Losing full-time contact with a child is a difficult and painful outcome of any separation or divorce. The parent who retains day-to-day care of the child may not experience as much separation anxiety as the non resident parent, but they will however become more financially minded.
Maintenance payments from the non resident parent will help ease the financial pressure of raising a child, but unless parents agree to shared care or regular access and visits there may be other problems to overcome too.
Parenting Plan
A custody court order will include a parenting plan or visitation schedule which parents must adhere to. This plan is more likely to affect, and/or restrict, the non resident parent, particularly if the parents are not able to communicate effectively. Understanding and accepting that there will be imposed changes that will affect a non resident parent’s relationship with their child in some way, may enable the parent to consider expressing views openly prior to the custody order being finalised.
Many parents are able to make private arrangements that put the child’s rights and needs first. Joint custody or shared care will enable both parents to have regular contact with their child, and to contribute equally to the emotional, physical and financial aspects of child raising.
Answer a few questions about your situation and get a clear summary of your child maintenance rights and options.
Try our Child Support Rights Checker free, here on this site →Making Modifications
A non resident parent may have a court order but may still experience problems enforcing it. Being flexible about re-arranging a visit keeps communication open. However, the parent with care must acknowledge the non resident parent’s rights.
If problems persist, threatening to withhold child support is not a good idea. If a parent has to go to court to enforce visitation any threats to stop child support payments will be held against them. Modifying maintenance is only acceptable if the parent with care has an increase in income whilst the non resident parent’s income has decreased, or a parent’s expenses have increased considerably through illness etc.
Your situation may be slightly different. ask a question below ↓ and our editorial team will reply with our advice.
Parent And Child Rights
On the whole, the law allows parents to bring up their children in accordance with their own beliefs and values. This gives parents the right to make decisions about the child’s upbringing, provided the child’s well-being is never put at risk. Parents must accept that wanting their own way however, is not the same thing as exercising a right. Although parents have the right to set limits they do not have the right to enforce views.
A parent has the right to determine their child’s name, religion, form of education and healthcare. They also have the right to accompany the child outside the UK and agree on emigration issues. Parents who have a joint custody agreement share rights and parental responsibilities. If the child’s parents are divorced, however, the mother generally has charge of parental responsibility, although the father’s opinions can be expressed and documented.
A child’s rights state that a parent must ensure their child is safe from harm, has somewhere to live, has food, clothing, medical care and education and is financially supported.
My husband left the family home unannounced I found wardrobe empty upon him.going to a night shift .
He called the children following day and told them he had left because he didnt get on with me .He has regular phone contact with the children aged 16 and 12. There is no regular parenting plan he pays little maintenance and doesn't take the children for overnight stays .he takes them as and when.I have tried to arrange a plan for weekend and he has told me he doesn't do things governed by me . I am a nurse and I also need to work extra shifts but it proves difficult. He has no contribution to the joint finances including mortgage. The house is in joint names I am not eligible for legal aid or universal credit. The finances are extremely stressful and i have gone into financial difficulties.
Any ideas on how to enforce he takes his children so I can work .
He told my 16yr old he was filing for a divorce 6mths ago I havent heard anything
Obviously he wants to see his child but it feels unreasonable to expect this when we both work full time trying to earn a living and support his daughter financially. Does anyone have any advice?
However, despite the fact that he is on a high income of around £100,000, has a new wife with a high salary and rents a house with en suite bathrooms which he decided to buy to accommodate our daughters, he went through court to take £200 a month from me in child maintenance. I am in childcare employment and my monthly income is £850 a month, of which now I am living on £650. I am struggling to meet all my bills, but luckily have no rent or mortgage. I don't afford birthdays or xmases now.. I am searching for other employment but my self esteem is pretty flipping low and I am probably not coming across very well in interviews. Child maintenance people are awful to speak to and just lay on the law down the phone about anyone being able to apply and receive. Surely there must be something that would be based on his earnings and mine that would say I can't actually live properly on this arrangement, let alone have a relationship with any of my children.
Do you have ANY advice or suggestions as to what I can do without being made to feel like some soul destroying non-supportive parent who doesn't mind about the money side of my children having things, but it doesn't seem right I can't have a proper, caring mum/daughter relationship without the vindictiveness of her dad. This is the reason he is doing it to me, is because he resented that I was entitled to what I received in court. He wanted his million and for me to receive nothing, and he obviously finds this empowering to him.
We are moving away to which ex husband gave his consent for. A contact schedule has been put into place at mediation which he also agreed to.
We are now moving within the next few days and just got a letter from his solicitor saying that ex expect our daughter to stay with overnight in about 6 weeks time.
That is a letter i got 3 days after our daughter ( 11 1/2) told him that she doesn't want to stay overnight at his.. she is now getting upset thinking that when she sees him next he won't bring her back...
I do get i can't force her and neither can he.. I guess the only options would be for him to go to court.
I accept and so is our daughter that over night will happen at some point but she doesn't feel ready for it yet with a new home new school to get use to..
Is there anything I can do to help our daughter? If goung to court what likely the outcome could be ? Would she be listen to?
