggling to meet all my bills, but luckily have no rent or mortgage.I don't afford birthdays or xmases now.. I am searching for other employment but my self esteem is pretty flipping low and I am probably not coming across very well in interviews. Child maintenance people are awful to speak to and just lay on the law down the phone about anyone being able to apply and receive.Surely there must be something that would be based on his earnings and mine that would say I can't actually live properly on this arrangement, let alone have a relationship with any of my children. Do you have ANY advice or suggestions as to what I can do without being made to feel like some soul destroying non-supportive parent who doesn't mind about the money side of my children having things, but it doesn't seem right I can't have a proper, caring mum/daughter relationship without the vindictiveness of her dad.This is the reason he is doing it to me, is because he resented that I was entitled to what I received in court.He wanted his million and for me to receive nothing, and he obviously finds this empowering to him.
Mothership - 25-Jan-19 @ 3:52 AM
Further to my last comment my daughter has taken this court and caffcass said in the initial interview that the social services will have to give a reason why they took my grandson off his mother. We went to the first court meeting and true to form caffcass say the case will be left with the social services and caffcass will not be involved. My granddaughters paternal grandfather hurt her and it was reported to the police and guess what social services do not think that this is a section 37 matter. On the 16th November I rang my GP to see if my granddaughters medication had been picked up because she was still no better ,no energy ,low moods and always asleep to be told that her prescription for the 10th October was still sat in the surgery. My daughter reported this to the social worker her reply was ITS NOT MY JOB TO MAKE SURE THET ARE GIVING HER THE MEDICATION. On the 19th November I was in the dentist the same dentist as my granddaughters uses my daughter text her ex to remind him he needed to take there daughter to the dentist later that day he said OK. While we were stood at the reception the grandmother rang and cancelled the appointment her excuse was she did not want to go with her mother SHE WAS NOT GOING WITH HER MOTHER HER FATHER WAS TAKING HER. Reported this to social worker her reply was its not place to make sure she goes to dentist my granddaughters teeth are in a mess and still she has not seen a dentist. I made a formal complaint and pointed out this was neglect and abuse and guess what happened they completely ignored me . Caffcass told me to chase this complaint up and they completely ignored me again so I rang and they put the phone down on me. In a core meeting they were going to vote to degrade my granddaughters to a child in need when I brought up these serious allegations and they all decided to keep her on the protection order which now they deny happened which I have in black and white. The chair of the meeting said there needed to be a section 37 but the social worker will not authorise it. This social worker sat in my daughters house and admitted that the children's father and grandmother were abusing the children and that is why it was good we had brought it to court. They took my grandson for no reason and still to this day no one can tell us why so don't anyone tell me there is more to it that this Rotherham Social services are corrupt.
Reyna - 15-Jan-19 @ 6:56 PM
My little boy is 3years old, I left his farther when he was 3 months old. He has always been able to see my little boy whenever her likes. Once a week or three times a week whatever suits him. Last weekend he has decided he wanted to go to court and see my little boy through court. It makes no sense to me why he would want to drag us to court when he is able to see my little boy.I’m wonderig where do I start because I know the farther won’t ring and won’t start anything.
Shahh - 15-Nov-18 @ 9:02 AM
I am now divorced with 3 lovely boys. I pay well over the minimum maintenance required by law And make sure they dont go without. However my ex wife has now decided that the boys will not be coming with their overnight bag of clothes to wear(every other weekend) as she thinks i should have a wardrobe each for them at my house. Surely this is wrong. Any advice please.
