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Shared Care of a Child

By: Lorna Elliott LLB (hons), Barrister - Updated: 4 Nov 2017 |
 
Csa Shared Care Non-resident Parent

Although it is often the case that child support cases refer to the parent ‘with care’, or the ‘non-resident parent’, there are in practical terms many other domestic arrangements that do not fall into these two definitions. One such situation is ‘shared care’, in which more than one person looks after a child or children, but those people live in separate homes.

Who Can Share Care?

For the purposes of child support laws, ‘shared care’ does not include people who live under the same roof and share the care of a child. However, the following people are classed as having shared care: a person with care who is treated as though they are a non-resident parent (child in his/her care for at least 104 nights a year) – this could be a grandparent; a non-resident parent who looks after the child for at least 52 nights each year; or a child who is sometimes in the care of the local authority.

The CSA’s/ CMS's Decision

The CSA/CMS will, in deciding cases in which there is an issue of shared care, consider all the circumstances of the arrangements. The evidence to support a shared care application should be provided in writing but may be given orally if both the parents consent.

Who Receives Maintenance Payments?

There may be a question in shared care circumstances as to who should receive maintenance payments. If two people share responsibility for a child on a day-to-day basis, either one of them may apply to the CSA/CMS, on the condition that either both of them has parental responsibility or neither of them have parental responsibility. If one person does and the other person does not, it will be the person with parental responsibility who is entitled to apply for child maintenance.

If parents share care, the one who has the majority of the care will be the one who is entitled to child maintenance. If the shared care is entirely equal, it is the person who is in receipt of child benefits who can apply to the Child Maintenance Service (CMS). If both parents make competing applications for child benefit, the person who applied first will take priority.

Calculating the Rate Reduction

As we have already seen, a non-resident parent who looks after a child for at least 52 nights per year qualifies to have ‘shared care’ of the child. Although there are a number of variations and some exceptions, the following information reflects the general effect of shared care on CSA/CMS maintenance calculations.

If a non-resident parent has care of a child for between 52 – 103 nights per year, maintenance payments will be reduced by 1/7. For 104 – 155 nights, this fraction increases to 2/7. For 156 -174 nights, there will be a reduction of 3/7 and if the child spends 175 nights or more with the non-resident parent, maintenance payments will be reduced by ½.

The overnight care does not need to stretch to a 24 hour period, but must be overnight. If a child is in boarding school, with a babysitter, staying with a friend or is in hospital, the person who would otherwise have had care of the child during that period is considered to be the person with care.