We have been separated 2 1/2 years. In that time he never asked for overnight and he choose to see our daughter 8 hrs a weeks..
Thank you
Social services then kept assuring me that boys were happy and content living with me and when before the residence order was in place seen 1st hand both my son's reactions when suggested they were to stay at my ex's father's with her which has inadequate space for 3 extra people to stay, was brushed aside and at court on 20th August 2018 social services with there new manager who is only 5 days in her role as manager and doesn't know the case thinks it's right to state to the court that both kids should return to my ex's home when they still have concerns reference her mental health also that the house can return to condition it was which caused them to place both kids with me .
I strongly believe there is discrimination in social services behalf as they have not assessed me at length but are willing to put my kids at risk they gave my ex 3 weeks to get her home in a acceptable condition .
When they done home visits they were quick enough to bring up any concerns she made but not willing to listen to my concerns ie my ex's new partners drug habits delaying having a police check completed on him. any advise on this matter would be greatly appreciated
My ex wants me to help her during the holidays or to pay for her childcare so that she can work.
I have looked at the csa calculater and I'm already paying her more than I should be. She's basically saying that she needs more help and that if I don't give it to her she's going to take me to court and I'll be forced to have my child more in the holidays and pay more money. Can she do this? I work full time and have 2 other children if I could help more I would. I was only having him once a week and I've already helped by increasing my time to include a week day as well.
I have a child with my ex partner who is trying to exercise his wishes as rights. My daughter is 6months and I’m still trying to get her into routine. My ex partner is demanding that she stay with him a few days and I don’t think this is right at this point as disrupting her routine has a very bad impact on her. I’m trying to get him to spend time to learn her routine but he feels that parental responsibility gives him the right to have her. I have never stopped him from seeing her but he likes to come late at night when it disrupts her routine. Is he allowed to do this ? As she stays with me, I can tell him it’s not right ?
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A year passed and there is another problem now. Children 9 and 11 do not want to go and stay at his house, but the father keeps treathening to take me to court every month if they dont go to his because they are ill. Originally, when he took me to court to annihilate me, I told court that my son then 13, do not want to see him, they said he is growing and can make his decisions. Since then my son never went to his, and this never bothered the father. So, when is the age that my younger children can chose to go or stay and this will not give the father another opportunity to take me to court. Please help me
I was wondering if you could help. My daughters dad had a contact order put in place and last Feb he decided to cut all contact and blamed it on my then 7 year old daughter.
There has been no contact from him and the only way I found out was when I asked his wife why they hadn’t been to pick her up. Is there anyway I can get the contact order removed due to this?
Thanks
For the past 6 years i have always given my ex every other weekend (fri-sun eve) with my 2 children 6&10 yrs old, he used to have a week night for dinner but constantly cancelled on them so we stuck to every other weekend. I had a harrassment order against him but when this ended he applied to court for more access saying i with hold access (which i never have even when he didn't pay or was being abusive) and wanting their passports to take them abroad (which am worried he wont return them) and also wants their surname changed from mine to his stating he wasnt aware (even thought he was in same room and signed the birth certificates) im so worried that all his lies will be believed, my children are not toys he is never there when he does have them anyway!
Need some advice please.
The father of my child moved abroad when she was about 2. He only comes to see her once a year for a couple of night's. (She is now 5) she sometimes doesn't want to talk to him on the phone and I feel like I have to force her.
He wants her to go abroad and visit him but I don't feel comfortable with it and now he is trying to manipulate me. She's very confused with the situation, what do I do? What rights does he have?
I split up with my girlfriend of 5 years we have a daughter which is 3. My ex will not allow me to see her any more . She has said on a number of occasions I can see her but when time comes she is out or will not answer the door. All I want is to see my little girl .What can I do . Thanks
school are `talking ` to mother but its not having any effect
when my son has access, roughly every other week, to his child he attends school regularly but as soon as he is in his mothers care he stops going to school
we think the daughters attendance is also poor but my sons ex will not give him information on it and the 14yr old will not see her dad
what can he do?
I'm seeking some advice as I'm worrying myself silly.
Basically, my ex left me with 2 children in early 2005. We weren't married. My DD was about 15 months and DS was 1 month old. He moved away for work and met someone else. He came to see the children twice, the last time being November 2005. He has not seen them since and has not ever attempted to initiate contact. He does not pay any maintenence through the CSA or otherwise. In 2008 I contacted him seeking permission to change the children's surname to mine (he has PR of DS born in Dec 2004, but not DD born in Oct 2003). This was very stressful (there had been violence/threatening behaviour towards me during our relationship and its aftermath, the police were involved, etc, it was horrible) but he agreed to the name change. We have had no contact since, he's not interested in knowing the children at all.
