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Child Custody Rights

By: Anna Martin - Updated: 19 Jul 2018 | comments*Discuss
 
Child Custody Residency Disputes Courts

In the UK child custody law determines who should be responsible for the care and charge of a child, after divorce or separation. The term custody is now more commonly referred to as residency - indicating where the children's main residence is, following a parental break up.

In the many cases, parents preference is for joint custody (or residency), which enables the child to spend an equal amount of time with each parent. This option also allows both parents to participate in any decision making which may affect the child. However, if parents are unable to decide amicably on what living arrangement is best for their child, the courts will decide on their behalf.

Parent Vs Parent

Most bitter disputes between married couples end up in the family courts. Whilst the separation and ensuing bitterness will undoubtedly affect the children it's important to remember that:
  • Most child residency court cases end amicably with either agreed residency or joint residency as the outcome
  • Access and maintenance payments from the non resident parent are also taken into consideration
  • In disputed cases each parent is individually assessed before a decision on which parent is given custody of the child, or children, is made

The best interests of the child is the general standard at the heart of all residency cases.

Joint Residency

Joint residency is considered to be the preferred solution as being in the best interests of most children.

BUT...there are no laws or 'rights' that state that a child should live specifically with either the mother or father.

Assuming you both have parental responsibility it is up to you to negotiate residency on the basis of what is best for the children. Many couples neglect to consider this fact and err on the side of what they themselves would prefer (or what suits them).

If you cannot come to an agreement, you should try mediation first. If that is unsuccessful, the courts will become involved and will issue a court order based on what it sees as appropriate.

Joint Residency Reflect Modern Society

The choice of joint residency, reflects the changes in society and takes into consideration work that mothers do outside of the home and a more hands-on approach of child care by fathers. By allowing both parents to have an equal share in the physical care of their child, or children, all legal rights connected to responsibilities and obligations to children are divided.

Custody Disputes

Most custody disputes involve the child’s mother and father. However, in some cases a third party – a grandparent, for instance – may seek custody at the time of a parent’s death or incapacity. If a couple has never married - making provisions for the care of their child may also develop into a dispute. Generally though a court will accept that a parent is in the best position to maintain the welfare of their child.

Unusual Circumstances

In some rare circumstances one parent may be permanently excluded from having any access to their child. However, the court has the right to change the decision at any point in time, should the parent’s circumstances change. The parent is able to re-apply for access at any time, and once an application is made the court may reconsider arrangements after examining evidence.

The Court Decides

The courts will generally accept custody arrangements that parents submit as part of their separation agreement. To ensure these arrangements serve the child’s interests the courts will review the plan. The role that grandparents, step-parents and other influential adults play in the child’s life may also be taken into consideration by the courts.

Changing Or Regaining Custody

Changing a child’s residency arrangements is possible. In order to support the change, substantial evidence of the stability the child will need to be submitted. There are many other factors to consider, which may include relocation of a parent, stability of employment, integration of the child into the new environment etc.

