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Domestic Violence and Contact

By: Abigail Taylor - Updated: 20 Sep 2017 | comments*Discuss
 
Domestic Violence Abuse Abuser Children

The Government defines Domestic Violence as "Any incident of threatening behaviour, violence or abuse (psychological, physical, sexual, financial or emotional) between adults who are or have been intimate partners or family members, regardless of gender or sexuality."

Domestic abuse is rarely a 'one-off' incident. Abusers generally demonstrate a pattern of abuse. In March 2013, the Government extended their definition of Domestic Violence to include 16 and 17 year olds as 'adults' within the definition. This was in recognition of the increasing number of teenage girls who suffer domestic abuse at the hands of (an often older) sexual partner. This change has also been marked by a TV campaign highlighting examples of emotional abuse, to raise awareness amongst younger people.

In times of economic recession, domestic abuse often increases, and this year is no exception. In 2013, the Citizens Advice Bureau reported an 11% increase in the number of people seeking help from them for domestic violence related matters.

How do you prove Domestic Violence in court?

"Hi, I am a single mother of 2 children who are both under the age of 5. They have been through too much emotional and physical damage during the past 2 years due to the separation of me and their father. He has been physically violent towards me and verbally abusive towards me in front of the kids. They're very traumatised; also their behaviour has regressed since this situation has started. The paternal family dispute all of this in front of a social worker who has now placed the children on the CPS register and are holding a conference this week Wednesday. How can I prove his abusive conduct in court?"

There are obvious problems in trying to prove domestic violence in court:

  • a) Domestic violence is often disputed by the perpetrator's family and friends. Sometimes this is a malicious attempt to derail an ex-partner's case, but more commonly, it is because it is hard to believe someone you know and love could be an abuser (particularly when the perpetrator will often act differently around others).
  • b) Domestic violence usually happens behind closed doors, when there are no witnesses. Perpetrators will act differently around others and will often only abuse their victims when there are no witnesses. Perpetrators are often very clever to hide any evidence (for example ensuring that any bruises are in areas not seen by others).

Courts will always prefer concrete evidence (written documents or photographs) for the simple reason that these are hard to refute. In the case of domestic abuse, it is not always possible to get this kind of evidence, so how can you prove abuse in court?

  • 1) Take photographs (preferably time-dated) of any injuries. If possible, also attend your local doctor's surgery as they can formerly record any injuries, and may be able to suggest a possible cause for these at a later date to the court.
  • 2) Record any abuse in a diary with dates/times/location etc all detailed.
  • 3) Where any incident is clearly against the law, report it to the police so that they can provide a report to the court.
  • 4) If any neighbours heard anything, ask to provide a witness statement. They will probably not be allowed to give evidence of what you have told them (as this is hearsay), but can give evidence as to what they saw/heard themselves.

Is Domestic Violence a barrier to contact?

"My daughter has an 11month old boy and the father is on the birth certificate. However, he physically abused her and smashed the house up, and only served a few months for this. He has history of threatening behaviour and also assaulting his own mother and brother. My daughter is worried that he may be allowed access to his son. Surely this cannot be right with his history."

Under Section 8 of the Human Rights Act 1998, everyone has the right to private and family life. Numerous researchers have also found that children are better to have contact with both their parents. Parents therefore both have a right to contact with their children, even if they have committed crimes in the past. This right does not change, even if one parent has committed domestic abuse, or any other crime, and whether they have been imprisoned or not.

Clearly in some cases (particularly those where one parent has a tendency towards violence), contact with children will cause concern. However just because a parent has a right to contact, does not mean that they have a right to simply take their children anywhere they like for a period of time; restrictions can, and will, be placed on contact between an abusive parent and their children (provided that abuse such as a tendency towards violence can be proven).

Types of contact

There are several types of contact:
  • General contact (free and unrestricted). This may also include overnight stays.
  • Contact with the assistance of a Children and Family Support Centre (usually to "hand-over" children so that parents do not have to meet)
  • Supervised contact (fully supervised contact at a Family Support Centre which neither the child nor the parent is allowed to leave during the session)
  • Indirect contact (such a letters, telephone conversations, email, Skype)
In cases of proven violence (such a physical domestic abuse to the other parent), the abusive parent is likely to only be allowed supervised contact.