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My ex and I recently had a baby who is now coming up to his 6th week. we are not married and we don't live together. I knew about the pregnancy two weeks after we broke up. We never met for the entirety of the pregnancy until two weeks before she had the baby from which time I supported her in every way she needed. Completely taking charge of any expenses except household bills. Although I didn't move in with her , she asked me to stay with her for the two weeks of paternity leave I took from my job. In the 5 weeks since before my son was born, I spent around £3718 buying everything needed in her house from baby stuff to grocery to so many other things which made the house more comfortable for her and the baby. This is in addition to taking her 5 year old daughe from a previous relationship to and from school. I even covered the house work to save her paying for a cleaner/ a nanny. Almost soon after the birth of the baby, she started getting aggressive and disrespectful and would simply start sulking without any apparent reason. I offered to speak about any problems before things got worse. She became uncooperative. One day , while we were returning from a day out , she got aggressive and started to abuse me. I was shocked and pleased with her to stop calling me names on front of the children. I was driving. When she refused , I just got drawn into the abuse. We had planned to go for a meal when this happened but we ended up parting company straight after the row. The argument was not about anything to do with our child. For a third week now , I haven't been able to see my son. I live in a different place so I don't have the right of access to her house. I'm living a nightmare consequently. I phoned and texted her apologising even when she was the aggressor. I spent the last three weeks trying mediation from her father and step mother. No results in the way of seeing my child. They seem reluctant to help always being polite with me but constantly deferring the time to speak to her. Recently I got a call from them suggesting that this was about money. That she was struggling to make ends meet and asking if I am helping her financially. Up until she stopped me seeing my son , I bore the burden of paying for all domestic costs in her household save the utility bills. What's more , I keep contacting her offering to give any help she needed. She refuses to do so. I guess my questions are : 1. Can all the costs I covered up to now be factored in when child maintenance is calculated ? 2. How can we make it legally binding if we agree to settle for a child maintenance mechanism without involving child maintenance office ? 3. Considering there are long standing trust issues , what can I do to check my paternity to the child ? 4. Given the age of the baby ( 6 weeks ) , what are my chances of getting shared care as I would like to spend more and more time with him ? Or is this too early to start applying for ? My preference is to tie e
Tadant - 4-Nov-17 @ 8:36 AM
Tadant - Your Question:
My ex and I recently had a baby who is now coming up to his 6th week. we are not married and we don't live together. I knew about the pregnancy two weeks after we broke up. We never met for the entirety of the pregnancy until two weeks before she had the baby from which time I supported her in every way she needed. Completely taking charge of any expenses except household bills. Although I didn't move in with her , she asked me to stay with her for the two weeks of paternity leave I took from my job. In the 5 weeks since before my son was born, I spent around £3718 buying everything needed in her house from baby stuff to grocery to so many other things which made the house more comfortable for her and the baby. This is in addition to taking her 5 year old daughe from a previous relationship to and from school. I even covered the house work to save her paying for a cleaner/ a nanny. Almost soon after the birth of the baby, she started getting aggressive and disrespectful and would simply start sulking without any apparent reason. I offered to speak about any problems before things got worse. She became uncooperative. One day , while we were returning from a day out , she got aggressive and started to abuse me. I was shocked and pleased with her to stop calling me names on front of the children. I was driving. When she refused , I just got drawn into the abuse. We had planned to go for a meal when this happened but we ended up parting company straight after the row. The argument was not about anything to do with our child. For a third week now , I haven't been able to see my son. I live in a different place so I don't have the right of access to her house. I'm living a nightmare consequently. I phoned and texted her apologising even when she was the aggressor. I spent the last three weeks trying mediation from her father and step mother. No results in the way of seeing my child. They seem reluctant to help always being polite with me but constantly deferring the time to speak to her. Recently I got a call from them suggesting that this was about money. That she was struggling to make ends meet and asking if I am helping her financially. Up until she stopped me seeing my son , I bore the burden of paying for all domestic costs in her household save the utility bills. What's more , I keep contacting her offering to give any help she needed. She refuses to do so. I guess my questions are : 1. Can all the costs I covered up to now be factored in when child maintenance is calculated ? 2. How can we make it legally binding if we agree to settle for a child maintenance mechanism without involving child maintenance office ? 3. Considering there are long standing trust issues , what can I do to check my paternity to the child ? 4. Given the age of the baby ( 6 weeks ) , what are my chances of getting shared care as I would like to spend more and more time with him ? Or is this too early to start applying for ? My preference is to tie e

Our Response:
In answer to your questions 1) A child maintenance claim would begin from the time your ex registers a claim, meaning the amount you spent would be seen as voluntary and therefore not taken into consideration, or assessed as part of any claim. 2) You cannot make any child maintenance claim legally binding outside of CMS, or court (seen as a last resort). If you make a family-based arrangement, you are free to decide between you what you should pay. You can make an agreement via mediation and this is overseen by the court. However, it is still not considered to be 'legally' binding. 3) You can arrange to have a paternity test, please see link here. 5) It is unlikely you would be granted shared-care of your child for several reasons; the young age of your child, if the mother is breastfeeding and because you have not been a hands-on parent to date. Sometimes parents fall out over particular issues, but hopefully these may be 'teething problems' and if you both as parents can develop an amicable relationship for the sake of your child, this will work much better down the line, please see link here.
ChildSupportLaws - 3-Nov-17 @ 2:11 PM
matt - Your Question:
Hi my ex wife and I split up 2 years ago, we agreed between our selves that we would share custody of our daughter.I moved out as I can just mange to take care of my self in the finace siide of things. I left to to get any help se was entitled too. she got her flat payed for , council tax payed for tax credits. and I gave here £50 a week to look after our daughter. after 4 months she got an everning job so I had my daughter 6 nights a week , in this time she also went to thailand for 3 month ( she is thai) she has been working of an evening for 15 months while I have my daughter, I have never asked for any help and she has continued to get all the benifits,, Her job has just finished an now she has taken my daughter back and expects me to give here money. what should I do ,, realisticly would like custody of my daughter, but I am looking for some sound advice. many thanks matt