Pencoed dad - 14-Nov-18 @ 7:05 PM
Hi my 8 year old daughter goes to see her dad once a fortnight she only goes sat dinner to Sunday afternoon! She used to go longer but would ring me up crying wanting to come home! This is getting worse she went this weekend and only lasted a couple of hours this weekend was first time in about 8 weeks she had been! My ex is depressed and not coping well according to his mum and he always shouts at my daughter which she doesn’t like and he knows this! I don’t feel that he is stable which is concerning to me and my daughter doesn’t want to go she keeps saying is it right In keeping her away and not have contact can I do this by law ? I feel like I have to safeguard her
Juk - 12-Nov-18 @ 9:14 PM
Hi i need some advice.My sister in law had had a bad relationship with her ex but has never stopped her 8year old daughter seeing him. H9w ever he has never really bothered and when he does her daughter said he always shouts and makes her look after her little brother from another relationship of his.My sister in law found out he deals drive and yes tried to take his own life.She has tried everything but he even tried to force feed his daughter and now she doesn't want to go there.He hasn't bothered for many months and decided to go through courts.They had only one mediation.Can her daughter's say be enough.Her daughter has epilepsy and the thought of seeing her dad is stressing her out and making her have seizures.Thabks
Cofor friend - 11-Oct-18 @ 12:16 PM
My brother is having a baby due end of this month but his girlfriend has left him she is shycotic (hereditary) was on medication for it before she fell pregnant also sees someone for it so it a medical condition but she had turned round and told him he's not seeing the baby but he's also not allowed to do anything or she goes off on one but then the next thing she's saying there's a chance they could sort things out then changing her mind again she's also saying he won't get his name on the birth certificate and the baby won't have his surname, is there anything he can do?
Millie - 9-Oct-18 @ 4:27 PM
You say social services don't take children off a parent without good reason I am telling that is exactly what they have done baring in mind this is Rotherham social services who allowed 1500 children to be raped . I have sought legal advice and the law is on our side because this whole mess has been influenced by a higher power mates doing mates favours.
Reyna - 4-Sep-18 @ 10:45 AM
My comment is true there is no more to it than what I am telling you. The grandmother has not been diagnosed as a sociopath but shows all the signs. The children have been told by her if they go to live with there mum she is going to give all there belongings to there cousin which has turned them against thete cousin.She refused to let my daughter take her to the doctors when she was clearly ill and the grandfather said she had been ill for sometime and they did nothing.My grandaughter has said she sometimes sleeps in her clothes her teeth are green and she allows her to have a dummy at 12 . The children are not allowed out of the house when they come home from school. She was seen taking mail out of my daughters mail box at the time we thought it was for her son but turned out to be 3 mediation appointments. She put an app on my grandaughter phone to intercept my daughters messages to her daughters. My grandaughter would not show her grandmother a pot she had made saying her nan would smash it. She told my grandson if he did not go across to his mother's she would buy him Fortnite credit. My daughters tyres have been slashed so she cannot take them to school. My daughters TV arial has been cut do theres no TV for the kids. The kids have both said the SW is lying about what they have said. They said both kids were withdrawn there GP has spoken to SW and told her my grandson is not withdrawn that he is a happy healthy little boy but my grandaughter clearly is. SW know all this and yet no one has acted on this. My grandchildren are allowed to live with there mum now as the evidence has been proven wrong. So who is pulling the Strings of the social services and this is only a small portion of what they have done there are far worse incidents.
Reyna - 3-Sep-18 @ 3:59 PM
Duffy - Your Question:
My ex husband had since Sept 2017 room to have our daughter overnight which he never asked for.We are moving away to which ex husband gave his consent for. A contact schedule has been put into place at mediation which he also agreed to.We are now moving within the next few days and just got a letter from his solicitor saying that ex expect our daughter to stay with overnight in about 6 weeks time. That is a letter I got 3 days after our daughter ( 11 1/2) told him that she doesn't want to stay overnight at his. she is now getting upset thinking that when she sees him next he won't bring her back.I do get I can't force her and neither can he. I guess the only options would be for him to go to court. I accept and so is our daughter that over night will happen at some point but she doesn't feel ready for it yet with a new home new school to get use to. Is there anything I can do to help our daughter? If goung to court what likely the outcome could be ? Would she be listen to? We have been separated 2 1/2 years. In that time he never asked for overnight and he choose to see our daughter 8 hrs a weeks.

