Home > Child Support & Family > Child Custody Rights

Child Custody Rights

By: Anna Martin - Updated: 17 Sep 2018 | comments*Discuss
 
Child Custody Residency Disputes Courts

In the UK child custody law determines who should be responsible for the care and charge of a child, after divorce or separation. The term custody is now more commonly referred to as residency - indicating where the children's main residence is, following a parental break up.

In the many cases, parents preference is for joint custody (or residency), which enables the child to spend an equal amount of time with each parent. This option also allows both parents to participate in any decision making which may affect the child. However, if parents are unable to decide amicably on what living arrangement is best for their child, the courts will decide on their behalf.

Parent Vs Parent

Most bitter disputes between married couples end up in the family courts. Whilst the separation and ensuing bitterness will undoubtedly affect the children it's important to remember that:
  • Most child residency court cases end amicably with either agreed residency or joint residency as the outcome
  • Access and maintenance payments from the non resident parent are also taken into consideration
  • In disputed cases each parent is individually assessed before a decision on which parent is given custody of the child, or children, is made

The best interests of the child is the general standard at the heart of all residency cases.

Joint Residency

Joint residency is considered to be the preferred solution as being in the best interests of most children.

BUT...there are no laws or 'rights' that state that a child should live specifically with either the mother or father.

Assuming you both have parental responsibility it is up to you to negotiate residency on the basis of what is best for the children. Many couples neglect to consider this fact and err on the side of what they themselves would prefer (or what suits them).

If you cannot come to an agreement, you should try mediation first. If that is unsuccessful, the courts will become involved and will issue a court order based on what it sees as appropriate.

Joint Residency Reflect Modern Society

The choice of joint residency, reflects the changes in society and takes into consideration work that mothers do outside of the home and a more hands-on approach of child care by fathers. By allowing both parents to have an equal share in the physical care of their child, or children, all legal rights connected to responsibilities and obligations to children are divided.

Custody Disputes

Most custody disputes involve the child’s mother and father. However, in some cases a third party – a grandparent, for instance – may seek custody at the time of a parent’s death or incapacity. If a couple has never married - making provisions for the care of their child may also develop into a dispute. Generally though a court will accept that a parent is in the best position to maintain the welfare of their child.

Unusual Circumstances

In some rare circumstances one parent may be permanently excluded from having any access to their child. However, the court has the right to change the decision at any point in time, should the parent’s circumstances change. The parent is able to re-apply for access at any time, and once an application is made the court may reconsider arrangements after examining evidence.

The Court Decides

The courts will generally accept custody arrangements that parents submit as part of their separation agreement. To ensure these arrangements serve the child’s interests the courts will review the plan. The role that grandparents, step-parents and other influential adults play in the child’s life may also be taken into consideration by the courts.

Changing Or Regaining Custody

Changing a child’s residency arrangements is possible. In order to support the change, substantial evidence of the stability the child will need to be submitted. There are many other factors to consider, which may include relocation of a parent, stability of employment, integration of the child into the new environment etc.

You might also like...
Share Your Story, Join the Discussion or Seek Advice..
[Add a Comment]
Lunaa - Your Question:
I separated from my partner almost a year ago. He has our son once a week or once a fortnight but refuses to have him more than one night and tells me that's what my family is for. I'm looking at moving somewhere else with my son for a new start but my ex is threatening me saying I can't without his say. What can I do? He hardly sees his son so will it be worth getting full custody?