Our Response:
Any issue that you cannot agree on, really should be dealt with mutually, or dealt with via mediation. Mediation is when two or more parties meet to resolve problems before the matter reaches court. It is most often used in family proceedings. It is a formal negotiation and courts can accept the agreement of the mediation instead of having to go through the court process, although it is subject to final court approval. Mediation takes place in front of a neutral third party. The mediator has no pre-conceptions and will not force you to make an agreement. They will assist the two parties in taking turns in the conversation, and helping you reach a decision that you are ready to agree with. Mediators do not pass judgment or offer guidance; they are there, in effect, to facilitate conversation between the two sides. However, where you can, mutual agreement is always the best process. With regards to the financial side of things, it's important to estimate who is the primary financial supplier of all the things your daughter needs and wants. If your daughter has gone back to live with her mother, then yes, you should contribute towards your child's day-to-day needs. If neither parent can agree on a workable solution, and if you cannot agree via mediation, then the only alternative is to take the matter to court. As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the child in question. The court will always put the child’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order.
ChildSupportLaws - 3-Nov-17 @ 9:48 AM
My ex and I recently had a baby who is now coming up to his 6th week. we are not married and we don't live together. I knew about the pregnancy two weeks after we broke up. We never met for the entirety of the pregnancy until two weeks before she had the baby from which time I supported her in every way she needed. Completely taking charge of any expenses except household bills. Although I didn't move in with her , she asked me to stay with her for the two weeks of paternity leave I took from my job. In the 5 weeks since before my son was born, I spent around £3718 buying everything needed in her house from baby stuff to grocery to so many other things which made the house more comfortable for her and the baby. This is in addition to taking her 5 year old daughe from a previous relationship to and from school. I even covered the house work to save her paying for a cleaner/ a nanny. Almost soon after the birth of the baby, she started getting aggressive and disrespectful and would simply start sulking without any apparent reason. I offered to speak about any problems before things got worse. She became uncooperative. One day , while we were returning from a day out , she got aggressive and started to abuse me. I was shocked and pleased with her to stop calling me names on front of the children. I was driving. When she refused , I just got drawn into the abuse. We had planned to go for a meal when this happened but we ended up parting company straight after the row. The argument was not about anything to do with our child. For a third week now , I haven't been able to see my son. I live in a different place so I don't have the right of access to her house. I'm living a nightmare consequently. I phoned and texted her apologising even when she was the aggressor. I spent the last three weeks trying mediation from her father and step mother. No results in the way of seeing my child. They seem reluctant to help always being polite with me but constantly deferring the time to speak to her. Recently I got a call from them suggesting that this was about money. That she was struggling to make ends meet and asking if I am helping her financially. Up until she stopped me seeing my son , I bore the burden of paying for all domestic costs in her household save the utility bills. What's more , I keep contacting her offering to give any help she needed. She refuses to do so. I guess my questions are : 1. Can all the costs I covered up to now be factored in when child maintenance is calculated ? 2. How can we make it legally binding if we agree to settle for a child maintenance mechanism without involving child maintenance office ? 3. Considering there are long standing trust issues , what can I do to check my paternity to the child ? 4. Given the age of the baby ( 6 weeks ) , what are my chances of getting shared care as I would like to spend more and more time with him ? Or is this too early to start applying for ? My preference is to tie e
Tadant - 3-Nov-17 @ 12:16 AM
