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Your Legal Rights as a Parent

By: Anna Martin - Updated: 21 Feb 2017 | comments*Discuss
 
Parent Child Parent With Care Non

Losing full-time contact with a child is a difficult and painful outcome of any separation or divorce. The parent who retains day-to-day care of the child may not experience as much separation anxiety as the non resident parent, but they will however become more financially minded.

Maintenance payments from the non resident parent will help ease the financial pressure of raising a child, but unless parents agree to shared care or regular access and visits there may be other problems to overcome too.

Parenting Plan

A custody court order will include a parenting plan or visitation schedule which parents must adhere to. This plan is more likely to affect, and/or restrict, the non resident parent, particularly if the parents are not able to communicate effectively. Understanding and accepting that there will be imposed changes that will affect a non resident parent’s relationship with their child in some way, may enable the parent to consider expressing views openly prior to the custody order being finalised.

Many parents are able to make private arrangements that put the child’s rights and needs first. Joint custody or shared care will enable both parents to have regular contact with their child, and to contribute equally to the emotional, physical and financial aspects of child raising.

Making Modifications

A non resident parent may have a court order but may still experience problems enforcing it. Being flexible about re-arranging a visit keeps communication open. However, the parent with care must acknowledge the non resident parent’s rights.

If problems persist, threatening to withhold child support is not a good idea. If a parent has to go to court to enforce visitation any threats to stop child support payments will be held against them. Modifying maintenance is only acceptable if the parent with care has an increase in income whilst the non resident parent’s income has decreased, or a parent’s expenses have increased considerably through illness etc.

Parent And Child Rights

On the whole, the law allows parents to bring up their children in accordance with their own beliefs and values. This gives parents the right to make decisions about the child’s upbringing, provided the child’s well-being is never put at risk. Parents must accept that wanting their own way however, is not the same thing as exercising a right. Although parents have the right to set limits they do not have the right to enforce views.

A parent has the right to determine their child’s name, religion, form of education and healthcare. They also have the right to accompany the child outside the UK and agree on emigration issues. Parents who have a joint custody agreement share rights and parental responsibilities. If the child’s parents are divorced, however, the mother generally has charge of parental responsibility, although the father’s opinions can be expressed and documented.

A child’s rights state that a parent must ensure their child is safe from harm, has somewhere to live, has food, clothing, medical care and education and is financially supported.

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Blue - Your Question:
Hi me and my ex have been separated for 5 years he was horrible to me and our kids it was his turn to have the kids so I went on holiday with my new partner I have come back and he won't let me have the kids back he says he's exercise his parental responsibility please help me I don't know what to do

