Home > Child Support & Family > Child Custody Rights

Child Custody Rights

By: Anna Martin - Updated: 28 Jul 2017 | comments*Discuss
 
Child Custody Residency Disputes Courts

In the UK child custody law determines who should be responsible for the care and charge of a child, after divorce or separation. The term custody is now more commonly referred to as residency - indicating where the children's main residence is, following a parental break up.

In the many cases, parents preference is for joint custody (or residency), which enables the child to spend an equal amount of time with each parent. This option also allows both parents to participate in any decision making which may affect the child. However, if parents are unable to decide amicably on what living arrangement is best for their child, the courts will decide on their behalf.

Parent Vs Parent

Most bitter disputes between married couples end up in the family courts. Whilst the separation and ensuing bitterness will undoubtedly affect the children it's important to remember that:
  • Most child residency court cases end amicably with either agreed residency or joint residency as the outcome
  • Access and maintenance payments from the non resident parent are also taken into consideration
  • In disputed cases each parent is individually assessed before a decision on which parent is given custody of the child, or children, is made

The best interests of the child is the general standard at the heart of all residency cases.

Joint Residency

Joint residency is considered to be the preferred solution as being in the best interests of most children.

BUT...there are no laws or 'rights' that state that a child should live specifically with either the mother or father.

Assuming you both have parental responsibility it is up to you to negotiate residency on the basis of what is best for the children. Many couples neglect to consider this fact and err on the side of what they themselves would prefer (or what suits them).

If you cannot come to an agreement, you should try mediation first. If that is unsuccessful, the courts will become involved and will issue a court order based on what it sees as appropriate.

Joint Residency Reflect Modern Society

The choice of joint residency, reflects the changes in society and takes into consideration work that mothers do outside of the home and a more hands-on approach of child care by fathers. By allowing both parents to have an equal share in the physical care of their child, or children, all legal rights connected to responsibilities and obligations to children are divided.

Custody Disputes

Most custody disputes involve the child’s mother and father. However, in some cases a third party – a grandparent, for instance – may seek custody at the time of a parent’s death or incapacity. If a couple has never married - making provisions for the care of their child may also develop into a dispute. Generally though a court will accept that a parent is in the best position to maintain the welfare of their child.

Unusual Circumstances

In some rare circumstances one parent may be permanently excluded from having any access to their child. However, the court has the right to change the decision at any point in time, should the parent’s circumstances change. The parent is able to re-apply for access at any time, and once an application is made the court may reconsider arrangements after examining evidence.

The Court Decides

The courts will generally accept custody arrangements that parents submit as part of their separation agreement. To ensure these arrangements serve the child’s interests the courts will review the plan. The role that grandparents, step-parents and other influential adults play in the child’s life may also be taken into consideration by the courts.

Changing Or Regaining Custody

Changing a child’s residency arrangements is possible. In order to support the change, substantial evidence of the stability the child will need to be submitted. There are many other factors to consider, which may include relocation of a parent, stability of employment, integration of the child into the new environment etc.