This means that at a pre-arranged time (for example once a week on a Saturday morning from 10-12), you would take your child to a local Family Support Centre. You can then choose to stay in a different room, or leave your child with the centre and return to pick them back up. The abusive parent would attend the centre at the pre-arranged time and be allowed contact with their child / children in a large room, overseen by one of the Support Centre workers. Centres often have various toys etc, so contact usually takes the form of playing a game/colouring etc together.

The abusive parent would not be allowed (in cases of fully-supervised contact) to leave the centre with the child/children, and a centre worker will be present in the room with them at all times.

It is in extremely rare circumstances when contact would not be allowed.

In ordering contact, the court must consider the child's welfare. One factor considered will be the child's ascertainable wishes and feelings. However these are unlikely to be given much weight until the child has a suitable level of understanding (usually at about 14 years old). The court will also be careful to ensure that any wishes expressed by your child, are not your imposed views, but rather their own decision. Your child will usually be interviewed by a specially trained CAFCASS officer who will report back to the court in this regard.

Can I refuse to allow contact?

"Hi my husband and I split up nearly 2 years ago and we have a five year old daughter. He's never paid any child support for her but still had access to her whenever he wanted. Recently I refused him access until he accepts responsibilities as her father but he's threatening to take me to court. At the end of our relationship he was very abusive and violent and got arrested a couple of times for beating me up which my daughter witnessed so social services were involved. Every chance he gets he tries to poison my daughter against me and my partner. Where do I stand in refusing to allow him contact?"

If no court order has been made in relation to contact, and your child resides solely with you, you can refuse to allow the other parent contact with their child. If they wish to challenge this however, they can take you to court and you would have to explain your reasons to a judge, with evidence. If they are not satisfied by your reasons, they will order contact to take place. It is therefore always best to be reasonable. For example, would indirect contact resolve your concerns, or could contact take place supervised, at a relative's house?

If a court order is made, you can physically prevent contact, however, to do so would make you in contempt of court. The punishments for contempt of court range in severity from a small fine to imprisonment. However also bear in mind that the court does have the power if it considers it appropriate, to reverse a residential order, giving your former partner custody of your child, and you contact/visitation rights. Whilst this is unlikely in domestic abuse cases, it is worth bearing in mind that the courts do not take failure to comply with orders lightly.

What restrictions can be put on an abusive parent?

One worry for many parents who have been abused by a former partner is that in allowing them contact with your child/children, you retain a link with them, that will lead to them constantly pestering/harassing you. Even if you do not speak to your partner directly to arrange contact (using a Family Contact Centre so that you never see them face-to-face), young children can quite easily reveal where you live (often not understanding why you would not want their other parent to know). If you have problems as a result of allowing contact or contact being ordered, you can seek some protection from the courts:

Non-molestation Order
This order prevents your ex-partner from using or threatening violence against you (which of course is against the law anyway), and also stops them harassing or pestering you. [Note that breach of a non-molestation order is now a criminal offence, as well as an act that can be dealt with by the civil courts.]

Occupation Order
This can be used to regulate who lives in your family home (and remove an abusive partner). However it can also be used to prevent the abuser entering the area surrounding your home, in order to keep them away from your home.

Restraining Order
This order prevents someone from carrying out a particular, specified action. A non-molestation is a type of restraining order. However you may also be given other types of restraining orders if necessary (one usual example I have seen is the use of a restraining order to prevent one party giving out the other party's new phone number to third parties, after he had given their previous number to over a dozen cold-calling companies and advertised it as a "sex-chat line" on the internet.