Our Response:
I am sorry to hear this, this is every parent's nightmare and something that happens rarely, but if it does it can be extremely stressful. If your ex has parental responsibility and he is refusing to return your children then unfortunately the police cannot intervene and return the children to you, as they cannot take sides in issues where one parent decides to exercise their parental responsibility rights. Therefore, I can only advise (which I imagine you have done by now) that you seek legal advice as you will have to apply to have your chidlren returned via court. A solicitor's letter outlining your rights, the possible repercussions of his actions and the effects on your children, may jolt him into action. However, if he still refuses to return the children then you will have to apply for an interim contact order and a child arrangement order which will determine through the courts who your children should live with. I hope the situation manages to resolve itself soon.
ChildSupportLaws - 22-Feb-17 @ 2:02 PM
@Toots - I think this means that neither parent can withold consent to take the children on holiday and if the parent does withold consent, the other parent can take the children and the police will not intervene.
AnnaY - 22-Feb-17 @ 12:35 PM
Hi me and my ex have been separated for 5 years he was horrible to me and our kids it was his turn to have the kids so I went on holiday with my new partner I have come back and he won't let me have the kids back he says he's exercise his parental responsibility please help me I don't know what to do
Blue - 21-Feb-17 @ 11:03 PM
My ex and I have a child arrangements order regarding contact arrangements for our 2 children whom reside with me. Part of the order states that each parent must obtain the others consent for an overseas holiday and each parent must not unreasonably withhold that consent. At the bottom of the child arrangement order it states that the person with whom the children reside can remove the children for a period of less than one month without the consent of the other. It seems that the order contradicts itself somewhat and its very unclear as to which part has the most weight. Can anyone help with some clarification on this matter please?
Toots - 21-Feb-17 @ 6:59 PM
Hi, I am in a situation where we have agreed shared parenting where the children spend just over half the time with their Mum and the rest with me. My situation has changed and I need to get the agreement amended so I no longer have the children for as long - it is proving impractical (particularly the school run) and I am in danger of losing my job due to childcare commitments. I have had to rent a property further away from school than their mother has been able to buy, due to financial constraints. At the moment this is a 3 bed property, but I am going to have to downsize, as this is proving too costly, especially as their Mother (who initially went to her parents for 6 months) has been able to buy a property (we had an agreement where I paid reduced maintenance for the children during the period she was living at her parents, and I stretched myself to give the children a 'proper' base while she got on her feet, now I am paying full maintenance and need to move). Can I insist that their Mother have the children for a longer period? (I acknowledge I will have to pay more child maintenance). What would happen if I had to move completely out of the area due to work? Regards
DadO - 17-Feb-17 @ 12:24 PM
Mrs smith - Your Question:
Hi.Try to cut a long story short.my ex and I separated over 10 years ago our son nearly 13 we went through a messy court case when son was 8.anyway it ended up with him having residence with me having night in week and every other weekend and half of all holidays.everything been going fine my son older now and sometimes prefers to stay with mates etc so I have to accept that.i moved away with my new partner and my other two kids (from previous) contact with my son was agreed by my ex and that due to distance I could have my son either all holidays or half.again depending on what he wanted to do at the time (my son) he come to me for a week over Xmas not a problem and arrangements were made again to have him then a week later his dad texts saying he has concerns as my son doesn't have his own room. (he shares with two others at his dads) and that he doesn't like my partner (we been together nearly two years and never had a prob until now!) My son is upset about his dads decision but is too afraid to speak up.in my eyes this is bullying he likes to feel like he's in control he won't have it that it's only hurting our son and believes he's doing the right thing! I'm a good mother my other kids are happy and safe there is no reason he should be doing this! What can I do he's clearly breaking court order!

Our Response:
I'm afraid your only recourse would be to take the matter back to court. While there is a court order in place, a lot has changed since the original court order was issued, i.e changes where you live/ changes to the original court order etc. If your ex does not agree with the set-up at your new home and refuses to let your son visit, then you have no alternative than to either request your ex attends mediation in order to try to resolve the issues outide court and/or if he refuses, apply back to court to get the order enforced/varied.
ChildSupportLaws - 14-Feb-17 @ 11:18 AM
K-Koselka - Your Question:
Hi just wondering how Me and my fiancé go about getting custody of our daughters back. My fiancés mother has got custody until they are 18 and won't allow the girls to see or even speak to us but we have had contact through snapchat secretly and FaceTime as they are 11 and 9 and disclosing to us that thier grandmother is physically abusing them and telling them basically that they are better off without us so severe emotional harm too,we have had social services involved as the girls are texting us saying 'please come get us we don't wanna be her' but they won't disclose this to social services and the social worker has said if their grandmother thinks it's best for them not to have contact that's the end of it! The social services won't even look at a USB we have with all evidence of texts and pictures and videos of the girls discussing what's going on at home! Please can someone help us by telling us how to get them back as the girls won't open up and the social just think they are telling us what we want to hear! Please help x