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Hi, I was wondering if you could give me advice regarding my children wishes to live with me instead of their dad. We are currently in dispute on where our children should live. They have experienced and chance to love with their dad but all 4 has been unhappy, they spend their time with me on weekends, sometimes during weekdays and holidays. My circumstances have changed and I’m now able to provide them with more comfortable living space. They have also expressed their wishes to come and live with me as they have never had the right parental support with their dad. The issue is that my ex would not accept the girls wishes and still insisting that it would be best for the children (12,14,17yrs old) to stay with him. We are also currently in dispute regarding the property we shared when we were together. Unfortunately I believe that he is using the children to protect him from being ordered to sell the property point so he could buy me out. Will the childrens wish be considered when deciding where they should live? Many thanks
SingleMum - 19-Jul-18 @ 4:26 AM
If i make a guilty plea to ABH (assault by beating), will my wife be able to keep my daughter from me or perhaps prevent any chance of getting a parental responsibility agreement or a 50/50 agreement if we split? Do criminal records affect parental rights? My wife & I have been having issues lately. We've stupidly been trading insults but never gotten physical until recently. We had a bad argument (not the worst ever) and on this occasion, she tried to slap and punch me. In hindsight, i feel she planned to provoke a reaction from me. I dodged all blows but she scratched me, tried to choke me and grabbed the nearest object, a piece of wood to hit me on the head. The first hit to the head didn't cause a lot of pain but the second caused my arm to swell. Our only child aged two was there, distressed but too young to bear witness. I know now that i should have just walked away but i didn't at the time. It felt like my wife couldn't control her need to exert physical pain on me. I wrestled the wood of her, punched her in the shoulder causing a bruise & hit her back with the wood yelling "don't you think you're hurting me". She kept baiting me by saying "is that all you got", "are you a coward?, can't you hit me in the face? and i noticed that she said she will call the police after she noticed a bruise appear on her shoulder. I've been told by some that she must have been frustrated for a while but others feel she might have indeed considered that physical abuse will ensure we can part ways & give her favourable terms with my daughter. I was arrested after she called the police and on my assigned lawyer's advice, gave a statement and said no comment to all questions. A friend of mine claims that his ex wife intentionally did something similar. She was told constantly by family & mediators to patch things up rather than leave but no longer entertained reconciliation after she was able to draw out a physical fight (in his opinion). I honestly do not know if the event was orchestrated, if she's upset, frustrated or perhaps fallen out of love with me or in love with someone else. Since i got bail, I've listened to her police call (she used my phone that has an app that auto records all calls) and also read her police statement and to my shock, it's extremely damaging. It paints a picture off a husband that constantly beats his wife and a wife that is extremely scared of her life and that of her DAUGHTER. A mutual friend that is a solicitor said she can't represent me but has advised me to brace for the worst rather than expect love, common sense or reflection to kick in. In her opinion, every angry woman still knows that there's a limit you can tell the law if you want a chance of reconciliation and she seems to still be trying to exceed that limit. My lawyer has advised me to plead guilty early before the given court date because even though the physical aggression wasn't started by me, i had the ability to walk away rathe
Best Dad - 6-Jul-18 @ 4:39 AM
Hi I have just got out of a domestic violent relationship and I don't feel he has the mental or emotional capacity to look after our child as he has always puts his needs first before our child's and never thinks on how situation are going to affect our son just yesterday he reported me for bruises every child get while playing he didn't do this out of concern just to purely get to me and my son had to be woken up in middle of the night I had to undress him and watching my son's confusion on his face was horrible and he would make remarked on him having food in his hair when that's what a child's of nearly 2 years old does they get messing especially when they are eating. He hasn't been arrested yet for my report and he was asking to see our son I said let's wait until your arrested because if our son is there when his dad is been in arrested in wouldn't been nice for him to see and that he would be left alone with people he hardly knows and that will upset him more my ex didn't understand this and didn't care he just wanted to see his son because that is more important than our son being upset. In the relationship he would claim to hear voices telling him to put knives towards me and strangle me and bash me head of a floor he made these voice up i know because he said i can turn them on and off but if you hear voice you hear them weither you like it or not he was using them as an excuse to get away with his aggrestive behaviour and his controling behavouir he has fits and he also thinks that it is funny to tell lies to get what he wants and he finds it funny that he can manipulate people claims to not trust me with our son he said while we were together and after were I have serious concerns about our son being with his farther advice please
unknown - 27-Jun-18 @ 11:52 AM
Csuk - Your Question:
I’m getting divorced we have a 12 month old girl. A year into living together he said he does not have money, inhave another daughter from my first marriage. He promised to take care of me and daughter and he was lucky at 54 to have a family. I’m 41. I was scared but believed him. I earn good money but have loads of debt from my first divorce. I moved back to my parents. We said he can have her Thursdays and Fridays. Now he is demanding Wednesday and bring her back Saturday. He lives in another city now. The baby cries whenever I leave the room and will not go to anyone else since this started. He is arrogant and damaged my eldest one. We agreed he will pay around 440 for nursery which he now makes threats he will not. How can I get full custody? Him and his sisters are playing happy families whereas I risked my mental ability post natal depression. Advice please