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[Add a Comment]
Hi my partner is separated from her husband and they have a child together but he was abusive and violence with her and he was also charged with child neglect. She has stopped him from seeing his child . What rights does she have as he is saying she cant do that ??
Tom - 20-Sep-17 @ 6:36 PM
What happens when you as a father are attacked by the mother and when you contact the police they brush it under the carpet on three separate occasions but when the mother puts in a false allegation of assault the police are suddenly interested and your word as black man vs a white woman means nothing? and your solicitor tells you to plead guilty as you being black you would not stand a chance with the truth vs a white woman ! so this has lead to a 5 year injunction order and i have not seen my kids for 3 years! the fake mother dodges family court hearings for me to see my children, some women use this to their own advantage to prevent dads seeing their kids .
ty - 18-Sep-17 @ 11:13 PM
Emily - Your Question:
Hi I was wondering if you can help me, I have been to court with my ex they have ordered a section 7 report to be done, at the moment my ex gets to see my kids in a contact centre as he hit and beat me infront of our children my son also has needs he has fits im so worried that the next court hearing my ex will get over night visits, im worried about how my son will deal with this and if he fits and im not there, will the court just give my ex what he wants or take my sons needs into account? Many thanks

Our Response:
The most important thing the court will decide upon is the needs of your child. This is seen as the first and foremost priority when making any decision regarding an order. If you are unhappy about the report, it is important that you let the court know about your concerns.
ChildSupportLaws - 18-Sep-17 @ 1:45 PM
Hi i was wondering if you can help me, i have been to court with my ex they have ordered a section 7 report to be done, at the moment my ex gets to see my kids in a contact centre as he hit and beat me infront of our children my son also has needs he has fits im so worried that the next court hearing my ex will get over night visits, im worried about how my son will deal with this and if he fits and im not there, will the court just give my ex what he wants or take my sons needs into account? Many thanks
Emily - 15-Sep-17 @ 8:10 PM
@chucky- It's a police warning - if your b/f is seen near your house - then your b/f can be arrested.
Jude - 12-Sep-17 @ 3:12 PM
Shine - Your Question:
Hello.im also living with abusive partner we have 4 years old daughter. The abuses me almost every day.very living for 5 years together. I just couldn't leave because my income is not that big and I cannot afford it to rent a flat for me and my daughter so I need to stay with him. He's drinking almost every day and especially when he's is drunk he starting abuse me. That I'm cheating on him. That I'm big layiàr that I'm stealing his bear and giving away to my another's mens{wich not exist) that I giving home keys for a strangers that they could come in when we at work. That I'm doing everything bad. That he's giving me money and how I could not make dinner how I'm not looking after home.just because tthat he earns big money he acting with me like I'm worthless.also I don't have a friend's can't talk with my neighbours because scared to much that he will cause me again for something. Hes grabing my phone if some alerts coming thinking who Is writing to me. And many many thigshes saying to me. Worst thing is when he's shauting on me and all people in street can heard him.my daughter also hearing when he's abusing me. I need advice.i want to leave him but my income is not big.im working up to 30 hours a week usually just 20 hours.so I cannot move out.i just can't stand it Anymore.please give me some advice

Our Response:
You may wish to speak to someone directly through the likes of Woman's Aid, please see link here. Its trained advisers can offer guidance and support and help you to explore your options.
ChildSupportLaws - 12-Sep-17 @ 11:15 AM
Had the police called out for the 1St time ever due to domestic incident with my bf...ss have gotten involved & they come to see me for the 1st time & made me sign a written agreement which states that my bf cant come to my house or near my child but is not a legal document ,,,,,!! don't understand why they have done this written agreement even tho he wasnt charged no further action or no bail conditions..so why have they put this in place... there hasn't ever been any other incidents between.
chucky - 11-Sep-17 @ 11:39 PM
Hello.im also living with abusive partnerwe have 4 years old daughter. The abuses me almost every day .very living for 5 years together. I just couldn't leave because my income is not that big and I cannot afford it to rent a flat for me and my daughter so I need to stay with him. He's drinking almost every day and especially when he's is drunk he starting abuse me. That I'm cheating on him. That I'm big layiàr that I'm stealing his bear and giving away to my another's mens{wich not exist) that i giving home keys for a strangers that they could come inwhen we at work. That I'm doing everything bad.That he's giving me money and how I could not make dinner how I'm not looking after home...just because tthat he earns big money he acting with me like I'm worthless.also I don't have a friend's can't talk with my neighbours because scared to much that he will cause me again for something.Hes grabing my phone if some alerts coming thinking who Is writing to me. And many many thigshes saying to me. Worst thing is when he's shauting on me and all people in street can heard him.my daughter also hearing when he's abusing me . I need advice.i want to leave him but my income is not big.im working up to 30 hours a weekusually just 20 hours.so I cannot move out...i just can't stand it Anymore.please give me some advice
Shine - 11-Sep-17 @ 12:53 AM
The father of my child has recently been sentenced to 10 years in prison for 2 things he did to me. There is a restraining order in place stating he cannot contact me or be around my house/ work. He was abusive to me but not to the child at any point. Our child is 1 and his family are in touch. If he is requesting to see her am I allowed to take my child to see him in prison? I do not feel comfortable with anyone else taking her to visit him. ( the visits would not be regular)
My Numbrr - 10-Sep-17 @ 9:23 PM
Ajk - Your Question:
Hello I have a few questions but first I'll state what has happened. My ex the father of my 1 1/2 year old son has always been controlling a lazy parent nit paying much attention to his son and only pays alot of attention to him when his parents are down to visit. His always had a drinking problem and has continually been abusive towards me using words and threatening me with social services accusing me of being a terrible mother yet I do everything for our son. He was drinking and he smashed up my house and dragged me around my sons bedroom by my hair whilst our son was in my arms and smacked me in the face a few time the police were called and he is being charged for criminal damage but not for the assault against me as I didn't write a statement as everything happened so fast but a family member did. Now I was wondering if there is a way to only let him see his son under supervision? If I could stop him having him overnight as he has money idea how to get him to sleep or what he eat? And as his threatened to take my son and go to Scotland where his family live if there was a way I could stop him from taking our son out of England? I any help would be much lying appreciated as I'm at my wits end!

