Parental Responsibility for Single Mothers
When a relationship ends, mothers often become the main caregiver for their children. This role brings certain rights and responsibilities, but the legal position of a single mother depends partly on whether she was married to the child's father.
A mother automatically has parental responsibility for her child from birth. This applies whether she is married or not. Parental responsibility means the right to make decisions about a child's upbringing, including schooling, medical treatment, and religious education.
Because mothers gain parental responsibility automatically, an unmarried mother whose former partner is not named on the birth certificate will be the only person with parental responsibility. This gives her full authority over decisions affecting the child without needing to consult anyone else.
Answer a few questions about your situation and get a clear summary of your child maintenance rights and options.
Try our Child Support Rights Checker free, here on this site →How Fathers Gain Parental Responsibility
A father who is married to the mother at the time of birth automatically shares parental responsibility. For unmarried fathers, the situation is different.
If an unmarried father is named on the birth certificate and the child was born after 1 December 2003, he will share parental responsibility with the mother. Once his name is on the certificate, he automatically gains this status. For children born before this date, being named on the birth certificate does not give the father parental responsibility on its own.
A father's name can be added to the birth certificate in several ways, including:
- Attending the registration with the mother
- Both parents completing a statutory declaration of parentage
- A court ordering the re-registration of the birth
If a father was not named on the original birth certificate, parental responsibility can still be established later. This can happen through a Parental Responsibility Agreement, which both parents must sign and have witnessed. Alternatively, a father can apply to the court for a Parental Responsibility Order. Our page on what rights an ex-partner has covers this process in more detail.
Your situation may be slightly different. ask a question below ↓ and our editorial team will reply with our advice.
Financial Differences Between Married and Unmarried Mothers
A mother who was married to her child's father may have stronger financial protections if the relationship breaks down. Divorce proceedings allow courts to divide assets and make orders about property, pensions, and ongoing financial support between former spouses.
An unmarried mother cannot seek spousal maintenance or a share of her former partner's pension simply because they lived together. However, she can still claim child maintenance to help cover the costs of raising the child, and in some circumstances may have additional options through the courts.
Child maintenance is separate from relationship status. Both married and unmarried mothers can apply through the Child Maintenance Service if they cannot reach a private arrangement with the father. Many parents prefer to set up a family-based arrangement directly before using this service. The amount payable depends on the paying parent's income and other factors. Up-to-date rates and calculation methods can be found on GOV.UK.
An unmarried mother may also be able to make a claim under Schedule 1 of the Children Act 1989. This allows courts to order financial provision for children, including lump sums or property transfers. These claims focus on the child's needs rather than the mother's own financial position.
Practical Steps for Single Mothers
Single mothers who need advice about their legal position can contact organisations such as Citizens Advice, which offers free, confidential guidance on legal and financial issues, or Gingerbread, which provides dedicated support for single parents including a helpline and online resources. Family mediation services can help parents reach agreements about children and finances without going to court. Legal aid may be available for those on low incomes who need help with certain family law matters.
For questions about parental responsibility or birth registration, local register offices can provide guidance. Legal advice may be helpful if disputes arise about a child's care or if you are considering entering into a Parental Responsibility Agreement.
He has only payed me 3/20 months he only wanted to see our child when it’s convenient for him that’s once a week and only for a few hours I have to figure out childcare and had to change my job because he ended up messaging my colleagues about our life it was embarrassing. He would constantly belittle me call me names and then act as if everything was ok I’ve stopped contacting him and blocked him on everything as he still belittles me and calls me names he only wants our child when he wants and when he can doesn’t pay a penny at all . He has no necessities for our child even if I was to give him our child I have to pack everything milk drinks food nappies toys and clothes as he has nothing and doesn’t bother to buy anything he doesn’t even know what to feed our child as he told me himself he shouts at her if she’s being naughty shes a toddler so they will misbehave he’s brought her back numerous times with her nappy on the wrong way and hangs around his dad who absolutely belittles women am I wrong for denying access as I’m fed up being treated badly by him and feel as though he’s immature and not ready to properly take on the role of a father ?
5 kids to four different dads all be crucified in unrealtic csp ,where pwc gets 1600 before csp and housing benefit ?
Lacks equailty
New law if the child is denied contact by pwc
The family courts uses its powers to give parenting rights to the 99.9% the father nrp
But it won't dads out killing himself earning ever monies that denying him contact with his children?
A law should be passed that pwc who is aggressive angry afray in front of the kids
Should be classed as child abuse
Putting hate and venom in children's minds
Yes 100%
but little women big bad men
the law is an arse run by removed people of society ,
That greed is better than life itself
And p.a.s should be used in the UK and pwc have action taken against them
Denying their child a relationship with their biological parent because of hatred jealously whatever .
Then get them fecked over in csp
Soon be whingeing unfair cannot get me hair done or nails or whatever they waste it on
Equailty in the workplace equailty in the parents homes
I need help with my situation please.
I have two sons, age 17 & 11.
Due to domestic violence, the court has issued my ex, their father(named on birth certificate), a non molestation order, preventing him from contacting myself or our children.
He did not show up in court. Police couldn’t locate him after he breached the order. We do not know his whereabouts. Through his whatsapp he was also served Prohibited steps order involving our 11 year old, the order is in place until he is 16.There were fears from him or his other family members kidnapping children to his homecountry(no Hague convention on child abduction there), hence this order was made.
My ex didn’t show up for that hearing either.
My question is, can I get child custody for my 11 year old who is scared of his father?
I feel stuck with traveling or relocating as the law says I need fathers permission.
Considering the situation, what are my chanced of getting custody?
My children have suffered mental abuse and are undertaking therapy. My 11 year old has been diagnosed with autism.
They both have anxieties issues due to fears of their father lurking, awaiting for them around the corner, etc. it is heartbreaking that I can’t take them away from all this.
They would like to relocate abroad and I am trying to find the best way to support them.
I would be very grateful if you have any advice for me.
Thank you for your time,
Kind regards
I have 3 year old twins. I have been separated, never married to their father for the past 3 years.
I have them 6 nights a week and he has them from a Sunday 1pm till Monday 5.30pm, and Sunday 3pm on alternate weeks. This is because every other weekend he sees another son from another person. He has my boys over one night.