Our Response:
Regardless of how often your ex has your son overnight, if you wish to move from the area by law you have to ask for his consent. If he refuses, then you would have to refer the matter to court. If the father does not have your son often, then it is likely the courts would allow your move. As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the child in question. The court will always put the child’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order.
ChildSupportLaws - 18-Sep-18 @ 12:50 PM
I separated from my partner almost a year ago. He has our son once a week or once a fortnight but refuses to have him more than one night and tells me that's what my family is for. I'm looking at moving somewhere else with my son for a new start but my ex is threatening me saying I can't without his say. What can I do? He hardly sees his son so will it be worth getting full custody?
Lunaa - 17-Sep-18 @ 6:20 PM
Hi I am about to go through a divorce I separated from my husband in 2017 he met someone new within a few month which am not bothered about am glad he has moved on but my daughter doesn't like her when she was four her dad left my daughter on my door step and drove off before I got to the door my daughter was crying so I asked what was wrong his new girlfriend had said she didn't want my daughter and she was making them unhappy so I stopped her seeing the women I never said she couldn't see her dad just his girlfriend however even tho my daughter said she didn't want to see her he told my child he was having a party so she would have to go to their house I didn't no this till she got back when she got back she was really quiet and I new he had took her their without my daughter wanting to go. They now have a new baby and live in a 2 bedroom house she has a child already and my child and hers shared a room which she didn't want to do as her child is male and I think it's wrong. he doesn't let his parents see his new child and my child loves seeing her grandparents they see her whenever they can and I would never stop them seeing her he hasn't seen my child since May he doesn't call or text to make sure she is OK he never has and he has stopped paying for her over the past 2 month I want to go for full custody cos I don't trust them and I don't Want them turning up and taking her one day am just scared if I go to court I may lose her does anyone have any advice
Worried parent - 11-Sep-18 @ 10:35 PM
My partner has a child from a previous relationship who is 7, we have a court order in place for contact but recently social service are involved in her behalf for drug use,neglecting the kids (she has another child)- has has failed a drug test with them which shows she is still using- she also drinks a lot.. do you think my partner could get 50/50 custody? She currently has him a few days more then him. We are so worried about his welfare. We just wants what’s for him. Thanks
Dmb12 - 10-Sep-18 @ 10:11 AM
Shelly - Your Question:
My husband and myself separated 11 yrs ago for nearly three years in that time he met someone else and they had a child. When the child was 2.5 yrs old my husband and I reconciled he moved back to our marital home, he had been back a matter of months when she announced she was six months pregnant. When the eldest child was three yrs old she had just given birth to the second child the three yr old came to live with my husband,me and our two children this has been on going he is nine now so has lived with us for six years in that time the youngest child has also come to live with us he has been with us 18 months. She has never provided financially,contacted them regarding there welfare they have both been under speech and language experts for there speech and vocabulary she never allowed her parents contact when she did have them this is now a regular arrangement which grandparents and kids love we have done so much and sacrificed even more for the well-being of those boys, but my husband thinks she can just come along and up root the boys and have them back in her custody after all this time is he right? Please help