Hi my ex wife and i split up 2 years ago, we agreed between our selves that we would share custody of our daughter.Imoved outas i can just mange to take care of my self in the finace siide of things.. I left to to get any help se was entitled too.. she got her flat payed for , council tax payed fortax credits .. and i gave here £50 a week to look after our daughter .. after 4 months she got an everning job so i had my daughter 6 nights a week , in this time she also went to thailand for 3 month ( she is thai)she has been working of an evening for 15 months while i have my daughter, I have never asked for any help and she has continued to get all the benifits,, Her job has just finished an now she has taken my daughter back and expects me to give here money.. what should i do ,, realisticlywould like custody of my daughter, but i am looking for some sound advice .. many thanksmatt
matt - 2-Nov-17 @ 2:44 PM
My ex and I recently had a baby who is now coming up to his 6th week. we are not married and we don't live together. I knew about the pregnancy two weeks after we broke up. We never met for the entirety of the pregnancy until two weeks before she had the baby from which time I supported her in every way she needed. Completely taking charge of any expenses except household bills. Although I didn't move in with her , she asked me to stay with her for the two weeks of paternity leave I took from my job. In the 5 weeks since before my son was born, I spent around £3718 buying everything needed in her house from baby stuff to grocery to so many other things which made the house more comfortable for her and the baby. This is in addition to taking her 5 year old daughe from a previous relationship to and from school. I even covered the house work to save her paying for a cleaner/ a nanny. Almost soon after the birth of the baby, she started getting aggressive and disrespectful and would simply start sulking without any apparent reason. I offered to speak about any problems before things got worse. She became uncooperative. One day , while we were returning from a day out , she got aggressive and started to abuse me. I was shocked and pleased with her to stop calling me names on front of the children. I was driving. When she refused , I just got drawn into the abuse. We had planned to go for a meal when this happened but we ended up parting company straight after the row. The argument was not about anything to do with our child. For a third week now , I haven't been able to see my son. I live in a different place so I don't have the right of access to her house. I'm living a nightmare consequently. I phoned and texted her apologising even when she was the aggressor. I spent the last three weeks trying mediation from her father and step mother. No results in the way of seeing my child. They seem reluctant to help always being polite with me but constantly deferring the time to speak to her. Recently I got a call from them suggesting that this was about money. That she was struggling to make ends meet and asking if I am helping her financially. Up until she stopped me seeing my son , I bore the burden of paying for all domestic costs in her household save the utility bills. What's more , I keep contacting her offering to give any help she needed. She refuses to do so. I guess my questions are : 1. Can all the costs I covered up to now be factored in when child maintenance is calculated ? 2. How can we make it legally binding if we agree to settle for a child maintenance mechanism without involving child maintenance office ? 3. Considering there are long standing trust issues , what can I do to check my paternity to the child ? 4. Given the age of the baby ( 6 weeks ) , what are my chances of getting shared care as I would like to spend more and more time with him ? Or is this too early to start applying for ? My preference is to tie e
Tadant - 28-Oct-17 @ 6:47 PM
Smartblonde - Your Question:
I split from my partner 2 years ago. We stayed in the house for 1 year whilst selling and have liver separately for 1 year. I was not married to this man. We have 2 boys together aged 7 and 13. My ex-partner initially wanted full custody and dragged my name through the mud but all his allegations were false and any cases he tried to raise were quashed. He suggested shared care as an option for the children as wanted to avoid paying maintenance at all costs. As time as gone on the boys spend less and less time at their Dads and on average spend less than 2 nights a week with him. I would like some facts on where I stand challenging this as the day to day costs fall on me and it is financially crippling. We both work fulltime. The child benefit is paid to me and I also receive a small amount of child tax credit