He has just said he is changing it to 5pm on a Sunday and reducing my money to £300 per month. He was paying £340.00. However I drop boys to him and pick them up as he doesn't drive. And frankly this is better for my boys.
What rights do I have to refuse this change? He essentially will get a whole weekend to himself every other week. I on the other hand am doing everything else for the kids and Sunday from 5pm is no time at all to myself. I work on Mondays when he has them. I am gutted for my children first and foremost, that he is offering them so little of his time. And I need that time to rejuvenate so I can be the best mother I can be for them. By the weekend I am often really struggling and in need of a break. I work 3 days a week on top of being a single mum and my job as well as the twins is demanding.
Financially we have never been through the CSA but I know he has paid for his other children via that. He has a 4 year old and a 15 year old. The 15 year old doesn't want to see him. The money he has given me has been based on getting what they get but doubled as I have 2 kids. I have tried to argue the £40.00 a month I get which he is trying to take away represents me taking kids to him in my own time and resources and picking them up. I also know on top of his PAYEE job he has which they used to work out the CSA money for the other kids, he gets A LOT of weekly cash on top for extra work he does and doesn't declare. It was on this basis I have always stood my ground and told him I am not okay with any less money, as if they really looked into his earnings and worked out based on his true income then we would all be eligible for more.
I feel so powerless, like I am alone with no support and he is reducing and controlling everything. He even tries to control what support I get from his willing family. My family cannot support me.
I tried to stand my ground and say if he cannot cope he needs to sort out something else. It shouldn't be down to me to pick up the slack. I only have his family I can ask but he has issues with that.
He was violent during the relationship, hence why I left him. Not that that has relevance. It is of no threat with the kids. Just to me and we have very little contact. Just at pick up and drop off. I never pressed charges. I am letting you know as he is a controlling and rigid man. Like he 'told' me these were the changes, no room for discussion, just dictated, no negotiation. I feel like all I can do is bow down to what he says. Is this true?
I'm broken, those few hours on a Sunday WILL make a difference to me. I already know how
Thank you for your help.
I’ve been struggling to manage on my own relying on food bank etc. He’s refused to help financially and now I’ve applied for benefits he’s saying I have no rights as she resides with him. He’s changed her doctors without me knowing. Says he’ll use my issues against me. Although I’ve continually sought help and he’s never had any concerns about her in my care.
I should have looked into my rights but he’s continually put me down as a mother. And I’m only now finding my confidence again
Can I get her back
Thanks
He has him two nights a week, one after school midweek and then Saturday night and takes him back Sunday evening.
In this time the mother will text and text and text asking how her son is. If a response isn't given with 10minutes another usually abusive text will follow. She has even turned up to the house before because a text wasnt followed up.
There is no reason for this untrusting behaviour and it is getting to the point of harassment. Consent was asked to go abroad during an arranged time which was denied by the mother but then she said she was going to do the same and my partner was pretty much not allowed to say no, it was almost a I dont care I dont need your permission type deal.
I keep saying he needs to get mediation but he is worried about the impact this will have seeing as she is already so unreasonable.
Has anyone got any advice? Can we limit the texting legally?
What are the options?
Thanks
My daughter has remained friends with her ex partner for her daughters sake and has been reasonable with contact arrangements she given him equal share around his work commitments
He lives at home with his parents and siblings and my daughter and granddaughter lives with me and her family
The problem is he’s saying he doesn’t have his daughter enough he has her 4 days a week and 6 hours on a Sunday and he wants her overnight but my daughter doesn’t want her staying over night
Her ex partner doesn’t have his own room where’s he’s living
We would like to know if what we have in place and say is right and acceptable her ex partner is named has the father on the birth certificate
Many thanks
Just looking for advice really
I’ve been separated from Ex three years
I’m a single (mother) main parent , carer for my son
He sees his dad on Tuesday/ Wednesday after school and all day Sundays
All been fine until now
He’s father has been with someone else for two years
Now he wants to introduce our son to her
But I have always said he doesn’t need another family circle or life as he has his mum and dad and both family’s
He’s 5 and doesn’t need any confusion
I’m trying to keep things normal I keep my life separate from my son
He wants him to be with them ... does he have the right to this?
As the main parent and his mother I think I have the right to ask that he sees him as his dad only and not involving anyone else ?
Maybe I’m wrong but I only want what’s best for my son and keeping safe and not confusing him anymore than he needs to be
I have been divorced since 2015. My daughter has been living with me in Sweden for over five years (her father has very limit contact with her, he doesn't try even). Now, we are about to apply for Swedish citizenship. However, I have got a paper which need her father to sign. I got in touch with him regarding it. He refused to sign the paper. What's our (I and my daughter) right?.
Thanks.
In August 2017, my ex husband applied to the court to see my son after I sent a letter to home office informing them about our separation.
He is using the child contact for his immigration purposes. We had a fact and finding hearing in April 2018 where all the allegations regarding abuse I suffered was approved by the court.
In July 2018, he also threatened to kill me while we were in court and the judges approved after a quick fact and finding.
On the 14th of September, Cafcass sent a report where they do not approve of direct contact as my ex is too high a risk of harm for me and my 1 year old.
On the 6th of September 2018, home office issued my ex with a 2.5 year of resident permit.
We had another child contact court hearing on the 17th of January 2019 in which my ex did not turn up. So the court dismissed the case and the court approved of the CAFCASS report suggesting no direct contact.
It was evident that my ex did not turn up as he already got 2.5 year leave to remain in the country and did not need the child contact case for the time being.
So I do not claim anything financially from my ex as maintenance. He only sends 3 gifts per year according to court order.
The court order also says that I am allowed to go out abroad for 1 month without asking for permission. This restricts me from having longer holidays. As my ex has no direct contact and does not contribute financially, is there a way that I can get sole parental responsibility as I feel restricted with taking decisions.
My ex partners parents helped put money down for the house, I will be left with very little.
He has a history of mental health and drinking issues, I’m unemployed.
Please help.