Our Response:
It is a tricky question to answer as all parents who have parental responsibility can care for the children (unless a court order says otherwise). If your husband is on the birth certificate (so has PR) then he can legally care for the children. If he is not registered on the birth certificate, then his ex would have the authority to come and take the children without his consent. In order to make living arrangements official, then your husband would have to apply through the courts, please see the link here. Or an arrangement can be made via mediation. If your husband's ex wife does come and take the children, then your husband would have to apply to court to have them returned. As he has been the primary carer for a good while, then it is likely the courts would return the children to him (unless there was a very good reason otherwise).
ChildSupportLaws - 7-Sep-18 @ 2:34 PM
My husband and myself separated 11 yrs ago for nearly three years in that time he met someone else and they had a child. When the child was 2.5 yrs old my husband and I reconciled he moved back to our marital home, he had been back a matter of months when she announced she was six months pregnant. When the eldest child was three yrs old she had just given birth to the second child the three yr old came to live with my husband,me and our two children this has been on going he is nine now so has lived with us for six years in that time the youngest child has also come to live with us he has been with us 18 months. She has never provided financially,contacted them regarding there welfare they have both been under speech and language experts for there speech and vocabulary she never allowed her parents contact when she did have them this is now a regular arrangement which grandparents and kids love we have done so much and sacrificed even more for the well-being of those boys, but my husband thinks she can just come along and up root the boys and have them back in her custody after all this time is he right? Please help
Shelly - 4-Sep-18 @ 4:25 PM
@Ella - do you really want your ex to have contact with your son after what you say he has done? There is a good reason why the refuge doesn't want you to have contact. You would have residency of your child if you have always been the primary carer. You might want to ask the refuge what the process should be - but I'd be pretty hesitant to allow anything other than supervised contact.
JuN - 3-Sep-18 @ 2:07 PM
Me and my 4 year old son staying at a refuge accommodation for almost 2 weeks now due to domestic abuse. I was married for more than 8 years and i can't bear the physical, emotional and financial abuse no more, and plus seeing my son suffer is too much. Now, I just want the separtion to be easy for my son as he is asking for his dad but as a refuge rules we're not allowed to have an open communication with him. I want to talk to him and ask what he want's from this separation and maybe we can just have an agreement on when he can spend time with our son as i still want him to be part of my son's life. Im worried about who's gonna have the custody is it me or him? I am the primary carer of my son, even before my son was born he was in a child's protection due to his dad'sprevious history of domestic abuse from his previous marriage and he served 5 yrs in prison because of arson. Please i need some advice Many thanks
Ella - 2-Sep-18 @ 11:21 PM
Hi there, me and my partner (ex now) had a wee boy I'm September 2011 and we split a few month later. Now for a full year after the split we had shared custody of our son 3.5 days a week each chopping and changing days to suit each other with work and training etc. Now after a year of this with no lawyers being involved (after me repeatedly asking to have something done in writing) she decided she didn't want me being part of our sons life because she had a new partner and was moving on. So for a year and a half I went through court to get my son back eventually after all that time without seeing my son or his mum I was granted 3.5 days a week with my son by court order. I managed I get a message to her saying so and within half an hour she was at my door reading the court order and said that she will not adhere to it and she will not let me see our son. So I went back to the lawyers and he said "we will just get her put in jail" which instantly put fear in to me the idea of taking his mother away from him even tho she done it to me I couldn't do that so I left it at that believing that if I pursued it he'd have his mother taken away and she is the only consistent being he has ever had. Now its 4 years later and I've really been trying to research this and I'm now going to go back to court and try and get him back. My question is where do I stand after being out his life for so long in the eyes of court? And what rights do I have?
34skyline - 22-Aug-18 @ 8:19 AM
Hi there, me and my partner (ex now) had a wee boy I'm September 2011 and we split a few month later. Now for a full year after the split we had shared custody of our son 3.5 days a week each chopping and changing days to suit each other with work and training etc. Now after a year of this with no lawyers being involved (after me repeatedly asking to have something done in writing) she decided she didn't want me being part of our sons life because she had a new partner and was moving on. So for a year and a half I went through court to get my son back eventually after all that time without seeing my son or his mum I was granted 3.5 days a week with my son by court order. I managed I get a message to her saying so and within half an hour she was at my door reading the court order and said that she will not adhere to it and she will not let me see our son. So I went back to the lawyers and he said "we will just get her put in jail" which instantly put fear in to me the idea of taking his mother away from him even tho she done it to me I couldn't do that so I left it at that believing that if I pursued it he'd have his mother taken away and she is the only consistent being he has ever had. Now its 4 years later and I've really been trying to research this and I'm now going to go back to court and try and get him back. My question is where do I stand after being out his life for so long in the eyes of court? And what rights do I have?
34skyline - 20-Aug-18 @ 7:13 PM
I am in the process of divorcing my husband after finding out our 7 year marriage was a sham to get onto a spouse visa.I found out that he had been stealing from his boss all along, and when finally caught after 8 years of lying to everyone he’s stolen over £150,000.The man is a dangerous sociopath, so devoid of remorse for his theft that he even posted a further £350,000 of fraudulent transactions to the company’s books purely to cover his tracks.He has lied about every single aspect of our married life, even forging documents when I’ve challenged him.He is likely to go to prison for his crimes, and as a foreign national will most likely face deportation.His parents are illegal immigrants who regularly break the law, and his father is a volatile and aggressive man.I don’t feel that it’s in the best interests of my children for any of these people to be in their lives and I’m terrified that he’ll find a way to manipulate his boss into not pressing charges and then get away with everything he’s done.Is there anything I can do?I’m terrified that he’ll take my children and do something stupid.
FooledAgain - 17-Aug-18 @ 11:59 PM
SVivien - Your Question:
Hi. I’m very unhappy with my marriage and decisions my husband is making for me and my child. I’m scared because he wants to move to England from Scotland and I don’t want to go. I’ve got family here and no one there. If I filed for divorce, could I lose my child to England? Would I be forced to move there to be with my child? Would he have to stay here to see our child? I’m so unhappy and scared.

