The Different Types of Contact Orders

Originally written by Abigail Taylor, updated by the editorial team on 26th July 2026

What is a contact order?

A contact order is a court order that sets out arrangements for a child to spend time with a parent or other family member they don't live with. These orders existed under the Children Act 1989 but were replaced by child arrangements orders in 2014. The term contact order no longer has legal standing, though some people still use it informally.

Child arrangements orders cover who the child should have contact with, how often that contact should happen, and what form it should take. They are most commonly made following separation or divorce, but grandparents, siblings, or other relatives who want to maintain a relationship with a child can also apply. The court will always treat the child's welfare as the main concern when deciding what arrangements to put in place.

An order might be quite general, simply stating that contact should take place at reasonable times agreed between the parties. Alternatively, it can be highly specific, setting out exact days, times, and locations. The level of detail often depends on how well the parents are able to communicate and cooperate with each other.

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Direct and indirect contact

Direct contact means the child spends time face to face with the other parent or family member. This is the most common type of contact and can take several forms depending on the circumstances.

Staying contact allows the child to stay overnight with the non-resident parent. This might be every other weekend, part of the school holidays, or another pattern that suits the family. Staying contact helps maintain a close relationship and gives the child a sense of belonging in both homes.

Visiting contact means the child spends time with the parent during the day but returns to their main home in the evening. This arrangement is sometimes used when a child is very young, when the parent does not have suitable overnight accommodation, or as a stepping stone towards staying contact.

Supervised contact may be ordered when there are concerns about a child's safety or wellbeing. The supervisor could be a trusted relative, a social worker, or a professional at a contact centre. Contact centres are neutral venues run by organisations such as the National Association of Child Contact Centres. They provide a safe space for children to see a parent when unsupervised contact is not yet appropriate. Supervised contact is often a temporary measure, and the court may review arrangements after a period of time.

Indirect contact does not involve the child and parent meeting in person. Instead, they keep in touch through phone calls, video calls, letters, cards, emails, or text messages. This type of contact may be appropriate when the non-resident parent lives far away and regular face to face meetings are not practical. Video calling can help maintain a relationship despite the distance.

Indirect contact is also used when there are serious concerns about a parent's behaviour. If there is a history of domestic abuse or substance misuse, the court may decide that direct contact poses too great a risk. In these cases, indirect contact allows some form of relationship to continue while keeping the child safe. The court can specify the type and frequency, such as phone calls twice a week at agreed times or cards sent on birthdays and at Christmas.

Your situation may be slightly different. ask a question below ↓ and our editorial team will reply with our advice.

How the court decides on contact arrangements

When making any decision about contact, the court uses the welfare checklist set out in the Children Act 1989. This includes considering the child's physical, emotional, and educational needs, the likely effect of any change in circumstances, and any harm the child has suffered or is at risk of suffering.

The court will also consider the child's own wishes and feelings, particularly as they get older. A teenager's views will usually carry more weight than those of a younger child, though the court is not bound to follow them.

Courts generally consider that contact with both parents benefits children, but this is not a presumption that overrides safety concerns. If there is evidence that contact would put the child at risk, the court can limit or refuse it entirely. Each case is assessed on its own facts.

If circumstances change after an order is made, either parent can apply to vary the arrangements. This might be necessary if work schedules shift, someone relocates, or the child's needs develop as they grow older.

Applying for an order and enforcement

Before applying to court, you will usually need to attend a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting to see whether disputes can be resolved without a hearing. Legal aid may be available for mediation if you meet income eligibility requirements and can provide evidence of domestic abuse or risk of harm.

If one parent breaches a child arrangements order by preventing contact or failing to return a child, the other parent can apply to the court for enforcement. The court has various powers, including imposing unpaid work requirements or, in serious cases, transferring residence of the child. Repeated breaches can result in contempt of court proceedings.

For current information on applying for a child arrangements order, including court fees and forms, check the GOV.UK website. Citizens Advice can also provide guidance on family law matters and help you understand your options.

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55 questions

Ask Child Support Laws a Question

sarah lou 21/09/2020 at 4:30 pm

My ex was ordered indirect access. Only one letter on a certain day each month. Or card and gift for birthday/Christmas. This remains in place until he hears abuse allegations which he withdrew from
Court as to not hear them and if they find him innocent. He has recently contacted my sons preschool and requested all photos and reports from them, can he do this?