Our Response:
You can withdraw access from your ex. However, if you will not consent to mediation then he will be able to apply to court. If you fear your ex may take your children out of the area without your consent, then you can apply through court for a Prohibited Steps Order. A PSO, is an order granted by the court in family cases which prevents either parent from carrying out certain events or making specific trips with their children without the express permission of the other parent. This is more common in cases where there is suspicion that one parent may leave the area with their children. As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the child in question. The court will always put the child’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order.
ChildSupportLaws - 8-Sep-17 @ 3:28 PM
Hello I have a few questions but first I'll state what has happened. My ex the father of my 1 1/2 year old son has always been controlling a lazy parent nit paying much attention to his son and only pays alot of attention to him when his parents are down to visit. His always had a drinking problem and has continually been abusive towards me using words and threatening me with social services accusing me of being a terrible mother yet I do everything for our son. He was drinking and he smashed up my house and dragged me around my sons bedroom by my hair whilst our son was in my arms and smacked me in the face a few time the police were called and he is being charged for criminal damage but not for the assault against me as I didn't write a statement as everything happened so fast but a family member did. Now I was wondering if there is a way to only let him see his son under supervision? If I could stop him having him overnight as he has money idea how to get him to sleep or what he eat? And as his threatened to take my son and go to Scotland where his family live if there was a way I could stop him from taking our son out of England? I any help would be much lying appreciated as I'm at my wits end!
Ajk - 8-Sep-17 @ 12:17 PM
Jj - Your Question:
Hi I have a no mol on ex husband hr had contact with my daughyer upto fathers day. He then demanded mo ey from me that I refused so he has cut all contact witb my little girl as a punishment to me and her. He is a sicko. My daughter has been heartbroken. He threatened to tell her loads of awful things. I now want to refuse any contact. Can I be in any trouble if I do this??