The opposite problem is that he is very obsessive of our child and visits everyday from 5-7pm since our seperation 4 years ago. I find it extremely stressful as he comes into the home smothers our child with the kind of attention that's very needy and disabling & doesn't parent in an enabling wah. He emotionally neglected me and refuses to communicate with at all, thus setting a terrible role to my son. When I suggest he changes the times he out right refuses and says he already hardly sees him. . It is exhausting for our child to entertain him for that length of time everyday but the Father refuses to acknowledge that.
Our Son is 5 and likes seeing him but wants me around for the parenting.
Also if I left them, I'd never have any quality time myself.
As our child goes to school he comes when I'm trying to get on with dinner, bath homework for school etc and it really interferes with those timings.
What are my rights regarding saying it's to much as our time is being dictated by him?
I have no quality of life and I feel I'm being totally controlled even though separated.
I have had some problems with a Custody case a couple of years ago..
Basically, while my daughter was living with me - I was Stalked by a woman, and a man that she was involved with. This woman has bothered me for a number of years - and she manipulated a Manager that I worked for.
At the time, I reported it to the police as I had relocated from one place to another and according to the Stalking guidelines - it is deemed to be and is Stalking.
I became quite stressed about this at the time, and it resulted in quite a few things happening to me whilst living in Nottingham...I kept reporting them to the police and also mentioned the manager this woman was seeing.
Unfortunately, my daughter - Hollie could see that I was quite upset about it, and expressed concern with a Teacher at her School. This resulted in the Social workers getting involved with this..
They came to visit me, and as I had relocated from One city to another because of previous problems from them, and her behaviour - quoting that Hollie's Dad was a paedophile, I discussed this with the Social workers.
This woman for a long period of time had been doing Strange things to my daughter and this was described with the Social workers..
The man (manager) didn't admit seeing this woman and said I was delusional..
It then got very nasty and I had to and my daughter Hollie had experience a not very nice time...
I had recently Sold my house, because of things that had already happened and not being able to afford to keep it, and other complications and because of all the awful rumours that had gone round I decided that the only solution would be to put this awful accusation to bed and get to the bottom of it.
My daughter Hollie had to live with my parents 3 days a week and 2 days was excluded for a period of time whilst I was sent to hospital being accused of being delusional (there is no truth in this), but I don't think the Social workers knew how to deal with this.
After a 26 week Safeguarding exercise through the Courts - Hollie (my daughter), was advised that her Dad was going for Full Custody of Hollie and he was granted this at the end of the court hearing.
There was so many complications over this period, Hollie didn't really get a fair say in where she wanted to live - She wanted to go home with me...
I'm advising you this because i think it was a very unfair trial and the Man in question was not a very nice person..splitting the mother and daughter up!
Since this time, this happened in 2015 - I Have had various problems since with this woman and man and it has been all reported to the police.
My question is; Hollie's dad has refused me to find out information about Hollie's schooling - which I am very disappointed in - as I worked very closely with Hollie for a number of years when she lived with me and she was doing great.
What legal rights do I have with regards to the access of Hollie's Schooling as a Mother? I looked a
Now I'm 6 month pregnant with another guy's baby with whom I'm no longer in a relationship - I only found out he was married after I got pregnant. He wants to be involved though, physically as well as financially. He wants to be on the baby's birth certificate as well as having both of our names hyphenated for the child and as despite of circumstances we're still friendly and dealing with the situation as adults, I'm okay with that. Now, would we have any issues having his name on the birth certificate, knowing that legally I'm still married to someone else?
She would like to move in with me and move the children to a better ofstead rated in my area. But is being told her ex may have to sign off the move what are her rights in this situation
Many thanks
I have called the police before when I received 54 abusive texts by 10am one morning!
it's reached the stage when it's become unbearable, especially as it's interspersed with 'friendly' episodes, even a few hours later where he denies all knowledge of the abuse.
Is there anything I can do to stop it?
It is seriously diminishing my quality of life and I believe affecting my daughters too.
My older daughter is still traumatised by the emotional abuse she witnessed when we were still together.
Also do I have to name him on the birth cert? He’s obviously my husband but we have been separated for 18 months, I got pregnant by accident (condom split and morning after pill failed) when we tried to reconcile but it failed within weeks.
The issues that i have is he wants more and more access. He currently has him for tea one night a week and then he stays over one school night a week. And has our son half the weekend. He wants him now 3 nights a week one week and 2 the other. It means i would only have our son half a saturday every two weeks. He starts nursery in january as well. We have a house together and he now pays the bare minium in child support. He wants me to buy him out. Ive heard that i dont have to until our son leaves the family home at 18 is this true?
My husband is realised that l don’t want to get back together and he started to be difficult by not paying me any penny.
He paid my 2 months and he realised l’m doing ok by working hard and he started to say that he can’t support me financially anymore.
I tried to talk to him and sort out between us but l can see l need a legal paper to make him me pay as he moods keep changing.
As far as l know we must be separated 2 years to get divorce as long as there no cheating or violence.
We just don’t get on well but l don’t want to wait 2 years either.
As l’m a single mum l don’t have any
one or any family to help me.
I really don’t know how to process all this things.
Thank you
So my ex walked out on when i was 12weeks pregnant hes had nothing to do with me or the child since .
The child is now 12mnths old and hes seeking access to him 2 hrs a week with me there .
The problem is my child is very very clingy the ex is a mind game screw over he plays games and gets a kick out of it .
Ive seeked legal advice we are in the process of this back and forth crap .
Hes not on the birth certificate at all the child has my last night .
Im in the process of moving to uk witch he doesn't no about i have British passport and my son a Australian one .
What happens if i leave now ?
I separated from my partner 4 years ago and this was abusive relationship where in the end I suffered a nervous break down. My three children live with their father and I have them every weekend and school holidays and pay maintence. My question is what are my legal rights in general as he does not inform of anything from taking them abroad for holidays to schooling? Thank you for your help
2nd: am I allowed to take my baby in my country now?
3rd: he threat me as I don’t know any law in uk yet, he will go to the court and take the baby from me and I will be deported back to my country
4th: he told me to move out in our house as his name is on it and not mine and I don’t contribute anything..can he do that?
5th: he cheated on me when I was preganant and it’s not resolved till now, am I allowed not seeing our child?
5th: all I want now is just leave the country with my baby and go back to Philippines to be with my parents helping my baby can I file the court there just him to support us.