Our Response:
Your only recourse to sort out access is via the link here . Your ex is not obliged to pay nursery fees (you would have to agree this between you), but he is legally obliged to pay child maintenance.
ChildSupportLaws - 26-Jun-18 @ 11:52 AM
I’m getting divorced we have a 12 month old girl. A year into living together he said he does not have money, inhave another daughter from my first marriage. He promised to take care of me and daughter and he was lucky at 54 to have a family. I’m 41. I was scared but believed him. I earn good money but have loads of debt from my first divorce. I moved back to my parents. We said he can have her Thursdays and Fridays. Now he is demanding Wednesday and bring her back Saturday. He lives in another city now. The baby cries whenever I leave the room and will not go to anyone else since this started. He is arrogant and damaged my eldest one. We agreed he will pay around 440 for nursery which he now makes threats he will not. How can I get full custody? Him and his sisters are playing happy families whereas I risked my mental ability post natal depression. Advice please
Csuk - 25-Jun-18 @ 7:09 PM
Abbie - Your Question:
I’m hoping to get some advice on where I stand regarding access/contact with my younger sister. My mother and her boyfriend had a difficult relationship in which I believe he was emotionally abusive towards her. Their relationship eventually broke down and she left him which he was not happy about. They shared custody over my sister, who was 4 at the time, but this arrangement also broke down and they went through mediation where it was agreed they would share custody of her. Sadly after mediated my mother let him take her to live with him and we haven’t seen her since. He does not answer our messages or make any attempt to contact us even though we’ve tried on numerous occasions to contact him. My mother for some reason unbeknown to myself and other sisters will not go back to court or challenge him for her rights to my sister. It’s now been 4 more years and we haven’t seen her in all this time. It is heartbreaking for us to know that she lives close by but we are unable to be part of her life. She now has a niece and nephew that she has never met. She is the youngest of 5 sisters who are desperate to see her and I need some advice on what to do regarding obtaining contact. Thank you.

Our Response:
Court is the only option if your mother refuses to do anything about the matter. You don't say how old you are - but if you are over 18, you may be able to apply to court. You would have to seek legal advice regarding this matter. The Citizens Advice Bureau may be able to offer some free legal advice.
ChildSupportLaws - 25-Jun-18 @ 12:13 PM
I’m hoping to get some advice on where I stand regarding access/contact with my younger sister. My mother and her boyfriend had a difficult relationship in which I believe he was emotionally abusive towards her. Their relationship eventually broke down and she left him which he was not happy about. They shared custody over my sister, who was 4 at the time, but this arrangement also broke down and they went through mediation where it was agreed they would share custody of her. Sadly after mediated my mother let him take her to live with him and we haven’t seen her since. He does not answer our messages or make any attempt to contact us even though we’ve tried on numerous occasions to contact him. My mother for some reason unbeknown to myself and other sisters will not go back to court or challenge him for her rights to my sister. It’s now been 4 more years and we haven’t seen her in all this time. It is heartbreaking for us to know that she lives close by but we are unable to be part of her life. She now has a niece and nephew that she has never met. She is the youngest of 5 sisters who are desperate to see her and I need some advice on what to do regarding obtaining contact. Thank you.
Abbie - 24-Jun-18 @ 5:30 PM
nissy - Your Question:
I have had my son living with me from birth , myself and partner were not married , my son was born in 2004 , I had a terrible time when I was with my partner and also when we split up when my son was 8 weeks old , he has continously took me to court to try to get residency (custody) , he had a nasty streak about him to which everyone who knows him is almost scared of , when I came out of womens refuge after 13 months I felt so confident that myself and my son were going to be fine , get on with life and enjoy it , howerver it was very different the worst I feared happened my ex partner continued to harras us break into our home smash things up , hit me and have my son upset with lots of noise chaos , domestic abuse was not as big as it is now and I did not know I got help after I was in refuge , my sons father was still on bale conditions I understand and was not aloud near us yet still was only taken away and nothing ever happened , he broke my car outside he broke off my indicators both sides and mirrors and I could not take my son to nursery for few days as he was challenging as it was , and to walk it was quite a distance for my son , also he smashed the only tv we had in outlr house which he new our son watched his favourite programs on ccbeebies , he had drove up to klmy home drunk also but at the time I did not know because I could not see his car round the corner from my home , it was the next morning itl would be sitting there and because he had not been for it yet if I had known I would have told the police after all he was planning and demanding to take my son , he had access to our son on a saturday once a week which him himself took me to court for after he was getting access it has never stopped I wouldnt do that due to the fact I never seen my own father for over 18 years , so he was granted access from the judge from friday to monday every second weekend then he took me back to court to get it then vlcut back down to a saturday and beholed he got this , I was shocked at the court system I really was the fact he could do as he pleases and use the power of the courts to do so without parental rights etc , so my son got older more challenging and suddely started being violent towards myself to a point I could not control him , he was so violentowards me and refusing to go to school , he was also diagnosed with adhd the same week he was taken into care , and now after two years he is ready to come home and the whole childrens hearing has been turned into a custody battle by my sons father now he has lied about me the whole time he has manipulated my son and social workers and has my son , please help