Our Response:
If you are the day-to-day primary carer of your child, then you can choose to stay in Scotland with your child, if you wish. You would not be forced to move.
ChildSupportLaws - 16-Aug-18 @ 12:23 PM
Hi. I’m very unhappy with my marriage and decisions my husband is making for me and my child. I’m scared because he wants to move to England from Scotland and I don’t want to go. I’ve got family here and no one there. If I filed for divorce, could I lose my child to England? Would I be forced to move there to be with my child? Would he have to stay here to see our child? I’m so unhappy and scared.
SVivien - 15-Aug-18 @ 9:39 PM
Eivy201 - Your Question:
Hi, I have a baby with my ex partner. He repeatedly drank alcohol excessively while looking after our daughter and after discovering cocaine in our home I chucked him out (March 2018). I tried to come to an agreement and he was seeing his daughter successfully. I agreed for him to look after our daughter while I went out with friends for my birthday. I came home early as he sent me messages that implied he was drunk. I came back after only 3 hours out to find he had drunk 2 bottles of vodka, smashed the bedroom up and passed out on our bed with my daughter on it. I chucked him out again, (I have 3 witnesses to this evening). I was advised by social services that I couldn't stop access so agreed for him to see her under supervision. He has repeatedly ruined this as is clearly still drinking and bombards me with accusations and threats. I no longer want him in my home to visit our daughter. We tried arranging mediation, I asked him to pay for me instead of paying money into my account for my daughter which he agreed and on the saying mediation he refused to pay for me! I have proof of all of his drinking and the situations where he out my daughter in danger. I now want to apply for full custody but I am so scared of him having any access. He is so good at manipulating people and playing the victim and he is now denying the drugs and alcohol. Would you recommend full custody? I am so scared of him not looking after her or taking her off me. She is too young to even say what happens while in his care and I am also scared of what the court would grant to him.

Our Response:
Unfortunately, there is no black and white answer here. If you have evidence of his drinking and drug taking, then this can be used in court. As with any child access arrangements it has to go through the process laid out via the link here first. If you feel your ex has given reason to take his child, then court may be the option. However, you will have to put it into the hands of the court to decide what it thinks is in your child's best interests.
ChildSupportLaws - 14-Aug-18 @ 2:02 PM
Hi,I have a baby with my ex partner. He repeatedly drank alcohol excessively while looking after our daughter and after discovering cocaine in our home I chucked him out (March 2018). I tried to come to an agreement and he was seeing his daughter successfully. I agreed for him to look after our daughter while I went out with friends for my birthday. I came home early as he sent me messages that implied he was drunk. I came back after only 3 hours out to find he had drunk 2 bottles of vodka, smashed the bedroom up and passed out on our bed with my daughter on it. I chucked him out again, (I have 3 witnesses to this evening). I was advised by social services that I couldn't stop access so agreed for him to see her under supervision. He has repeatedly ruined this as is clearly still drinking and bombards me with accusations and threats. I no longer want him in my home to visit our daughter. We tried arranging mediation, I asked him to pay for me instead of paying money into my account for my daughter which he agreed and on the saying mediation he refused to pay for me! I have proof of all of his drinking and the situations where he out my daughter in danger. I now want to apply for full custody but I am so scared of him having any access. He is so good at manipulating people and playing the victim and he is now denying the drugs and alcohol. Would you recommend full custody? I am so scared of him not looking after her or taking her off me. She is too young to even say what happens while in his care and I am also scared of what the court would grant to him.
Eivy201 - 13-Aug-18 @ 8:07 PM
Nails - Your Question:
Nearly a year from our separation things have started to get ugly and triggered by jealousy. Neither one of us want to talk to one another so can I draw up a contract that he picks our child up at certain times and drops her off at certain times to come to an agreement? Or does this only because valid if it’s done by a lawyer?

