Maintenance: Separation and Divorce

Originally written by Anna Martin, updated by the editorial team on 26th August 2026

What Happens with Child Maintenance After Separation or Divorce

When a relationship ends, there are many practical matters to sort out. These include dividing property, deciding what happens to the family home, and working out shared finances. For parents, one of the main questions will be how to handle ongoing financial support for any children.

Child maintenance ensures that both parents contribute to the costs of raising their children, despite living separately.

Parental Responsibility for Financial Support

Both parents have a legal duty under UK law to support their children financially. This applies whether or not the parents were married, and regardless of how involved each parent is in day to day care.

The parent who does not live with the child will usually pay child maintenance to the parent who does. These payments help cover everyday costs: food, clothing, school expenses, activities, and a share of household bills.

In some situations, children live with someone other than a parent. This might be a grandparent, another relative, or a legal guardian. Where this is the case, maintenance can be paid to that person instead, though these arrangements often require legal recognition or a court order to establish a formal obligation.

Child Support Rights Checker

Answer a few questions about your situation and get a clear summary of your child maintenance rights and options.

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Arranging Child Maintenance

There are several ways to set up child maintenance in the UK:

A family based arrangement, where both parents agree between themselves on what will be paid and when
Using the Child Maintenance Service, a government body that can calculate, collect and enforce payments
A court order, which may be used in certain circumstances, particularly where other financial matters are being decided at the same time

Many parents prefer to reach their own agreement if communication is reasonable. This can be more flexible and avoids fees. However, the Child Maintenance Service provides a formal structure where this is not possible or where one parent is reluctant to pay.

The Child Maintenance Service offers two payment methods. Direct Pay allows the paying parent to transfer money straight to the receiving parent after the amount has been calculated. Collect and Pay means the Service handles the money, taking payment from one parent and passing it to the other, though fees apply for this option.

The amount of maintenance is usually based on the paying parent's income, the number of children, and how much time the children spend with each parent. Other factors can also affect calculations, including whether the paying parent supports other children. To check current rates and understand payment calculations, refer to the official guidance on GOV.UK.

Where a paying parent fails to meet their obligations, the Child Maintenance Service has enforcement powers. These include deducting money directly from wages or benefits, and in serious cases, taking court action.

Your situation may be slightly different. ask a question below ↓ and our editorial team will reply with our advice.

Shared Care and How It Affects Payments

The parent who has main day to day responsibility for a child is sometimes called the receiving parent. The other parent will typically make regular maintenance payments.

Where care is shared more equally, this can affect how much maintenance is due. If a child spends a significant amount of time with both parents, the payment amount may be reduced to reflect this. The Child Maintenance Service takes shared care into account when making calculations.

What counts as shared care depends on the number of nights the child stays with each parent. Small differences in arrangements can affect the amount owed, so understanding how this works is beneficial if your situation is complex.

Getting Further Help

Arranging child maintenance can be complex, particularly during challenging times. Free guidance is available from several sources. Citizens Advice offers information on your options and rights. The Child Maintenance Service can provide calculations and help collect payments if needed.

For detailed figures, eligibility rules, and step by step instructions, GOV.UK is the best place to start. If your situation involves other legal matters such as divorce proceedings or disputes over property, speaking to a family solicitor may also help.

The Next Step

Now that you have read through the advice above, you might want to put it into practice. Our Child Support Rights Checker lets you answer a few questions about your situation and get a clear summary of your child maintenance rights and options. Try it now →

98 questions

Ask Child Support Laws a Question

ChildSupportLaws Editor 26/08/2026 at 10:01 pm

@Sabs Unfortunately yes, when your child is staying with you those costs fall on you, including travel, nappies, food and clothes. Child Benefit and Child Maintenance are usually paid to the parent with main day to day care, even if you have them a good chunk of the week. If you have them roughly equal time, you can challenge the CMS decision on shared care, which reduces or removes what you'd owe. Worth ringing Citizens Advice or Gingerbread for a proper look at your situation.

Sabs 26/08/2026 at 9:23 pm

If the court says I can have my child 3 days a week but my partner claims all the money for him . Am I expected to pay taxis to pick him up & drop him back each day & supply my own nappies & clothes for him ?.

ChildSupportLaws Editor 22/05/2026 at 9:18 am

@Nick Well done on winning the tribunal, that's no small thing given how CMS operate. For a refund, write to CMS directly quoting your tribunal decision and ask them to action the repayment; if they drag their feet, escalate through their official complaints procedure and then to the Independent Case Examiner. For compensation covering distress and financial loss, you'll need to claim under their Special Payments scheme. If all that fails, your MP can refer it to the Parliamentary Ombudsman, which often shifts things quickly.

Nick 08/07/2023 at 9:39 pm

Hi there, I recently won a tribunal case against CMS. This was due to negligence and the judge found that they had taken nearly 2 years of money from me which I should not of paid due to the time I had with my children which was 50/50 shared care. They put me in financial hardship and extreme stress. Throughout the 2 years trying to resolve this with them, they would lie to me over the phone or simply just ignore my pleas for help. They still haven't contacted me with even an apology or offered to reimburse me. I now wish to make a refund and compensation claim against them and kindly ask for your guidance on how I would go about that?