Our Response:
If your ex is not demanding contact with your/his daughter, then you are within your rights to refuse contact if he requests it again. His option would be to then apply to court. If there is a court contact order already in place, the court would either enforce the order or not. Likewise if there is no order in place, the court would decide what it thinks is in the best interests of your child. As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the child in question. The court will always put the child’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order.
ChildSupportLaws - 31-Aug-17 @ 3:12 PM
Hi i have a no mol on ex husband hr had contact with my daughyer upto fathers day. He then demanded mo ey from me that i refused so he has cut all contact witb my little girl as a punishment to me and her. He is a sicko. My daughter has been heartbroken. He threatened to tell her loads of awful things. I now want to refuse any contact. Can i be in any trouble if I do this??
Jj - 30-Aug-17 @ 9:16 PM
I have just left the family home with my two children after years of verbal abuse and recent incidents of physical aggression (leaving no marks) frequently infront of the children. 1st q: they ask not to be alone with him as they are frightened of him (they are 6 and 9yrs) I feel his behaviour is volatile when around them and he frequently criticised them and shouts at them even when I'm not with them. I don't have much evidence other than what I'm hoping to gather from a couple of people that he has been verbally offensive to when the kids were with him so they witnessed it. How likely is it that a court will stipulate supervised access? Obviously I'm concerned that the court will go with unsupervised access and fear for their well-being. 2nd question: he is insisting that I allow them contact with him now and that I return them to his care in the family home. I am terrified that I will be made to do this (by lawyers/police?) even before it goes to court... can this happen? 3rd question: I've been told by social workers that I mustn't allow him to speak to the children on the phone as he could manipulate them and upset them. Am I within my right May to do this while we are waiting for legal decisions? Last question: I've been told by solicitors that it is illegal for me to change their school but I've also been told by social workers that it will be seen as negligent of me not to change their school as in their current school he has rights to collect them and take them into his care: thereby I would be allowing a dangerous risk seeing as I have concerns of his fitness to care for them without supervision.. what is the right thing to do??? I don't want to do anything illegal but at the same time I need to do everything possible to safegaurd their well-being.
Kk - 18-Aug-17 @ 11:30 PM
Hi My husband is current on bail and charged with abuse and resisting arrest whilst our 5 (2 mine and 3 his) children were present.He has never been physically violent with me or the children just verbally abusive when he had too much to drink.He is an alcoholic and is due to be admitted into rehab in the next few days.My problem is that due to the bail charges I am unable to contact him and it is breaking my heart - I love my husband and all I want is for him to get sober and come home - any advice is greatly received.
Heartbroken - 14-Aug-17 @ 2:55 PM
@Lozza - you would have to apply to court :(
Elle - 10-Aug-17 @ 11:24 AM
Hi I'm trying to apply for a passport for my son but my violent ex partner wnt agree because he's has my last name now cause he wanted it changing he hasn't seen him in years or doesn't contact to speak to him etc what do I do so that my son can go on holiday he's just being spitefull cause it's not in his name
Lozza - 8-Aug-17 @ 10:13 PM
Loz - Your Question:
Hi, I was in a relationship with my ex for 7 years, he was abusive to me and he beat me up infront of the kids I have pictures of bruises, I have a non molestation order out againist him, but now he has applied to court for child contact saying that I was abusive to him?? I am worried that he will get his own way and I wont get supervised visits with him and my kids they will not be safe with him

Our Response:
Where DV is concerned, any reports or orders that have been issued as a result will mean that Cafcass will get involved. A Cafcass reporter will interview both parents in the case, as well as the children, and any others who might be needed, which could mean social workers, medical professionals, or even relatives. From the interviews Cafcass conduct, the reporter will determine two things: whether there should be contact allowed, and, if so, how much. It’s a measure of how important the Cafcass recommendation is that the court will almost invariably adhere to it. Of course, they’ll also want to interview any children involved, as long as they’re old enough. Part of the responsibility of the court is to take the wishes of the children into account where possible, although that doesn’t mean that will necessarily happen. The court will first and foremost always decide upon what it thinks is in your children's best interests.
ChildSupportLaws - 4-Aug-17 @ 11:19 AM
Hi, i was in a relationship with my ex for 7 years, he was abusive to me and he beat me up infront of the kids i have pictures of bruises, i have a non molestation order out againist him, but now he has applied to court for child contact saying that i was abusive to him?? I am worried that he will get his own way and i wont get supervised visits with him and my kids they will not be safe with him
Loz - 3-Aug-17 @ 7:30 PM
Sunburst1 - Your Question:
Hello there, just looking for some advice. My children's father, let's call him N, split up 6 years ago. We were not married but he is on our two children's birth certificates. They are 7 and almost 9. Two months ago I moved in with my partner J. He has a daughter who is 6 and she was here the same weekend as my two (they are with their dad every other weekend but that was not arranged through court and he pays maintainence calculated through the CSA based on this arrangement.Ten days ago J and I had an argument and the police were called by me. He had shoved me but not hit me and he was taken by the police and came back a few hours later. No further action was taken and after social services spoke to both me and his daughters mum they are satisfied that no one is at risk. The kids went to their dads at the time of the incident and I have only been allowed to see them twice since. We have agreed I will move out am I am looking for somewhere. Since then N and his parents have been extremely obstructive in allowing me to see the children and have been poisoning them against me and he is now refusing to confirm when they will be allowed to come back and live with me. I have always been resident parent, they are registered at school at this address, he pays maintenance based on our own custody agreement and he is refusing to let them return to this address or let me know when I can have them back - he will not confirm once I have a new property that is when they can live with me again. Basically no external agency is concerned about my or my children's welfare and I have taken all the steps they and my family have asked but I am not getting much help from them and if I were to bring them back to this house and J stays with his parents does their father have any right to take me to court over it? I am entitled to legal aid due to a MARAC letter from a charity I've been in touch with and I am not saying I won't move out (even if I didn't police and SS have no concerns) but I cannot be kept away from my children any more, my son is very upset and when I speak to them on the phone it is clear they feel unable to tell me anything as their dad is listening and monitoring when I call them. He said he had a sore throat but when I asked him yes or no questions he said he misses me and wants to come back or at least be able to see me. This has been going on for ten days now and I am starting to take legal advice tomorrow and am "allowed" to see my children on Tuesday. I would like some advice on the possible action he could take if I bring them back to our usual permanent address based on the facts that they are not even at risk, I have a child protection officer who is a friend and she has said he would be laughed out of the door taking me to court because of the fact myself and J had an argument! Thanks in advance.