Fast forward to now- my children are 13 and 14 and keen to go on school trips abroad, so I've finally got around to applying for passports for them. I feel awful that it's taken this long but I'm very anxious about it and probably been sticking my head in the sand. Will I need my ex's permission to get a passport for my son? Will I have to provide the school with specific permission from my son's father in order for DS to go on the ski trip? I'm near tears just at the thought of having to contact him just so that my DS can enjoy this opportunity. It sounds stupid but it's really upsetting me. I'm married now and day to day, week to week, the children's biological father doesn't even feature in our thoughts, obviously the children have no memory of him. I can't believe he could hold this power over us.
Thanks in advance.
Mum does not feel this is right and wants to know address
Obviously I would never have anyone in the house who would cause my son,aged 14, any harm and his happiness and safety are of paramount importance to me.
I cannot qualify for legal aid as am just earning slightly too much, however I cannot afford court costs.
She knows all of this but still insists on me going to court and will not entertain mediation.
What can I do? She holds all the cards. I am missing out on knowing my son who us now 4 weeks old ??
I just want the best for my son, I can't just hand him to a stranger who clearly doesn't know or love him. Does the law see this ok to give PR or Contact orders straight away to someone that has shown no commitment?
To cut a long story short, my ex has recently found out I've been spending time with a new freind-male. And a) insinuating I'm messing my kids up b) telling me I can only see my Son twice a week! I really need to know where I stand legally with this, he is a narsassist and a bully. So I need to gain a legal perspective as to what I need to put in to place.
The judge was unsuccessful in tracking my son down and I have this on a court document. So through no choice of mine I am unable to see my son. Surely the last strong in my bow would be to haunt payments or pause them until she surfaces with my son?
Bare in mind I have spend 27 months trying to locate the mother of my child and my child.
Can anybody help with this as I am somewhat confused as to how CMS still believe I should pay even in the light of the judge assiromg me that I shouldn't be paying.
HE instructed me to forward the court document proving they was unable to locate my child. I sent it to the Cms and now would like to know what I could do to stop payment full stop.
Thank You
Can she refuse all access
Where do I stand I don't want not to see my son if I push for overnight stays
I am divorced from my daughters father. She is now 7 years old and has had no contact with him for five years. This was his choice not mine. He does not pay child support and I have never sought a claim for any as I do not want anything from him.
I am re-marrying the man who is father to my eldest son who is 16. My partner and I provide all financial support and care for my daughter. My daughter is fully aware of her natural father and I would never try to hide that from her, however she states my partner is her father and calls him such.
We are wanting to relocate abroad within the next 4 years before my daughter reaches the crucial gcse age bracket.
My ex-husband has parental responsibility.
Given the fact there has been no contact over the last 5 years and working on the probability there won’t be any to come, do you think it would be difficult for us to make this move? I
Many thanks in advance
My OH is not able to continue doing every weekend but on his last meeting his ex refused to take the child even one weekend a month claiming it wasn't convenient.
She threatened to stop access and said if he texts her in advance she will consider taking her child one weekend. This is conditional on her and my OH meeting regularly so she can change the arrangement as she sees fit.
What can we do? I have suggested mediation to my OH but he's worried she won't agree to anything.
The child complains he doesn't see his mum at all as she's out before he gets up and home after he goes to sleep, he cries that he misses her. His grandparents take him to nursery as they are unemployed.
Will the child's wish to see his mother for regular leisure time impact any decision made in court? Would it even be worth going to court to settle this?
Now he has told me that I need to get a solicitor as he is threatning to take me to court over access. I took my son to school today and he was in tears I told him dad was picking him up and he was staying. He begged me not to let him go and I assured him it will be ok. His dad messaged me to saying you cant do nothing im picking him up and im having him its my turn and dont bother calling him. I feel awful for my son and this is affecting him and his emotions, I dont know what to do. I told him to tell his dad how he feels and he said no, because he will get upset and say i dont love him anymore..This is awful for him if you can give me any advice I would really appreciate it thankyou
However, ex girlfriend has been misinforming her GP and health visitor, saying that regular overnight contact is disruptive in my grandson's life. Both professionals took her comments as true statements and advicesed Judge to change his verdict. My questions are as follow:
1. Is it professional of GP and HV to advise the court without observing my son with his child when both are in the community without the mother being present
2. How it is possible for this mother to manipulate the court in her favour, in spite of receiving a genorous maintance, every month and knowing that the father has best interest and intention towards his son.
3. What are the rights of my son? How come, the mother is allowed to deprive their child to form a proper relationship with his dad?
4 Can her behaviour be classed as neglect ? Can her increasingly difficult behaviour masifesting itself as contempt of court and seeking overturning the first verdict can go unnoticed?
5. What about the rights of my grandson?
6. Can he be represented by an advocate from what it used to be known as Speak Up?
7. Can the actions of the mother be seen as
Almost vendictive? Especially, moving away from neighbourhood and moving into the area where it takes 5hrs one way by car?
Looking forward to hearing from you.
Kind regards
Larysa
It is immensely painful for my son and soul destrying experience for our family.