You might also like...
Share Your Story, Join the Discussion or Seek Advice..
[Add a Comment]
Long story short. My daughter has joint crusody of children. The children live 50 50 with each parent.There age is 9 and 6 In the last 2 years he's has taken her to court 3 times.We are still going through the 3 court now. We have a finial hering in September.Every time she disagrees with something he wants we end up in court. This time and the time before it's about the boys schools.The eldest is dislexic. The farther has been having private assments done on the boy against the mothers wishes And also a court ruling from the time we went before this third court. He wants the boy to go to a private school for dislixia. But the mother feels it's not right to change the schooling now as the boy is happy and now has 25 hours s week 1 to 1 in place since January.Which he is improving with. We believe the farther is doing everything thing he can to disrupt her routine and life with the boys. So In the long term making it difficult for her to cope so he can get full custody.The cost of going to court this time is in the region of £10,000,00.I'm paying because she can't afford to fight him. She works full time. But after all her bill. There's nothing left.She's a good mum. Doing everything she can. If the eldest ended up in the private school which the father has chosen and is fighting for then she may not be able to keep her job because of the difference with holidays etc.Plus the boy is socially very confident. Therefore a class of 7 with children that also have other problems other than delexiea seem wrong for him.If she thought it was the right place she'd not fight it. She is very much for what is best for her boys. But the full history of all this what is ever she wants for her boys. He'll will never agree. He'll just keep taking her back to court until he gets his own way and we can't afford all this.How do we stop it.It's bullying, he also talks to the boys about there mum in s bad way and tells them everything that's going on. This is only a quick versions on what is going on. There were never married.At the end of the day all this needs stoping. He's ruining her life with her boys. What can be done to stop all this. It seems to me the law has no clear view on it. As they we're never married does she have anymore rights In the say of her boys. If not how can thing change there never going to agree because he'll never let her go.Even though he's a new partner and is trying to make a family unit by pushingthe boys mother out. There must be something that's gives her some sort of right over him. Sorry is this is badly written I'm doing it in a rush and am also dyslexic
Daisy - 28-Jul-17 @ 8:42 AM
I want information and directions how to gain 50/50 access to my son, he stays with me 4 days a week, I pay for our living, I've had some problems which has been used against me which I feel is unfair. My son is happy but would like to be with me more.
Sarj - 27-Jul-17 @ 10:23 PM
@Paul - Yes, you can apply to court or inform Social Services if your daughter refuses to return home.
Nicki - 27-Jul-17 @ 12:37 PM
Hi, our 15 year old daughter has gone to live with her grandmother but we don't want her to. We are worries about the negative effect she will have on our daughter. We have spoken to our daughter and she has said she wants to stay there. We also have 2 boys. Is there anything we can do to make her come home? Will the courts help us? Thanks
Paul - 25-Jul-17 @ 8:20 PM
Susan - Your Question:
My daughter and her partner have separated. They have a three year old child and she is pregnant. They have a joint tenancy for a private rental. She is a nurse working full time. He has an early morning cleaning job and does child care. He says he won't leave the home. She would like him to move out (probably back to his mothers) and share responsibility for the children. He does not contribute anything to the household bills. He uses his wages to pay insurance on his bike and his phone bill. She gives him an extra £50pcm. Most of his spare cash is spent on tobacco and weed.He thinks he should stay in the home and she should continue to give him £50pcm so she can continue her 'career'. He is sleeping on a sofa bed in the lounge.He thinks she should have an abortion. She is 100% anti abortion in any circumstances.She is at a loss as to what she can do. We agree he is the wronged party in their breakup but they need a way to sort the housing issue, the money issue and most importantly the issue of the child and the unborn child.

Our Response:
The Citizens Advice Bureau link here may help you further. As will the Money Advice Service link here .
ChildSupportLaws - 24-Jul-17 @ 10:33 AM
My daughter and her partner have separated. They have a three year old child and she is pregnant. They have a joint tenancy for a private rental. She is a nurse working full time. He has an early morning cleaning job and does child care. He says he won't leave the home. She would like him to move out (probably back to his mothers) and share responsibility for the children. He does not contribute anything to the household bills. He uses his wages to pay insurance on his bike and his phone bill. She gives him an extra £50pcm. Most of his spare cash is spent on tobacco and weed. He thinks he should stay in the home and she should continue to give him £50pcm so she can continue her 'career'. He is sleeping on a sofa bed in the lounge. He thinks she should have an abortion. She is 100% anti abortion in any circumstances. She is at a loss as to what she can do. We agree he is the wronged party in their breakup but they need a way to sort the housing issue, the money issue and most importantly the issue of the child and the unborn child.
Susan - 21-Jul-17 @ 5:49 PM
Jimmynapper - Your Question:
My partner split up we with me 6 weeks ago after 16 years and she has taken our home and our children we have 2 daughters 11 & 7.I am distraught as I never spent a day without my daughters all their lives and things haves escalated so much over 6 weeks she took out a non molestation order out against me after a weeks and I tried to get custody of our oldest daughter the same day as she wants to live with me.I have to go back to court in 3 weeks and I am going about getting custody of my oldest daughter do I have any chance she wants to live with 100% and hates her mum so does this help our chances of being successful in court.