Lisap85 07/05/2020 at 8:39 pm

Hi, my son was put with his father and an supervision order was made for 6 months, this was for me to see my son 6 times a year supervised however my ex never registered with that company and now the court order has passed he won’t allow any contact unless it’s with my daughter who is supervised however social services have said my son is not a priority as he’s not under them! Do I now have to apply to the court for contact? And how would I try see my son more as last time he didn’t want to let go of my dad and was crying his eyes out when contact was ending and we were told to tidy up, my son has never been emotional before so I’m concerned about him?? Any advice welcome please???

D 22/07/2019 at 3:13 pm

I have a injunction order on my violent ex partner also a prohibited steps order he sees my children 7 hours per week, social services are involved, I have met someone new now and he gone to court today to get a prohibited steps against him been around my children saying he takes drugs etc and has everdance which he has made up himself, will he get this order?

nicole 20/11/2018 at 2:29 pm

My ex partner and I never married and separated when I was pregnant. He has contact with my daughter through a court order. He would like to have overnights with my daughter. My daughter has been diagnosed as autistic, and I feel that she would not be able to cope with the change as she has never lived with her dad. He has said if I don't agree to overnights he will take me to court. He is on legal aid, where I am not. Can any one offer any advice on this please? Thanks

Shaunp2112 24/08/2018 at 11:11 pm

Hi. I have a contact order placed on me by the court for my best mate and 17 month old son. I am desperate to see him and I am wondering if I can do anything to sort out some form of contact as our next hearing will not be for another 4 weeks and I haven’t seen him for 4 weeks already. All I want is to play with him and hear him laugh etc. The reason I can’t see him is because my ex told the court I have mental health issues - she marched me to the doctors 6 months before we split and she told the doctor a load of lies because she felt I had depression. The relationship was toxic and I was controlled for the whole of it. Anyway, I also have a daughter due in December and if this continues and Cafcas decide to continue with an investigation I won’t even get to be there when she is born.

I need solid advice on what to do and how I can see my son and get access to my daughter when she is born. Thanks in advance

ChildSupportLaws Editor 12/12/2017 at 11:54 am

This would really be a matter for the courts to decide (if your girlfriend's ex will not consider mediation). While your girlfriend can keep her child without the other parent's consent (if there is no court/residency order in place to say the child can live with her father) it is never a good idea. As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the child in question. The court will always put the child’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order.

Johnny 11/12/2017 at 5:21 pm

Hi, I was wondering I'd anyone could help me. My girlfriend is cureentry in need of help.
Last Christmas she was suffering from bipolar disorder. She still is but has it under control now. During one of her low points she tried to take her life. Her mother then began to look after her two children . Her two children have two different fathers. One father was happy for his child to stay with my girlfriends mum. The other was not. So he took custody and got social sevices involved. After a few months sovial services advised that it was safe for the child to return to the mother. Insread of that though he moved away.. he has 4 children with his new wife and now his daughter that he had with my girlfriend. He does not even let her speak to her let alone see her. I want to know how to go about filing for custody with out a solicitor or what we can do? If there's no order existing can she just keep her daughter when she next sees her? Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thank you

Hann Editor 09/11/2017 at 12:18 pm

@Zee86 - if he has parental repsonsibilty you'd still have to ask him for permission to move abroad and still apply to court if he says no. This is a separate issue and needs to be dealt with separately. I doubt you'd get permission frm the courts to be able to move until after the court case.

Zee86 08/11/2017 at 5:38 pm

Hi ...I’ve just come out of a violent 7 yr marriage...We have two children together and he has made the usual threats that he will make sure I have nothing including kids because I left him.
To basically cut a very long story short, we were separated but living together as he just wouldn’t leave. i was reaching breaking point mentally and had to leave him and the home from May to September ....to break free....I left my children with him but spent almost every day with them throughout, just stayed away during nights.
When I came back to settle back in September he would not leave (home is in my name) so in October I had no other choice but to change the locks. After police involvement to remove him...he was arrested and questioned but released under investigation. Throughout these past weeks social services have been involved as my children have started to reveal some disturbing truths about what he’s put them through while I’d been away. Now the police want to charge him for his crimes against me and the children ....with photographic evidence of his violence and the statements given by the kids... I’m guessing from previous threats that I will have a pretty gruelling time in court with him over the foreseeable future.... is there a chance he will be able to stop me moving abroad with my kids for a fresh start with my new partner? And will it be likely due to his disturbing and violent history with the kids the the court will give me sole custody, if so will I have the right to take my children where I please and be truly free from this monster??