Kind Regards
Nick

SadDaD 16/04/2020 at 1:52 am

I walked out of a 90% loving marriage due to depression & PTSD, at the time both of us drank alcohol & she would get violent & then I would retaliate, I am disgusted with my actions, on some occasions the police were involved & saw me in fear but I refused to give evidence, I have previous criminal convictions but nothing while we were married & I did make empty threats during the heat of arguments & called her disgusting disrespectful names on txt msg's which I sincerely apologized for & since then I have stopped drinking alcohol for nearly a year now and I have even stopped smoking tobacco and I am doing alcoholic anonymous and narcotics anonymous and I am living my new life sober & I just want to put my daughter first & what can her mother do to prevent me from getting weekend custody such as my old criminal convictions before I knew her or the fact that I support millwall football club.. or my mental health problems & can social services help secure better accommodation to help me from a dad who wants to see his daughter more & put her needs first..

LL84 24/01/2020 at 9:19 pm

My partner has two children with his ex and pays CMS according to the nights that he has them.
Now it has become apparent that when the children are staying overnight night with him the majority of the time they are staying out elsewhere with other family members and not with their mother or within their home. How is it right that she obtains the money from him when they are elsewhere? and if he had his way he'd happily have them 50/50 which provides them with the stability that they need. Is their any way of having this rectified based on them staying out elsewhere when he openly wants them yet she's refused because she will lose money, the system is wrong for so many reasons.

Jen609 06/01/2020 at 1:17 pm

Hi, I am about to divorce from my husband of 9 years. We have an 8 year old boy together. My income is 2000 a month and his is 6000 a month. We still live under the same roof. When discussing about living arrangements and one of us moving out of our home, my partner is refusing to pay any child maintenance and he has decided to have our son with him for half the week so that he does not have to financially support me. With my income, it would be very difficult to rent on my own in London. I am not sure what my rights are, I am worried that if he does not support me financially, I will not be able to rent a house for me and my son and that the court might decide that he can live permanently with his father since he is financially able to raise him. Can you offer advice?

cambridge dad 14/10/2019 at 8:53 pm

I have been brought to tears reading some of this page. i am a father of 3 beautiful girls, of whom i have not seen since 2012, due to parent alienation, by the mother. I have paid everything asked, since that time. But just like all the other letters, on this page, apparently, i owe arrears, of which the cms, cannot justify. I do feel for the parents, on the "other side of this story", with scummy ex partners, who do not pay, but i ask these people, to look into their hearts, and see how corrupt this system is, and how it is ruining, honest PAYING, parents. I lost everything in court, trying to fight for my girls, and the mother just sits back and takes, takes, takes. I have been through many breakdowns, and suffered some extremely bad, dark times, only to be rescued by my now wife. My country, and its systems, embarrass me, that a parent can commit child abuse (also known as parent alienation), against honest, loving, kind fathers, like myself, and get away with it, while i, and many others, are being ruined by the system. Good luck to all the people affected by this disgusting, corrupt system, on both sides of the story. I will not let this scummy organisation ruin me, and my wife's lives.

Rugbydad 26/06/2019 at 6:59 pm

Hi I am in the process of leaving my wife but it’s torture as I don’t want to loose my son. We have a mortgage in both our names and she says I’ll be the one to have to move out. I’m so scared of not being able to afford to live anywhere. I earn roughly £1,900 a month and she earns around £1,300. She works 3 days a week so I know she keeps saying there’s no way I’ll get 50/50. Our child nursery bills are around £500 a month. Do I have to pay maintenance and mortgage and nursery bills ? I want to provide as much as I can for my little man as I know this is a horrible choice I’m making but I need to be able to afford to live somewhere too :( any advice please. Particularly on whether I have to pay maintenance as well has mortgage etc.

Loopy 21/06/2019 at 3:33 pm

My ex always tries to get away with minimum payments, minimum time with the kids and minimum input. But we separated mutually (after he'd had several affairs) and so we both still have PR. We both work, meaning I rely on childcare, it costs me around 6000 a year. I only earn 12. Their dad warms a lot more and is remarried. I've mentioned sharing costs of childcare, as he won't help, but he said it's my. Problem and his £40 a week maintenance covers his share. Is this right?

Bongo 26/05/2019 at 3:05 pm

I've been divorced for 7 years and my ex wife has been the parent with care and I have had my two boys overnight an average of 3 nights per week constantly over this period. We have had an ongoing financial arrangement and I have payed an agreed amount each month. Recently my eldest son came to live with me full time, he is 16 and at 6th form college with no income. I also continue to have my youngest son an average of 3 nights per week. I would like to know what, if any payments I should be making to my ex wife.

George 19/04/2019 at 7:11 pm

Hi

Some advice please

I recently left my wife of 5 yrs we have two children aged 8 and 2. At present we have a joint mortgage of 1400 and bills on top etc.
Childcare costs are about £500.

My wife works earns approx 1100 a month.
I earn £3600 a month.
I have the children two nights a week.

How much should I expect to give her a month. Do I have to pay half the mortgage half the bills and pay child maintenance?