Our Response:
Your only recourse is to take legal advice to see if you have a case. Much depends upon what the original court order specifies. If it specifies the children are to have no contact with you, then this is not their grandparent's decision, but the courts. Plus, you will be in breach of that order if you have contact with the children, and there could be serious repercussions for you. If the court order specified you should have some contact and your children's grandparent is denying you contact against the court order, then you will have a case to take the matter back to court (for contact at least). However, regardless of what your children are saying to you directly - the court will always decide upon what it thinks is in the best interests of your children. If the court has decided you should not have custody of your own children, there must have been a very good reason that made the courts come to this decision. Taking children away from their parents is rare, so getting this decision overturned would not be easy.
ChildSupportLaws - 14-Feb-17 @ 11:09 AM
Hi. Try to cut a long story short...my ex and I separated over 10 years ago our son nearly 13we went through a messy court case when son was 8..anyway it ended up with him having residence with me having night in week and every other weekend and half of all holidays.everything been going fine my son older now and sometimes prefers to stay with mates etc so I have to accept that.i moved away with my new partner and my other two kids (from previous) contact with my son was agreed by my ex andthat due to distance i could have my son either all holidays or half..again depending on what he wanted to do at the time (my son) he come to me for a week over Xmas not a problem and arrangements were made again to have him then a week later his dad texts saying he has concerns as my son doesn't have his own room.. (he shares with two others at his dads) and that he doesn't like my partner (we been together nearly two years and never had a prob until now!) My son is upset about his dads decision but is too afraid to speak up...in my eyes this is bullying he likes to feel like he's in control he won't have it that it's only hurting our son and believes he's doing the right thing! I'm a good mother my other kids are happy and safe there is no reason he should be doing this! What can I do he's clearly breaking court order!
Mrs smith - 13-Feb-17 @ 12:28 PM
Hi just wondering how Me and my fiancé go about getting custody of our daughters back. My fiancés mother has got custody until they are 18 and won't allow the girls to see or even speak to us but we have had contact through snapchat secretly and FaceTime as they are 11 and 9 and disclosing to us that thier grandmother is physically abusing them and telling them basically that they are better off without us so severe emotional harm too,we have had social services involved as the girls are texting us saying 'please come get us we don't wanna be her' but they won't disclose this to social services and the social worker has said if their grandmother thinks it's best for them not to have contact that's the end of it! The social services won't even look at a USB we have with all evidence of texts and pictures and videos of the girls discussing what's going on at home! Please can someone help us by telling us how to get them back as the girls won't open up and the social just think they are telling us what we want to hear! Please help x
K-Koselka - 13-Feb-17 @ 11:39 AM
Misi - Your Question:
Hi,my husband left the house 3 days ago and want to meet a child I have no problem if he will proceed through a court and meet a child but the problem is I don't want to see him again in my life because when he was with me he abuse me and hit me and I always try to make tie up my family I don't want to give my child a plot life but 2nd time he left me so again again I can't take emotionally stress its effect on my health so how it's possible I can't see him again but still he can meet with a child Thanks