Our Response:
Unfortunately, in incidences such as this, if both parents have Parental Responsibility then the police cannot intervene to take the child off one parent and give them back to the other. The police cannot choose between parents, that is the remit of the courts. We cannot predict what a court may decide, except to say it will make a decision based upon what it thinks is in the best interests of the children.
ChildSupportLaws - 31-Jul-17 @ 12:59 PM
Hello there, just looking for some advice. My children's father, let's call him N, split up 6 years ago. We were not married but he is on our two children's birth certificates. They are 7 and almost 9. Two months ago I moved in with my partner J. He has a daughter who is 6 and she was here the same weekend as my two (they are with their dad every other weekend but that was not arranged through court and he pays maintainence calculated through the CSA based on this arrangement. Ten days ago J and I had an argument and the police were called by me. He had shoved me but not hit me and he was taken by the police and came back a few hours later. No further action was taken and after social services spoke to both me and his daughters mum they are satisfied that no one is at risk. The kids went to their dads at the time of the incident and I have only been allowed to see them twice since. We have agreed I will move out am I am looking for somewhere. Since then N and his parents have been extremely obstructive in allowing me to see the children and have been poisoning them against me and he is now refusing to confirm when they will be allowed to come back and live with me. I have always been resident parent, they are registered at school at this address, he pays maintenance based on our own custody agreement and he is refusing to let them return to this address or let me know when I can have them back - he will not confirm once I have a new property that is when they can live with me again. Basically no external agency is concerned about my or my children's welfare and I have taken all the steps they and my family have asked but I am not getting much help from them and if I were to bring them back to this house and J stays with his parents does their father have any right to take me to court over it? I am entitled to legal aid due to a MARAC letter from a charity I've been in touch with and I am not saying I won't move out (even if I didn't police and SS have no concerns) but I cannot be kept away from my children any more, my son is very upset and when I speak to them on the phone it is clear they feel unable to tell me anything as their dad is listening and monitoring when I call them. He said he had a sore throat but when I asked him yes or no questions he said he misses me and wants to come back or at least be able to see me. This has been going on for ten days now and I am starting to take legal advice tomorrow and am "allowed" to see my children on Tuesday. I would like some advice on the possible action he could take if I bring them back to our usual permanent address based on the facts that they are not even at risk, I have a child protection officer who is a friend and she has said he would be laughed out of the door taking me to court because of the fact myself and J had an argument! Thanks in advance.
Sunburst1 - 30-Jul-17 @ 12:46 PM
Dugee - Your Question:
My babys father became abusive shortly after our little one was born. He was physically abusive on lots of occasions. The last time I was hospitalized with very serious injuries that needed surgery. He was convicted of Gbh and is currently serving a prison sentance for this. On release I am concerned he will want visitation, which I am not happy to agree to over safety for me and my spouse. Because of his conviction will he be even aloud to apply or seek legal advice to have contact. ? Im so worried I've been through so much already.