Our Response:
As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the child in question. The court will always put the child’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order. We cannot predict what a court will decide, but your daughter will be asked her opinion at age 11.
ChildSupportLaws - 3-Sep-18 @ 3:08 PM
My ex husband had since Sept 2017 room to have our daughter overnight which he never asked for. We are moving away to which ex husband gave his consent for. A contact schedule has been put into place at mediation which he also agreed to. We are now moving within the next few days and just got a letter from his solicitor saying that ex expect our daughter to stay with overnight in about 6 weeks time. That is a letter i got 3 days after our daughter ( 11 1/2) told him that she doesn't want to stay overnight at his.. she is now getting upset thinking that when she sees him next he won't bring her back... I do get i can't force her and neither can he.. I guess the only options would be for him to go to court. I accept and so is our daughter that over night will happen at some point but she doesn't feel ready for it yet with a new home new school to get use to.. Is there anything I can do to help our daughter? If goung to court what likely the outcome could be ? Would she be listen to? We have been separated 2 1/2 years. In that time he never asked for overnight and he choose to see our daughter 8 hrs a weeks..
Duffy - 31-Aug-18 @ 9:25 PM
Hi. My child’s father is withholding his passport from me unless I pay a specified amount. We have a court order I. Place which states it is to be shared but he’s refusing to give it to me unless I pay. He’s stopped paying child maintenance and what worries me if I pay I could be in the same position for the next 5 years. Is there another way to get it without going to court. I am emotionally drained from my ex husband he loves all the drama. Thank you
Wonder - 21-Aug-18 @ 4:49 PM
On 31st July 2018 2 social service workers visited me at my partners home after a home check advised my 2 son's age 4 and 7 were to remain with me as there mothers home was unfit for them to return to after I had supplied them with photographic evidence the week before.on 3rd August I took out a emergency residence order which was granted and my ex got to see the boys at her father x3 days a week for 6 hrs. Social services then kept assuring me that boys were happy and content living with me and when before the residence order was in place seen 1st hand both my son's reactions when suggested they were to stay at my ex's father's with her which has inadequatespace for 3 extra people to stay, was brushed aside and at court on 20th August 2018 social services with there new manager who is only 5 days in her role as manager and doesn't know the case thinks it's right to state to the court that both kids should return to my ex's home when they still have concerns reference her mental health also that the house can return to condition it was which caused them to place both kids with me . I strongly believe there is discrimination in social services behalf as they have not assessed me at length but are willing to put my kids at risk they gave my ex 3 weeks to get her home in a acceptable condition . When they done home visits they were quick enough to bring up any concerns she made but not willing to listen to my concerns ie my ex's new partners drug habits delaying having a police check completed on him. any advise on this matter would be greatly appreciated
Do Ron - 21-Aug-18 @ 5:53 AM
Reyna - Your Question:
My daughter is involved with social services her two children have been given to the grandmother who is a sociopath. The case against my daughter is fabricated and under an investigation my daughters ex has family who are high up in the council services and are influencing the situation. My daughter lives directly across from her ex mother and her situation is unbearable. No one has given us an explanation as to why the children were sent there we had just come back from a 4 day holiday. My granddaughter has lived most of the time at her grandmothers because she only lives across the road. My daughter has not signed nothing to allow her children to live there and there is no court order. The children's father no longer lives there he has moved out to be with his girlfriend. My daughter may have got another house does she have the right to take both her children to live in the new house which is not far away from school the children go to.

Our Response:
Unfortunately, I cannot answer your question as there must be more to this matter than what you say. Social services only remove children from the resident-parent if there is good reason or a serious incident has taken place. Has the grandmother been diagnosed as a sociopath by her GP? If so, it is unlikely social services would put children in someone's care with this diagnosis. Your daughter would have to seek professional legal advice in order to explore her options. The Citizens Advice Bureau should be able to help with direct advice and guidance.