Pls help help
We lived together for 9 years. I have been in a domestic violence relationship. Physically mentally emotionally financially abused. I have a 6 year old son. I moved out some how to a two bed, working and got my life back on track bought a car etc. His dad now wants full custody of my son. He is rich and has the capability to go to law.
What will be my situation?
The girlfriend wants to keep it and drop out of uni...
My son wants to look after the child but my fear is having slept with his best friend previously, my son will get attached to the baby and then she will go off with someone else and destroy his and the babies life....
After going to court for child contact, we came to the agreement of 2 weeeknds a month and splitting the holidays equally. We also alternate Christmas and New Years. In return I get to see my family along side my children for a maximum of 20 days a year.
Now, he is saying that if I expect him to have the children during holidays I should pay him!
He claims that the help I get is for the children, therefore the money should go to him if he is to "have them" for two weeks.
Is this fair? Should I be giving him
Money to have the children despite the fact he helps us with nothing at all.
Thank you x
I have been separated from a 10 year relationship for about a year, I have a 3 year old to my ex, i only started receiving £80 a month towards my daughter in the last 3 months, he currently has her 3 nights through the week, and the following week he will have her 1 night through the week and that weekend he brings her back Monday mornings. He has done this because if I was to claim child maintenance he wouldn't have to pay as they only class staying over night (not spending time with them) he has no responsibilitys with his daughter, and refuses to change his hours at work so he can help with nursery run etc I am struggling to provide as I have had to leave my job. I make sure my daughter has everything she needs always but it leaves me struggling each week.
I have asked me ex to only see her through the week and not have her sleep at his. This is because he will pick her up on a night around half 6 -7 o'clock and sometimes he is late (she goes to bed between half 7 -8) he has told me that he will put films on for her when she gets to his as she shares a room with him, so i have no idea what time she actually gets to sleep. Then he will wake her up around 6 in the morning to drop her back off with me so I can take her to nursery. I will have given her tea before he picks her up and then breakfast in the morning. This is not fair on my daughter she is always tired and she does not have a routine.
I want my daughter to have stability and also to spend proper time with her father rather then just being put to bed. so I asked for him to have her over weekends and just visit / take her out through the week. He has refused this saying it is not fair on him as he wants time to himself and now we cannot come to an agreement. He is putting himself first rather than his daughter. I am looking into mediation but i would rather get some advice on what to do first. Thank you
Do I have rights as single mother to ask my exhusband additional money for my daughter? (I.e. Fees for naturalisation ,study if exceeding child maintenance figure)
He paying regularly child maintenance but I.e. naturalisation is paid once o while and 4x more then I am getting from him
Thanx for all comments
theres a case where a father wanted to take their child out and then never brought his daughter back to the mother, he said if she wants to see her daughter again she has to take him to court
where he is on the birth certificate and the courts had taken so long, the child had settled in to nursery and living with the father, the court had to award custody to the father due to the fact the child had settled down
I'm aware the system is mainly for the childrens benefits and whats for the best of them, but taking a child away from any parent without going through a court first should be against the law
the same should apply for the father, a mother should not be allowed to take the child away from their father without a court hearing
however i believe there can never be equal rights between a mother and a father as its the mother who goes through labour and therefore mothers should be more protected from domestic and emotional abuse along with automatically winning custody of their own children they gave birth to unless the child is at risk of being abused by the mother
someone please put Morals in to this unfair justice system!
She has already been to Amsterdam for a weekend away and yesterday left to go on holiday to St lucia for 10 days. She refused to leave my granddaughter with my son or us and has left her yet again with her elderly nan and her own father.
Does my son have the right to go and collect his daughter from them he has parental responsibility he is named on the birth certificate. My granddaughter had a traumatic birth and has health problems we are very worried about her welfare
After 8years together myself and my ex split
Recently had a solicitor letter stating he wants overnight access every other weekend and phone contact every night
I recently changed my number due to harassment
He never spoke to the children on a nightly basis when we were together
My youngest son doesn't have a strong bond with him and will kick off over the slightest thing do I have to let him have them over night
Thank you T
How much should a father pay for maintenance if your a single mother. For just one child. I only receive 15 pounds a week. Is that reasonable?
my second question is she is pregnant with my child an I can see her trying to leave my off the birth certificate to give me less rights in case this happens to her again what rights do I have to have my name on it as I fear if our relationship did collapse I would receive the same treatment and never see my child ?
We were wondering if my partner can communicate with his daughter who is nearly 14 with regards to pick up times and drop offs and not the mother as we would like to block her number all together?
I'm 42 years old Hungarian Lady who live in U.K. Since 2009 and I worked always full time jobs, never claim any benefits.
After 13 years relationship with my Son's father we will move separately from 1st of March. My Son 12 years old and diagnosed with autism (Asperger)
We are not married just was a simple relationship. My question is I need go somewhere and report I'll be a single mother? Same procedure needed like when someone is married and divorce? I don't know anything about this.
Please help me,
Many thanks,
Diana
I have a question... I have been living with my partner for a while, for at least 8 years. We have a lovelely son of 4 years. Hes has mobility issues, because he has a tumour in his spine and it has affected his walking. Hes has been diagnosed with it since he was two. After diagnosis he has been really poorly it took him for more than one and half a year to recover. I mainly was taking care of him, while his father worked to earn some money to support us. I left my job to take care of him.
Now his father doesn't want to live with me anymore. He has a job, but said he will be moving and might take the child with him. I, meanwhile, do not have a job at the moment because I am looking after the child. I do not really want to let him to a nursery because he is very vulnerable to disease after the treatment with chemotheraphy and we are waiting for a futher desition on his treatment as his tumor has grown.
My question is, who would he get to live with when we separate? He has got fis father's surname and his father is on his birh certificate. But he has the same nationality as me, Lituanian, while his father is Portuguese? I'm really worried that he will take my child away...