Our Response:
He will be allowed to seek legal advice. However, if you were hospitalised as a result and received serious injuries, Cafcass would conduct an investigation into this. In cases of proved domestic violence, the court had to weigh the seriousness of the domestic violence, the risks involved and the impact on the child. If you have proven domestic violence and injuries, then this will seriously impact on any decision made by the court.
ChildSupportLaws - 28-Jul-17 @ 10:02 AM
@Unsuremum - If the dad has had no contact with his/your child, then you don't have to allow him access if he gets in touch. While he can take it to court - it's not likely a court would offer unsupervised contact due to the time lapse of the dad not seeing your child. Also if you can prove his current g/f has a drugs record or works in the adult sex business then this will work in your favour. A court won't place a child in that environment unless unsupervised. C
XianT - 27-Jul-17 @ 12:34 PM
My babys father became abusive shortly after our little one was born. He was physically abusive on lots of occasions. The last time i was hospitalized with very serious injuries that needed surgery. He was convicted of Gbh and is currently serving a prison sentance for this. On release i am concerned he will want visitation, which i am not happy to agree to over safety for me and my spouse. Because of his conviction will he be even aloud to apply or seek legal advice to have contact. ? Im so worried I've been through so much already.
Dugee - 26-Jul-17 @ 5:47 PM
Hi, I hope you can help... My ex partner was convicted of domestic abuse/ violence towards me, I am now concerned over the child we share. Since the incident ( a year ago )he has had no form of contact with the child or helped with raising the child. He has recently got involved with a woman who is known for being in the adult sex business and class A drug user, where do I stand on asking for fully supervised contact as my child is only 3? I fear my child will be subject to witness yet more abuse, witness things children should not and this is a way my ex can intimidate and harass me? Thank you
Unsuremum - 25-Jul-17 @ 8:09 PM
Hi I have issues with my daughters dad, he has been emotionally abusive to me for a long as I can remember, whether or not its been down to something as little as wearing a certain top or makeup or wishing I died in labour or throwing a plate at me when I was pregnant. Since splitting up I have accepted that he has moved on with another lovely girl, however now I am 'dating' someone the abuse has returned. He is saying things like he 'hopes I die', 'hopes i get raped' threatening to 'smash' the guy I am datings 'head-in'. I feel trapped, I worry he will try and take my daughter away - not return her after his weekend. I don't know where I stand, I don't know what to do. Please can you give me some advice on this? I feel so trappped by the situation - like there is no way out.
kaylb232 - 6-Jul-17 @ 3:13 PM
My daughter has been beaten up by her boyfriend can I report him to the police will they do something about it even if my daughter won't
Mum - 6-Jul-17 @ 9:02 AM
Worried mum - Your Question:
I was in a relationship with an abusive man (when drunk only)for about 5yrs-5yrs ago, our son who is 5,has never met him but asking questions. I've recently asked around to check the dad's state and got in contact. They both are so in love from a phn call conversation and want to meet. My mum said the family wouldn't talk to me again.where do I go from here

Our Response:
We cannot advise whether you should allow the father to meet your child, the decision is yours. If you wish to negotiate and come to a firm agreement on how access/contact should take place, then you may wish to suggest mediation to your child's father. You can see more via the link here .
ChildSupportLaws - 30-Jun-17 @ 1:55 PM
I was in a relationship with an abusive man (when drunk only)for about 5yrs-5yrs ago, our son who is 5,has never met him but asking questions. I've recently asked around to check the dad's state and got in contact. They both are so in love from a phn call conversation and want to meet. My mum said the family wouldn't talk to me again..where do I go from here
Worried mum - 28-Jun-17 @ 9:20 PM
Hi. I suffered domestic violence in the early 80s by my ex husband. Back then it was not taken seriously by the police. I told no one during the 11 months I was married. It has affected me and my relationships ever since. I am approaching my 60th birthday and feel more than ever I need justice. Just to know someone of authority knocked on his door for answers. Is it too late.
Duke - 27-Jun-17 @ 7:44 AM
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