Jocarter 24/10/2018 at 2:41 pm

I left my husband after 8 months of him drinking every weekend and mentally abussing me or smashing our family home up in front of our 3 year old. He worked but never contributed towards gouse bills ir rent i done it all i then fund out he was on dating sites and swing sites when we was still living as husband and wife. He is has asked ri see his son every other sat 8to4 if i don't agree he is fighting for full custurdy an whar grounds can he do this as he has told everyone i am on drugs and my oldest boy is nuts and he dont wamt our son aroynd him. I got no fight left un my but i am so worried please help me

AJ 18/10/2018 at 4:13 pm

I separated from my ex wife 4 yrs ago and we have since divorced. We have 2 children and a house with a mortgage. The house is mine. I bought it, pay the mortgage and the deeds are all in my name. As part of the maintenance package I let her stay in the house with the kids until my youngest is 18 whilst I continue to pay the mortgage whilst I rent elsewhere and she lives in my house rent free.

Will she be entitled to anything from the house when she leaves ?

Lee 06/10/2018 at 8:43 pm

Hi my husband and I have decided to call it quits after finding out he cheated with my sister. I work part time and he takes the children to school while I do pick up. He doesn’t work and is dependent on antidepressants and weed. We live in a temporary accommodation with the tenancy in my name. His family are fighting for him to have full custody and residency. Just unsure of what my options are going forward.

ChildSupportLaws Editor 16/02/2018 at 11:21 am

I cannot predict why CMS have decided that your husband is in arrears. His only option would be to have this matter investigated

DS 15/02/2018 at 6:37 pm

My husband has been paying maintenance for his 2 children for the last 14 years, he has not missed any payments and was advised when things changed to the CMO he had to pay via collect and pay, he disagreed and they allowed him to pay half and half. Yesterday he received a letter advising he can now pay all of it via direct pay as he had not defaulted. The same day he had a letter advising him he has £650 arrears, he was also advised that he should be paying £385 per month, he actually pays £450 a month and has done for years! how could he amass arrears ? and surely if they make the calculation based on his HMRC yearly why are they now saying he is in arrears?

ChildSupportLaws Editor 26/01/2018 at 9:08 am

Unfortunately, we cannot answer your question as it would be up to the appeal panel to decide. We can only offer basic generic advice, not specific case-based advice.

HarryMc 25/01/2018 at 4:23 pm

My ex will willingly move out but the she will have to be rehoused by the state in another private or social housing rent where she will again make a housing benefit claim, but what is the sense in her uprooting the children after only just moving to my property. We were told by the council that the claim would be ok and we were transparent with them, they paid one weeks rent the decided they were not paying any more. She would never have moved in knowing a benefit claim wouldn’t be accepted

ChildSupportLaws Editor 25/01/2018 at 2:45 pm

Neither parent will be 'punished'. As a rule, unless there is a valid reason for wishing to change the current arrangement, a court will always opt for continuity and stability of your child. As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the child in question. The court will always put the child’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order.

MattH Editor 25/01/2018 at 12:41 pm

@HarryMc - you'll have a job on your hands if you wish to evict your ex as because they are your children. If she decides she wants to play awkward, it would be a matter for the courts, and because they are your kids, the court may expect you to house them for free. This is a tricky one!

HarryMc 24/01/2018 at 6:35 pm

I separated with my ex who I have 2 children with. We separated amicably 6 years since. We had a property together and I have a property that I owned(mortgaged). When we split I gave my ex a lump sum of cash and she moved out of the house. We then arranged a maintenance amount which I have paid every week since. Recently the house I owned previously became available to rent so I suggested she moved in with my two children and her younger child to another man. I have since married and have a 2 year old. The council were told before she moved in of our situation and paid the first weeks rent then sent us a letter saying housing benefit cannot be paid as I am responsible for housing my children even though she claimed housing benefit in previous house she gave up. We are currently appealing against the decision.

Flip side 23/01/2018 at 9:03 pm

Hi, my husband and I have seperated, we have 2 young kids. My husbands shifts allow for him to watch them during the days whilst I’m at work.
He is now fighting for 50/50 custody.

My question is , will the courts see because he works shifts that he is able to have more overnights, will I be punished because I work 4 days per week.
My ex seems to think a court will side with him.
Will I be punished for needing to work to provide a home for my kids?

ChildSupportLaws Editor 12/01/2018 at 2:13 pm

Your nephew is only responsible for paying child maintenance for his biological child. The biological father of the other two children would be deemed responsible for paying towards their day-to-day care.

SooH 09/01/2018 at 3:56 pm

My nephew is divorcing. He has one child born during the marriage. His wife has two children from a previous relationship who have lived with them too. Will he have to pay maintenance for them too?

swainwright 08/01/2018 at 2:02 pm

My parents divorced in the 1980s and, because both parents wanted to keep us, social workers then asked us children to choose which parent we’d like to live with. Heartbreaking then and now. Would this be illegal now after the Children Act?

Peanut 28/12/2017 at 3:53 pm

My ex partner has 2 children with his ex wife and 1 with me he currently pays her £330 a month for the 2 with his ex. Would I be entitled to a third of this since we are not living together?

ChildSupportLaws Editor 01/12/2017 at 3:49 pm

You don't say whether you are married or not, which makes it more difficult to answer your question. However, the CAB whichshould help.

ChildSupportLaws Editor 01/12/2017 at 2:34 pm

We cannot anticipate what will happen, other than CMS will look into any claims. Child maintenance calculations are based upon the non-resident parent's (your husband) earnings and the tax he pays via HMRC.