Our Response:
You could either request via your solicitor that your ex instructs a third party to pick up and drop off your son. Or you could arrange for a family member to be there when your ex calls to pick up your child. Another alternative would be for your ex to pick him up and drop him back at school if he has your child overnight. If you are still only going through the early days of making arrangements, then this can be arranged via mediation. If your ex applies to court, the courts will want you both to have tried to resolve these issues through mediation first before your ex will be allowed to apply directly to court. If you make arrangements via mediation - then you can state your preferences and avoid the stresses of court.
ChildSupportLaws - 13-Feb-17 @ 10:30 AM
Hi,my husband left the house 3 days ago and want to meet a child I have no problem if he will proceed through a court and meet a child but the problem is I don't want to see him again in my life because when he was with me he abuse me and hit me and I always try to make tie up my family I don't want to give my child a plot life but 2nd time he left me so again again I can't take emotionally stress its effect on my health so how it's possible I can't see him again but still he can meet with a child Thanks
Misi - 12-Feb-17 @ 2:51 AM
Hi just wondering how Me and my fiancé go about getting custody of our daughters back. My fiancés mother has got custody until they are 18 and won't allow the girls to see or even speak to us but we have had contact through snapchat secretly and FaceTime as they are 11 and 9 and disclosing to us that thier grandmother is physically abusing them and telling them basically that they are better off without us so severe emotional harm too,we have had social services involved as the girls are texting us saying 'please come get us we don't wanna be her' but they won't disclose this to social services and the social worker has said if their grandmother thinks it's best for them not to have contact that's the end of it! The social services won't even look at a USB we have with all evidence of texts and pictures and videos of the girls discussing what's going on at home! Please can someone help us by telling us how to get them back as the girls won't open up and the social just think they are telling us what we want to hear! Please help x
KK - 11-Feb-17 @ 8:40 PM
Hi just wondering how Me and my fiancé go about getting custody of our daughters back. My fiancés mother has got custody until they are 18 and won't allow the girls to see or even speak to us but we have had contact through snapchat secretly and FaceTime as they are 11 and 9 and disclosing to us that thier grandmother is physically abusing them and telling them basically that they are better off without us so severe emotional harm too,we have had social services involved as the girls are texting us saying 'please come get us we don't wanna be her' but they won't disclose this to social services and the social worker has said if their grandmother thinks it's best for them not to have contact that's the end of it! The social services won't even look at a USB we have with all evidence of texts and pictures and videos of the girls discussing what's going on at home! Please can someone help us by telling us how to get them back as the girls won't open up and the social just think they are telling us what we want to hear! Please help x
KJ - 11-Feb-17 @ 8:38 PM
Hi just wondering how Me and my fiancé go about getting custody of our daughters back. My fiancés mother has got custody until they are 18 and won't allow the girls to see or even speak to us but we have had contact through snapchat secretly and FaceTime as they are 11 and 9 and disclosing to us that thier grandmother is physically abusing them and telling them basically that they are better off without us so severe emotional harm too,we have had social services involved as the girls are texting us saying 'please come get us we don't wanna be her' but they won't disclose this to social services and the social worker has said if their grandmother thinks it's best for them not to have contact that's the end of it! The social services won't even look at a USB we have with all evidence of texts and pictures and videos of the girls discussing what's going on at home! Please can someone help us by telling us how to get them back as the girls won't open up and the social just think they are telling us what we want to hear! Please help x
KJ - 11-Feb-17 @ 8:37 PM
I'm just wondering where I stand. Basically my daughter's dad has her every weekend from fri-sun and I have her all during the week. I've said I feel I miss out on quality time with her and said he can still have her every weekend but i get her first thing on a Sunday one weekend and maybe one Saturday out the month I get her home to have some time with her. I've offered for him to see her anytime during the week but he won't. He's got very angry and said I have more than enough time with her but time during the week isn't quality time. You get in from school, do homework, prepare tea and then it's bed. No us time. I'm trying to be fair but he isn't. I've also asked him how much he roughly earns as he only pays me 100 a month for her and he angrily said 'you get enough from me'. It's not money for me, it's to provide for his daughter. I'm not a mean personand hate confrontation and, if I'm honest, I'm scared of him and my current partner says I let him walk all over me. I know my daughter wants to have some us time at the weekends too. Can you help please? Thanks.
Nicki30 - 11-Feb-17 @ 2:53 PM
Mo - Your Question:
Hi,My wife's ex husband is taking there son on holiday for one week. He has since stated that he will not be paying his £200 maintenance monies for the month to subsidise this weeks holiday. This is now, essentially, my wife funding this holiday.Can he do this?