Mediation takes place in front of a neutral third party. The mediator has no pre-conceptions and will not force you to make an agreement. They will assist the two parties in taking turns in the conversation, and helping you reach a decision that you are ready to agree with. Mediators do not pass judgment or offer guidance; they are there, in effect, to facilitate conversation between the two sides. ou have to come to mediation with an open mind and be willing to discuss things maturely and without wanting to provoke confrontation. However, this can be very difficult to remember if you are facing your ex across a table and are attempting to sort the tiny details of arrangements and divisions of time. The biggest benefit from mediation is that there is nothing to lose by attending. Everything is confidential. If there is an agreement you get charge of the arrangements, and, if you do not end up agreeing, the contents of the mediation cannot be brought up in the present court proceedings or any after the event. I hope this helps.
Does anybody have any advice do you think if I took him to court I could get some nights back .
Scared right now to fight but im going to have to soon if im ever going to be truely happy .
Thanks for reading I look forward to some replys .
.
I would like to ask for some advise.
I'm single mum of wonderful 6 years old boy(separated with husband for nearly 1,5 year). Four months ago I started dating someone and now I realised that I'm 4 weeks pregnat.
I was shocked and I'm still really worried about it. I had many questions in my had..but I decided to keep the baby, as I couldn't go through the termination.
That men is lovely, but had two kids already.
As we didn't plan it and I wasn't and I feel that I am still not ready I want to stay single mum.
I don't want to start to live with him.
I feel stuck in my previous relationship for years, as I had my son when I was only 22.
J. has really good job and earnings. He want to start live together, as he assure me that he love me, but I don't want it, because it is too early.
Now with benefit help I can survive by my own financially, to pay rent, bills, still do some extra fir my boy and the child maintenance from his dad I desire for driving lessons, because I don't habe even driving licence. What makes my life very difficult, but I copy and try to always stay positive.
My question is: how to stay separate finicialy and don't start life together to be able to get the benefits?
Do his dad can be sign in as a dad in maternity notes and birth certificate?
Maybe we will find that we can live togheter some day, but it's only 4 month since we've known each other...
I know how hard it is to make the decision of the separation again later and how financially scary and difficult it is.
Please help me with some advise.
Joanna
Do have to put up with the abuse and disrespect etc or do I have rights as his mother
Im a single mother my daughter is turning 5 years this year and her father left me when she was 2 years old and also left her, basically he ran. His parents forced him to pay maintenance of which he paid for a while and stopped in the 5 years he has seen my child less than 6 times has shown no intrest in birthdays, clothes school fees nothing I do everything on my own. He took me to court after being absent im still not sure for what because he never bothered to come and didn't even call to cancel the appointment. this is actually the 3rd year he hasn't been to see our child he doesn't even call. recently when my sisters kids visited n they were bust calling their dad my daughter said mom where is my own father my heart broke n I phoned him but he sounded like he was not interested and recently found out he has another little one. my question is I wanna change my child'ssurname back to mine and also cancel his rights as a father cos clearly he has no intentions of being an father. thank u.
My husband left us recently. We have 3kids together and mortgage on house where I live with kids at the moment. He ran away with young women and lives in share house. He pays me some money monthly (thanks to his good will) and I have been given some support from government.
Well i work part time and juggle care of three children house and work . My husband doesn't want to be with children and doesn't visit us .
My question is can I get some free lawyers support ?
Thank you
I'll try keep this brief...
My ex husband walked out in my baby and I and basically ran away with his affair. He is still with her. He lives hundreds of miles away and also works off shore for periods of time. I support contact every second weekend. My son is 4. He has this at his mums who lives in same town as us. He has him all day but returns at night as I don't think overnight is appropriate as routine is very important to my child and as contact can sometimes not be every second weekend and have month gaps it is not fair on my son. He loves his dad I support that access. Now he constantly threatens me treating his son as an object he should be able to pick up and put down as he pleases. He also has said he will involve his new partner with him which I am strongly against as he should be developing g a relationship with him not involving other people. My son also has had developmental issues and change and lack of structure deeply effects him even his preschool know when he has spent time with his father because he is a bit "off" for a few days. He is threatening me constantly with "his rights" but my point is that he made the decision to leave I support contact and we are entitled to live our lives and not be controlled by him now. I feel constantly threatened and emotionally harassed by him and it is affecting us. I know he has PR as we were married but all I've asked I've makes this work and not hard?! I'm not able to continue constantly being threatened by him especially when the fact is he works away, lives away and ultimately made this choice to leave! What can I do to protect us now? I am emotionally exhausted and sick of him abusing me and threatening me because of his decisions! Thanks
He also has medical conditions (epilepsy) so this is such issue for me for him to take the girls.
Thank you for listening!
Is there any law that forces him to take more of an active role in their lives like he is capable of doing? And supporting me by having them during the holidays?
I realise this is quite unusual.
Can not believe that this man going around and making children and no responsibility for him, no rights for my baby???
I can not effort to take a solicitor, is really nothing what can i do?
Please help...
We both work.
He is named on the birth certificate and pays CSA payments albeit basic.
He sees the children every other weekend ... Total 4 nights per month.
My question.... Do I have any rights to enforce more contact between father and children as requested by the eldest two? Equally it's almost impossible for me to work over the summer holidays (7 weeks) and he has only had them one week therefore I'm struggling financially... I would like a court agreement where we share summer holidays equally thus allowing me to work? Pls help?
I'm 5months pregnant. Me and the baby's father have been separated since I was 2months pregnant. He's playing the game big time already and is vile to me and I basically want to know what are my rights.
I'm really scared he might get nasty and try and try for full custody just to spite me. Does him not being on the birth certificate protect me and my baby from this.
I want the baby to share my surname, him not to be on the certificate but I'm willing for supervised visits with the baby and also would like us to come to some arrangement of maintenance. Does this all seem above board on my part. I'm not the smartest when it comes it comes to the law and my rights.
Even though he's been vile to me, I want to be fair. He's a very controlling and manipulative person and I just think by me not putting him on the birth certificate it could help me and my baby, so he's unable to bully us and dictate to us, even if we are separated.
What are his rights and do I have to let him see her?
Thanks.