Sandy77 27/11/2017 at 9:55 pm

My husband has left me and I’ve been contacted with his ex.... he was suppose to pay maintenance to his other children. She has informed me that me ex lied to the csa and said he wasn’t living in the country when he was on a monthly on/off rotate. If I contact the csa with this information what will happen. He now will not pay me maintenance for our children .

Dominate 26/11/2017 at 1:01 am

Hi

I am a full-time mother of 3 our youngest is 2/eldest 7 and the house is mortgaged under both names.

If we were to separate/divorce what would I be entitled to? I'm worried as I haven't been out to work for 7 years and I'm petrified of losing everything.

Thanks

Confused80 24/11/2017 at 7:01 pm

Hi.
Myself and husband are divorcing. We have 3 children. Is he still liable to pay towards the mortgage?
TIA

rj 17/11/2017 at 2:59 pm

hi i wanted to ask in regards to child support. my parents got divorced so many years ago but we all still lived under the same roof for many years, my parents lived together for 46 years and and divorced by year when i was about 14 now im 29. my dad always paid half the thing and gave mom cash. now my mother has sued him for child support in an effort to destroy him. he is now owing 250.000 in debt of child support. he is 60 years old. we want to fight this so he can be free. what is can be done as me and my sibling are prof that he has always been there and my mother is eating money for free.

please help

Sarah Jane 11/11/2017 at 3:59 pm

I'm currently getting divorced have one daughter who is 4 I'm on low income and my ex is on a higher income than me he pays child maintenance of 30.00 a month my daughter goes to pre school 3 days a week does my ex have to pay nursery fees

ChildSupportLaws Editor 09/11/2017 at 1:48 pm

No. Child maintenance payments are solely based on the earnings of the non-resident parent. The primary carer's income is not taken into consideration. Child maintenance is more or less based upon the proportion of your wage that you would allocate towards bringing up your child and catering for their day-to-day needs, if you were still living under the same roof.

Help Needed 08/11/2017 at 8:56 pm

I have 3 children with my estranged partner.

I know and understand that i have to pay maintenance, however she has a few properties and her money is tied up in these pproperties.

Will.this be taken into account that she has a rather large income in relation to my child.maintemamce payments.?

Jan1991 26/10/2017 at 8:15 pm

Hi,
I have separated from my daughters dad. We are currently still living under the same roof. Am I right in thinking that I can start to ask for maintenance, due to me paying for everything for our daughter and also being the main parent?

Rickvan 20/10/2017 at 11:37 am

In 2012 I was contacted by DWP /CSA,knew nothing about it, then in 2016 £300 per pay cycle is taken from my wages, then in 2016 arears takes £400 per pay week.I never met these people, I could not maintain my job,
What can I do ? Totally sick of this situation

ChildSupportLaws Editor 16/10/2017 at 2:21 pm

For one child, you’ll pay 12% of your gross weekly income, for two children, you’ll pay 16% of your gross weekly income and for three or more children, you’ll pay 19% of your gross weekly income. The money should be divided evenly to account for each child.

Kevin 15/10/2017 at 6:13 pm

I have 3 children with my first wife and I pay £270 a month maintenance arranged by the cma.
I am now divorcing my second wife and we have 1 child together.
How do I work out child support as the calculator does not have the option of 2 ex wives

Iddzy 07/10/2017 at 8:46 am

I have been with my partner for 6 years and we have a nearly 1 year old daughter. We live in a rented house that is only in my partners name and he pays the rent. I have been working as a Teaching assistant but I am now a full-time student in my last year of my teaching degree. The relationship isn't working for me anymore, and i feel there is a lot of damaging emotional abuse going on between us that I don't want my daughter around. The only reason I havnt left is because I do not feel financially dependent to support myself and my daughter on my own while I am only in receipt of student finance. From previous conversations hes made it clear he would make things hard work if i did leave. My question is what obligations doesnhe have to uphold as we are only in a co-habiting partnership ?

ChildSupportLaws Editor 21/09/2017 at 12:26 pm

I am sorry to hear this. I advise your brother to seek professional legal advice before he goes ahead with taking the matter to court, as a solicitor would be able to advise whether it is worthwhile. As a rule, the court’s main concern is the welfare of his child. The court will always put the child’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order. Quite often the resident parent is given permission to stay in the house until the child leaves full-time education, regardless whether the house is in his name, or whether other children are living in the house. Your brother needs to explore his options fully to find out what the best outcome can be v the worst. Much will also depend upon his ex's personal circumstances i.e whether she is living with the father of her most recent child in the house.

Nikki 20/09/2017 at 11:49 am

My brother divorced his wife two years ago. His has a 3 year old d daughter with her. She also has 2 children from a previous marriage and has had another baby with yet another father since the divorce. My brother has been paying the full amount of csa and has also been paying the mortgage as the house is in his name. She refuses to pay anything towards the mortgage and is pleased that she is preventing him from moving on. She has a good job and earns around 40 k a year as well as ccsa from 3 different dads. He currently lives with our parents at 36 years old as he cannot afford to live independently.
He is in the process of forking out more money to take her to court to make her sell the house as he is providing a home not only for his own child but 3 others as well.
Is he wasting his time or does he have a chance of forcing her to sell or at least pay him rent on the mortgage?
Any advice would be greatly appreciated as it is causing so much stress as she threatens that she will stop him seeing his daughter whom he loves very much.