About 5 years ago we moved here because of my work. When he found out we were here, he continuously harassed me and then said he wanted to meet my daughter. Due to his abusive treatment throught the entire time I have known him, which has included lying about me to others, making threats such as that he would kidnap my child to hurt me and put up posters where I lived to offer my services as a prostitue (I am not), and making up stories to avoid having to pay child support (such as that he was hearing voices and was about to commit suicide - not true), I refused. When he found out I was engaged to be married, his abuse became even more horrific and the police then warned him to stop contacting me. He initially complied but then started contacting me again. Since it wasn't my intention to have him arrested, I did not go to the police again.
Now he has claimed he will seek visitation through the courts and has stated that preventing him from seeing my daughter is illegal and therefore I could be arrested. I wondered therefore if (1) this is true; (2) can he really seek visitation or can I still prevent it; (3) he said I will be prevented from moving elsewhere in future. I have no plans to make the UK my permanent home. Is this true? (4) He said that the evidence I have of his abuse will not count for anything since courts favor contact between father and daughter. Is this true? (5) will my husband be prevented from adopting my daughter, something both him and my daughter really want since she views him as her father. (6) I have never given him my address. Can he really initiate proceedings without it?
Thank you.
I want to pay for my children and am desperate to see them but she won't let me.
Any advise would be great fully received
Thank you x
I have parental responsibility of my 11 year old girl and have been threw the courts to get access.....my issue is that my ex partner has moved to a different town and she will not inform me of what school she is going to.
This is important to me as today was her first day of secondary school.
I have asked and been asking for well over a month now.
Many thanks
Gary
I always try to be reasonable but find, that as she is the resident parent, my ex is often difficult about things. She still tries to tell me what I should be feeding our son, what time he should go to bed, etc. She rarely asks anything, but rather dictates. She acts like she is the parent and I am more of a carer who she can dictate to.
I have my son on a Tuesday night and also have him from 5pm Friday to 5pm Sunday, arranging travel for 3/4 of the trips. I also make one of the trips when our son goes to her parents during the holidays, which is over 100 miles away. I need advice on a few things that have happened recently.
1. My ex says it is solely my responsibility to arrange all travel to/from hers as non-resident parent. I know I can get maintenance reduced, but it's the logistics that are the problem as I work full time and I can't drive. Is she correct or should travel arrangements be split?
2. My ex says travel can only be arranged by people we both know and trust, including my son being picked up from school. However, she arranges for him to be picked up from school by people I have never met. She won't allow him to stop at my parents, but he stops at her fiancé's parents. Am I right in saying this is a double standard and shouldn't be happening or as resident does she have the right to dictate?
3. We usually split school holidays between me, my ex and her parents. I am concerned that if I refuse to arrange travel to her parents that she will just send him there so I can't see him. Is there anything I can do to ensure I get to see my son during school holidays?
4. My ex has said I can't take my son abroad, but her parents did this year. I gladly signed a letter of permission. However, my ex said I had to provide clothes and a suitcase (which I did), then kept some of the clothes as my son went to hers from her parents.
It's getting to the point where I am finding it hard to be reasonable when it seems she is being difficult/petty all the time. Is there anything I can do to refuse that won't result in her becoming more difficult?
I'm reluctant to go via the mediation and/or court order route as I am concerned that it may not improve things. I've also seen stories where the resident parent is often favoured more, especially when they are the mother.
Thanks
I'm worried my payments are going to stop?
Can i have some advise please? My ex is a very difficult person and is trying to get me to drop the CSA and agree to something between us....i did this before and he stopped paying...hence using the CSA.
He is now saying that he can not afford the CSA payment and if i insist on doing this i will have to do all the drop off and pick ups......He only see's our son 2 weeks ends a month and its usually only the Sat night as he says he can not afford to drive my son to football the Sat morning so made the 12 yrs old boy choose between football and his Dad!!!
He moved 30 mins away from where we are to make his life earier for work and when he did this he said he would do the drop off's and pick up's as it was his choice to move away.
Am i right to refuse to do this running around as i do everything else?
Thank you
On receiving letters from my ex solicitor i am horrified about the context of the letters;
They contain emotive and inflammatory language. Today I received a letter stating that I owed monies in relation to the divorce however the court order for finances has been sealed by the court and I have paid all the monies which I had too in the time frame given; however today the solicitor asked for more and they gave their reasons. However I challenged the letter and referred the solicitor back to the court order. The solicitor agreed that I did not have to pay any further monies however I can't believe the act of dishonestly on their part - they are in a position of trust and they knew I did not have to pay the money but asked anyhow. Back to the court order we were meant to just disclose information about our finances however my ex solicitor put information about caring about the children, I did not include caring about the children because I was asked for information about my finances. This has got me thinking about other letters ...my ex has decided she wants to take me to court regarding th children as she doesn't believe I should have them during the week, however the plans have been working well for the last 18 months. do you think I have a right to complain?
he stays at his dad's every Wednesday,Thursday, Friday and Saturday but isn't picked up in the evenings till 6.30-45pm then back home to me by 7.30am he has him a Saturday a full day even though he's out most Saturday and he's left with his nan and back to me 12pm on a Sunday.but my sincere now wants to stay here all week. how can I get set rules by law? I've never had any matance money off him. I pay his school dinners every week, dinner her 5 days a week,plus most mornings he's dropped off with no breakfast. I give his money every night to go out with his friends in till he's picked up.