Our Response:
I am sorry to hear this and I'm sad this situation has got to court. It is very difficult to predict what a court may decide. Are you going back to court over the non-molestation order or over the child arrangement order? Obviously, both are very different things. When you go to court for a child arrangement order, much depends upon who is previously classed as the primary carer of your children. A court will always decide upon what it thinks is in the best interests of your children and consistency and stability are considered most important. It's rare a court will separate siblings (unless the parents agree), or remove a child from one parent's care to the other unless absolutely necessary. The non-molestation order will not help either. On the plus-side as your daughter is now aged-11, the court will take her opinion into consideration. However, this does not mean it will allow the move to take place. Again, the court will decide on what it thinks is best for her. Cafcass usually also gets involved with such cases and will write a report. The building blocks of the Cafcass report are the interviews the reporters carry out. They talk to both parents, generally quite extensively. Since the report takes around 10 weeks to compile, other people are also interviewed along with the children involved (if they’re old enough). It’s a measure of how important the Cafcass recommendation is that the court will almost invariably adhere to it. I have directed you to another of our sites Separated Dads, which may help you further, please see link here . There is also a forum you can join where you can get advice from other dads who may have been through similar issues. Many people have teething problems when they first separate, developing an amicable relationship with your ex (if you can) does help, especially if you both work together for what is in the best interests of your kids.
ChildSupportLaws - 21-Jul-17 @ 10:11 AM
Gord - Your Question:
Hi I have a 1 yo. I broke up with her father before she was born but we were still living together until she was 2 weeks old. We still got along not living together and used to spend time together as a family regularly. Then things started changing, he gets really bad mood swings and is very possessive. He was tracking me and stalking me through social media. To cut a long story short I've ended up getting a non molestation order against him. All correspondence goes through my brother and he sees our little girl regularly. Up until recently I would have said he was an excellent father and couldn't fault him but lately he's got into a new relationship and has started trying spend less time with our daughter. I work weekends cause I have a mortgage to pay for and he works during the week. He is now saying it's unfair that he has her every weekend and wants to go through solicitors to getting it dropped to every other weekend. He says he doesn't have any money, he says he's not eating, the only food he gets is leftovers from the food I send with our daughter. I've now recently found out he's taken to smoking weed, "to help him chill out and stop him from wanting to stab people". He also wants to leave our daughter with his new gf who he's known just over a month himself and who has introduced him to his new lifestyle. Finding this out worries me about my daughters welfare and worries me about his mental and emotional state and I really don't know what to do about any of it. Any ideas please?