Our Response:
Much depends upon whether this is a family-based child maintenance arrangement or a CMS one. If it is the former, with no agency intervention, then they will have to sort the matter out between themselves. If the child maintenance is sorted out through the CMS, then payment is worked out on an average throughout the year. Therefore, your wife's ex husband will still be expected to pay regardless of whether he has him for the week or not.
ChildSupportLaws - 9-Feb-17 @ 12:31 PM
Hi, My wife's ex husband is taking there son on holiday for one week. He has since stated that he will not be paying his £200 maintenance monies for the month to subsidise this weeks holiday. This is now,essentially, my wife funding this holiday. Can he do this?
Mo - 8-Feb-17 @ 6:32 PM
Dad - Your Question:
Hi. My ex girlfriend wants to take my baby daughters passport off me (which I hold legally and have PR) since she has found out she cant do this she has been exceptionally nasty and also witholding my daughter from me at her council flat.I have the right to see my daughter that has been taken from me for a month but how do I excersise my right to see my daughter knowing that my ex has a violent temper and has threatened to kill my daughter if they are separated? Ps child service have a case on her but have been very unhelpful and I understand that a contact order may not be enforced

Our Response:
If you have a contact order in place, then unless there is a good reason why the order would not be enforced, then you would need to take the matter back to court. Sometime's a solicitor's letter outlining your rights and the seriousness of breaching the order may help.
ChildSupportLaws - 6-Feb-17 @ 11:37 AM
Hi. My ex girlfriend wants to take my baby daughters passport off me (which i hold legally and have PR) since she has found out she cant do this she has been exceptionally nasty and also witholding my daughter from me at her council flat. I have the right to see my daughter that has been taken from me for a month but how do i excersise my right to see my daughter knowing that my ex has a violent temper and has threatened to kill my daughter if they are separated? Ps child service have a case on her but have been very unhelpful and i understand that a contact order may not be enforced
Dad - 5-Feb-17 @ 3:46 PM
Hi,I want to ask you about my sister problem! She have to girls with a man that she is not married,my sister it's european citizen,her partner is uk citizen,her grand dougther is non U.K citizen but the small dougther is uk citizen and her partner is in the bought born certificate of the girls,I want to ask because my sister wants to go home in our country(Romania) but it's separate of this person,in what condition she can travel home with the girls without him!thanks
Johny - 3-Feb-17 @ 8:15 PM
Hi I need some help my partner and I have he's son every weekend we get him from school on a Friday and drop him home on a Sunday at 5 we both are in full time work so we get tired and we are having a baby that's due to come in the next 2 months we have chatted to my partner ex and said we will start having he son every other weekend now and on s Wednesday she said no to that she was us to have him every weekend she is now saying that if we only have him every other weekend and Wednesday then she wants us to give her money my partner is not on the birth cir and she will not put him on it so I don't know if we have to pay her
Bob123 - 3-Feb-17 @ 9:01 AM
My boyfriends ex decided he wasn't allowed to see his daughter tonight because she had been behaving badly and this was her punishment as if seeing her father is a privilege there is no contact agreement in place but this routine had been in place for well over a year. She is the resident parent (by default not by court order so technically he could just not send them back home and no law would be broken?) and for some reason believes that she has more rights to the children such as school problems ect (she took the photos taken from a school play and told the school he wasn't allowed them) I've explained that he has parental responsibility the same as she does (the birth certificates have his name on and they were signed after dec 2003) all major matters concern him she believes he has to, in her own words "justify everything he does when she asks because she's the legal gardian" I've also informed him that she isn't a legal gardian she has parental rights the only thing he needs her permission on is to take the kids out of the country everything else is an equally shared decision that she has no greater power over. Am I correct in saying this? And what if anything can get do about her using the children not seeing him as a punishment? Surely that would be classed as alienation? He pays 25 pound per child per week as well as buying school uniforms and things on top. Also do you have a rough guide of how much it costs to get something for contact put onto paper with consequences if it's not met? Sorry for the long post :)
6517 - 2-Feb-17 @ 11:09 PM
James- Your Question:
Hi I need help. I adore my daughter and I make my regular payments each month and above, for years now I am allowed minimum rights and my daughter and I are missing out on so much together as her mother allows me no Christmas eves I'm not allowed to build memories of my child on holiday as I'm not allowed to know where's she's going, her mother's phone is only switched on the day before I have my daughter, I need help to take this to court and fight for more rights as a father to have a healthy relationship with my daughter. Pls where do I start?