ChildSupportLaws Editor 07/11/2017 at 3:23 pm

Yes, you will be in breach of the contact order/in contempt of court, which comes with a warning attached.

Kiddies should be pr 07/11/2017 at 3:41 am

The child access order states the 13 & 11 year old must go from 10am Xmas eve to 5 pm Xmas day but the children have refused to go. Must I force them to go? Can I get in trouble if they refuse to go?

Kate 17/10/2017 at 10:53 pm

Hi
I am a single mother of 6 months old boy. His father left me 2 weeks before our son was born. When our son was 3 months he told me he doesn't remember us being so long together as he was using drugs (cocaine and weed). He keep changing his mind he want us to be friends or want to go to court. He hasn't contact or pay for 3 months. Now he told me he doesn't like me and don't want to see me anymore. He want to see his son but without me. He quite often was scaring me he will suisad if I will give birth to our baby. He wanted abortion I didn't argee. But that was before our son was born. He didn't have any contact with baby for 3 months. He didn't want to. Now he texted me he want to take baby away for whole day. I don't want to give him baby as I am scared what he will do. He is depressed as well but doesn't have any treatment as he decided he doesn't need it. What can I do to make sure my baby is safe?

ChildSupportLaws Editor 03/08/2017 at 4:05 pm

If this issue can not be resolved mutually by the parents, and your daughter's ex refuses to consider mediation, then your daughter can apply for a Specific Issue Order. Much like the name suggests, it is an order sought from the family court to determine a particular matter in connection with the exercise of Parental Responsibility. These orders can cover a wide range of issues that cannot be agreed on, such as; preventing someone from having contact with your child. As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the child in question. The court will always put the child’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order.

Pebbles 03/08/2017 at 8:25 am

Would appreciate advice for myself and daughter on how to proceed in applying for a child contact order for reasons of ensuring our 3week old grandaughter's safety. Our daughter seperared from her partner of 8yrs before the baby was born due to emotional abuse from her ex and his teenage daughter from a previous relationship
We were upset and shocked to learn of her ex's behaviour and the emotional abuse she endured from him and his teenage daughter of 15 His teenage daughter has always lived with her mum and has behaviour problems which impact on other family members and her school life and peers she has a history of bullying younger children and our daughter does not want her to have any contact what so ever with her baby daughter so as to ensure her safety. At the moment it is not a problem but we know that given time her ex will start to push for access for his daughter to see the baby as he has already said he wants her to get to know the baby. He also has a son of 11 whom our daughter is happy for him to come and visit. He ex has said once the baby is older he will spend time with her and his family. Please can you advise what our daughter needs to do in denying the teenager access. We ourselves have witnessed the girl's worrying behaviour for which she has a diagnosis of mild autism but we feel as do other family members on his side much of her behaviour is due to poor parenting skills by both parents throughout her young life. But we now have a duty to keep the baby safe what legally can we do

Tiny 22/04/2017 at 9:17 pm

Can anyone help please, I have my son who is 6 with my ex husband, we were married when he was born and his name is on his birth certificate. We are divorced and I have a child arrangements order stating no direct contact as the court believes my son would be in danger of significant harm.
I am re-marrying, he is in the army and being posted to Asia for 2 years, do I need my ex husbands permission to take my son? Thank you

ChildSupportLaws Editor 19/04/2017 at 11:08 am

Your ex can't take you to court unless mediation has been suggested (and refused) or attempted and negotiations have broken down. Mediation is seen as a legal requirement before a court application can be submitted. The primary reason is that mediation is an opportunity to come to a mutually agreed decision, one that both parents can take ownership of and want to ensure works. Mediation takes place in front of a neutral third party. The mediator has no pre-conceptions and will not force you to make an agreement. They will assist the two parties in taking turns in the conversation, and helping you reach a decision that you are ready to agree with. Mediators do not pass judgment or offer guidance; they are there, in effect, to facilitate conversation between the two sides. If you take the matter through mediation, then you can negotiate the reasons why you do not wish for your ex to have your son and try to resolve these issues.