Today we had her biological father turn up out of the blue though he did not come to the door instead his mum and sister did
He left my daughter at about 3-4 weeks pregnant as she would not agree to his controlling behaviour
She has had no contact since until today and they are demanding a d n a test and access etc what advice do you have
My daughter wants nothing to do with any of them as all very controlling people
My ex husband has a resident order on my 12 year old daughter which was put in pace in 2007 through lies and using me at my worse
Now my daughter is 12 she has seen through his lies and wants to come home to me
I have put forms into the court but my daughter is due home this weekend and is begging me not to send her home to her father
Please can someone advise me what to do
I have a 4 year old daughter. I was married to her dad at the time she was born but divorced when she was 2. In the divorce papers there was a section titled 'statement of arrangements for children', it stated contact arrangements for the non - resident parent (her dad) which was one set night a week, this was a weekday. It also stated I would care for her on a day to day basis. this was in agreement with us both and signed by us both, he did not contest this at the time.
As our daughter is due to start school this current agreement means they wouldn't get much time together, and therfore he wants to change it to alternate weekends. I have agreed this but made it clear I feel weekly contact would be better, but he will only have alt Saturdays off work, my daughter will spend most of the Sunday with his fiance. I feel I have been really reasonable and accommodated all his requests. I swapped my job to enable me to be home mornings, evenings and weekends and it breaks my heart to give up so much free time with my daughter, but I understand she needs to see her dad.
He is accusing me of witholding our daughter from him, even though I have agreed his requests. He is saying I should be grateful he allows me to take her on holiday. He also says if she asks to stay extra nights I should allow this, my worry with this is when things get tough at home, as in being told to do homework and rules there may be times she'll ask to stay, I don't feel she should be able to play one off against the other. He also guilt trips her when she comes back home.
Her dad has mostly stuck to his set night and if he couldn't see her then she would go to his mom's, he makes no attempt to call in between or send messages, however he has never left more than 2 weeks without contact.
Because I have been so accommodating and I feel he is unreasonable, I am wandering if I should now say let's stick with the current agreement and leave him to formally contest it if he has the effort too.
Could this see me loosing out more time with her?
He has now remarried and making threathing calls saying his new wife is going to have access to my granddaughter.
My Daughter, Granddaughter, and we are are beside ourselves, what can we do? what are our rights? Please can you advise?
Thanks
Dave
Thank you
I'm 8 months pregnant and the father has made it very clear from the word go that he wants nothing to do with the baby. I have tried to make contact with him several times but to no avail. I would like him to be on the birth certificate for moral reasons but I am also unsure as to where this leaves me in terms of child maintenance. If he isn't listed on the birth certificate do I have any way of pursuing some form of financial support from him?
is it the right step to do?
Since then, he has made no formal contact attempt, choosing instead to harass us outside of what the order states. Our son is now 5.5 and states he does not want to see his dad because "daddy scares him". Sad, I know.
He has not had formal contact with his father since June 2014, as his father has so far failed to put any arrangements in place.
Whilst he is so far leaving us alone, I am sure it will not be long before he rears his ugly head again. At what age can a child legally choose to have contact, or not with the non resident parent? Whilst I have always believed it is important for a child to have contact with both parents, albeit supervised, it is also important for my son to feel protected and know that he can put his trust in me.
All help gratefully received.
We came to an arrangement that he sees his daughter every Wednesday and Sunday and I would go to his house and stay. Recently I was told by him and his mum that I must drop the baby off and come back for her later which I was reluctant to do as he doesn't want to give her formula milk and wanted to give her hemp or almond milk when she is under 1 years old. But I agreed as he promised he would give her formula milk but he lied... Which lead to the baby being constipated.
A few weeks later we had an argument were he accused me of trying to be violent towards him which was not the case and threaten to spit in my face and get someone else to do it and threatening to take me mediation as I'm apparently not letting him bond with his child which is a lie. He has recently not seen his daughter for 6 weeks and keeps leaving bags of veg on my doorstep but not seeing his child, he told me he was coming to see his daughter but never turn up and then threaten me by text and demanded that he's taking his daughter on the Wednesday which I refused and said we should meet at softplay so the baby can get use to him. Which he declined and threatened me again.
What can I do to protect myself and my daughter from him, I have no issue with him seeing the little one but I just want consistency from him and for his mum to leave us to it and for him to come to my house to bond with the baby again in a comfortable environment.
Thanks
I have contact order in place since 2013 with my children dad and he has bridged it in several occasions. I m residential parent. Last time he had contact wigh children was 5 month ago, while contact order says every sunday and some weeks on school holidays. He done lots of bridges before always trying to point at me that I was doing something wrong. I almost tried not to talk to him while pick ups and drop offs to not to cause any problem but he has abused my older son (10) and when I send him text about it he returned children before time and announced that I can have them from now all the time. So he didnt show up anymore.
I must say that he used to punish me by not taking kids knowing thst I would worry about irregularity and uncertancy of future contacts and also I have more stress myself by not having any time for myself as I m very occupied with 3 hyper active boys 10, 7 and 5. But I also worry about children missing their dad and feeling that he dont want to see them is very upsetting for me that they feel this kind of rejection from their father.
What do I do - can I reinforce contact order that their father has proposed and I accepted all times of contact days that he choosed without arguing just for the best interest of the chikdren and now he is the one who dont want to follow it?
Thanks a lot.
I'm in need of advice. My daughter is 8 years old, not seen her father for 5 years (his choice). We separated when I was 7 months pregnant, he's on the birth certificate, so has parental responsiblity. When my daughter was a baby we went through mediation and court twice. He was given access in a contact centre both times, both of which he didn't stick to and didn't turn up. I then decided after going through all this it was in the best interest of my daughter to stop any contact as she was then wetting the bed and became very emotional. As she grew older we would talk about her biological dad and sge decided she wanted to see him, so in January 2015, I made contact with him. Arranged for the two of us to meet to talk about moving forward with contact, we decided that he'd start writing to her, then phone calls then in a couple of months we'd start supervised contact. I went home and told my daughter about the meeting and what we were going to do but that was it, we never heard from him. I tried to contact him via email a couple of times but got no response.
I'm now married and have been with my husband for 4 years, my daughter wants him to adopt her and she wants her surname to be changed to the same as ours. How do I go around doing this? Do we need her biological fathers consent?
Many thanks.