Our Response:
You can make and arrangement via a solicitor or through mediation. However, while it is a legal agreement and with mediation it is overseen and approved by the courts - only a court order is actually legally binding.
ChildSupportLaws - 10-Aug-18 @ 10:54 AM
Nearly a year from our separation things have started to get ugly and triggered by jealousy. Neither one of us want to talk to one another so can I draw up a contract that he picks our child up at certain times and drops her off at certain times to come to an agreement? Or does this only because valid if it’s done by a lawyer?
Nails - 9-Aug-18 @ 5:37 PM
Ldl1986 - Your Question:
My daughters father is currently under investigation for producing and supplying a class C drug, he’s waiting to be charged and will no doubt be going to prison for quite some time. He was producing and supplying at his home where my daughter goes to stay every other weekend! Is there a way I can legally stop him seeing our daughter before he gets sent to prison?

Our Response:
Yes, it would then be up to your ex to apply to court to reinstate contact. As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the child in question. The court will always put the child’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order.
ChildSupportLaws - 9-Aug-18 @ 12:37 PM
My daughters father is currently under investigation for producing and supplying a class C drug, he’s waiting to be charged and will no doubt be going to prison for quite some time. He was producing and supplying at his home where my daughter goes to stay every other weekend! Is there a way I can legally stop him seeing our daughter before he gets sent to prison?
Ldl1986 - 7-Aug-18 @ 8:09 PM
Flimzy- Your Question:
I have been split from my ex for over a year now. He was living with his mom and step dad and having the children on a Tuesday evening till 7.30 and a Thursday evening till 7.30 and 1 day and overnight stay at the weekend. His mom and stepdad have thrown him out and he is now staying in an over crowded house of his sisters. He has continually let the children down in recent months by not collecting them when arranged and not contacting them at all etc. His new relationship has now come into the open even though he’s been denying it and still telling me he loved me and wanted his family back since the day he left. He is now telling me he’s getting his own house and when he does he wants us to have 50/50 access. He never takes the children to their extra curricular activities and doesn’t do much with them anyway. As the previous arrangements were not working I changed them to 1 night per week till 7.30pm and 1 day at the weekend till 8pm. He will not have them overnight and now insists on bringing them back at 6pm on a Sunday, my suspicion is so I cannot go out anywhere so it’s his way to prevent that. Where will he stand with gaining 50/50 access? He works irregular hours, sometimes night shifts and starts too early to take the children to school and sometimes too late to be able to collect them or even have them at all, he states that his family will be having the children on his behalf on his days but in that case he is not for filling his role on a 50% basis surely?

Our Response:
Before the father of your children can apply to court, you both would have to either agree access between yourselves or via mediation. If your ex works irregular hours and does not currently have the children regularly, then it is highly unlikely he would be granted shared-care. You may wish to keep a diary as evidence to show specific dates when he has been unreliable or let them down, should the matter go to mediation or court.
ChildSupportLaws - 7-Aug-18 @ 2:14 PM
I have been split from my ex for over a year now. He was living with his mom and step dad and having the children on a Tuesday evening till 7.30 and a Thursday evening till 7.30 and 1 day and overnight stay at the weekend. His mom and stepdad have thrown him out and he is now staying in an over crowded house of his sisters. He has continually let the children down in recent months by not collecting them when arranged and not contacting them at all etc. His new relationship has now come into the open even though he’s been denying it and still telling me he loved me and wanted his family back since the day he left. He is now telling me he’s getting his own house and when he does he wants us to have 50/50 access. He never takes the children to their extra curricular activities and doesn’t do much with them anyway. As the previous arrangements were not working I changed them to 1 night per week till 7.30pm and 1 day at the weekend till 8pm. He will not have them overnight and now insists on bringing them back at 6pm on a Sunday, my suspicion is so I cannot go out anywhere so it’s his way to prevent that. Where will he stand with gaining 50/50 access? He works irregular hours, sometimes night shifts and starts too early to take the children to school and sometimes too late to be able to collect them or even have them at all, he states that his family will be having the children on his behalf on his days but in that case he is not for filling his role on a 50% basis surely?
Flimzy - 7-Aug-18 @ 12:55 AM
Gran - Your Question:
My son and his ex are in dispute over their 2 children and living arrangements. She now refuses him to see them although they have lived with him and myself since being removed from her almost 2 years ago. They have been to court and she also refuses me access saying theyre afraid of me. Since I have been instrumental in their upbringing since birth and throughout their parent's troubles until her recent obstructions. would ther be any point in applying for residency myself?