Claire 18/04/2017 at 5:16 pm

I am currently sharing access with my ex husband. He has my son 4 nights one week so he can have a long weekend with him. The following week he has our son 2 nights. He is now wanting him an extra night in the second week. The only reason I have a problem with this is because my ex husband works from 5am - 2:30. Therefor leaves our son with his partner. I myself would not be at work on this day so I can take care of him myself. He is now saying he is going to take me to court for 50/50 access. Is there anything I can do about this as I don't see the need in somone else watching our son if he can be with his mam. Thanks

ChildSupportLaws Editor 16/02/2017 at 12:37 pm

If you can afford to get a solicitor to write a letter to your ex outlining the terms of the court order and warning him against giving verbal abuse when you have contact with your children, this may do the trick. Unless your ex significantly breaches the court order again you would have no grounds to take the matter back to court.

Marie 09/02/2017 at 5:20 pm

My ex partner has Breached my contact fo 16 weeks so I put in for an enforcement order with the court , been going to court since October last year on my hearing last month the judge has granted me over night stays and Unsupervised contact with my daughters in the future but my girls father keeps telling me it's not true I also have contact with my daughters twice a week for 2 hours on a Saturday and Wednesday's for an hour and all the time Ave been representing myself in court because I can't get legal aid anymore , But everytime I see my daughter's he's very verbally abusive to me and my son and it makes it very difficult to enjoy our contact with my little girls and it's also upsetting my little ones is there any help I cud get because of this situation be very happy for any legal advice thank you !!!

ChildSupportLaws Editor 09/02/2017 at 12:43 pm

If the original agreement was made in court, I'm afraid you would have to attempt to get the agreement enforced. If the agreement was not made through the courts, then you cannot have this enforced. Therefore, you would have to make a new application to the courts.

ChildSupportLaws Editor 09/02/2017 at 12:27 pm

The court is open to both parents having a relationship with their child(ren) and will do what it can to allow a parent/child relationship to develop. It is likely supervised contact will be awarded initially (unless there is a good reason why it shouldn't). However, this is impossible to predict as much depends upon what the Cafcass report reveals.

Anne 08/02/2017 at 8:05 pm

My ex husband and I have a legal agreement that allows me video chat time with my children twice a week. I have remarried and live in the US while they live in England. Whenever I call, he refuses to allow me to communicate with my children. I do not have a job here in the US so I have very limited ability to fly back and forth and hire more attorneys...what can I do to resolve this? Shouldn't the court go after him for breaching the legal agreement?

shanny 08/02/2017 at 6:27 pm

My sons father hasnt seen him in a year and a half which was his choice. He was discharged from the army for drugs & stealing. He was very rough with my son when he did see him. He disappeared with him before and wouldnt tell me where he was at my son was 1 and a half at the time. Hes only wanting to see him now because my partner is more like a father to my son. If it goes to court what will the chances be that he'll get supervised contact? I dont want him near my son he cant be trusted

ChildSupportLaws Editor 07/02/2017 at 12:39 pm

Child maintenance and child access are separate issues. If you think your ex is not paying enough (you can see via CMS link here), then you have every right to claim. I'm not quite sure what you are asking with regards to your second question, but if you are unhappy with the arrangement and you can't agree between you, then you may wish to consider attending mediation.

Little 06/02/2017 at 9:34 pm

My son is 3 years old & over the 3 years I have had a family based agreement in place with his father for child maintenance but is very low to what he should be paying. I have asked for more money but being "fobbed" off. Should I now contact CSA?

My son dad has also now moved away which is a 2 hr drive each way. I have no idea where my son goes every other weekend. Why I don't want to stop my son seeing his dad I do want something that said my son "residential status" when with his father is at his father mum house aka Gran! This was where my son use to go & stay before his dad moved away & my son is very comfortable there & has his own toys etc! In his dad new house there is not that!?

Tubbsy 14/11/2016 at 8:55 pm

My daughter is one year old this month but the mother has refused me any contact, I have missed everything so far and I don't know what to do to help with this. I am not on the birth certificate and have been constantly denied any parental rights. I have suggested supervised visits and the mother has agreed but then a few days later I got told I am not allowed to see my daughter. This is what always happens and it isn't getting any better, I need help and can not afford legal help because I am in college and currently unemployed. I can not afford to help pay for anything for my daughter and I constantly get told this is my fault and I have been isolated due to lies everyone is told by the mother and then I end up on the receiving side of hatred. She is doing all she can to bully me and remove me from my daughter's life yet still blames me for it all, please help me and tell me what I should try to do.