ChildSupportLaws Editor 12/09/2017 at 11:45 am

If you have a family-based financial arrangement, then you agree between you what your ex can afford to pay and what you need to help support your child. It's a tricky question to answer and would also depend upon your own personal income against your ex's. If the mortgage is in both of your names, then by rights you should be paying half and then you could claim child maintenance, but this would equate to the same figure. However, if you're a stay-at-home mum, then your are in a tricky situation and your only recourse would be to take the matter to court for the court to decide what your ex should pay with regards to the mortgage and child maintenance. Currently, your ex is stopping the mortgage from going into arrears and by doing this he is paying towards keeping a roof over your child's head. However, if he is earning all the money and you are earning nothing, then you may wish to speak directly to CMS to see what it advises.

Lean 11/09/2017 at 7:29 am

I am currently going through a divorce and through the child maintenance calculator I am entitled to £300 a month from my child's father, currently our mortgage is £600 a month and I am living in the house with our daughter until it sells. At the moment he doesn't give me a penny towards my daughter as he says my half of the mortgage with the £300 I should be receiving monthly. When we was together he always paid the full mortgage , I am much worse off and don't get a penny towards our daughter is this right?

Shazza 26/08/2017 at 5:53 pm

Hi all, was just wondering if I can claim spouse maintenance as well as child maintenance, don't get me wrong I'm not trying to bankrupt anyone, was just curious
Thank you ??

ChildSupportLaws Editor 24/08/2017 at 11:40 am

You will be entitled to receive child maintenance yes. If you are together in a relationship still then you may wish to agree this between you in a family-based arrangement. If you want child maintenance to be arranged via CMS, much will depend upon how many other children your partner has and how many nights he will have your mutual child overnight. Please see CMS calculator here .

Kissestea 23/08/2017 at 12:00 pm

My partner and I are expecting our first child early next year, we don't live together as we don't live near each other and both have children from previous relationships. He pays maintenance for his previous children, an I entitled to anything from him for this child when it's born and of so at what rate? Also can his ex partner refuse him acces to his children? Is there anything he can do about this?

ChildSupportLaws Editor 11/08/2017 at 11:21 am

Yes, you should agree it with your ex is you are on speaking terms and have a family-based arrangement. Usually, when paying through an agency such as CMS, the official end of the school year (August 31) is when payments stop.

De 10/08/2017 at 7:17 pm

Please help. Daughter 18 next March . Finished A levels next easter. No CSA or other agency agreement ever required as paid agreed amount for years increasing year on year.
Can I stop paying monthly payment after A level course ends????.

ChildSupportLaws Editor 31/07/2017 at 2:46 pm

Your ex does not have to pay any more than CSA/CMS have assessed, unless he voluntarily agrees.

DIVORCEDandHAPPY 29/07/2017 at 10:28 am

My ex pays the bare minimum for his daughter through CSA. I have told him on his days (twice a week) that he needs to cover his childcare elements albeit a childminder or day camp. He is refusing. Am i right in thinking this?

ChildSupportLaws Editor 18/07/2017 at 11:48 am

There is no 'legal requirement' that specifies this. It is something that should be agreed between both parents.

Kel 17/07/2017 at 5:37 pm

is there any legal requirement that states father has to collect children from marital home after divorce?

ChildSupportLaws Editor 13/07/2017 at 11:26 am

If you apply for child maintenance through the likes of Child Maintenance Service, they may include the fact your ex is paying towards the mortgage when making the assessment of your children's father. Ideally, you would agree a family-based child maintenance arrangement that suits you both. Otherwise, you should speak to CMS directly, here .

Me me 11/07/2017 at 4:51 pm

Hi, me and my partner split up receny. We have 7 year old and 3 year old. Me and children are staying in the house, which is in his name and paying mortgage. Are children entiteled in any extra maitenence, if we stay in his house till kids turn 18 and he pays the mortgage. Or mortgage payments for the house that stays in his name cover all. Ghanks

ChildSupportLaws Editor 23/06/2017 at 11:59 am

We cannot comment on whether this is a reasonable amount as it is all relative. Once your ex begins work, your ex will be legally responsible for paying you child maintenance, if you wish to claim. Therefore, you may wish to seek legal advice in order to explore the options.

Dantheman 22/06/2017 at 8:02 pm

My wife had a nervous breakdown in Feb 2015 I have exclusively looked after my three children (13, 11 and 10) ever since and carried on working as a teacher.
My wife has now applied for a divorce which I have agreed to and all she wants is 3 hours access with children per week. My wife gets job seekers allowance. I don't have a partner, but she has a casual partner. I earn £35k and pay £1000 rent plus bills and food for three kids. Is there a calculation for spousal maintenance. I have a property worth £100,000 which pays rent at £300 per month which we have never lived in. She says she wants £100 per month. Would you say this is reasonable? Would mediation advise her to ask for more. Thank you.

rhoders105 10/05/2017 at 1:30 pm

My wife and i have seperated recently and i have moved out of the family home.
She has said that i should pay maintenance.
How soon would i do this?
The boys are with me mostly due to her line of work.

Mummy 28/04/2017 at 6:22 pm

I separated from my ex in November. My 17 month old son lives with me, he see his father whenever his father wants which is regularly. He has paid less then £200 towards child maintenance in last 6 months. He is now going to be working a full time job is insisting on having his son a few nights a week and at weekends.