Our Response:
We cannot anticipate what a court may decide. As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the child in question. The court will always put the child’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order.
ChildSupportLaws - 22-Jun-18 @ 2:43 PM
@S - I'd write to the court and request a copy of the document.
Nat88 - 22-Jun-18 @ 1:57 PM
I have had my son living with me from birth , myself and partner were not married , my son was born in 2004 , i had a terrible time when i was with my partner and also when we split up when my son was 8 weeks old , he has continously took me to court to try to get residency (custody) , he had a nasty streak about him to which everyone who knows him is almost scared of , when i came out of womens refuge after 13 months i felt so confident that myself and my son were going to be fine , get on with life and enjoy it , howerver it was very different the worst i feared happened my ex partner continued to harras us break into our home smash things up , hit me and have my son upset with lots of noise chaos, domestic abuse was not as big as it is now and i did not know i got help after i was in refuge , my sons father was still on bale conditions i understand and was not aloud near us yet still was only taken away and nothing ever happened , he broke my car outside he broke off my indicators both sides and mirrors and i could not take my son to nursery for few days as he was challenging as it was , and to walk it was quite a distance for my son , also he smashed the only tv we had in outlr house which he new our son watched his favourite programs on ccbeebies , he had drove up to klmy home drunk also but at the time i did not know because i could not see his car round the corner from my home , it was the next morning itl would be sitting there and because he had not been for it yet if i had known i would have told the police after all he was planning and demanding to take my son , he had access to our son on a saturday once a week which him himself took me to court for after he was getting access it has never stopped i wouldnt do that due to the fact i never seen my own father for over 18 years , so he was granted access from the judge from friday to monday every second weekend then he took me back to court to get it then vlcut back down to a saturday and beholed he got this , i was shocked at the court system i really was the fact he could do as he pleases and use the power of the courts to do so without parental rights etc , so my son got older more challenging and suddely started being violent towards myself to a point i could not control him , he was so violentowards me and refusing to go to school , he was also diagnosed with adhd the same week he was taken into care , and now after two years he is ready to come home and the whole childrens hearing has been turned into a custody battle by my sons father now he has lied about me the whole time he has manipulated my son and social workers and has my son , please help
nissy - 22-Jun-18 @ 12:03 AM
Hi I have been divorced from my ex and have a decree absolute in 2014. My son who is 6 years old lives with me with no contact with his dad for the last 5 years as we separated due to domestic violence on child and myself and the father lives in another country. My divorce application mentioned that my son will live with me and my ex didn’t contest this. I am worried that I don’t have a legal document which mentioned that I have custody. Also in case his father tracks us and takes him away from his school . Could you please advise what I should do.
S - 21-Jun-18 @ 9:00 PM
Kat - Your Question:
Looking for some advice if possible. I was in a relationship which I thought was great we had a child together perfect then when my child was exactly a month old my now ex partner was arrested for assaulting his step daughter for many years to which I was in aware off. He is in prison till 2022 then no contact till 18yrs old I have been through hell and back and wasn't sure if there is a case for me to get sole custody of my child