Our Response:
If you cannot sit down and talk to your ex directly about the issues that are concerning you and come to a resolution on the back of the conversation, then your only recourse is to suggest mediation. Mediation is when two or more parties meet to resolve problems before the matter reaches court. It is most often used in family proceedings. It is a formal negotiation and courts can accept the agreement of the mediation instead of having to go through the court process, although it is subject to final court approval.Mediation takes place in front of a neutral third party. The mediator has no pre-conceptions and will not force you to make an agreement. They will assist the two parties in taking turns in the conversation, and helping you reach a decision that you are ready to agree with. Mediators do not pass judgment or offer guidance; they are there, in effect, to facilitate conversation between the two sides.
ChildSupportLaws - 20-Jul-17 @ 2:28 PM
My partner split up we with me 6 weeks ago after 16 years and she has taken our home and our children we have 2 daughters 11 & 7. I am distraught as I never spent a day without my daughters all their lives and things haves escalated so much over 6 weeks she took out a non molestation order out against me after a weeks and I tried to get custody of our oldest daughter the same day as she wants to live with me. I have to go back to court in 3 weeks and I am going about getting custody of my oldest daughter do I have any chance she wants to live with 100% and hates her mum so does this help our chances of being successful in court.
Jimmynapper - 20-Jul-17 @ 9:56 AM
Hi I have a 1 yo. I broke up with her father before she was born but we were still living together until she was 2 weeks old. We still got along not living together and used to spend time together as a family regularly. Then things started changing, he gets really bad mood swings and is very possessive. He was tracking me and stalking me through social media. To cut a long story short I've ended up getting a non molestation order against him. All correspondence goes through my brother and he sees our little girl regularly. Up until recently I would have said he was an excellent father and couldn't fault him but lately he's got into a new relationship and has started trying spend less time with our daughter. I work weekends cause I have a mortgage to pay for and he works during the week. He is now saying it's unfair that he has her every weekend and wants to go through solicitors to getting it dropped to every other weekend. He says he doesn't have any money, he says he's not eating, the only food he gets is leftovers from the food i send with our daughter. I've now recently found out he's taken to smoking weed, "to help him chill out and stop him from wanting to stab people". He also wants to leave our daughter with his new gf who he's known just over a month himself and who has introduced him to his new lifestyle. Finding this out worries me about my daughters welfare and worries me about his mental and emotional state and I really don't know what to do about any of it. Any ideas please?
Gord - 19-Jul-17 @ 11:56 PM
Mitchy - Your Question:
Hello, sorry this is long winded.My partner and his ex have been split for just under a year and we got together shortly after. They have three children together, 6,5 and 1. When he had them for a weekend I came with him to stay at his grans(where he takes the children as he lives 7 hours away from them and his grans is closer) we took the kids out to a theme park. His ex gave him pullups for the 5 year old as he was still having accidents and had one the night he stayed over. His ex was angry on two account, she did not want the children meeting me and has set out a timeframe, which we are now following and she said my partner set the 5yo back in toilet training due to him putting the pullups on him. I do not see the children so stay at home and my partner then took the children over fathers day however she did not supply him with milk or enough nappies for the 1yo so he bought more and returned all three without a problem. It has now been discovered that the 5yo is still wetting himself in school and they have called the social services, she is blaming my partner on this and has twisted the 6yos words as she said her daddy bought nappies, but they were only for the 1yo.Whenever my partner has the kids their clothes are dirty, the 6yo girls hair is matted with tugs due to not being brushed, the 5yo is now wetting himself after being toilet trained, he is also very shy and nervous around family he has known his whole life, the 1yo is clingy. The other thing is the 5yo and 6yo had a cough when I had seen them, the 1yo was teething and she didn't give us any medicine, five weeks later when only my partner had then(at his grans) all three of them has the cough and still no medicine.I believe this is neglect but I am trying not to interfere too much as I believe children should have a relationship with both parents but she is trying to alienate my partner from his kids and he is a good father.Any advice would be welcome!

Our Response:
If your partner has issues with the way his ex is bringing up his children, his only recourse would be to suggest mediation as a way of trying to resolve the problems. His ex does not have to supply your partner with nappies or medicine for the children, unless the medicine is GP prescribed and essential. You can see what constitutes neglect via the NSPCC link here which should inform you further.
ChildSupportLaws - 18-Jul-17 @ 10:56 AM
Hello, sorry this is long winded. My partner and his ex have been split for just under a year and we got together shortly after. They have three children together, 6,5 and 1. When he had them for a weekend I came with him to stay at his grans(where he takes the children as he lives 7 hours away from them and his grans is closer) we took the kids out to a theme park. His ex gave him pullups for the 5 year old as he was still having accidents and had one the night he stayed over. His ex was angry on two account, she did not want the children meeting me and has set out a timeframe, which we are now following and she said my partner set the 5yo back in toilet training due to him putting the pullups on him. I do not see the children so stay at home and my partner then took the children over fathers day however she did not supply him with milk or enough nappies for the 1yo so he bought more and returned all three without a problem. It has now been discovered that the 5yo is still wetting himself in school and they have called the social services, she is blaming my partner on this and has twisted the 6yos words as she said her daddy bought nappies, but they were only for the 1yo. Whenever my partner has the kids their clothes are dirty, the 6yo girls hair is matted with tugs due to not being brushed, the 5yo is now wetting himself after being toilet trained, he is also very shy and nervous around family he has known his whole life, the 1yo is clingy. The other thing is the 5yo and 6yo had a cough when I had seen them, the 1yo was teething and she didn't give us any medicine, five weeks later when only my partner had then(at his grans) all three of them has the cough and still no medicine. I believe this is neglect but I am trying not to interfere too much as I believe children should have a relationship with both parents but she is trying to alienate my partner from his kids and he is a good father. Any advice would be welcome!
Mitchy - 17-Jul-17 @ 4:02 PM
Ayazz - Your Question:
Hi, I am not a uk citizen nor resident however my 2month old baby is. I moved here while I was pregnant with him to start a new life with my husband who is in the Arm Force. While here my husband went on deployment and couple months after he came back I found out he cheated on me and now his mistress is claiming she is pregnant for him. Ever since Ive found out this he has become more aggressive and hostile towards me. I have proof of his infidelity also this is not the first time he has cheated on me as he has another child just 4 months older than my child. Before we got married he was all nice and good to me but now am seeing a different side of him, he has become abusive to me both verbally and physically, even during my pregnancy. I donot wish to be with him nor stay living with him any longer. I want to return home and I want full custody of my son, will the judge Grant my wish to take him to my home country and to give me full custody? Also he has given me permission to take him home however he has threaten to come for him in the near future unannounced. I don't not want my son growing up around him as he is not of good character also he is short tempered and gets angry and aggressive easily and I don't want my son growing up in that kind of environment.Thanks in advance for your reply