Our Response:
Your only option is to suggest mediation to lengthen your access, and if she refuses; take the matter to court. You don't say how old your daughter is, if she is over 11 her opinion will also be taken on board by the courts.
ChildSupportLaws - 1-Feb-17 @ 2:10 PM
Hi I need help. I adore my daughter and I make my regular payments each month and above, for years now I am allowed minimum rights and my daughter and I are missing out on so much together as her mother allows me no Christmas eves I'm not allowed to build memories of my child on holiday as I'm not allowed to know where's she's going, her mother's phone is only switched on the day before I have my daughter,I need help to take this to court and fight for more rights as a father to have a healthy relationship with my daughter. Pls where do I start?
James - 31-Jan-17 @ 9:33 PM
Tuusakas - Your Question:
Hello. I have a question. I have a son with British man. The child was born outside UK (EU country) and the father is not on the birth certificate. Baby s father wanted me to do abortion, and was quit mentally abusing me, thats why I gave birth in my original country, but now I am back in the UK. I decided that I give another chance to father (as this seemed a fair for my baby) and his family, but now they are getting too demanding to visit a baby in their terms. The grandmother has been visiting several times, and all was fine until now when she asked about next visitation, and I just asked her to come an hour later than she has been coming every time so far. She started to accuse me stopping her seeing her grandson and threatening to take a legal actions against me. I am a little scared, as I am not British that they might want to take baby from me. Can you please tell me which country law applies in this case? and if it is UK law, then what could be the worse scenario for me? can they force me anyhow to put father on birth certificate or not? can grandmother force to let her see my child in her terms? can they anyhow stop me returning back to my country with my baby? by fact I know that father lives with family and is using actively a cannabis, and he has case against him being physically abusive towards his mother.

Our Response:
If the father is not on the birth certificate and/or if he does not have parental responsibility then your ex and his family have no rights over the child and cannot make demands upon you. You are currently free to make whatever decisions you wish. However, your ex does have the option to take the matter to court to apply for parental responsibility, in which case you would have to conform to certain rules which includes not taking the child out of the country before you have his or the court's consent.
ChildSupportLaws - 31-Jan-17 @ 1:02 PM
Hello. I have a question. I have a son with British man. The child was born outside UK (EU country) and the father is not on the birth certificate. Baby s father wanted me to do abortion, and was quit mentally abusing me, thats why i gave birth in my original country, but now i am back in the UK. I decided that I give another chance to father (as this seemed a fair for my baby) and his family, but now they are getting too demanding to visit a baby in their terms. The grandmother has been visiting several times, and all was fine until now when she asked about next visitation, and I just asked her to come an hour later than she has been coming every time so far. She started to accuse me stopping her seeing her grandson and threatening to take a legal actions against me. I am a little scared, as I am not British that they might want to take baby from me. Can you please tell me which country law applies in this case? and if it is UK law, then what could be the worse scenario for me? can they force me anyhow to put father on birth certificate or not? can grandmother force to let her see my child in her terms? can they anyhow stop me returning back to my country with my baby? by fact i know that father lives with family and is using actively a cannabis, and he has case against him being physically abusive towards his mother.
Tuusakas - 30-Jan-17 @ 10:56 PM
phil - Your Question:
Hi, my wife and I are looking to move into the country. She has two children with another man and we have one together. During the week we have all the kids and over the weekend two go over to their dad's house. They are 10 and 7 and my wife and I have a 2 year old.together. The kids dad has said he will kick up a fuss if we move away, even 30 minutes out to the county. and has slowly enrolled them into every activity under the sun, dancing, karate, swimming, brownies, boys brigade, an wants more. He pays for the activities as well as any school stuff but has never paid for the 5/6 days we have them a week. He seems to think that we can't move because he's their dad and they have so much going on in this town activity wise and he lives here and also he shouldn't pay towards their daily living during the week because he takes them to the cinema etc at the weekend. I'm not sure if he is right or if we have a leg to stand on trying to move or get help with some of the essentials that children need day to day and not just sweets and outings at the weekend.