ChildSupportLaws Editor 24/10/2016 at 2:24 pm

It is very rare a court will revoke a non-resident parent's parental responsibility. The court would have to have a very good reason.

Char 22/10/2016 at 5:52 pm

My daughter is now 8months old and her dad walked out on us when she was 3months old, he's had no contact with her since he left ( 5months ). I no we both have parental responsibility, but I want it full on my own . I don't no how to go about this ?

Dana 11/06/2016 at 12:26 pm

I am currently pregnant with my first child, however since finding out I was pregnant my now ex partner was very mixed on what to do, telling me he was happy then suddenly wanted me to have an abortion. I have decided to keep the baby, however my ex partner has now moved 500 miles away to Scotland, but still wants to be able to see the baby and be able to take the baby up to Scotland when he see's her. I feel uncomfortable with this and just wanted some advice on where I stand? Will he automatically be able to have the baby over night?

ChildSupportLaws Editor 27/05/2016 at 2:59 pm

I think in cases like this mediation may be the best way to get around an issue if neither parent can quite agree, but neither wish to fall out. This would give a more solid arrangement to any agreement reached, please see link: Mediation: What is it and is it For Me?

May25 26/05/2016 at 9:25 pm

My partner has had problems seeing his daughter since she was born. She is nearly 4 and things have started to get better and he now seeing her twice a week. He isn't on the birth certificate but has parental responsibility. His ex has just messaged him saying she would like set days a Tuesday and a Saturday. He works shifts, 2 days 2 nights 4 off. This means some weeks he would not be able to see his daughter as he will be working on one of the days and sleeping on the other after coming off of nights. We both understand the need for routine but his ex's reasons are that it doesn't fit around her work. Does he have any rights? Or is it best to get a court order?

Thanks!

ChildSupportLaws Editor 17/05/2016 at 10:15 am

If your ex is the father of your child then he will have the right to pursue the matter through the courts regardless of the life he leads. However, likewise you will have the right to have your say if you continue to deny him access and Cafcass gets involved through the process, please see link: What Goes into the Cafcass Family Report? here . If you have evidence of your ex harassing or stalking you, then you can approach the police, I hope this helps.

Gee 16/05/2016 at 11:13 am

My child's father is threatening to be allowed supervised visits then to be allowed to have her on his own which I strongly disagree with .. I have had to block his number due to the nasty messages he sends me however he has another phone which he withholds his number so I cannot stop him calling me or turning up at my house ! .. I want to know what his chances are he has been out of prison for just over a year , he has previous of harassing women, he has in total I think 11 children and another 1 on the way with 6/7 different women .. I only know him to live on his mums sofa don't know the address , I know for a fact he does drugs he even turned up in front of my child holding a joint .. I'm almost sure he is still selling drugs .. He has never paid me a penny or any other child that I know of he doesn't see any of the others as far as I know , I have never even spent a night with him it ended before I knew I was even pregnant , he stalks me , wants to know what I'm doing where I'm going who I'm with , I'm not allowed out , no way would I feel safe with my child being in his care

ChildSupportLaws Editor 22/02/2016 at 2:43 pm

Your ex cannot apply through the courts until you have either consented or refused Mediation. If you consent to Mediation, then it will be because you wish to sort out an amicable solution to the problem. However, Mediation is voluntary and you do not have to say yes. If you refuse the request, then your ex will have the option to take the matter to court.

Sam 21/02/2016 at 10:00 pm

I suffered domestic abuse and had to flee from my ex 3 years ago long story short went through courts social services 2 get prohibited steps also injunction was granted my son is now getting assessed 4 autism and sufferers hypomobility which affects his balance I've just got a letter 2 attend mediation all makes no sense as he doesn't care about my son he has had no contact is this a bullying tactic surely he Wud have 2 apply through the courts?

ChildSupportLaws Editor 09/02/2016 at 11:32 am

He only has 'legal' rights to overnight says if the court order says he can have his child/children overnight. Having PR and access are two different issues i.e he can have PR, but still not be allowed to see his child/children or have them overnight. If he is applying to extend the contact order, then he would have to apply for overnight stays in addition to this.