Our Response:
You already have 'sole' custody of your child by the very nature of your ex's criminal record. However, if you wish to apply for an official child arrangement order you would have to apply to court, please see link here.
ChildSupportLaws - 21-Jun-18 @ 2:47 PM
Disappointed - Your Question:
I've been broke up with my partner for 4 months now after a 9 year relationship, we have a 6 year old boy together. In the beginning we agreed to half all assets and to half all debts, as the 4 months have gone she has become increasingly unreasonable. She had started seeing another man about 4 weeks after the split and began to go back on agreements, not paying any of he debts as they were in my name and keeping holiday savings which were in her name. She then disagreed with the 50/50 split of the house, trying to give me far less. The new man has been staying in the house a few nights a week when my son is there and I still don't know who he is. She has now mentioned she is going to book a holiday abroad at the end of the year, which caused me to question were the money was coming from if she "in her words" can't afford the debt, not to mention the half foot tattoo that's appeared on her back which aren't cheap. Because of my outburst I've now been threatened never to see my son again. Although I'm struggling financially and living at parents to control this disaster, the final straw has been being threatened with my son. I currently have him 3 days a week, which are the days she works (babysitter) I have no custody agreement as a Dad and she constantly changes her shifts to suit her so she takes him off me on the agreed day. I also work 4 on 4 off so my shifts move around in the week and my Mam babysits if my shift lands on her days at work. Complicated. How can I stop her threatening me with no contact?

Our Response:
Unfortunately, your only recourse is to suggest mediation or if she refuses take the matter to court, please see link here which will explain more.
ChildSupportLaws - 21-Jun-18 @ 12:03 PM
Maddad - Your Question:
I split with my wife 9 years ago we had 3 children together 2 girls and a boy I was seeing them all very regular until I started raising issues with certain aspects of their upbringing and was stopped seeing them all after a lot of fighting I was finally able to start seeing them all again now my son has adhd long story short there have been a few concerns with underage sex in my girls and now my son has just been accused of an indecent assault on his much younger sister the police and Soial workers are now involved he has been cleared by the police but the social worker have to a full investigation whilst this is happening he is being forced to live with his grandparents and now missing school his mum doesn’t know if he will be able to come back home I have tried to get him here with me in my family home how can I now go about getting full custody as I now worry about his stepdad and step sister having him back in the house

Our Response:
You would have to speak to your son's social workers to see what the situation is and what your options are. They should be able to advise. Alternatively, please see the link here , which is an option you can take. You may also wish to seek legal advice in order to fully explore your options.
ChildSupportLaws - 21-Jun-18 @ 9:53 AM
Looking for some advice if possible. I was in a relationship which I thought was great we had a child together perfect then when my child was exactly amonth old my now ex partner was arrested for assaulting his step daughter for many years to which I was in aware off. He is in prison till 2022 then no contact till 18yrs old I have been through hell and back and wasn't sure if there is a case for me to get sole custody of my child
Kat - 20-Jun-18 @ 10:56 PM
I've been broke up with my partner for 4 months now after a 9 year relationship, we have a 6 year old boy together. In the beginning we agreed to half all assets and to half all debts, as the 4 months have gone she has become increasingly unreasonable. She had started seeing another man about 4 weeks after the split and began to go back on agreements, not paying any of he debts as they were in my name and keeping holiday savings which were in her name. She then disagreed with the 50/50 split of the house, trying to give me far less. The new man has been staying in the house a few nights a week when my son is there and i still don'tknow who he is. She has now mentioned she is going to book a holiday abroad at the end of the year, which caused me to question were the money was coming from if she "in her words" can't afford the debt, not to mention the half foot tattoo that's appeared on her back which aren't cheap. Because of my outburst I've now been threatened never to see my son again. Although I'm struggling financially and living at parents to control this disaster, the final straw has been being threatened with my son. I currently have him 3 days a week, which are the days she works (babysitter) i have no custody agreement as a Dad and she constantly changes her shifts to suit her so she takes him off me on the agreed day. I also work 4 on 4 off so my shifts move around in the week and my Mam babysits if my shift lands on her days at work. Complicated. How can i stop her threatening me with no contact?
Disappointed - 20-Jun-18 @ 7:34 PM
I split with my wife 9 years ago we had 3 children together 2 girls and a boy I was seeing them all very regular until I started raising issues with certain aspects of their upbringing and was stopped seeing them all after a lot of fighting I was finally able to start seeing them all again now my son has adhd long story short there have been a few concerns with underage sex in my girls and now my son has just been accused of an indecent assault on his much younger sister the police and Soial workers are now involved he has been cleared by the police but the social worker have to a full investigation whilst this is happening he is being forced to live with his grandparents and now missing school his mum doesn’t know if he will be able to come back home I have tried to get him here with me in my family home how can I now go about getting full custody as I now worry about his stepdad and step sister having him back in the house
Maddad - 20-Jun-18 @ 6:11 PM
Being manipulated to bed back with my ex. He won't talk and out or see his son. I sent him pictures on fathersday being adult and he said he didn't want any pictures. I have decided abuse and constant controlling behaviour towards me. We can not talk about acess because he won't do anything buy row. I have a mental health condition that he tries to use against me. Even tho I've had full custody of my eldest son for 15 years. He is unpredictable and I don't trust him alone with the baby. After I found him shaking him. I didn't invoke the police because me manipated me into thinking it was a mistake. I was to scared to talk but eventually I did with my mental health team to log it. My family and 2 friends now to. I. Worried he will get visitation. My baby was premature and it still very needy to which he has no interest. How can I get full custody as he is on the birth certificate. His family show no interest in the baby either. So I would rather cut ties and aloud my kids to be brought up not around drama of a man who only wants conflict. We are not married
Cl77 - 20-Jun-18 @ 8:53 AM
S246 - Your Question:
I have been split from my ex since 2011 when he assaulted me. He see's our 7 year old son once a month sometimes a little more depending on if he has plans. He has always seen him when and if it suits him and was forced to pay maintenance when I went to CSA back last year. However he is on the birth certificate. He is due to have a baby this year and is now trying to play the perfect father threatening to take me to court for shared custody. I'm really worried he may get this? He's never been there through anything important in his life and expects me and our sons step dad to do all the running around.