Our Response:
If your husband has given you permission to return to your home country with your child, you can go without having the courts involved (as long as you have written permission). Once you are in your home country, your husband will not be allowed to leave the country with your child without your consent as this would be classed as abduction.
ChildSupportLaws - 17-Jul-17 @ 12:28 PM
Spencer - Your Question:
Hi, my partner recently split up with me and I have tried to be amicable with him seeing our 4 month old child.He no longer lives I. The family home as he decided to leave.I am worried about his emotional state as he has had bad family issues growing up and at the minute I believe he is emontanaly unstable, he also is a weed smoker. When he left the family home I was allowing him to come round on Tue and Thurs to see his son and also so I could keep an eye on his behaviour. I have also allowed him to take him out on a weekend day for Up to 10 hours.When he was coming round the family house in the weekday it began to get unpleasant and I asked him to leave on two occasions because of this. I didn't want our child to be round that kind of atmosphere. I now have stopped weekday visits because of this. I have allowed him to take our son out today but he has just given me abuse and is acting like an idiot. Should I allow him to see his son unsupervised when I am worried about his ability to care for him?

Our Response:
If you cannot negotiate with your ex directly, you should attempt to negotiate through mediation. Mediation is when two or more parties meet to resolve problems before the matter reaches court. It is most often used in family proceedings. It is a formal negotiation and courts can accept the agreement of the mediation instead of having to go through the court process, although it is subject to final court approval. Mediation takes place in front of a neutral third party. The mediator has no pre-conceptions and will not force you to make an agreement. They will assist the two parties in taking turns in the conversation, and helping you reach a decision that you are ready to agree with. Mediators do not pass judgment or offer guidance; they are there, in effect, to facilitate conversation between the two sides.
ChildSupportLaws - 17-Jul-17 @ 11:59 AM
miss_mon - Your Question:
Hi.Back in December 2016 I have fleed domestic violence. I had to call police on 3 several occasions as my ex partner was aggressive. On one of occasions when I was 5 months pregnant he has managed to bruise my body and pushed me around house. He has issues with an alcohol but refusing to go for a treatment. At the moment he see his son 2-3 times a week. Usually it happens in public place or he comes over to my family house where we live at the moment. He is keep pushing me to allow him to have his son overnight with him. Quite frankly I'm petrified to do it as I'm think he might disappear with him. He doesn't have a driving license but drives a car, sometimes he would drive under influence of alcohol. He can't even change baby nappy or feed him as he always refused to do it. He has mentioned taking him on holiday with him back home but I'm scared he might not come back with him.I don't want to stop him to see his son but I don't wish to see him anymore plus I believe he can't be trusted to be left alone with him due to his issues with alcohol. Do you think is there any chance for me to get a sole custody? What do you think I should do?Thank you!