Our Response:
If you are the grandparent, you would not be allowed to apply for residency unless neither of his parents can take care of the children.
ChildSupportLaws - 3-Aug-18 @ 2:27 PM
My son and his ex are in dispute over their 2 children and living arrangements. She now refuses him to see them although they have lived with him and myself since being removed from her almost 2 years ago. They have been to court and she also refuses meaccess saying theyre afraid of me. Since i have been instrumental in their upbringing since birth and throughouttheir parent's troubles until her recent obstructions.. would ther be any point in applying for residency myself?
Gran - 3-Aug-18 @ 9:44 AM
bigdad - Your Question:
Hi , I've recently split from my partner after 23 years. we have 3 children 20, 9 and 12. the split has been fairly amicable however there is a mortgage and loan tied to the house which will prevent me buying my own home and starting again. I will at some point need to have my name removed from this debt and this will cause problems. Currently I pay these bills totalling approximately £900 a month. the split was down to her family basically turning her against me. I do not want a penny of the equity approx 80k just my name removed so I can start to rebuild. As she only works part time it's extremely unlikely she will get the loan needed to remortgage which may result in me insisting on the property being sold. As this will cause problems I want to formalise a joint custody arrangement prior so I won't have acsess to my kids removed when the problem arises. even though I can see them when I want without a permanent home I can't have them stay overnight. additionally I I can't build my new family home without reducing some of the current financial burden I carry. I understand she will not be able to support the house without my money but as we will be sharing residency I don't see that as my problem. how do I go about formalising a shared residency agreement ? thanks in advance

Our Response:
This is a tricky question to answer and much depends upon the willingness of your ex to fit in with your plans to sell the house and be willing to share the residency of your children. You may wish to seek some professional advice in order to explore your options in case she chooses not to agree, in which case a whole different set of circumstances could prevail. There is no way to formalise a child arrangement agreement that cannot be changed unless the matter goes to court and is decide by a court in what it sees as in the best interests of your children. Until then, any agreement made will be upon the goodwill and amicable agreement of both parents involved either mutually, by mediation or through a solicitor. The alternative scenario is that your ex opts to become the primary carer, you will then be required to pay child maintenance and your ex (if she can afford the mortgage with the help of child maintenance payments) may be allowed to remain in the house until your youngest child finishes full-time education.
ChildSupportLaws - 2-Aug-18 @ 12:28 PM
CDE18 - Your Question:
Hi, I'm in the process of separating from an ex partner and we have a 20 month old girl. We've all lived together since she was born in my house and my ex partner has left and returned to her own property with our child. We had an informal agreement (Alternate weekends and I had 2 nights a week) through family mediation which broke down when my ex partner turned up with family members and forced our child from me several weeks ago, this is being dealt with by the police at the moment. I've attended mediation and am waiting for her to do this, I've not seen my daughter for several weeks now after seeing her daily for 18 months and as we don't have a child arrangement order which could take months, I have no idea how to exercise my rights as a father, everything seems to be against fathers. I'm meant to see her at the weekend but only for 3 hours which I think is completely unreasonable having not seen her for so long. I have told the police that I would like to see her longer and I will ask my solicitor to contact hers hopefully after I've picked her up to say that I'll have her for the weekend. I have also told the mediator and I have had no response from my ex partner when I asked. Where do I stand with spending time with my daughter if my ex partner refuses to respond to any requests? And can the child minder (close friends with her sister who assaulted me) prevent me from having access to my daughter when I try to pick her up? I have parental responsibility, I'm on the birth certificate I work as an Engineer and own my own family home, she is being completely unreasonable and not amicable and I think that in the long term mediation will fail and we'll be in court. Thanks