Our Response:
It is highly unlikely your child's father will be granted shared care.
ChildSupportLaws - 19-Jun-18 @ 3:00 PM
I have been split from my ex since 2011 when he assaulted me. He see's our 7 year old son once a month sometimes a little more depending on if he has plans. He has always seen him when and if it suits him and was forced to pay maintenance when I went to CSA back last year. However he is on the birth certificate. He is due to have a baby this year and is now trying to play the perfect father threatening to take me to court for shared custody. I'm really worried he may get this? He's never been there through anything important in his life and expects me and our sons step dad to do all the running around.
S246 - 18-Jun-18 @ 10:52 PM
Rache - Your Question:
My wife and I split up in August 2016, by September 16 I changed my gender from male to female which is still ongoing, so I am a transgender parent. However, when my wife left the family home our son chose to stay with me which he has been happily residing ever since. In that time, almost two years, she sees him about once a month (she now lives about an hour away ) and he has never spent a night away with her or gone on holiday with her and her new partner (family ). This is all by my son's choosing. What I am asking, do I have the right to claim sole custody ? I have over this time been responsible for the decision making, financially, educationally, and in general. She does pay maintenance on time and we haven't yet started divorce procedures. Thank you.

Our Response:
If you are in receipt of child benefit, then you are deemed the primary carer of your child. Unless there is an issue and your ex wishes to try to claim residency of your child, then you are the person with 'sole custody'. Likewise, if your ex tried to take the matter to court to claim your child, then it would be highly unlikely for your ex to be awarded residency. It is rare a court would rule to change the home and primary carer of a child unless absolutely necessary.
ChildSupportLaws - 18-Jun-18 @ 12:43 PM
ConcernedSis - Your Question:
My sister-in-law was arrested and charged with assaulting my brother last week, she’s an alcoholic and often hits him - this has been going on for a few years now. They have 5yr and 3yr old boys and my brother wants to file for divorce and seek full custody of the family home and boys - is this possible? Note that she’s never hit the boys and when sober she’s a great mum - all the problems come from drinking.