ChildSupportLaws - 10-Aug-18 @ 9:51 AM
My daughter is involved with social services her two children have been given to the grandmother who is a sociopath . The case against my daughter is fabricated and under an investigation my daughters ex has family who are high up in the council services and are influencing the situation. My daughter lives directly across from her ex mother and her situation is unbearable. No one has given us an explanation as to why the children were sent there we had just come back from a 4 day holiday. My granddaughter has lived most of the time at her grandmothers because she only lives across the road . My daughter has not signed nothing to allow her children to live there and there is no court order. The children's father no longer lives there he has moved out to be with his girlfriend . My daughter may have got another house does she have the right to take both her children to live in the new house which is not far away from school the children go to.
Reyna - 9-Aug-18 @ 1:50 AM
Nena - Your Question:
My son father refuses to tell me when and with who he takes my son too. He only has him once a week and that one day he has him he refuses to communicate my sons where abouts. What are my rights in this situation. Please help

Our Response:
Unfortunately, your only option is to try to solve the matter between you, use mediation or apply to court as there is no specific rule stating your ex has to give you this information. If he has parental responsibility of yours/his child then it is deemd he will accordingly act responsibly and take care of your child.
ChildSupportLaws - 3-Aug-18 @ 12:24 PM
My son fatherrefuses to tell me when and with who he takes my son too . He only has him once a week and that one day he has him he refuses to communicate my sons where abouts. What are my rights in this situation.Please help
Nena - 2-Aug-18 @ 2:10 AM
After advise my two kids live with me the father have done for three years.they see there mum twice a week and stop over on her days off.we have a court day so we can have it in writing it will be two nights a week but in September three nights when she has arrived going to reduce hours.my solicitor has drawn up an agreement for court too which she has agreed before court.now saying wants three this week here and there and as there is no court order yet she can.what do I do as no structure
Dave - 3-Jul-18 @ 1:37 PM
Georgie - Your Question:
Hi I am after some advise I have two children with my ex age 7 and 12, I have never stopped contact and never made things hard for him but two years on and the changing of contact is getting ridiculous and more frequent it is not good for my children as he makes out it’s all my fault (I have everything in writing so can prove it’s him that’s changed these arrangements) over the last two years he has gone from have them 3/4 time a week to having them from 5.30 on a Thursday eve to 5.30 on a Friday morning the arrangement was he’d pick them up from my house or my parents if I was working (I work most Thursday evenings as it’s good to work while kids are not there) he’s been picking them up from my parents house for the past 8 weeks if not longer and tonight decides he can’t do this (he drives and we all live In The same town so has no valid reason why he can’t just he can’t) I have said I’m not going to be dictated to anymore the arrangement is in place and that’s how it’s staying so he’s not seeing his kids this week where do I stand? Am I ok to be firm at this point and the arrangement stays the same? The contact has been changed approx 8/10 times over the last two years and it’s jist ridiculous there’s no need for it for the children’s sake more than anything thanks in advance

Our Response:
In a situation such as this, if you cannot agree then mediation is the next option to consider in order to come to a regular and consistent agreement.