Our Response:
If you think it is in your child's best interests, you do not have to be forced into anything you do not wish to do. You can apply for a child arrangement order which will determine with whom your child should live with, please see link here . This means if your ex has parental responsibility and have concerns your ex will try to keep your child, the police can intervene. If you wish to stop your ex from leaving the country with your child, then you can apply for a Prohibited Steps Order. A Prohibited Steps Order (PSO) is an order granted by the court in family cases which prevents either parent from carrying out certain events or making specific trips with their children without the express permission of the other parent. This is more common in cases where there is suspicion that one parent may leave the area with their children. As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the child in question. The court will always put the child’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order. As a rule, parents should seek mediation in the first instance in order to try to resolve any issues directly. However, if domestic violence has been involved previously, then you may be able to apply directly to court.
ChildSupportLaws - 17-Jul-17 @ 11:08 AM
Hi, I am not a uk citizen nor resident however my 2month old baby is. I moved here while I was pregnant with him to start a new life with my husband who is in the Arm Force. While here my husband went on deployment and couple months after he came back I found out he cheated on me and now his mistress is claiming she is pregnant for him. Ever since Ive found out this he has become more aggressive and hostile towards me. I have proof of his infidelity also this is not the first time he has cheated on me as he has another child just 4 months older than my child. Before we got married he was all nice and good to me but now am seeing a different side of him, he has become abusive to me both verbally and physically, even during my pregnancy. I donot wish to be with him nor stay living with him any longer. I want to return home and I want full custody of my son, will the judge Grant my wish to take him to my home country and to give me full custody? Also he has given me permission to take him home however he has threaten to come for him in the near future unannounced. I don't not want my son growing up around him as he is not of good character also he is short tempered and gets angry and aggressive easily and I don't want my son growing up in that kind of environment. Thanks in advance for your reply
Ayazz - 15-Jul-17 @ 5:59 PM
Hi, my partner recently split up with me and I have tried to be amicable with him seeing our 4 month old child. He no longer lives I. The family home as he decided to leave. I am worried about his emotional state as he has had bad family issues growing up and at the minute I believe he is emontanaly unstable, he also is a weed smoker. When he left the family home I was allowing him to come round on Tue and Thurs to see his son and also so I could keep an eye on his behaviour. I have also allowed him to take him out on a weekend day for Up to 10 hours. When he was coming round the family house in the weekday it began to get unpleasant and I asked him to leave on two occasions because of this. I didn't want our child to be round that kind of atmosphere. I now have stopped weekday visits because of this. I have allowed him to take our son out today but he has just given me abuse and is acting like an idiot. Should I allow him to see his son unsupervised when I am worried about his ability to care for him?
Spencer - 15-Jul-17 @ 11:00 AM
Hi. Back in December 2016 I have fleed domestic violence. I had to call police on 3 several occasions as my ex partner was aggressive. On one of occasions when I was 5 months pregnant he has managed to bruise my body and pushed me around house.He has issues with an alcohol but refusing to go for a treatment. At the moment he see his son 2-3 times a week. Usually it happens in public place or he comes over to my family house where we live at the moment. He is keep pushing me to allow him to have his son overnight with him. Quite frankly I'm petrified to do it as I'm think he might disappear with him. He doesn't have a driving license but drives a car, sometimes he would drive under influence of alcohol. He can't even change baby nappy or feed him as he always refused to do it. He has mentioned taking him on holiday with him back home but I'm scared he might not come back with him. I don't want to stop him to see his son but I don't wish to see him anymore plus I believe he can't be trusted to be left alone with him due to his issues with alcohol. Do you think is there any chance for me to get a sole custody? What do you think I should do? Thank you!
miss_mon - 14-Jul-17 @ 11:07 PM
Nina - Your Question:
Hello, I have 2 and half year old son with my ex and we share 50/50 care. I am not married and my husband got a job overseas. We would like to move to join my husband as it's a better job, income and life experience for all of us. My ex is not married and has no job. He changes girl friends every couple months. But he is a good father. What is my chance to take my son abroad with me?

Our Response:
If your ex has parental responsibility, you would have to request his written consent to move abroad with your family. If you moved abroad without his consent, then you could be charged with abduction. If your ex will not give his consent, you would have to apply through the courts. A judge will always decide upon what he/she thinks is in the best interests of your children when making a decision.
ChildSupportLaws - 14-Jul-17 @ 12:57 PM
Tats - Your Question:
My ex partner hasn't had any contact with his daughter for 8 years. I went to the Portuguese embassy to apply for her Portuguese passport they said they couldn't give her 1 as the dad is on birth certificate. I explained he hasn't seen her for 8 years. I asked him for sole custody he said no just to be spiteful. What can I do? She wants to go on holiday and I can't take her because I can not get her a passport as I don't have sole custody. What shall I do?