I work and provide for myself and child. I have never had issue with my son staying overnight with his father when his father had his own flat, however he now lives in a communal house with 13 other individuals that I know nothing about, and this is where he wants his son to stay overnight with him, my son would not have his own room.

I don't know what my rights are or what I should do.

The father in the past was substance abusing, and was in debt with several utility companies and councils. I am unsure if he is still substance abusing ( I have worried about my child being in his supervision in the past but he gave me no reason to take action as my son would not spend more then a few hours with him and he was looked after well during that time) I guess my main concern is my son being exposed to bunch of people I have no background information on for several nights a week.

ChildSupportLaws Editor 13/04/2017 at 2:39 pm

Unless a court orders spousal maintenenance via a court order, then you do not have to pay this.

singledad 06/04/2017 at 11:55 am

Me and my wife have split up and i have sole custody of out daughter, my ex wife is payinng child maintenance but insists that i have to her spousal maintenance.

is this true? or is she being awkward?

many thanks
single dad

bev896 16/03/2017 at 9:36 am

A friend is going through the process of separating from her husband, (she is Scottish and her husband Irish) they were married in Kenya and now live in East Asia due to his work. This is getting messy as he is refusing to give her any financial assistance. They have one 9 year old child together who will be staying with the mum. Although he has a well paid job and considerable savings my friend is unable to access them. All the accounts as are UK based with a property in London rented out but under his name (it was previously the marital home) which my friend has financially contributed to the mortgage when she was working and living in London with him and paid for extensive refurbishment as well. If she has to apply to a UK Court to force him to pay would she be better raising an action in England or Scotland where she intends to relocate to?

ChildSupportLaws Editor 06/03/2017 at 11:30 am

Your ex would be liable to pay child maintenance if your children are under 18. It is also unlikely a court would force you to move out of your home if your children are under 18 and in full-time education. If your children are over-18, then regardless of whether the house is in your name, your ex would be entitled to claim if you bought the house together when married and/or due to the length of your marriage. You may wish to seek legal advice.

Lol275 05/03/2017 at 11:27 am

Hi can anyone help I'm seperated from husband for the last 2 years , been together 36 years , should he be paying me maintenance , also have a son who he never pays for .. now hes saying he wants us of the marital home which is in my name , he moved out , can he do this

Nelson 25/02/2017 at 10:50 am

Hi. Im in the starting process of leaving my wife. We've been together for 10 years but we haven't been happy for a while and we don't want to effect our son in the long run by staying together. I would like joint custody which i thing my wife had agreed on but at the moment i work nights so i can only have my son 2 nights a week. But by working nights it helps us both out by my wife not having to pick our son up from school and worrying about paying for child care and plus i get to see my son everyday. I will be feeding him his dinner and getting him ready for bed most nights then either drop him off on the way to work or he will be picked up. So i will have him at least 3 hours everyday. My concern is i will have clothes, food and things for us to do and bath things but at the moment my wife is saying that i will have to pay full maintaince money even though i have him as much as i do and feed him etc but i don't think i can afford that. Does the CSA take inconsidertion that i have him everyday and feed him everyday or is it solely done on where he sleeps

GERDA 17/02/2017 at 11:55 am

MY HUSBAND AND I ARE NOW SEPERATED FOR 6 YEARS, IS HE STILL RESPONSIBLE TO LOOK AFTER ME FINANCIALY?

Jon 13/02/2017 at 7:16 am

My ex wife and I divorced 4 years ago, the kids stay with us both 50/50 (they actually spend more time with me as I pick them up from school every day, even on days they are staying with her) it's an agreement that has worked well for us both. The only issue is money. I pay £100 a week maintenance, as worked out using the online calculator, but why? She is already getting the child benefit plus my £400 per month. I also pay for their extra curricular activities and we split the cost of school trips. Am I being taken advantage of? And what is to stop me being the 'resident parent' and thus getting maintenance from her?

Sheena 11/02/2017 at 9:10 pm

My husband and I are separated. I have yet to file for divorce. I have had a look at child maintenance payment calculation on the website and this only gives me £500. My husband has left me in a lot of debt under name . Basically he is a gambling addict and used lies and deceit to get money off me. Because of these outgoings, £500 a month will not cover living and childcare costs.

Becca.S 23/01/2017 at 6:07 pm

Hi, i was just wondering if my ex ahould pay me maintenance, i am the primary carer for our 2 daughters and i am currently in the process of taking him to court as we have a joint tenency and he wont leave and its umbearable living with him. If i applied for maintenance would i get it if we still live together?

Lou 19/01/2017 at 2:40 pm

Just to add. We have agreed to the shared care through mediation. The care is 50/50. I said to him your claiming benefits for having them full-time and its not the case, I should be getting atleast half? He says that I shouldnt and if that was the case why arent I giving him half my wages and that I should be paying him maintenance?

Lou 19/01/2017 at 2:32 pm

Me and my ex have shared care of our 2 children. I have them a Thursday afternoon until a Sunday afternoon every week and he the rest. He claims all the benefits for both of the children and is not giving me any regular money. I was advised with shared care you can claim for one child each but he wont let me. I work, he doesnt. Would be grateful of any advise of my options?