ChildSupportLaws - 22-Jun-18 @ 11:34 AM
Hi I am after some advise I have two children with my ex age 7 and 12, I have never stopped contact and never made things hard for him but two years on and the changing of contact is getting ridiculous and more frequent it is not good for my children as he makes out it’s all my fault (I have everything in writing so can prove it’s him that’s changed these arrangements) over the last two years he has gone from have them 3/4 time a week to having them from 5.30 on a Thursday eve to 5.30 on a Friday morning the arrangement was he’d pick them up from my house or my parents if I was working (I work most Thursday evenings as it’s good to work while kids are not there) he’s been picking them up from my parents house for the past 8 weeks if not longer and tonight decides he can’t do this (he drives and we all live In The same town so has no valid reason why he can’t just he can’t) I have said I’m not going to be dictated to anymore the arrangement is in place and that’s how it’s staying so he’s not seeing his kids this week where do I stand? Am I ok to be firm at this point and the arrangement stays the same? The contact has been changed approx 8/10 times over the last two years and it’s jist ridiculous there’s no need for it for the children’s sake more than anything thanks in advance
Georgie - 21-Jun-18 @ 6:15 PM
Hello, I have my son stay over for two nights a week once during the week and once during the weekend. I would love to have him more but due to having other children at home and work commitments I am unable to do so. My ex wants me to help her during the holidays or to pay for her childcare so that she can work. I have looked at the csa calculater and I'm already paying her more than I should be. She's basically saying that she needs more help and that if I don't give it to her she's going to take me to court and I'll be forced to have my child more in the holidays and pay more money. Can she do this? I work full time and have 2 other children if I could help more I would. I was only having him once a week and I've already helped by increasing my time to include a week day as well.
Philip - 9-Jun-18 @ 6:15 AM
Hello, I have a child with my ex partner who is trying to exercise his wishes as rights. My daughter is 6months and I’m still trying to get her into routine. My ex partner is demanding that she stay with him a few days and I don’t think this is right at this point as disrupting her routine has a very bad impact on her. I’m trying to get him to spend time to learn her routine but he feels that parental responsibility gives him the right to have her. I have never stopped him from seeing her but he likes to come late at night when it disrupts her routine. Is he allowed to do this ? As she stays with me, I can tell him it’s not right ?
Revans - 8-Jun-18 @ 12:57 PM
Scared father- Your Question:
Hi can anyone help I’m a single father of a five-year-old daughter in 2015 I obtained prohibited steps order against my wife from removing my daughter from my care in 2016 I obtained a child arrangements order that my daughter remain living with me and the order states that the mother can have contact once a month for five hours unsupervised and one video phone call every Saturday however since the order was made the mother has missed 2/3 of direct contact and 1/2 all video calls then in January 2017 the mother informed me that she was pregnant and would not be intending to make contact until sometime in 2018 Until after her pregnancy she has now contacted me stating that she wants to re-establish contact with her daughter and that she wants her daughter to live with her on a permanent basis me and my daughter live in London and my wife lives in Manchester she has had no contact for over year with her daughter and barely any in the last three years since our separation she did not attend court or social services hearings and did not engage with Cafcass however I am scared because my wife’s New partner has as a larger property and finances and they are claiming because they Are a family unit they can provide my daughter with a better future I am a British citizen so is my daughter my wife is not I have a large family support network and will establish and my wife has no family in the country they are threatening to take court action against me can anyone please give me some advice I have represented myself in the previous hearings and cannot afford a lawyer but I’m desperate for help

Our Response:
A court will not take a child away from one parent and hand the child to another for no good reason. The acquisition of finance or property doesn't determine a good reason. You have a residency order through the court, so it is highly unlikely a court would change this and hand your daughter to a parent she barely knows. Consistency and stability are what the courts view as more important and it has been you as the resident parent who has offered this. You may wish to join our Separated Dads forum if you would like further advice if you are self-litigating, as many of the advisers have been through the court process before and can give good advice. I hope this helps.