Our Response:
If your daughter's father will not consent to giving authorisation for you to apply for a passport, you would have to apply through the courts.
ChildSupportLaws - 14-Jul-17 @ 9:55 AM
Hello, I have 2 and half year old son with my ex and we share 50/50 care. I am not married and my husband got a job overseas. We would like to move to join my husband as it's a better job, income and life experience for all of us. My ex is not married and has no job. He changes girl friends every couple months. But he is a good father. What is my chance to take my son abroad with me?
Nina - 13-Jul-17 @ 10:26 PM
kelly - Your Question:
My husband and I have separated and he has taken my 3 babies to live an hour away from me and is refusing any contact. not even a phone call. I have previous problems with drink and postnatal depression. he has been emotionally abusive and controlling with me since we got together. however, he is very good at getting into my head and provoked me into scratching his body as he was blocking the doorway to the room I was in and I felt trapped. he knows this would scare me having been in an abusive relationship before him. I have been in court for this a couple of years back and did probation and courses. i've been drink free for nearly 3 weeks, had my antidepressants increased and had an assessment at the mother and baby unit which came back very low so need no help. if I got to court, am I likely to get custody of my kids. the youngest is only 4 months old.

Our Response:
I am afraid we cannot predict what a court may decide. The court will involve Cafcass. Whenever parents can’t agree over an application, they become involved, compiling a report on the family, both parents and children. The document they produce carries a great deal of weight with the Family Court. The Cafcass staff who compile the reports will interview both parents in the case, as well as the children, and any others who might be needed, which could mean social workers, medical professionals, or even relatives. As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the children in question. The court will always put the children’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order.
ChildSupportLaws - 13-Jul-17 @ 2:55 PM
My ex partner hasn't had any contact with his daughter for 8 years. I went to the Portuguese embassy to apply for her Portuguese passport they said they couldn't give her 1 as the dad is on birth certificate. I explained he hasn't seen her for 8 years. I asked him for sole custody he said no just to be spiteful. What can I do?She wants to go on holiday and I can't take her because I can not get her a passport as I don't have sole custody. What shall I do?
Tats - 13-Jul-17 @ 8:31 AM
my husband and i have separated and he has taken my 3 babies to live an hour away from me and is refusing any contact. not even a phone call. i have previous problems with drink and postnatal depression. he has been emotionally abusive and controlling with me since we got together. however, he is very good at getting into my head and provoked me into scratching his body as he was blocking the doorway to the room i was in and i felt trapped. he knows this would scare me having been in an abusive relationship before him. i have been in court for this a couple of years back and did probation and courses. i've been drink free for nearly 3 weeks, had my antidepressants increased and had an assessment at the mother and baby unit which came back very low so need no help. if i got to court, am i likely to get custody of my kids. the youngest is only 4 months old.
kelly - 12-Jul-17 @ 8:55 PM
Cobretti - Your Question:
Hi. I have a 3 year old son with my ex wife to be. We've been separated for 2 years and soon divorced. Custody is not mentioned in the divorce; but she has been the primary carer for him.She has a property mortgage free and a very good salary; I have to share accommodation as I have average salary in London and no property of my own.Currently I see him twice a week, just few hours one evening during the week and a weekend day from 9 to 16. I feel this is insufficient and I want to have him over night for sleep overs. We are very attached. he knows who I am and enjoys spending time with me.What are my chances of seeing him more if I were going to ask for the Court to decide? I feel that being a male with average-low income might prejudice my relationship with my son.Thank you for the advice.