My best friend is about to have a baby with her partner, tom. But we are experiencing trouble toms ex girlfriend. When they were together tom was told they were expecting. During the pregnancy things went wrong & they split up. Tom had prepared the mother with everything she needed for their newborn. When it came to the day of the baby arriving, tom wasn't allowed anywhere near the child with his ex making threats. Tom still tried to see the baby, but was never allowed by the mother turning against him. Toms ex then ended up in a new relationship, for tom to now be told the baby was never his as she had cheated on him. Tom still tried & tried to know who the dad really was but never got anywhere with his ex being so difficult.
This new relationship did not last. Now the mother of the baby is single, she is 'trying' to make it loud and clear tom is a father who doesn't want to know his child.... Oh, so tom is the father again now, make your mind up.
Back to the beginning, tom is in a new relationship and is expecting. Now toms ex is single, it is new again that tom in fact is the father.
The difficulty we are having is the ex is refusing to do a DNA test. So tom is expecting a year on with someone new, but still isn't being allowed to find out whether his ex's child really is his or not.
With tom expecting a child with his new partner, he really needs to know whether there is going to be an older sibling who could be involved or not.
What can we do? Can it be taken further with professional help to find out ?
Recently her mum has found a preschool she wants her daughter to go to but unfortunately the dad doesn't like the preschool so he found one near where we live, the mum has agreed to have her daughter go to the preschool her dad has found and she starts very soon.
Now, the mum said because she doesn't work so she wants to keep the child tax in her name so she still has some form of income. Is she allowed to do this? And if so how does it work if we need school fundings?
Having read the above comments and responses about maintenance I wonder how the 20% of his income is regarded as enough? My ex unfortunately is very clever. Pleading poverty to the CSA whilst being able to provide all the lovely things for his 3 children whenever he exercises contact. We have been separated for many years. It took 5 years of fighting to get the Courts to force him to pay anything towards his children. like many of the above comments I've never with held contact. He pays £200 pounds a month total. which for me the main bulk of providing everything for our children isn't anywhere enough. I'm on a low income struggle to make does meet. gave up my car, can't afford to have tv or the internet and worry sick about how I'm going to afford everything they need for school. His attitude is you get 20% which does've even cover their train fair to school and lunch boxes a month. Let alone. school clothes. shoes, winter coats, school trips etc.. I'm sinking fast as the cost of everything keeps going up.
Why should they be entitled to claim money from that man for the rest of his life, force him to father a child he was not ready for, knew he didn't want to have, knew that woman was not who he wanted to share a child with and not have to deal with.
How is that fair? Yes, there are women like that, who try to trap men or use them for their wallets?
There should be laws introduced to protect men under such circumstances.
Just because he said yes to sex and he trusted that woman when she said she had taken precautions, does not mean he should forfeit his life, his own dreams and his earnings because he was deceived in to fatherhood.
All these women preaching about my body, me decision - what about his choices?!
It's a woman's decision to have a child knowing that man was not going to be with her, yet that man is then attacked by her and society for not being the "father" they perceive he should be.
And before its's commented upon, this was not written by a male.
What are the legal rights does the grandfather have in this manner?
I dont want anything to do with my ex or the newborn she has, she used friends and family to ring my business and email me and contact me on facebook, what options are available, like this gorl is completely coo coo
I was having recreational sex an was honest with the Brit all along.I had intercourse with this person the night I met her - it was not a serious thing at all, but she seems to think that the fact that it was ongoing made it a serious "monogamous" relationship.
Right now I plan to rebuild my marriage and undo the hurt I caused my wife and kids.
Based on the fact that I only had recreational sex a few times a year with this person, I wish to have paternity proven before I commit to payments, and will pay what a judge sees fit without question.
I have been postponing my next work trip over to the UK for some time but really need to get there soon.
I was wondering if I might have an issues upon entering the country?
Might I be detained, or prevented from entering despite my desire to be cooperative and accountable?
What might my worst case scenario be with Immigration?
Thank you for the work you put into the site
Regardless if you have bad news for me or not, your site is an incredible and necessary resource .
Regards,Mar
My ex and father of my child has been a complete nightmare... He has improved somewhat this year but until very recently ... Let his daughter down, got me into debt and hasn't ever paid towards her. Recently he had been better with reliability and I don't doubt he loves her.
Dealing with him I have realised is down to me and the way I react etc. Though the money thing I'm finding infuriating. I allow him to see her. I buy her everything she needs. And I barely see her as I work so hard to provide on my own. But he gives me sporadic money when he's feeling 'nice' ... My issue is... Although he's not short of cash it's not official (or on the books) ... No idea what or how. Dread to think... So I cant even get csa as as far as the calculations online are concerned im entitled to nothing. Feel like screaming ... And have done for four years ... Note to ladies ..... DO NOT HAVE BABIES WITH COMPLETE MORONS!!!
I am a foreigner who has not yet received confirmation of paternity of a 2 month old from a British fling.
I am married and in the middle of repairing the damage I have done to my family.
Might I encounter any potential problems upon returning to the UK next week?
I plan to support financially only, an amount as deemed fair by an adjudicator once paternity is proven.
Desperate mother
Please help/advise.
I have a son with my ex. We were together for seven years, bought a house and has a son. We split two years ago and he sees our son every other weekend fri-sun. And one night in the week over night every week.
We are amicable and always resolve any issues. My sons father is on the birth certificate but we were never married.
I was hoping to find out laws regarding the father taking my son abroad. I know if you were married the father doesnt require permission to take the child out of the country.
With my situation.... Can he take my son if i say no? I have his birth certificate and passport but legally where do i stand as i have majority custody and day to day reaponsibility of care.
Thanks in advance.
KC ??
He got a new girlfriend and wanted to introduce them. I let him as i trusted his judgement and said as long as it doesn't effect daddy and daughter time.
It started ok then she was always there and my little girl use to come home spiteful, and cried loads. I asked him that she isn't there all the time and he needs to concentrate on spending time with our daughter as he only sees her for 2 and a half days (counting all the hours) a month as when I asked if he could have more time his response was...'when do I get me and my new gf time'....his girlfriend then began to send me vile messages and disgusting language. I rung him JP, to which she answered and began calling me more names.
So I then put a stop to her being there. I recently found out she still goes there from time to time.I said he can see our daughter at mine or out until I can trust him. He's threatening to take me to court. This has got me so sad. I have tried to get him to meet me so we can discus it properly but he 'isn't allowed' (his girlfriend) so I've said if my arrangements aren't good enough then you can see her when you get the arrangements that are good enough. Am I doing wrong here????.