I'm just looking to go the best way about things I just want them to have rules to go by without bothering me.
Currently she is refusing to pick him up from us unless she gets petrol money to do so, where do we stand with everything and what could be the results of her refusing to get her son despite being told she can come get him at any time?
Thanks
She is refusing to let my partner see his daughter or let her stay the weekend with us as normal. We just want some advice as to what we can do, what are our rights etc.
He dotes on his daughter and loves her to bits and we are crushed that she is being kept from us and her half brother.
Now this week no one is free and I have appointment as well, so have arrange a childminders who is like a family friend to have the kids and he can pick from her and see the other there too, also I would be working soon on most of these days and these arrangement might have to happen often, but he is saying I can't use the minder, that he won't pick from there and if he would have to stay and the the child there then I must be there, the children are available to him but his threaten that if I dnt he would take me to court again. Am tired of going to court and is not good for my kids too but I got other things to do and would like to move on with my life. And He just remarry also so I would have thought that suppose to work for him. Please advice, am so tired of all his controlling attitude and trouble. Thank you
Thank you
I have a 6 month old daughter who stays at her dad's house twice a week.
I drop her of and pick her up but now he has a new girlfriend and they have a new house together to which I'm not allowed to know the address of for no reason at all.
I have stopped my daughter staying out until I can know the address of where she is living bearing in mind she is only 6 months old.
Long story short her dad is taking me to court so do I have right to know where my 6 month old baby is staying those 2 nights a week?
Thanks
I have just received a Child Arrangements Order from the court. It was a consent order and my ex's barrister wrote out your agreement. One of the agreements were that my ex will be handed our daughter's passport 21 days in advance before a planned holiday. It has now however occurred to me that this means I cannot take our daughter on holiday abroad before his planned holiday as he will be in possession of the passport!
For instance, I would like to go on holiday with our daughter 1st-7th Apr and he wants to take her 9th-16th.
The order also states that our daughter lives with me. It also states in the order "However, this does not prevent the removal of the child, for a period of less than 1 month, by a person named in the Child Arrangement Order as a person with whom the child shall live"
Does this paragraph override the 21 days in advance of handing my ex the passport if it clashes with my planned holiday, or will I get into trouble if I do not hand him the passport before the 21 days?
I am in a situation where we have agreed shared parenting where the children spend just over half the time with their Mum and the rest with me.
My situation has changed and I need to get the agreement amended so I no longer have the children for as long - it is proving impractical (particularly the school run) and I am in danger of losing my job due to childcare commitments.
I have had to rent a property further away from school than their mother has been able to buy, due to financial constraints. At the moment this is a 3 bed property, but I am going to have to downsize, as this is proving too costly, especially as their Mother (who initially went to her parents for 6 months) has been able to buy a property (we had an agreement where I paid reduced maintenance for the children during the period she was living at her parents, and I stretched myself to give the children a 'proper' base while she got on her feet, now I am paying full maintenance and need to move).
Can I insist that their Mother have the children for a longer period? (I acknowledge I will have to pay more child maintenance).
What would happen if I had to move completely out of the area due to work?
Regards
Try to cut a long story short...my ex and I separated over 10 years ago our son nearly 13 we went through a messy court case when son was 8..anyway it ended up with him having residence with me having night in week and every other weekend and half of all holidays.everything been going fine my son older now and sometimes prefers to stay with mates etc so I have to accept that.i moved away with my new partner and my other two kids (from previous) contact with my son was agreed by my ex and that due to distance i could have my son either all holidays or half..again depending on what he wanted to do at the time (my son) he come to me for a week over Xmas not a problem and arrangements were made again to have him then a week later his dad texts saying he has concerns as my son doesn't have his own room.. (he shares with two others at his dads) and that he doesn't like my partner (we been together nearly two years and never had a prob until now!) My son is upset about his dads decision but is too afraid to speak up...in my eyes this is bullying he likes to feel like he's in control he won't have it that it's only hurting our son and believes he's doing the right thing! I'm a good mother my other kids are happy and safe there is no reason he should be doing this! What can I do he's clearly breaking court order!
Thanks
My wife's ex husband is taking there son on holiday for one week. He has since stated that he will not be paying his £200 maintenance monies for the month to subsidise this weeks holiday. This is now, essentially, my wife funding this holiday.
Can he do this?
I have the right to see my daughter that has been taken from me for a month but how do i excersise my right to see my daughter knowing that my ex has a violent temper and has threatened to kill my daughter if they are separated? Ps child service have a case on her but have been very unhelpful and i understand that a contact order may not be enforced
can they anyhow stop me returning back to my country with my baby? by fact i know that father lives with family and is using actively a cannabis, and he has case against him being physically abusive towards his mother.