Our Response:
I am sorry to hear this. If your ex refuses to attend mediation, then you can apply to court. However, unfortunately it can take time and there is no forcing the issue in any other way. Our Separated Dads forum may help you here as many of our dads have been through the same or similar situations. The child arrangement order process is outlined via the link here .
ChildSupportLaws - 2-Aug-18 @ 11:16 AM
Hi, I'm in the process of separating from an ex partner and we have a 20 month old girl. We've all lived together since she was born in my house and my ex partner has left and returned to her own property with our child. We had an informal agreement (Alternate weekends and I had 2 nights a week) through family mediation which broke down when my ex partner turned up with family members and forced our child from me several weeks ago, this is being dealt with by the police at the moment. I've attended mediation and am waiting for her to do this, I've not seen my daughter for several weeks now after seeing her daily for 18 months and as we don't have a child arrangement order which could take months, I have no idea how to exercise my rights as a father, everything seems to be against fathers. I'm meant to see her at the weekend but only for 3 hours which I think is completely unreasonable having not seen her for so long. I have told the police that I would like to see her longer and I will ask my solicitor to contact hers hopefully after I've picked her up to say that I'll have her for the weekend. I have also told the mediator and I have had no response from my ex partner when I asked. Where do I stand with spending time with my daughter if my ex partner refuses to respond to any requests? And can the child minder (close friends with her sister who assaulted me) prevent me from having access to my daughter when I try to pick her up? I have parental responsibility, I'm on the birth certificate I work as an Engineer and own my own family home, she is being completely unreasonable and not amicable and I think that in the long term mediation will fail and we'll be in court. Thanks
CDE18 - 1-Aug-18 @ 3:21 PM
Hi , I've recently split from my partner after 23 years. we have 3 children 20, 9 and 12. the split has been fairly amicable however there is a mortgage and loan tied to the house which will prevent me buying my own home and starting again. I will at some point need to have my name removed from this debt and this will cause problems. Currently I pay these bills totalling approximately £900 a month. the split was down to her family basically turning her against me. I do not want a penny of the equity approx 80k just my name removed so I can start to rebuild. As she only works part time it's extremely unlikely she will get the loan needed to remortgage which may result in me insisting on the property being sold. As this will cause problems I want to formalise a joint custody arrangement prior so I won't have acsess to my kids removed when the problem arises. even thoughI can see them when I want without a permanent home I can't have them stay overnight. additionally I I can't build my new family home without reducing some of the current financial burden I carry. i understand she will not be able to support the house without my money but as we will be sharing residency I don't see that as my problem. how do I go about formalising a shared residency agreement ? thanks in advance
bigdad - 1-Aug-18 @ 12:40 AM
Crystal - Your Question:
Hi I just need some advise I have a 3year old daughter who used to see her dad weekends his left me no choice but to stop it as his threaten not to bring her back to me for the second time and failed to pay for her in July but didn't bother contacting csa to let them know his lost his job b apparently his got no fone and the address they have he does no longer live there. I was meant to go away with my daughter abroad for a couple weeks to see my family her passport was missing turns out her dad took it which he also admitted to so that worried me why he would take her passport. And his being racist aswel which I think is so wrong as his daughter is not fully English. I've tried to set somthing up with him but his always messing it up and he was suppose to get somthing set in place which I thought he was doing turns out his not. I don't know what his plans are and I'm worried due to him taking her passport aswel I don't trust him at all. I have a non-molestation order on him and I'm not sure what my oppositions are now I would like to have full custody over my child because I'm worried his just going to mess it all up again and that his prob not gonna actually sort anything I would like to do this for my child so she can still see her dad but I want it somthing to say that she lives with her mum and has to be returned to her mum by set days and times. Please can somone let me know how to go about all this coz I've tried over and over again and it's my daughter that's always being messed about I just want somthing set in place for once and for all. What are my oppositions please