Our Response:
You may wish to speak to Child Maintenance Options, you are entitled to claim, please see link here.
ChildSupportLaws - 17-Oct-17 @ 4:09 PM
Es - Your Question:
My daughter as just been given 50pre cent custody of her kids and the same as gone to social services what does this mean

Our Response:
Much depends upon the circumstances. In the first instance, the social work department or the police will first make initial enquiries and decide to either take no action or offer support to the family. If the referral is serious, a formal investigation will begin. If any investigation finds that action is required to protect the children, a case conference will then be held.
ChildSupportLaws - 17-Oct-17 @ 2:43 PM
My daughter as just been given 50pre cent custody of her kids and the same as gone to social services what does this mean
Es - 13-Oct-17 @ 3:16 PM
I split from my partner 2 years ago. We stayed in the house for 1 year whilst selling and have liver separately for 1 year. I was not married to this man. We have 2 boys together aged 7 and 13. My ex-partner initially wanted full custody and dragged my name through the mud but all his allegations were false and any cases he tried to raise were quashed. He suggested shared care as an option for the children as wanted to avoid paying maintenance at all costs. As time as gone on the boys spend less and less time at their Dads and on average spend less than 2 nights a week with him. I would like some facts on where I stand challenging this as the day to day costs fall on me and it is financially crippling. We both work fulltime. The child benefit is paid to me and I also receive a small amount of child tax credit
Smartblonde - 13-Oct-17 @ 9:55 AM
Any - Your Question:
I have been divorced for 6 years and my ex partner has always had 8 overnight stays a month for our 2 children. As they are getting older they don't want to stay there overnight as much. I want to reduce it to 4 overnight stays a month but he is refusing (I think because he will have to pay me more via CSA). Any advice how I can reduce my children's overnight stays please? Thanks

Our Response:
Where an agreement cannot be made between parents and if your children cannot convey their wishes directly to their dad, then you should think about trying to resolve the issue via mediation in order to be able to come to a workable compromise.
ChildSupportLaws - 10-Oct-17 @ 12:12 PM
I have been divorced for 6 years and my ex partner has always had 8 overnight stays a month for our 2 children.As they are getting older they don't want to stay there overnight as much.I want to reduce it to 4 overnight stays a month but he is refusing (I think because he will have to pay me more via CSA).Any advice how I can reduce my children's overnight stays please? Thanks
Any - 9-Oct-17 @ 4:38 PM
Sid - Your Question:
My partner's ex is making his life hell by constantly playing games with him seeing his 7mth old daughter. He does not want to go to court and has since done mediation for the mother to agree to the times for him to see his daughter. They currently agree that he would pay her £200 plus buy any bits the baby needs. They also agreed to not involve CSA because they wanted my partner to pay £400 based on his earnings but that amount is too much to pay as my partner is also in alot of debt and could even loose his home due to his debts. My partner's ex has now fallen out with him because he refuses to get back with her and as a result she has stopped him from seeing his child again and threatened to go to the CSA for him to pay child maintenance for his child that he can't see. My partner has no problem paying but how can he explain to the CSA that despite what he earns because of his debts he's unable to pay £400 And how can you get to see his daughter without the mother having any control because every time he doesn't see his child he sinks into depression and anxiety. Please help me help my partner.