Our Response:
The link here, should help answer your question. Your brother may wish to seek legal advice to see whether he has a case.
ChildSupportLaws - 18-Jun-18 @ 12:17 PM
My sister-in-law was arrested and charged with assaulting my brother last week, she’s an alcoholic and often hits him - this has been going on for a few years now. They have 5yr and 3yr old boys and my brother wants to file for divorce and seek full custody of the family home and boys - is this possible? Note that she’s never hit the boys and when sober she’s a great mum - all the problems come from drinking...
ConcernedSis - 16-Jun-18 @ 2:16 PM
My wife and I split up in August 2016, by September 16 I changed my gender from male to female which is still ongoing, so I am a transgender parent.However, when my wife left the family home our son chose to stay with me which he has been happily residing ever since. In that time, almost two years, she sees him about once a month(she now lives about an hour away ) and he has never spent a night away with her or gone on holiday with her and her new partner(family ). This is all by my son's choosing. What I am asking, do I have the right to claim sole custody ? I have over this time been responsible for the decision making, financially, educationally, and in general. She does pay maintenance on time and we haven't yet started divorce procedures. Thank you.
Rache - 16-Jun-18 @ 10:03 AM
Nanna - Your Question:
My son and his ex have joint custody over their 9 yr old son. my son currently still lives at home with me and his girlfriend of nearly 3yrs. They are looking to either rent or buy very soon. However the girlfriend has suggested that they move an hour and a half away to be nearer to her family. and then get full custody of the lad. The ex has twin boys by a guy and is expecting twins by a new boyfriend. She is a caring albeit very busy mum. and deeply cares for all her brood. She would be devastated if she lost joint custody. Also me and my husband are very close to the lad and are worried what effect this would have on our relationship with him

Our Response:
A court would never give a child over to another parent unless absolutely necessary. It is highly unlikely your son would be awarded full-residency of the child on the basis of moving nearer, unless there was a significant welfare/safeguarding issue and social services were involved.
ChildSupportLaws - 15-Jun-18 @ 2:18 PM
My son and his ex have joint custody over their 9 yr old son.... my son currently still lives at home with me and his girlfriend of nearly 3yrs.They are looking to either rent or buy very soon. However the girlfriend has suggested that they move an hour and a half away to be nearer to her family... and then get full custody of the lad. The ex has twin boys by a guy and is expecting twins by a new boyfriend.She is a caring albeit very busy mum... and deeply cares for all her brood. She would be devastated if she lost joint custody. Also me and my husband are very close to the lad and are worried what effect this would have on our relationship with him
Nanna - 14-Jun-18 @ 11:03 PM
SotonDad - Your Question:
Good eveningI have a 7 year old daughter, I've been split with her mum for 5 years(I've paid every month, without fail, for my daughter) , and I have a new partner (who I have been with for 4 years). Together we have a more stable home, both have better jobs, live within her school catchment area (her mother doesn't) and I have my daughter a minimum of 2 nights a week EVERY week. My daughter is desperate to live with us, and we would love to have her here full time. Is this something I have a chance with through the courts? Her mum will not allow her to move in with me. And I believe because she will then miss out from my money/tax credits.I feel at a loss and it tears me apart, seeing my daughter going 'home' and unhappy each week. Any help or advice is very much appreciated

Our Response:
Unless it is absolutely necessary, a court will not take a child from one parent and hand the child to another parent. The reason has to be proved, justified and significant.
ChildSupportLaws - 14-Jun-18 @ 12:47 PM
Dm82 - Your Question:
Hi I'm worried sick and just need some reassurance please. My now ex was arrested for assault by beating me (actually strangling but classed as beating) witnessed by our 4 year old. He is in court in August. As explained to the police it was the 9th assault and I'd been suffering emotionally and physically for years, he had never physically hurt our daughter but had started emotional abuse. He never lived with us and I never ever left him alone with her and I always intervened if he started being horrible to her, and then took abuse myself. I have page's and pages i'v written of things he's said and done /his behaviors towards her (not mentioning abuse suffered by myself as I believe that's separate in a family court?). But examples of how he's never parented her, just controlled.the first incident she was 4 months old and I was punched unconscious whilst I was holding her for trying to discuss money as my maternity pay was due to end. From that day on I never trusted him with her, tried split up with him giving that as the reason,, but he could obviously be nice too and made me feel I needed him, made me feel worthless etc. Now he was making our daughter feel that too.He seems to be charming social services as they've told me they won't help with contact and it would have to be done between us or solicitors after the trial in August. Im terrified a court would allow him unsupervised access /have her at his house where he lives with his controlling abusive mother (he's 49, she s 68). How likely is it please that a court would allow him to have her any length of time unsupervised? No application has been made yet, I'm just panicking already and gathering as much evidence as I can eg 4 years of Facebook messages I'd sent to a couple of friends after each incident.Two witnesses have come forward to give evidence about seeing him attack me on the street on a separate occasion to the arrest. I need to add, he never even spent an entire day and night at my house he would come and go when it suited him, turn up for an hour then turn his phone off and not even ask about her in days into weeks,and that was the norm for years the most recent event he didn't see her in 3 weeks including over her birthday, no card, no call, no visit, no present. She asked why daddy didn't like her, it was heartbreaking. I'v only briefly outlined what went on, the emotional damage hes had on her is awful and she was referred for counselling. At age 4.Im doing all I can to protect her, she's had no contact in 8 weeks due to bail, but the three weeks prior to the incident she saw him twice one of which the assault occurred) and is now saying she's scared daddy will hurt her like he hurt mummy and doesn't want to see him. I would be fine with supervised contact in a contact centre etc to keep a relationship between them. As like I said there were good times too. But he was like two different people. but absolutely no way do