Pbear234 08/02/2016 at 7:18 pm

Hello my ex partner obtained PR through the courts. Is it correct that he has legal rights to overnights. Our contact order finishes soon so I'm trying to come up with a suitable contact.

Cinderella 11/11/2015 at 10:53 pm

My ex wasn't involved through my pregnancy with my son .. He got in contact two weeks before birth .. Was in and out of my sons life for first year ... Got lawyer as he was being demanding .. Set day and he stuck to it for maybe no more than month .. I had to rearrange time due to my son changing nap times ... He's now telling everybody that I've stopped him seeing our son ... Also his father is stopping my mum in street saying he's going to get access etc and I'm being unfair by stopping him seeing my son ... I have all the messages so I can prove he's lying .. What do I do as its making me ill :(

ChildSupportLaws Editor 21/10/2015 at 2:48 pm

The only way to gain access to your daughter is through the courts. If you can't afford the hefty legal fees, you can self-litigate, please see: Legal Aid Withdrawal: How to Represent Yourself, here. Your daughters are now of an age where their opinions regarding whether or not they wish to see you, will be taken into consideration.

Pippa 20/10/2015 at 7:24 pm

Hello I need help my daughters who are 15 and 18 older one has autism there father is controlling and he and his new wife are keeping the girls from getting contact with me at all. My eldest it's her birthday tomorrow and they wouldn't even let me give her a card, they have been away for a year now I'm not coping very well and it's causing upset I would like contact again any idea how to do this as I just keep being told I can't do anything because of there age

ChildSupportLaws Editor 06/10/2015 at 12:20 pm

I suggest, if your ex can't comply with a family-based arrangement, then you take this to the CMS, whichThere is no reason why he should withold child support. However, with regards to making your ex stick to an access routine, there is nothing you can do, if he decides he does not wish to see the children at specific times. You will have to agree/negotiate this between yourselves as unless/until there is a specific court order in place.

Sonya 05/10/2015 at 4:32 pm

Hi, I live with my 5 and 7yr old and have been dealing with solicitors for over a year as my husband wishes to divorce. However he has changed solicitors so many times that we have no agreements formalised and he has not issue the petition yet. We have not lived together as a family for three years now and he is becoming increasingly more difficult with contact arrangements - we had agreed he would have the children fortnightly for a weekend as he studied every other but he stopped early this year and has not increased contact time but instead started travelling abroad and missing contact times and insisting I be flexible yet on my son's birthday he insisted it was his weekend andI did not see him on his 5th birthday as he did not want to involve me at all - this weekend he insisted I drive the children to him and collect them but gave no reason - I suggested we meet half way as it would be a 3 hour return journey twice! He then started to threaten he would withdraw his 'voluntary support' if I did not bring the children to him! We owe solicitors thousands but he refuses to release funds from our joint account, school fees are overdue and I rely on his few hundred a month to pay bills as I cannot work for the next 3 months whilst I wait for my son to start school. Is it reasonable/legal that he withhold child support if I do not meet his demand to taxi the children to him all the way (I have done this in the past but this weekend I need to use the time to do house maintenance works myself which I cannot do whilst children are here)!? I would appreciate any guidance before I contact my solicitor again who is unpaid now for over a year!

lib 29/07/2015 at 1:08 pm

I have moved to a new job 200 miles away from my ex husband and he is demanding access evey fortnight to see his children. This will entail a 400 mile round trip for my children and he demands that I meet him half way en route. I am not able to do this as I work day and night shifts and my rota changes every few weeks. I have very little money as my ex does not pay any maintenance and I cannot afford the expense of travelling. He is threatening me with a court order although he rarely saw the children when I lived nearer to him. I have never refused him access and offered that they stay during schoolholidays but he will not commit to this. He phones the children daily saying that he will get the police to collect them if I do not agree to his wishes causing anxiety whilst they are trying to settle in their new home. Can he legally demand this of me?