ChildSupportLaws Editor 17/01/2017 at 12:55 pm

Yes, he could be made to pay more. A solicitor's agreement drawn up years ago will not have taken into account inflation etc. Therefore, your partner could ask for the agreement to be reconsidered taking into account the rate of inflation/changes in financial circumstances etc and this could be carried out by a mediatior or solicitor. Or she can contact CMS directly for more information. Your partner can also calculate how much her ex should be paying which

Nijj72 16/01/2017 at 7:10 pm

Hi.. my partner divorced her ex husband 12 years ago, she has a 14 year old son by him. When she divorced, she signed an agreement drawn up by a solicitor, which stipulated how much child maintenance her ex husband would pay. The amount agreed is well below that which would be awarded by government schemes. Is this a legal agreement? Or does U.K. Law override it? Her ex earns approx 17000 per month and pays 80 pounds per week. Could he be made to pay more by the CMS or the court? Thanks is for any advice.

Swim 06/01/2017 at 7:57 am

I have two children one stays with me and doesnt see or want to see his mum and the other stays with her mum but stays with me at weekends. My question is why do I need to pay maintenance or should it be cancelled out because I have one and she has one as she doesnt pay any maintenance to me?

ChildSupportLaws Editor 04/01/2017 at 11:27 am

We cannot predict whether you would get shared-care of your daughter, as much depends on whether your ex agrees and if not, whether a court would consent to you having shared care. Shared-care is usually agreed by the parents, or through the courts if and where the parents shared the care of the child prior to separation. As a rule, it is usual that one parent becomes the primary carer (usually the mother) and the other parent, then non-resident parent (NRP). If your ex is not allowing you to to have access to your child, then in the first instance you would have to suggest mediation to her. Mediation is when two or more parties meet to resolve problems before the matter reaches court and is most often used in family proceedings. It is a formal negotiation and courts can accept the agreement of the mediation instead of having to go through the court process, although it is subject to final court approval. Mediation takes place in front of a neutral third party. The mediator has no pre-conceptions and will not force you to make an agreement. They will assist the two parties in taking turns in the conversation, and helping you reach an decision that you are ready to agree with. Mediators do not pass judgment or offer guidance; they are there, in effect, to facilitate conversation between the two sides. However, if your ex refuses to attend mediation, then you would have to apply through the court for access to your daughter. If you are awarded access then both you and your ex would be ordered by the court to keep to the arrangement. In the first instance you may wish to seek legal advice in order to explore your options.

J1996 03/01/2017 at 2:27 pm

Okay.Can I get a shared/joint custody of my daughter?Me n ma gf broke up,n she's hardly letting me see Ma daughter is it a problem if am not a citizen in the U.K. But still got a residential permit can I get a share custody or joint?I want to be. Ble to take my daughter on the weekends,be able to take her out myself without the mum being there....Basically be a responsible dad and be part in my baby girls life and how can this be done?

ChildSupportLaws Editor 19/12/2016 at 12:48 pm

You would have to apply for a visa independently of the mother of your child if your visa is dependent upon her. Please see gov.uk whichSee also CAB which

peace 17/12/2016 at 8:34 am

I have a child in uk and am having a child support residence permit but the mother of the child what to take the child out of uk which the court have given her permission to do so and my residence is 4 months to expire what will I do and she will leave before then pls I need advice. Will I be deported if the child go?

ChildSupportLaws Editor 28/11/2016 at 1:45 pm

Regardless of whether your ex is married, or living with someone, as the father of your child you are required by law to pay child maintenance to help support him.

London8 25/11/2016 at 7:06 am

Hi i am divorced and my son living with me monday to friday 2days with his mum my question is i understand if she is not wirking she don't need to pay child maintenance...but her partner his working they live together in same house it's possible to pay me child maintenance if her partner working?thank you

ChildSupportLaws Editor 18/10/2016 at 12:05 pm

You would have to speak to the CMS. By law if your son is in full time education, then you should be able to apply. However, if the settlement was agreed through a court order, your ex husband will be able to apply back to court to have the order enforced, if you try to claim. Some legal advice may also help, to see if you have any recourse to apply for a variation to the original order.

Pam 17/10/2016 at 6:10 pm

If it was agreed that my husband could stop paying for his son at 18 in the divorce settlement(stupidly on my part!) can he be made to now. My son is still in full time education.

ChildSupportLaws Editor 20/07/2016 at 10:10 am

Actual shared-care is usually agreed by the parents. In normal circumstances one parent is classed as the resident-parent and the other the non-resident-parent. Child maintenance is then calculated on the NRP's earnings and reduced by the number of nights the NRP has the child/children over. Child maintenance is based on the fact the resident-parent is responsible for the children's day-to-day financial care and the NRP contributes to that care. Some parents agree to split the benefits, but that is up to the individual parents to agree. If you feel you have been treated unfairly regarding child maintenance, you can complain

Fuming 19/07/2016 at 6:43 am

Is this right that even if you have shared equal 50/50 care of your child the father still has to pay maintenance while the mother is getting all the government hand outs for the child? So I have my daughter as much as her mother so I should be intitled to half the benifits she receives for my daughter? Not give her money on top! The system is a joke

hutchy 04/06/2015 at 1:56 pm

My new partner is divorced n he's the custodial parent of his son in which they have joint custody. He is 12. The 2 parents do no cross any monies as said through court. He does not receive Csa either. We have heard that his son might want to stay with his mother now instead of with his father. Does this mean he would have to pay Csa to the mother if this happens? He hasn't received a penny from her since having his son live with him.