ChildSupportLaws - 11-May-18 @ 3:42 PM
Hi cananyone help I’m a single father of a five-year-old daughter in 2015 I obtainedprohibitedsteps order against my wife from removing my daughter from my care in 2016 I obtained a child arrangements order that my daughter remain living with me and the order states that the mother can have contact once a month for five hours unsupervised and one video phone call every Saturdayhowever since the order was made the mother has missed 2/3of direct contact and 1/2all video callsthen in January 2017 the mother informed me that she was pregnant and would not be intending to make contact until sometime in 2018 Until after her pregnancyshe has now contacted me stating that she wants to re-establish contact with her daughter and that she wants her daughter to live with her on a permanent basis me and my daughter live in London andmy wife lives in Manchester she has had no contact for over year with her daughter and barely any in the last three years since our separation she did not attend court or social services hearings and did not engage with Cafcasshowever I am scared because my wife’s New partner hasas a larger property and finances and they are claiming because they Are a family unit they can provide my daughter with a better future i am a British citizen so is my daughter my wife is notI have a large family support network and will establish and my wife has no family in the country they arethreatening to take court action against mecan anyone please give me some advice I have represented myself in the previous hearings and cannot afford a lawyer but I’m desperate for help
Scared father - 10-May-18 @ 8:59 PM
Hi, I split from an unhealthy mentally abusive partner 3 years ago. He is a functioning alcoholic and I believe he has underlying mental issues aswell. We have an epileptic litllle one who also is on the autism spectrum with developmental delay. My ex has had nothing to do with my little one although I’ve tried to enforce contact. For 3 years he has continued the mental abuse a regularly stalks me. I’ve begged for help with my son begged for him to attend appointments but he refuses unless I sleep with him. I’ve now resorted to mediation as I’ve offered contact every Sunday afternoon but he wants contact fortnightly or as and when he wants. This is no good for my son.. recently I’ve blocked him contacting me so he has decided to start contacting my sons school and other agencies my son attends this is un Nervi gets me as he has never had any interest and seems to be doing it to get to me .. can I have this stopped as he refuses any contact and has not seen my son for over a year although contact has always been offered..
Vix - 2-May-18 @ 10:07 AM
Hi, I split from an unhealthy mentally abusive partner 3 years ago. He is a functioning alcoholic and I believe he has underlying mental issues aswell. We have an epileptic litllle one who also is on the autism spectrum with developmental delay. My ex has had nothing to do with my little one although I’ve tried to enforce contact. For 3 years he has continued the mental abuse a regularly stalks me. I’ve begged for help with my son begged for him to attend appointments but he refuses unless I sleep with him. I’ve now resorted to mediation as I’ve offered contact every Sunday afternoon but he wants contact fortnightly or as and when he wants. This is no good for my son.. recently I’ve blocked him contacting me so he has decided to start contacting my sons school and other agencies my son attends this is un Nervi gets me as he has never had any interest and seems to be doing it to get to me .. can I have this stopped as he refuses any contact and has not seen my son for over a year although contact has always been offered..
Vix - 2-May-18 @ 9:37 AM
Sophie- Your Question:
Hi, I've recently left an abusive relationship. My baby is 8 weeks old. When I fell pregnant my partner promised me he would change. The abuse entailed physical emotional verbal and in the end finicial. My ex is a functioning alcaholic and would regularly get drunk and verbally abuse me get aggressive and scare me. When we brought baby home he began to be aggressive towards me when I was holding the baby. He swore at baby held him rougly I was afraid to leave him alone with his dad.I contacted social services out of desperation to get my partner to change he has very little insight into his problem. Now that I have ended the relationship I need to keep my baby safe but I don't want to restrict access entirely I don't want to be accused of witholding access thru spite, which I'm not. Children's services have said on their report I need to consider contact to keep baby safe. He saw him for 2 hours at my mums house. But will ask for more please help I'm scared that he will take my baby to get back at me. What can I go to court and do?

Our Response:
The gov.uk link here, should tell you all you need to know about applying for a child arrangement order. If Children's Services have said you need to keep your child safe, then the courts will allow you to apply directly without having to attend mediation. If domestic violence has been an issue, you may be able to apply for Legal Aid, please see link here. It would be advisable to keep contact supervised until the court has made the order. Your ex cannot force you to do otherwise.
ChildSupportLaws - 20-Apr-18 @ 11:22 AM
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