Our Response:
I am sorry to hear this. Firstly, child maintenance and child access are two different issues and are not dependent upon each other. Regardless of whether your partner sees his child or not, he is still responsible for paying child maintenance towards the day-to-day care of his daughter. Likewise, his ex cannot stop him seeing his child purely for financial reasons, this would never stand up in court. Unfortunately, your partners debts are not taken into consideration when determining what the non-resident parent should pay with regards to child maintenance. There is a standard fixed rate as a percentage of his earnings (which applies to every non-resident parent across the board). If he is paying child maintenance and he is on the basic rate, the amount he will pay is dependent upon the number of children he is being asked to pay for. If he is paying for one child and the child stays with the resident parent all the time, then he will pay 12% of his gross weekly income. As you can imagine, it would be unfair if all non-resident parents were treated differently with regards to whether they were in debt or not. In fact, it would encourage some NRPs to incur debt in a bid to avoid paying child maintenance. This means his ex is within her rights to approach CMS for financial support. With regards to child access, if the issue cannot be resolved via mediation, then your partner's option will be to apply to court. Once a court order is in place, your partner's ex would have to stick to it, or risk being in breach. If your partner cannot afford to be represented by a solicitor, then he can represent himself in court. If he self-litigates, the judge has a duty to ensure he is not at an unfair disadvantage by not having legal representation. While it is possibly not the answer you wish to hear, I hope this fully helps answer your question. If your partner needs help with his financial concerns, the likes of National Debtline may be able to help with advice, please see link here .
ChildSupportLaws - 25-Sep-17 @ 10:31 AM
My partner's ex is making his life hell by constantly playing games with him seeing his 7mth old daughter. He does not want to go to court and has since done mediation for the mother to agree to the times for him to see his daughter. They currently agree that he would pay her £200 plus buy any bits the baby needs. They also agreed to not involve CSA because they wanted my partner to pay £400 based on his earnings but that amount is too much to pay as my partner is also in alot of debt and could even loose his home due to his debts. My partner's ex has now fallen out with him because he refuses to get back with her and as a result she has stopped him from seeing his child again and threatened to go to the CSA for him to pay child maintenance for his child that he can't see. My partner has no problem paying but how can he explain to the CSA that despite what he earns because of his debts he's unable to pay £400 And how can you get to see his daughter without the mother having any control because every time he doesn't see his child he sinks into depression and anxiety. Please help me help my partner.
Sid - 24-Sep-17 @ 10:03 AM
Toves13 - Your Question:
Me and my ex partner split up 5 months ago, we have a 4 year old together.he owns the home we lived in together and kicked me out and made me homeless , he has since told me her got promotion and now earns over £50,000 a year. He is now claiming the child benefit and is asking for child maintenance from me even though he only lets me see our son for 2 hours a week. We are starting mediation which will hopefully result in 50/50 custody. Will I still have to pay him maintenance even though he earns what he does (I earn £15000 pa) and he receives the child benefit?

Our Response:
Whoever is the non-resident parent, by law has to pay the resident parent child maintenance towards the day-to-day care of their child regardless of what the resident parent earns. If you both agree to 50/50 residency of your child, then you will agree whether you should pay child maintenance or not. If mediation fails and you cannot agree, then your only recourse would be to apply to court for shared-care and the court will also decide whether you should pay child maintenance.
ChildSupportLaws - 18-Sep-17 @ 3:10 PM
Me and my ex partner split up 5 months ago, we have a 4 year old together.he owns the home we lived in together and kicked me out and made me homeless , he has since told me her got promotion and now earns over £50,000 a year. He is now claiming the child benefit and is asking for child maintenance from me even though he only lets me see our son for 2 hours a week. We are starting mediation which will hopefully result in 50/50 custody. Will I still have to pay him maintenance even though he earns what he does (I earn £15000 pa) and he receives the child benefit?
Toves13 - 16-Sep-17 @ 9:20 AM
Bobs - Your Question:
My expartner is made a claim to take the child benefit from me. We have 50/50 shared care. I look after all my sons medical app and well being including docs dentist's hospital ect. I received a letter stating that they except we have 50/50 shared care and it goes down to who as him most throughout the day. It works out that he as him due to the times we agreed on pick up and work etc. I only work 3 days per week and may be losing my job in the next couple of mths. I have also reported my ex for domestic abuse and sent child benefits the letter also. I has said if he get the child benefit then he will use that control to move my son away from me to another school. Am very ill at the moment with anxiety depression and bad nerves. Can anyone help me please