Our Response:
I can only say to you, as in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the child in question. The court will always put the child’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order. Cafcass will get involved t’s their job to interview both parents in the case, as well as the children, and any others who might be needed, which could mean social workers, medical professionals, or even relatives. The court wish for parents to decide through mediation, with court always seen as the last resort. However, if you feel that your ex should not have unsupervised access to your child and he is on bail for assualt, then all the evidence you can provide in support of this should go in your favour if an application is made.
ChildSupportLaws - 14-Jun-18 @ 9:22 AM
Hi I'm worried sick and just need some reassurance please. My now ex was arrested for assault by beating me (actually strangling but classed as beating) witnessed by our 4 year old. He is in court in August. As explained to the police it was the 9th assault and I'd been suffering emotionally and physically for years, he had never physically hurt our daughter but had started emotional abuse. He never lived with us and I never ever left him alone with her and I always intervened if he started being horrible to her, and then took abuse myself. I have page's and pages i'v writtenof things he's said and done /his behaviors towards her (not mentioning abuse suffered by myself as I believe that's separate in a family court?)... But examples of how he's never parented her, just controlled..the first incident she was 4 months old and I was punched unconscious whilst I was holding her for trying to discuss money as my maternity pay was due to end.... From that day on I never trusted him with her, tried split up with him giving that as the reason,, but he could obviously be nice too and made me feel I needed him, made me feel worthless etc. Now he was making our daughter feel that too. He seems to be charming social services as they've told me they won't help with contact and it would have to be done between us or solicitors after the trial in August. Im terrified a court would allow him unsupervised access /have her at his house where he liveswith his controlling abusive mother (he's 49, she s 68). How likely is it please that a court would allow him to have her any length of time unsupervised? No application has been made yet, I'm just panicking already and gathering as much evidence as I can eg 4 years of Facebook messages I'd sent to a couple of friends after each incident... Two witnesses have come forward to give evidence about seeing him attack me on the street on a separate occasion to the arrest... I need to add, he never even spent an entire day and night at my house he would come and go when it suited him, turn up for an hour then turn his phone off and not even ask about her in days into weeks,and that was the norm for yearsthe most recent event he didn't see her in 3 weeks including over her birthday, no card, no call, no visit, no present.. She asked why daddy didn't like her, it was heartbreaking. I'v only briefly outlined what went on, the emotional damage hes had on her is awful and she was referred for counselling... At age 4... Im doing all I can to protect her, she's had no contact in 8 weeks due to bail, but the three weeks prior to the incident she saw him twice one of which the assault occurred) and is now saying she's scared daddy will hurt her like he hurt mummy and doesn't want to see him.. I would be fine with supervised contact in a contact centre etc to keep a relationship between them... As like I said there were good times too.. But he was like two different people...... but absolutely no way do
Dm82 - 13-Jun-18 @ 12:09 AM
Good evening I have a 7 year old daughter, I've been split with her mum for 5 years(I've paid every month, without fail, for my daughter) , and I have a new partner (who I have been with for 4 years). Together we have a more stable home, both have better jobs, live within her school catchment area (her mother doesn't) and I have my daughter a minimum of 2 nights a week EVERY week. My daughter is desperate to live with us, and we would love to have her here full time. Is this something I have a chance with through the courts? Her mum will not allow her to move in with me... And I believe because she will then miss out from my money/tax credits. I feel at a loss and it tears me apart, seeing my daughter going 'home' and unhappy each week. Any help or advice is very much appreciated
SotonDad - 12-Jun-18 @ 9:33 PM
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