Our Response:
If you are concerned about your ex taking your child out of the country without consent you can apply for a Prohibited Steps Order through court. A PSO, is an order granted by the court in family cases which prevents either parent from carrying out certain events or making specific trips with their child without the express permission of the other parent. This is more common in cases where there is suspicion that one parent may leave the area with their child. However, if you wish to apply for a residency order (which determines with who your child should live) you would have to apply to court via the link here.
ChildSupportLaws - 31-Jul-18 @ 2:00 PM
Hi I just need some advise I have a 3year old daughter who used to see her dad weekends his left me no choice but to stop it as his threaten not to bring her back to me for the second time and failed to pay for her in July but didn't bother contacting csa to let them know his lost his job b apparently his got no fone and the address they have he does no longer live there. I was meant to go away with my daughter abroad for a couple weeks to see my family her passport was missing turns out her dad took it which he also admitted to so that worried me why he would take her passport. And his being racist aswel which I think is so wrong as his daughter is not fully English. I've tried to set somthing up with him but his always messing it up and he was suppose toget somthing set in place which I thought he was doing turns out his not. I don't know what his plans are and I'm worried due to him taking her passport aswel I don't trust him at all. I have a non-molestation order on him and I'm not sure what my oppositions are now I would like to have full custody over my child because I'm worried his just going to mess it all up again and that his prob not gonna actually sort anything I would like to do this for my child so she can still see her dad but I want it somthing to say that she lives with her mum and has to be returned to her mum by set days and times. Please can somone let me know how to go about all this coz I've tried over and over again and it's my daughter that's always being messed about I just want somthing set in place for once and for all. What are my oppositions please
Crystal - 30-Jul-18 @ 7:37 PM
Missy - Your Question:
Looking to see when my husband stands. He has 2 kids from previous relationship and has regular weekend access and holiday access. Over this holiday access we discovered kids home.life with mum is not as great as we would expect and have had social services involved. Today we have children back to their mum after social work finished investigating the children's claims. Whilst they are back with mum social work still plan to visit and monitor the children and also teach their mum and her partner about better ways to chastise the children as they reported being hit by both mum.and her bf. Social decided it was a disapline technique and are monitoring. We are against any hitting of the children and we have asked our lawyer to firstly make mum aware we do not want her boyfriend around the children given he slapped the children in the face (police decided not to take this further). We are also not overly happy with the way their mum is parenting and are trying to decide if we would be in a position to got for residency. The issue is we live over an hour away there for it would involve relocating the children and unsure if this is something the court would grant. Any advise on our position?

Our Response:
I am sorry to hear this and you and your husband must be understandably concerned. In the first instance, it is better to work alongside the recommendations of social workers whilst also keeping a close eye on and monitoring the children yourselves when you have regular access. As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the child in question. The court will always put the child’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order. In cases such as yours, social services will attempt to work with the parents towards being better parents, but should another incidence occur of a similar nature then your husband (if he has parental responsibility) can step in and keep the children until the court can resolve the matter. However, your husband may like to seek legal advice.
ChildSupportLaws - 26-Jul-18 @ 2:43 PM
Share Your Story, Join the Discussion or Seek Advice...
Title:
(never shown)
Firstname:
(never shown)
Surname:
(never shown)
Email:
(never shown)
Nickname:
(shown)
Comment:
Validate:
Enter word:
Latest Comments
Further Reading...
Our Most Popular...
Add to my Yahoo!
Add to Google
Stumble this
Add to Twitter
Add To Facebook
RSS feed
You should seek independent professional advice before acting upon any information on the ChildSupportLaws website. Please read our Disclaimer.