So after a very heartbreaking separation, getting the children into a stable routine has been challenging. My ex is being difficult. He's not respecting any boundaries that I have stood firm to set in place, e.g brings the children back an hour late because he doesn't agree with the times I have given him access with the children. I have recently in the last couple of days advised via email his access on alternate weekends and ad-hoc days and given him a schedule for the entire year. I've also told him that as we are not a couple or a family unit anymore, neither myself or the children will be going on holiday, but I added that I was grateful for the generous offer. He has responded with threats of taking legal action against me. He is not the easiest person to have a civil conversation with and twists everything I say or do. He's using child access as a means to control me. I'm at my wits end. Every day brings a new drama that I have to battle my way through and I can't see the end anytime soon. What rights do I have to make sure the boundaries for child access is accepted and also to refuse the holiday? Thanks
This country is so wrong
They are now trying to get myself sacked from my employment claiming they have proof i have done something wrong and claiming to have phoned my emloyer. Neither are true though. Now they are threatening us with legal action for access. I dont think they have any rights but im not sure. Could you advise?
They keep saying when she is 12 she can decide but again i dont think thia is true.
She is only her half sister and the trouble is feom the half sister and the half sisters mother.
Any help would be great
My partner and i seperated almost a year ago. We have a 3 year old!
He decided to take me to court for a defined contact order which he was getting anyway every weekend.
He failed at times to show up, took himself of for 3 weeks, then a week and then numerous weekends so at times hadn't seen the child for quite a bit!
Anyway the last 9-10 weeks she has become increasingly hysterical at every sight of him, refuses to go with him, I noticed it was having a bad effect on her to the extent she wouldn't talk to anyone with maybe only miming or blinking to communicate and then started to have toilet accidents regularly!
I have allowed him into my home to get her around, have met him in soft play areas etc...but nothing seems to be working and she keeps telling me she is scared and doesn't want to go! She sobs sore when she sees him and is inconsolable!
I am worried about the effect this is having on her and maybe for the future too, I have tried to talk with him and explain it but he just says I'm not doing enough to promote their relationship, when really I have tried everything in the book, even down to having pictures of them developed for in the house . It's got so bad I have told him to please just leave her alone until the day she tells me she wants to go and I will be in contact!
Can someone advise me is there any law or act that represents a child's emotional wellbeing regarding this, because surely telling me a thousand and one times she doesn't want to go and becoming distressed that her voice should be concerned and she should be able to stand up and be counted for!
I am scared for the effect it is having on her in the long run.
John Norman
A nursery has threatened to withdraw my child's placed, told me I can't speak to other parents or raise concerns about the welfare of my child?
This nursery is based in Scotland and is private with a government partnership.
Can they legally do this?
The children's father was violent and was found guilty of assault on my wife and causing the children fear and alarm although he was charged with assaulting them.
He has not seen them for 3 years ( bail conditions prior to court last year caused 2 years of that )
The older children are petrified of him thankfully the youngest hardly remembers him.
Reason for writing is we are contemplating emigration.
He is a control freak who even though he doesn't see them would be against this .
Where do we stand ? Are we likely to be prevented from going ?
I don't want to just go and then be dragged back by the court system .
Me and my ex husband agreed through solicitors when we divorced that we would have a shared custody order. That was two years ago. Up until now it has worked but lately my ex has started to bully me and use our daughter against me. For example he has taken her away for 10 days over the holidays, 5 of which was my agreed days. When they came back, I asked if I could see her and have her overnight as he's had her for 10 days and his response was no as it is his agreed day to have her. He keeps saying that I am not her primary carer and that his home which is the home she grew up in, is her actual home. He keeps threatening to take me to court for full custody and that we have equal rights at the moment but I don't care for our daughter at all. My address is on all her school, doctors, hospital notes etc and I claim the tax credits and pay all the school dinners and creche fees. I don't even receive CSA from him as he claims he does not have to pay as he has shared custody.
Can someone please clear up what shared custody is for me and what rights do I have etc? Also is there a way I can stop the shared custody as he is now using it as a way to bully me and I do not want our daughter to pick up on it?
Thank you.
I'm not against paying child support I'm a father and I should pay
It has to be in line with a persons wages or income
The matter that does annoy me is the state pays child tax credits working tax credits and housing benefit and a part time wage to the person with care
So a low income worker has less than the minimum wage to live on cannot claim any benefits and the charge for child support is taken at gross wage not net wages
So by being denied contact and involvement with our children
We also have to pay out again for contact cost and living costs ?
How is child support laws fair and balanced if the pwc yearly income is not taken into account ?