Our Response:
If you have 50-50 shared care, then both parents have equal rights to care for your son. I can only suggest you seek legal advice as it would be up to a court to decide if you cannot agree between you and/or you cannot agree through mediation (if the child benefit office decides in his favour and you wish to challenge this). However, please note that if you have shared-care and as you have parental responsibility your ex cannot move your child away out of the area without your consent.
ChildSupportLaws - 29-Aug-17 @ 10:24 AM
My expartner is made a claim to take the child benefit from me. We have 50/50 shared care. I look after all my sons medical app and well being including docs dentist's hospital ect. I received a letter stating that they except we have 50/50 shared care and it goes down to who as him most throughout the day. It works out that he as him due to the times we agreed on pick up and work etc. I only work 3 days per week and may be losing my job in the next couple of mths. I have also reported my ex for domestic abuse and sent child benefits the letter also. I has said if he get the child benefit then he will use that control to move my son away from me to another school. Am very ill at the moment with anxiety depression and bad nerves. Can anyone help me please
Bobs - 27-Aug-17 @ 7:02 AM
Spark - Your Question:
Can Grandparents claim CMS and if so which parent do I claim it of as I don't won't to upset my daughter so was only going to name my grand daughters father if I do this will I also have to claim against her mother( my daughtet)

Our Response:
If the child is officially living with you; the grandparents, then you would have to claim from both parents. CMS will not unfairly claim from just one parent.
ChildSupportLaws - 25-Aug-17 @ 11:27 AM
Can Grandparents claim CMS and if so which parent do I claim it of as I don't won't to upset my daughter so was only going to name my grand daughters father if i do this will i also have to claim against her mother( my daughtet)
Spark - 24-Aug-17 @ 11:34 AM
I split with my partner 18 months ago and since the split we agreed on shared custody of my 4yr old daughter. I have her 16 nights a month, which is more than her mother, and I also have her half sister for 12 nights a month as her mother works nights and so I agreed to help out. I do not pay any maintenance and this was something we both agreed upon as I have her so much. My question is to whether I am able to claim any benefits rather than my ex as me and my current partner do all the driving (28 miles per trip) to collect the children plus we provide all meals as they are fed breakfast and dinner each day from us and schools provide their lunches. Also, which is the best way to have all of our arrangements put down in writing so none of the parties can go back on the agreement.
Anon2521 - 16-Aug-17 @ 10:16 AM
Hi, my ex only has our children for 20 nights of the year meaning he doesn't qualify for shared care under the cms rules, at the moment on our cms agreement he is down as having 'shared care band a' as that is what he used to have. I have spoken to him about this and he has refused to agree that he now has the children less. From what I have read the cms need agreement from both parents to change the shared care band or you need to provide evidence. What kind of evidence would they need as I'm not sure what I could provide to prove he has them less. Thanks
Mjm99 - 14-Aug-17 @ 3:08 PM
Hi there could you help me with some advice please. I have share custody with me daughter of 8 years old and have done for a number of years which was agreed between us as parents. I have always payed for my daughter every week by bank transfer (standing order) from my account to her mothers never missing any payments even when I was out of work. Even though I am the ones that buys her new clothes constantly and taking her out on day trips etc. I have my daughter a minimum of 3 days a week and at most 5 days a week sleep over ( I keep records in Callander).The passed few weeks things have turned sour between us and my ex! 3 weeks ago we agree over txt messages ( which I have saved) that I won't have to pay weekly maintenance for my daughter anymore and she agreed to. In my eyes i pay and do everything I can for my daughter by providing everything she needs with out paying her mother a wage to. Also me and my partner of 4 years have just had our baby girl of 5months I am not claiming no benefits at all I never have I am a hard working farther. Now the ex is now going back on our agreement of joint custody and wants me to pay maintenance weekly again and threading me with CSA. Can she do this???? And is she actually entitled to CSA?? My ex claims all benifits there is to claim child, housing etc etc. Also works """part time""" hint hint. I have Always keep records of the agreements we made between us as parents. Days my daughter stay over on a weekly basis. Bank transfer records. What can I do am getting sick of these ideal threats about money??
Hugz - 7-Aug-17 @ 12:46 PM
Charlie- Your Question:
Me and my expartner spilt up tryed live together forsake of children. We have two girl plus his son always lived with us. I asked him to leave he refused as he wanted to keep all 3kids together as his son wanted to stay with his dad. Things got really difficult to point where I had leave the house and my girls. Council got me 2bed flat in same village where my children are,3 weeks later. I asked my expartner if my girls can come and live with me he had already put claims in for child benefit n child tax. He allows me to have them 3days but I want to be there lives with school etc. I carnt afford to do things I wanna do with them as iam on low income he won't give me money.