ChildSupportLaws Editor 03/06/2015 at 11:51 am

@Namamamma - you can check via Child Maintenance Options here. I hope this helps.

Namamamma 31/05/2015 at 5:32 pm

Hello. Im a mum of two beautiful baby girls. I have just recently seperated from my partner. Im still married but legally seperated. I live with my two girls and Im theain carrer and I have always been. My question how much will my ex partner needs to pay for my two girls. Im on benefits but Im searching for work myself as Im responsible for everything. Its just that he doesnt seem to be that bothered with time going. Hes good dad but he prefers something else than his children. Was hoping if hes not physicly there he needs to support gis children at least fianancially. Thank you.

ChildSupportLaws Editor 02/06/2015 at 2:46 pm

@Rocky - if you have joint residency of your children then you should not have to pay. However, for your own peace of mind, you can find out if you should be paying whichI hope this helps.

Rocky 29/05/2015 at 11:48 pm

Hi I was wondering if anyone could shed some light on my situation. My wife and I separated over 2 years ago after she had two affairs and left the marital home and are now in the process of divorce. Since we split we have had a verbal equal 50/50 custody agreement for our 9 year old son and 17 year old daughter. I pay for everything when the children are with me and have been paying my ex £50 a week even though my daughter left school last year and is no longer in education. She is threatening to take me to the CSA and says I should be giving her £106 a week even though she claims the Child Benefit, Working Tax Credits and another benefit. Is she right as i can't understand why I should be paying anything let alone giving her £50 a week if we have an exact 182 days a year split and I pay for everything when the children are with me?

Any advise would be appreciated as it seems to be a bit of a minefield!!

ChildSupportLaws Editor 01/04/2015 at 11:54 am

@Andyroo - I'm afraid we can never answer questions regarding the chances of you being awarded care of your children through a residency order as it is quite impossible to predict. The court will decide what is in the best interests of your children. Before it goes to court there will be involvement from Cafcass. An officer would assess you both as parents and if the children are old enough ask their opinions too. As you can imagine some quite complex issues may be raised and it would be up to Cafcass to put together a report on what its opinions were in order to present it to the court. The court would then make an informed decision based upon that report and the evidence presented on who the children should reside with. I hope this helps.

Andyroo 30/03/2015 at 12:49 pm

My wife has been verbally abusing me, pretty much ever since our second child came along. In January this year, she told me that she wanted to be a surrogate mother, whilst we were out with my friends. Divorce is mentioned, because I am not on board with her idea and is only followed up when I say I want to sell the house.

I do not like her methods of teaching our children to do or not do things, like shutting the eldest son's arm in a door, all because he done that to his younger brother. Or scrubbing their teeth, when cleaning them, or cutting their nails so short they bleed, or tipping our eldest son over and laying him on the floor, when he is sat in his seat at the table and be pushing the chair onto two legs.

Nor do I like being told what I can and can not say to my children. My wife has pulled me to one side on a number of occasions about this and told me off for doing so.

I do not like the fact that I am not allowed to leave books on a bookcase at the top of the stairs, as they will get ruined when the boys play alone upstairs. Yet it is perfectly acceptable for her to let the eldest one play upstairs with a friend and for them to empty shampoo bottles and other bottles from the bathroom, onto the floor. Thank god they did not drink any of this.

I currently work 5 days a week, yet can provide a safe environment for the children to live and for me to prepare breakfast and an evening meal for them. I also have someone that can look after them, whilst I am at work.

What are the chances of me being able to have the children?

trg1 28/01/2015 at 6:42 pm

Hi

My husband recently decided to leave me with a five month old baby. He decided to do this the day after my dad died too. He knew I had depression and was suffering severely and this has damaged me completely so I don't know if that effects anything. I'm confused to what I'm entitled to as different sites say different things from one saying it is 20% of his earnings to another saying he needs to keep on paying what he is paying now towards rent and bills as well as 15% of his yearly earnings . I want to do to what's best for my bab. I've been together 6 years and married for 2. Any advice is greatly appreciated

jw 02/08/2014 at 9:30 pm

My husband left me when I was 33 weeks pregnant with our son he saw his son only a handful of times and hasnt bothered at all for the last 6 weeks and has said he doenst want to be involved in his life as he has a drug addiction and isnt fit to be a good dad. Yet he is living with someone else and playing daddy to her two children. Does he still have to pay me maintenance?

kazza 20/06/2013 at 7:41 pm

My son was 19 two weeks ago I am still paying for him as he wont work hes supposed to go to college 3 days a week but doesn't go. do I still have to pay?

bigears 29/07/2012 at 2:06 pm

I have just seperated from my wife and would like to know if I have to pay maintenance as well as half of the d/debits and standing orders in our joint bank account

Lou 03/07/2012 at 9:36 pm

Hi, my friends situation is quite unusual, she shares custody of her two children with her ex husband, (she has the kids 4 days a week & he has them 2 days) He is now claiming maintenance for those 2 days, even though he is self employed & making more money than her. The CSA has stated that £50 per child is the amount to pay, she is on a low wage and is at her wits end. Please help?

shady 06/06/2012 at 10:05 am

could you please tell me if a married man has to pay his wife still if he leaves her and if he does how long for and what does he have to pay for , the children are pass the age of concern as they have left school , do hope you can help as it will sort out a very large argument . thank you .

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