They say Cms we don't take their money we take yours
So the practice of financial abuse is ok the pas of a parent is ok
How is that protecting children
When they have to suffer mindless dead beat hostile abusive parents
Over their expected right of being paid for a natural act of having children
This law is a discriminative practice against men workers and to fundamental act of being a father
Three times going to court can have the risk of the child/ ren being taken off them
Nine times I've been to court and I'm in breach of my contact order because I'm being screwed over in child payments
The kids going to Paris Disney world says she's not in hardship
I'm not bitter good for the kids but as a father I don't have the means to give them that option
The law is an arse take my licence so stop you from being employed take my home so stops me having safe contact with my kids
Steal up to 40% in a garnish
For a system that does not regulate weather that money is spent on the kids or not
But the state pays out in benefits 14,000 in handouts ?
fathers are denied children are being absued by mothers who think that the law is for them
When law is about our children
But being a man we can be marginalised and discriminated against
How can a modern society expect fathers not to be deadbeats if they putting us in hardship over % chargers that don't go to our children
It's about making profit out of children
So it's slavery it's mal practice mal administration and abuse of office
The hours I've spent chatting bubbles with these half wits and clowns
Common sense does not register with this company
Fixed home fixed address can attack your living wage
Because the rate of cost is not in line with the low income that most workers earn and high rents and bills
The law of child support is about making money
How can they say gross income when tax and nic have to be paid
When the state give thousands in benefits
this law is a crime not balanced or fair and is a breach of my human rights
Thanks
I suffered PND and felt it best if I left. That was 13 years ago. My ex has made contact impossible and even though DS is now visiting his grandparents just 6 miles away he is refusing to meet.
However, he is happy to demand money and I only heat from him of the direct debit is delayed.
I am remarried with 2 and he is remarried with 3 and one on the way.
If I call the house or make contact in anyway other than email he threatens to call the police and do me for harassment.
Any phone conversations in the past with DS my ex has recorded! !!
Please help. I just want to see my son.
What is my exit move?
Thanks
I'm a dad of 3 and have been looking after our kids for the last 5 years doing everything for the kids and all cleaning and running the home so my wife could have her job which she loves, as she gets to travel and make over 80,000 a year
Now she has said to me she has meet someone and dose not want me anymore so wants a divorce
How do I stand I still want the kids as she leaves for work at 7 and gets home 19:30-20:00 sometimes later
I said I'd have the kids Monday to Friday and she can have every weekend with them , we got the house in her name as she was the bread winner we have been together 13 years married 7 year the kids are 13, 4 and a half and 16 mouths
After the last two kids she went back to work 6 weeks after having them leaving me to do the lot
How do I stand with the house and the kids and what can I get off her so I can look after our kids
Any help please
My ex in the past has shown little interest in his son, only seeing him when he wants to. We no longer live together and suddenly he wants to be involved in his sons life, he is on the birth custody ate however has been Violent previously due to a bad temper. Where do I stand legally?
A. Myself and my husband dont get very much "social time" with the girls, we seem to do all the school runs and the "hard work" and he flits in at a weekend and takes them out to do fun things. Plus our weekend wasnt always falling on when we were off (Im a nurse and my husband is a police officer)
B. The girls are not having the opportunity to socialise with their friends as he is taking them out of the area.
C. We are about to have another baby, and I dont want the girls feeling "pushed out" of the family ie "you go to your dads and let us have our little family without you"
D. My side of the family dont have any time with the girls because they spend all their spare time with him.
E. My eldest said shes bored when shes there and doesnt want to go anymore, but shes only 8.
I have put these points to him, and well I got a solicitors letter saying hes not happy and if I dont go back to the original agreement he will take me to court.
I dont think Im being unreasonable, and his letter highlights the fact that he has to travel to see them, well he's not from London, he chooses to live there.
It also states that he does all the travelling at his expense, well we used to help out by meeting half way, then he got a discount on his CSA for travel, so why should we be spending our money travelling for him?
Hes told his solicitor I recently moved to Cumbria, what is seen as recent in the laws eyes, we have been here two years, and it took him 9 months to contact the school to see how they were getting on, so the solicitor telling me that he should have a say in where they live, go to school and which GP they see, if he had an issue should he not have bought this up with me 2 years ago? Not when they are settled and doing very well?
If this does go to court (as I have chosen to ignore this letter) would I be seen as being unreasonable?
I have a child arrangement order after taking my ex to court when she refused access. I work a shift plan which was agreed at court 6 months ago however my shifts have now changed and my ex partner has refused to accept my proposal for the new Rota which is nearly the same as the old one. I've tried to resolve the matter with her without luck, could you plse advise what my next course of action will be regarding the courts?
Thanks
Plss help
However, please bear in mind, there is no guarantee that the court will rule in your favour.
I pay maintenance every month.
My ex wife is now saying she will be moving away to somewhere about 2 hours away and will be taking my son.
Can you please advise me if I have any say in this proposed move?
Thank you.
Children live with the mother 40 minutes drive away. Mother is the primary carer and I have the kids every other weekend (Friday-Sunday). The mother wishes to take children 13 & 15 to live 2.5 hours drive away to punish father (very jealous and bitter, despite her being the one that cheated!). She also wishes to reduce the level of contact between father and children.
Is the mother permitted to do this? Will she be required by law to drop the kids off on the Friday night and pick them up on the Sunday night if she moved so far away? Or would she be required to cover the costs of extra fuel to collect and return the kids? Can she be stopped with a court order?
Thanks.
I feel she should at least bring him to me occasionally.
She also expects me to buy him clothes for when he's with me. Is this fair?