Our Response:
We cannot predict what your chances would be, as a court will always decide upon what it thinks is in the best interests of your child. Your income has no bearing on whether the courts will allow you to spend time with your child. It is only the interests and welfare of your child the court is concerned about.
ChildSupportLaws - 11-Jul-17 @ 2:12 PM
Hi. I have a 3 year old son with my ex wife to be. We've been separated for 2 years and soon divorced. Custody is not mentioned in the divorce; but she has been the primary carer for him. She has a property mortgage free and a very good salary; I have to share accommodation as I have average salary in London and no property of my own. Currently I see him twice a week, just few hours one evening during the week and a weekend day from 9 to 16. I feel this is insufficient and I want to have him over night for sleep overs. We are very attached. he knows who I am and enjoys spending time with me. What are my chances of seeing him more if I were going to ask for the Court to decide? I feel that being a male with average-low income might prejudice my relationship with my son. Thank you for the advice.
Cobretti - 11-Jul-17 @ 10:56 AM
My ex partner and I have shared responsibility for our daughter. We do 50/50 every week but I do have her a couple of hours more. I work partime as many hours I can do until she goes to full time education and he doesn't work. He expects me to pay half of the remainder of the working tax credits (I only get due to working) and child tax credits. He has never once given me money for her. But does have her 3 times a week. I pay 400 for nursery every month. 100 out of my own money (the rest with working tax). He has now told close friends that he is going to file for sole custody of her with no explanation of why. I've never hurt her she is my world. Regardless of this I still want to go for joint custody or a shared agreement. How do I go about it?
Justme_121 - 9-Jul-17 @ 11:19 AM
troy - Your Question:
My wife screams and shouts most days about anything. She often blames me for her behaviour. I am very concerned about my son, 3 years old, and the affect her screaming and shouting has on him. Sometimes her screaming is directed at him, sometimes at me, and sometimes at no one. I am very embarrassed to live in a house with her, the neighbours hear all her screaming and shouting. Sometimes her screaming makes my son cry. Sometimes she smacks him if he does something she doesn't like. I am growing very tired of living with my wife, and I really want to take my son and move out so we don't have to experience her behaviour. Please can you tell me what I should do?

Our Response:
You would really have to seek legal advice to find out what your options are. As you are registered as the father on your son's birth certificate you are considered equally responsible for being able to take care of your child. However, if you are not usually the primary carer of your son and you take your child away from the home without the consent of your wife, it will be up to the courts to decide who your child should live with. In cases of separation, it is usually the primary carer (the person who looks after your child on a day-to-day basis) who is allowed to continue to take care of the child. It's a tricky situation and one that needs careful consideration.
ChildSupportLaws - 7-Jul-17 @ 2:53 PM
Mourning5tar - Your Question:
I have a beautiful child with my ex. We were never married but there is no doubt that our son is mine.My ex has full custody of our son but lets me see him but only on her terms, as she refuses to put me on the birth certificate or even given me parental responsibility.For roughly about 5 months our son has been living with me whilst my ex has been dealing with mental health issues and "witness protection" *for one of her poor choices.She's making my life difficult saying that I have to move both our sons and my life around her whilst she gets all of the benefits.The more I deal with her the more convinced I am that I need to go for sole custody, but I'm a bit unsure what I need to prove that he's better off with me than his mother?

Our Response:
You would have to apply for parental responsibility and a child arrangement order which would determine who your child should live with - please see gov.uk link here. However, please keep in mind that your ex could come and reclaim your son at any time as you have no legal rights to keep hold of your son if you do not have PR. You may wish to seek legal advice in order to explore your best options.
ChildSupportLaws - 7-Jul-17 @ 11:47 AM
I have a beautiful child with my ex. We were never married but there is no doubt that our son is mine. My ex has full custody of our son but lets me see him but only on her terms, as she refuses to put me on the birth certificate or even given me parental responsibility. For roughly about 5 months our son has been living with me whilst my ex has been dealing with mental health issues and "witness protection" *for one of her poor choices. She's making my life difficult saying that I have to move both our sons and my life around her whilst she gets all of the benefits. The more I deal with her the more convinced i am that I need to go for sole custody, but I'm a bit unsure what I need to prove that he's better off with me than his mother?
Mourning5tar - 6-Jul-17 @ 10:40 PM
Share Your Story, Join the Discussion or Seek Advice...
Title:
(never shown)
Firstname:
(never shown)
Surname:
(never shown)
Email:
(never shown)
Nickname:
(shown)
Comment:
Validate:
Enter word:
Latest Comments
Further Reading...
Our Most Popular...
Add to my Yahoo!
Add to Google
Stumble this
Add to Twitter
Add To Facebook
RSS feed
You should seek independent professional advice before acting upon any information on the ChildSupportLaws website. Please read our Disclaimer.