SkyBlu77 28/07/2015 at 12:19 am

I also have a contact order in place & have full residency for my child .. My ex sees him weekends & although the order is meant to be flexible within reason .. My ex uses the order to bash me over the head with endless dictations .. I endured an abusive relationship with him where he bullied & controlled my friendships my family .. My entire life .. I finally broke free & now he Bullies me with threats of withholding maintenance .. Taking me to court to abuse me through the legal system it's never ending .. Refuses extra time with our son if I have to work .. Says he's not a babysitter .. If I'm 5 mins late out of work & not home for when he drops my child home even if I'm stuck in traffic .. He threatens to call the police .. Seriously? I kid you not .. I'm dealing with a complete narcissist .. Now I'm awaiting to go to court again to hear more lies & endure more emotional bullying .. With the courts help. My ex is in his element .. Loves the control bring able to do this every time .. At my wits end

nats 26/07/2015 at 6:45 pm

I have a 15 month old..i an not with her father..he didnt want to kno from the biginning and is not on the birth certificate..he lives a couple hours away from us and now sees her once or twice a month! As she doesnt know him yet and who he is to her..i stay with her when he comes to visit..do i have to let him have her on his own?

louw 19/07/2015 at 10:00 am

Hi my partner is currently going to court to have a court order put in place so he can see his daughter. I have two children to him and his ex is currently stopping his daughter from coming to our house to meet her siblings and bond with myself and him. I want to have contact with her to. However can she specify in court that I do not have contact with her at all? I have never been unreasonable with her I have gone round to her house to see the child and was civil to her, although she says I was not, there has never been a crossed word between us and when she spoke to me I spoke to her surely she can not stop me from seeing when my family will be seeing her.

ChildSupportLaws Editor 14/07/2015 at 10:31 am

@L.J - just because your ex is eligible to pay child support, it doesn't give him the natural right to see your son. You can refuse contact. However, as suggested in the article, your ex has the right to apply through the courts for access and it would be up to the courts to decide whether access should be granted on the basis of whether it is in the best interests of your child. I hope this helps.

L.J 11/07/2015 at 7:19 am

My ex husband left 12 years ago.our child has slight special needs and is now 13. He has never made contact and never paid child support. Now the CSA have found him and ordered his employer's to deduct child support from his salary. Now he has to pay he wants to see our son. Does he have rights? My son has never met him, at 13 does he have the right to refuse contact.
Please help me.

ChildSupportLaws Editor 16/06/2015 at 11:02 am

@Cee - access and financial support from your ex are two different areas and do not relate to each other. Your ex has to pay you child maintenance regardless of whether he sees your child, or not. If he is refusing to pay, you can take it to the CMS, As regards to access, it is up to you to arrange this between you. But it might be advisable that if he doesn't pay, you use and agency such as this, which will help you get the support you need. I hope this helps.

Cee 13/06/2015 at 11:25 am

What can I do with my ex boyfriend ? We have a child and she is 3 when we were dating he used to take care of her bought her all the nice stuff and name branded clothes and shoes. He cheated on me after 5years of dating. Now he have all kinds of excuses like his pay is late and he don't have money now. But he demands visitations. I told him he want her as a daughter but can't provide he tells me that its his child I can't keep him away. I won't keep them apart but he makes it difficult for me.

Beep 25/03/2015 at 5:53 pm

I have residency of my child following a divorce. A contact order is in place too. I'm constantly being threatened by my ex husband with courts/custody battles/withdrawal of money/abduction from school etc... He doesn't believe me when I state that residency remains in place until our child is 16. Or that the contact agreement stands. What can I do to stop these threats? It's making me ill dealing with his tantrums all the time.

Caz Editor 27/02/2015 at 2:35 pm

@dee - if you don't want them to go to your ex's overnight, it may have to go to the court who will decide. You can stick to supervised contact, if that is the original order. He will not have joint custody unless it has been awarded through the courts.

dee 26/02/2015 at 4:20 am

My 2 children have come off child protection and now on a child in need plan. Whilst on child protection my ex who was abusive to me and a heroin addict was allowed supervised contact at his mums house, which I agreed to. However since coming off the plan he's pushing for more unsupervised and over night at his own flat. He says he now has rights to joint custody. Any advice on what rights we both have is greatly appreciated

Debs Editor 29/01/2015 at 1:53 pm

@jacks - definitely not, this should be shared through both parents, one drops off and one picks up. You need to have a chat to your ex and ask him to pull his weight!

jacks 28/01/2015 at 12:34 pm

I am being contiually asked by my ex husband to provide transport to his new address. while I am happy to provide transport on the occassional basis I am not happy to do it every time he wishes to see the children. is ther a legal requirement for me to do this?

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