Over a year a go, my ex stopped paying regular maintenance and his life has gradually taken a downward spiral. He has been caught up in drug related socialising, used drugs himself, lost his job, lost his home, got himself in financial difficulties, stopped paying half the mortgage on a property we jointly own and left me to deal wit it all, stopped paying maintenance, got in to trouble with the police and moved back with his mother meaning he has no seperate room or bed for my son to stay. He admitted a break down and failed to have his son for a regular week end visit.
I fear he is not in a safe, stable or secure position to have my son over night and i have stopped him going, offering day access which he is refusing. I have tried to set up mediation but he says he will take me to court to fight for every week end access at my travel expense as i moved away.
My son does not want to go every week end and does not want to go whilst he is living with his mother.
What are his chances of gaining access every week end and of me being forced to drive 400 miles every week end at my own expense?
My ex then uses this against me and many other things I have spoken to him about, to a point where he has telephoned the Social Services twice, firstly reporting me saying that he believes I am neglecting the children, which when investigated was unfounded. Secondly, quite recently he reported me again to the Social Services, this time with the excuse that he believed my children were being neglected because they had nits. This again was unfounded (children do get nits) and he is now been added to their books as a Malicious Referral.
Now I'm really desperate, because my young son (12 year old) decided apparently that he no longer wants to live with me because he doesn't want to live with his younger sisters, he just up, left and went to his dads house. At this point I had no idea my son had gone to his dads, I thought he was at football at the after school club. I then received a telephone call from his dad saying that my son had turned up there. As you can imagine I was frantic and demanded my son to be returned home. Instead of his dad working with me on this, he decided that my son should stay there as he has to take into consideration what our son wants. I told him he must make him return home and that I would collect him from school the next day, only to be rang by the police saying I could not do this, that if my son wants to stay at his dads house he can. I haven't seen my son since, he has telephoned to say he would come, but each arrangement he has made he as telephoned to say he can't come for one reason or another.This all happened last week and I am beside myself. I need to know what my rights are as his mother and his legal guardian. My ex doesn't have any parental rights
All i want is my kids back. And im happy (and welcome it) for them to spend time with him.
He's just hellbent on getting at me
Feefee
The father and i shared the upbringing of our daughters with me having them the majority of the time.
Due to circumstances beyond my control I have had to move several times so for the sake of the children and he's had them stay with him more of late. We agreed this is because he has a car and can drive them to school before work and pick them up easier than me making the two bus, hour and a half journey each way twice a day.
I could have moved them to school locally but thought they had had enough upheaval with me so agreed till i was settled.
He asked for parental responsibility and i had no problem granting it as ive never been obstructive and he said "he may need to take them to the doctor or hospital or something".
Now, im settled and wish to return to our previous agreement he's insisting they will remain majority with him - knowing full well that this means i wont get the child benefit and which will mean im no longer entitled to any rent for a room for the kids as they "live with him".
I dont know which way to turn. I dont want them to stop seeing them but i want our equilibrium back. Can he effectively hijack the kids? Have i any rights? Who can i turn to without social services getting involved as i dont want to stress the kids at all.
Can I get courts to get my kids back for me?
Im at the end of my tether with all his manipulation.
Any help gratefully accepted
Feefee
We are about to be separated and I would like to have a 50% custody over my children.We both work and share same time with the children on day to day bases. Is there any reason why this should not be granted?
Thanks
three children she is pregnant wth her new partner and has informed me that she is moveing away to live and that I can only see them every other weekend any the children do not want to move schools and I dont know anything about this other man any advice
My wife and I have been separated since June 2013 (5 Months), we have 4 children. Since June she has refused to allow me free contact/access to the children. Please how could I arrange a legal and uninterrupted contact. Secondly, I will like to have full custody of 2 out of 4 of my children, to enable me share the full burdens and joy of fatherhood. Please I would like to know the criteria.
Kind regards,
James
I am looking for some advice.
The resident parent is stating that she is banning me from my son being able to come round my house when my new partner is there as she feels that it is not in the best interests of the child as I have not been with her for very long.
I have mediation with the resident parent this evening to try and sort this out, but she is very stubbern and will not see it any other way. She has offered me to see my son around her house and she will vacate while I am with him, or I can go out with him for the full day (this would cost far too much money).
I have been to the gingerbread website that states about new partners but this made no difference with her at all, I was looking for some help or advice on what to do this evening?
Many Thanks
However, her mother is opposed to her attending Sunday School and has threatened legal action if he contuniues to take her. Church is a lifestyle choice of both my daughter and her husband. They are both active in church and would need to alter involvement in order to respect the mother's demands.
Please advise me what rights my son-in-law has to take his daughter to church once every second weekend?
If one parent has custody and the other has to pay maintenance, the maintenance should not be based on a percentage of the parents wage. It should be a fixed amount, based on what it cost to keep child.
Favouritism should not be a part of court judgement. A unbiased decision should be made based on what is in the best interest of the child.
Mother says children donot want to see him but we know she is putting pressure on children , they are 2 boys age12 and 14 what can father do, was back in court 2 weeks ago and she agreed to access , but refused access this week-end or even to let them talk on phone said it is not in court order.
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