Our Response:
You would have to seek legal advice about taking the matter to court. The fact you are the mother, doesn't automatically award you the role as the primary carer of your children. Each parent with parental responsibility has equal rights to bring up their children. Neither is your ex entitled to give you money. In fact, your ex will be entitled to claim child maintenance from you if he is the primary carer. You may be able to seek some free legal advice from Citizens Advice here .
ChildSupportLaws - 3-Aug-17 @ 2:26 PM
Me and my expartner spilt up tryed live together forsake of children. We have two girl plus his son always lived with us. I asked him to leave he refused as he wanted to keep all 3kids together as his son wanted to stay with his dad. Things got really difficult to point where I had leave the house and my girls. Council got me 2bed flat in same village where my children are,3 weeks later. I asked my expartner if my girls can come and live with me he had already put claims in for child benefit n child tax. He allows me to havethem 3days but I want to be there lives with school etc. I carnt afford to do things I wanna do with them as iam on low income he won't give me money.
Charlie - 2-Aug-17 @ 7:39 PM
Jane89121321 - Your Question:
My ex is currently paying child maintenance for the children. He is refusing and has refused even prior to going through the csa to provide clothing during their 2 overnight stays every other week.Is there currently any legal obligation for the receiving parent of csa to have to provide the ex with clothing during their overnight stays?

Our Response:
There are no laws to specify this, this should be agreed between you.
ChildSupportLaws - 31-Jul-17 @ 1:40 PM
Me - Your Question:
Hi,I left the marital home end of May because of an abusive and controlling husband toward me and my 3 boys (17-14 and 11). I am getting divorce for domestic abuse.Recently my husband has put all my belongings (clothes) in bags, We have a joint tenancy agreement and my Landlord does not reply to my text.He refusing me to see my children and they are not replying to my texts. Today I received a letter as he ask for Child Maintenance. Do I need to pay? How does it work?Thank you

Our Response:
I am sorry to hear this. If you have a letter regarding child maintenance, then by law every non-resident parent has to financially support their children, if they are earning. Please see link here will tell you all you need to know. You can also see more via the CAB link here about what happens to your home if you separate. I hope this helps.
ChildSupportLaws - 31-Jul-17 @ 11:17 AM
My ex is currently paying child maintenance for the children. He is refusing and has refused even prior to going through the csa to provide clothing during their 2 overnight stays every other week. Is there currently any legal obligation for the receiving parent of csa to have to provide the ex with clothing during their overnight stays?
Jane89121321 - 30-Jul-17 @ 5:47 AM
Hi, I left the marital home end of May because of an abusive and controlling husband toward me and my 3 boys (17-14 and 11). I am getting divorce for domestic abuse. Recently my husband has put allmy belongings (clothes) in bags,We have a joint tenancy agreement and my Landlord does not reply to my text.He refusing me to see my children and they are not replying to my texts. Today I received a letter as he ask for Child Maintenance. Do I need to pay? How does it work? Thank you
Me - 28-Jul-17 @ 1:53 PM
Cazo - Your Question:
Hi my son's ex has texted him saying she has a letter from csa saying he has to pay her £23 a week for his two children, he has them Friday - Sunday every week then all the school holidays. Csa has not been in touch with him about this. I have told him to get in touch with the csa to find out if she is entitled to this amount every week he is zero hours contract, he gets paid fortnightly only gets 120 wage most times.

Our Response:
Your son can see how much he should be paying via the CMS link here .
ChildSupportLaws - 24-Jul-17 @ 2:44 PM
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