I would like to understand what my entitlements are having being in a defacto relationship for 10 years with our child and being responsible for the upkeep/renovations which I personally financed has by law in support of my case. After selling our home he is now financing his own family profits and personal business expenditure. I'm appalled by the lack of support the law offers here in London. I would much rather gain from his expenditure rather than benefits. What support does the law offer in these circumstances?
the father of my child has left the country with no notification. He has stopped paying maintenance and we have had no communication for 2 years now. How do I go about doing things without his permission?
We were never married , however, he is on the birth certificate but clearly wants nothing to do with us?
What is the overall responsibilities for these kids Mum?
Ex is living on her own full timely working,no partners,
But I am on a JCA since November 2013, very struggling on a regular day to day survival?
Any thing I would get from the ex to the children, by officially please...
My daughters father and I broke up.. I have a 2 years old and 8 months baby girl.. Althought we never live together because he always have a external relation that always lied about.. Anyway his emigration status isn't clear in this country, and my daughters have a surname that he made up one day when he had an issue with the police and his finger prints were taken, but his other daughter daughters have his genuine surname,, we applied as a couple to get his permission to stay in this country, but was refused, anyway, he has been running a suscesfull company on someone else name, but hi never hold his properties or his money on his name as he hasn't any proved of ID.. And he always send the money back to his country yo his family or his own personal account in back there.. Now my question is. If I sue him have
My daughters have the right or the chance to have a good child support by him by law.. Or in fact what is my situation?
single Mom. daughter is 11. father is a real idiot. never been here for her. to all those single Mom's who receive maintenance and help from Dads who are responsible, be appreciative and don't abuse the effort because there are those of us who really struggle. I do it all, all alone. count your blessings even if you don't get along with the Dad of your child.
I have contacted the csa and will let them get the money off him.he has threatened to take me to court to get to see the kids but i dont believe he will because hine will have to pay costs.
.We are both English living in Spain.Our son is 3 we and our son have lived in our house we are in all his life.He was born in Spain. My name is on the birth certificate .
He is at school,has friends and a stable home.
At the moment i am unemployed.The mother is working.
She was seeing him twice a week.
She changed the dates of seeing him a couple of days ago.
She has taken his passport and birth citificate.
She was asked to leave here rented property.
I do not now where she is living now.
I have on my answer machine a message left accident by the mother talking to her friends ,saying she was going to pack here stuff and go with our son.
She now wants to have him for over 2 nights .Which is in my eyes enough time to flee the country.
Please where do i stand
Him and I had a very short physical relationship that ended because he became very obsessed and klingy. Then i realised I was pregnant,. I work and provide for my little charmer, however he is barely living and does not see what's wrong with me not wanting her to meet his family due to them using and growing drugs and being heavy drinkers. Even he said he understood that but now has changed his mind. I do not want him to see her at all but his sister is harassing me via emails and letters. I'm afraid he will come to my work and his family as well. Ad he knows where we live. He's even said in a email it was not about her it was about me. Any advice please? X
#############WHAT DO I DO???? Hellp####################
P.s and no i dont want to go on jeremy kyle lol
I have a 5 month old and live with the father of the child, however he is not on the birth certificate.
I now want to move back to South Africa to be closer to my folks.
What are my legal right and can I move away without his consent.
Could you give me some advise on how I can get him to pay child maintance for his child from America. Can you help or point me in the right direction.
Thanks
Kay
I can't work on empty promises and I won't allow my child to have to go through that too. Its bad enough I put up with it for 3 years but that is long enough and I need to take a stand. I also want to know how I can refuse him bringing my child around his gf. I refuse to allow him to bring my child around someone who has no respect for me as the chkkds mother.
I am worried (maybe somewhat irrationally) that he will make a sudden reappearance and would like to know what my rights are concerning this scenario. Am I able to deny contact or do I have to allow it?
Also, I would like to know what might happen if I were to die or be unable to look after my children as my son who he has PR for is disabled and couldn't tolerate sudden change to his life and needs somebody with right skills to be able to understand his needs. Would my partner be able to take over my childrens care? We do have a son who is my 2 childrens half-brother.
each month and after divorced he lives in my country so he did not see his child since I came here. He does not call or show any effort to come and see my daughter.
I am single mum without partner and do pay for everything all by myself. I would like to know if I could ask about the increasing payment for my daughter from him and also if there is some posibility to change my daughter's surname .Is this posible to get help through uk laws or slovakian ? Mon 26
I agreed to buying the baby food, pampers and anything else needed within reason which I have been doing and saving the reciepts on the side. Can anyone please advise on how best to deal with this situation because it is ridicuolously unfair that they have such agencies as CSA!!! Do they even take the Dad's support into consideration?
Thanks
On well and he pays maintenance. He comes
Regularly every week and we are friends. He spends
Xmas here with us. He never
Has my daughter for more than half
A day. As lovely as he is, he isant very responsible :(. Leaves air
Guns lying around etc. Just forgetful . HOWEVER ....,he asked if I would
Mind if his girlfriend met my daughter. I said I wanted
To meet her if she was soending time
With someone else. My ex is 40. I'm 41. When he said " i ve
Been with her 8 months and she was 18 last
Month , I nearly threw up. He had been with a
Minor ( albeit barely legal ) . I have tried
Not to judge which is very hard and have said he can still have contact. BUT, because she is so young and he so much older I feel it's inappropriate my
Four year old interacts with her at such a young age. I said when he's been with her for a
CouPle of years, I'd be happy
To meet her!! Trying to put
My own disgust to one side - am I doing the wrong thing ? I don't want my kids subjected
To unhealthy relationships where possible. God only
Knows what a child sees in a wrinkly ol man ...... creepy ! When I asked him what he would
Do if his 17 year old daughter came home with a 40 yr old man he replied " I'd kick him in the nuts " lol . Monkey say monkey do if you ask me ;)
The three fathers have refused in the past to help financially.
Can they be made to contribute to their child's welfare - even after this length of time? Who would my neice apply to, for help in tracking down these men and if possible, making sure they contribute financially?
dont know what to do!
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