Our Response:
If you are looking to move out of the area you currently live in and the father of your wife's children is objecting, then if he has parental responsibility your wife would have to either be given his consent or request consent through the courts via a Specific Issue Order. Specific Issue Orders, much like the name suggests, are orders sought from the family court to determine a particular matter in connection with the exercise of Parental Responsibility. These orders can cover a wide range of issues that the parents of the children cannot agree on. As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the child in question. The court will always put the child’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order. On another note, access and child maintenance are two different issues non dependent upon each other, meaning the non-resident parent does not have to pay maintenance (if not earning) in order to see his children, or to continue to be part of their lives.
ChildSupportLaws - 30-Jan-17 @ 2:03 PM
Hi, my wife and I are looking to move into the country.She has two children with another man and we have one together. During the week we have all the kids and over the weekend two go over to their dad's house.They are 10 and 7 and my wife and I have a 2 year old.together. The kids dad has said he will kick up a fuss if we move away, even 30 minutes out to the county.and has slowly enrolled them into every activity under the sun, dancing, karate, swimming, brownies, boys brigade, an wants more.He pays for the activities as well as any school stuff but has never paid for the 5/6 days we have them a week. He seems to think that we can't move because he's their dad and they have so much going on in this town activity wise and he lives here and also he shouldn't pay towards their daily living during the week because he takes them to the cinema etc at the weekend. I'm not sure if he is right or if we have a leg to stand on trying to move or get help with some of the essentials that children need day to day and not just sweets and outings at the weekend.
phil - 30-Jan-17 @ 10:16 AM
My ex doesnt want me to take my son for the weekend anymore because i have a new girlfriend, Nothing more. She says I can only see him for a couple of hours in her house. I give her money every week for him without fail and still buy him things that he needs on top of that, ive even given her money when she gets herself a parking tickets etc. Even though the money is not for our son and extra to what I should be giving her. My new girlfriend is great with him, she sits and helps him with his learning and wants nothing but the best for him without trying to be his new mum. My relationship ended with his mother years ago, but it seems as though she still cant let it go. What would my rights be in this situation? I just want to see my son.
Saddad - 28-Jan-17 @ 5:22 AM
Rainbow - Your Question:
Hi I'm in desperate need for advice, my husband had an affair which has now ended but has resulted in a baby, we already have two young kids and are trying to make things work but the baby's mum has been doing everything in power to destroy my family. My husband is trying to do the right thing but the mother is refusing to do a dna test, demanding money and putting lots of restrictions on his visitation for example me bring around with the baby and only him for pickup, drop offs and communication, I'm trying to be supportive but my husband is scared he won't get to see the baby if he doesn't do what she want and I don't think I can deal with much more stress. What are his rights?

Our Response:
If the mother is being uncooperative, then the only option your husband has is to take the matter to court for both a DNA test and access to the child. If your husband requests a DNA test through the courts, the mother would be ordered to provide a sample to allow the test to take place, please see link here. However, your husband would still be responsible for paying child maintenance until the issue is resolved either way. If the child is proved to be his, then he would also have to apply for access and parental responsibility (if he wanted a say in the child's life and if his ex refused to put his name on the birth certificate). If your husband wants the child to have access to you and the mother is objecting, he would have to apply for a specific issue order (tagged on to the C100 contact order). The courts will always decide what is in the best interests of the child and if it can see no reason why you should not be involved, then it will issue the order and the mother would also have to abide by this. I'm afraid it is a rather convoluted process and taking legal guidance is always advised - but hopefully with a bit of perserverance these issues will be resolved over a period of time.
ChildSupportLaws - 25-Jan-17 @ 2:10 PM
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